
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1804462.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Star_Wars_Episode_I:_The_Phantom_Menace
  Relationship:
      Qui-Gon_Jinn/Obi-Wan_Kenobi, Obi-Wan_Kenobi_&_Anakin_Skywalker
  Character:
      Obi-Wan_Kenobi, Qui-Gon_Jinn, Anakin_Skywalker_|_Darth_Vader
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Canon_Divergence, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Action/
      Adventure, First_Time
  Stats:
      Published: 2004-06-18 Chapters: 5/5 Words: 98990
****** Shades of The Past ******
by sian1359
Summary
     Jedi hunters and Sith haunters
Notes
     Warnings for semi non-consensual and underage sexual interests
     Old fic
     This was done for Halloween, but not as a Dead Padawan Society story.
     This took most of a year to get out, starting as a short (hah!)
     offering for Halloween, and as my backhanded tribute to Liam's The
     Haunting (which I despised in part because I loved the original book
     by Shirley Jackson and rather thought the first b/w movie was also
     quite good as both rely on storytelling to build real tension and
     suspense, not stupid special effects). Instead, it has become rather
     lengthy and involved - being my longest story yet to date -- spawning
     way too many ideas (I've stolen a certain plot device from the X-Men
     and Marvel Entertainment Group, Inc. for instance) and a viable
     alternate universe in my mind that I intend to continue exploring at
     some later date. At this point any resemblance to The Haunting or The
     Haunting of Hill House is superficial, but yes there is a house, a
     spiral staircase, and something unseen. Also, I have grown up on John
     Wayne movies, Alistair MacLean and Clive Cussler books, where action
     heroes can do anything despite the odds and their injuries (and never
     have mundane bodily needs ). So some literary license of what our
     Jedi and the Force can allow them to accomplish may be present. I am
     not a doctor or nurse, and my EMT reference person has moved out of
     state with no computer access.
     Kudos and Thanks: to Lori who made sure this finally got finished, my
     every sterling and ever vigilant Jedi Christy who has been there for
     me through AU after AU, and to Jennifer/Gail, who didn't know enough
     to say no. Feedback can come to me publicly or privately.
***** Chapter 1 *****
**********
Part One
1.
"Tell me again, Master, why we're here?" the younger asked the elder, his tone
a mixture of interest and anticipation along with frustration and resignation.
It was the tone of a student to teacher, yet with a touch of something that
might strike an outsider to be curiously like friendship despite the disparity
of their ages and responsibilities to each other.
`Here' was the northeast tower of the complex of buildings collectively known
as the Jedi Temple of Coruscant. The name was quite the misnomer, as ten
separate buildings actually comprised the complex, several connected only by
arched walkways and intricately paved garden paths. The smallest building
encompassed a base perimeter of nearly a quarter mile and rose up to thirty
levels, while the largest could have held a full village in the old days before
Coruscant the planet had become a world-encompassing, single city.
None of the buildings actually housed anything outsiders might call a temple;
the name was a throwback to the days when Coruscant still held indigenous
species and a natural environment instead of being the center of the Galactic
Republic, and when the Jedi were a religious order of less than a hundred
supplicants instead of the ten thousand or so from just as many diverse
cultures who now followed a more secular, philosophical path.
Millions of feet or other appendages had traveled these same corridors as those
currently, the Order having grown over the ages with the city and with the
Republic. No doubt countless other apprentices had asked the same question of
their master, some even with the same mixture of emotions. No matter how many
years had come and gone, no matter how many species learned of the Force and
joined in the active pursuit to defend and protect and so became Jedi, the
nature of students and teachers remained constant. A student asked why. And,
whether the question had been asked for the sake of knowledge, or in just the
opposite -- as an attempt to avoid a lesson -- the teacher always had an
answer.
Just not always the answer the apprentice looked for.
"What's the matter, Padawan? Afraid you will accidentally brush against one of
the books and learn something by osmosis?" the master chided the younger man.
"Or are you just afraid you'll get lost, which is quite the possibility I
admit, given how little time you've ever spent here?"
"Hey! I've only gotten lost here once -"
"Twice."
"Fine, twice," the teenager snarled, but without rancor. "But the first time
was because I had never seen a book before. And you brought me to a place that
held millions. So I got a little overwhelmed and forgot to watch where I was
walking. Well, where you were walking." He stopped and turned toward his elder
who also stopped, and thrust out an accusatory finger. "The second time was
even more your fault. And I didn't get lost, I got left behind because you were
walking too fast for me to keep up. Of course, that's not a problem anymore,"
he added with marked laughter, his eyes crinkling in amusement.
Indeed in the last year, it had become the master needing to quicken his step
to keep up. At seventeen, Anakin Skywalker was already five centimeters taller
than his master, and likely had more than several more to grow. Nor was the
youth who strode so confidently beside him the insecure, yet hyperactive child
he had taken as his padawan learner eight years ago.
"That sounds remarkably like a boast, Padawan." Letting a half smile reach his
own lips, Obi-Wan Kenobi turned his steady regard to his apprentice. "You know
I will make you live to regret such a challenge. Should I give you a choice as
to which field of battle you will lose?"
Obi-Wan still held the edge in their competitive sparring, in agility and, of
course, in most of the academic pursuits they both liked to indulge in; he had
almost twice the number of years, and significantly more experience. But Anakin
was definitely the more inspired pilot, although the teen's occasional lack of
common sense and a tendency toward impatience just as often translated into
indulging in reckless or foolish tactics behind the controls. Because of his
size, the teen was also stronger physically, but with little of the finesse
that applied skill and experience should eventually bring. Anakin was also
stronger psychically in raw power, but like his physical strength, he still had
a lot of learning and control to pick up. Plus, Obi-Wan had a few tricks up the
sleeve of his umber robe, which should keep him ahead despite his student's
growing maturity.
Like a lifetime of conditioning not to make anything easy. Even the answer to a
simple question.
"I don't suppose the Council would grant a trip to Malastare even if it was for
you to try and whip my butt in pod-racing," Anakin lamented. Then muttered, but
not quite softly enough not to be heard, "like you ever could," before
continuing, unrepentant. "So no, Master, if you feel you must vaunt your
prowess over your lowly apprentice, the choice of combat is yours."
"I only wish we had the time, Padawan," Obi-Wan turned suddenly sober, yet not
because of anger at his student's teasing disrespect or the glare from the
older, Bothan master they were passing by.
"A new mission already, Master?" While Anakin could mask his emotions
psychically to the point that even those of the Jedi High Council would have
trouble breaching his shields, he could rarely keep them from showing through
his expressions, like wide eyes of surprise and a budding grin of excitement.
Such ... enthusiasm had certainly made some of their previous missions
interesting.
Of course, he couldn't shield his guilt any better than his enthusiasm.
Obi-Wan knew that Anakin still believed himself personally responsible for the
breakdown of the peace process they'd been sent to oversee in their last
mission. And, unfortunately, Anakin also felt he should be punished for that
breakdown, if not by his own master, then by the Council. The teen didn't yet
understand that his own guilt was leading him to evaluate and learn from his
actions better than any form of punishment could, coupled with the meditations
he'd needed undertake to pass the time while being confined to Medical.
Some missions were simply doomed to failure even before they were undertaken.
Although there were Jedi - Obi-Wan included - who could glimpse the future,
nothing was ever that absolute, especially where free will was involved. Any
single decision or action could change the future, which was why living in the
moment was so important. And had been one of the hardest lessons Obi-Wan had
ever needed learn from his own master.
Just as not believing that everything centered on that one moment was still
Anakin's lesson to learn. That despite his unprecedented access to the wonders
of the Force and his unmatched abilities to wield its powers, the future did
not depend solely on one - not so lowly - Jedi apprentice by the name of Anakin
Skywalker.
The inherent contradiction that gave meaning to being alive instead of just
living.
Now if he could convince Anakin of this. And that their new mission wasn't a
punitive one.
"The Council had received rumors that someone is searching for information on
the Sith, Anakin." Obi-Wan dropped his voice not so much in deference to their
surroundings, but because this was information not really meant to be casually
overheard, even by other Jedi.
Anakin's stride faltered. Instantly Obi-Wan put out his hand to steady his
padawan, also transmitting some of his own energy to offer comfort and control
instead of the more common exchange to promote physical healing. This new
mission was too soon, both from terms of recovery from any previous mission,
but especially from that particular mission. First Dugs and Toydarians and now
one of the Fallen Ones, bringing with it even more difficult associative
memories for them both.
It had been a Sith who had killed Obi-Wan's master, thus forestalling a
relationship that should have been more as brothers having been raised and
taught by the same man instead of now being teacher to student/parent to child
for all that there were only fourteen years between them.
At least now Anakin didn't need to ask why Obi-Wan had not refused the mission.
Nearly as long as there had been Jedi, so too had come the Sith; those who
stood in polar opposite to all that Jedi lived and fought for. Countless
battles, even wars, had been fought between the two Orders throughout
millennia, although there had been just as many battles amongst the Sith
themselves as against the Jedi enemy. Thousands of Jedi had died in the last
war, yet Sith deaths had been in the tens of thousands -- their near
extermination -- when the cessation of overt hostilities had come about. And
that cessation had lasted for thousands of years.
For many now, the Sith were only myth or characters out of history. But some
Jedi held that the Sith were not truly gone, as darkness could never be
completely overcome even by light. Too many remnants of the battles and the
Sith's blood magics lay in wait to be found by those disenchanted with
following the Light, even if they did not truly worship the Dark.
So all Jedi were prepared for the inevitable time of conflict to come again,
even as they sought to defend and protect all of those worlds and creatures the
Dark would one day return to claim. Each rumor needed to be investigated, each
place or spell of evil found and exposed. Most of these rumors over the last
thousand years had simply been phantoms of the true menace, darkness instead of
Dark.
Until a little conflict on the Outer Rim world of Naboo.
It had been there that a true Sith had once again surfaced to terrorize and
destroy; succeeding at least within the heart of the Jedi Order, for all that
the tiny world had been saved. A master, one of their best defenders, had been
foully killed. Leaving Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi with the
distinctions of being the only Jedi within living memory who had seen - and
fought - a Sith.
It was not for revenge but practicality that led the Jedi Council to ask Obi-
Wan and Anakin to undertake this mission of tracking down the rumor. Having
fought and defeated that Sith, Obi-Wan had not only proven his mettle and
abilities so that his knighthood was then granted without the standard trials
so undertaken by every other Jedi in the Order's recent history, he was also
the only Jedi aware of what the Fallen Ones were capable of outside of tales
taught, but too often discounted. He knew of their powers first hand. He
believed. And he would, therefore, be less likely to succumb to overestimating
his abilities if something out of myth again proved true.
"So that's why the library, Master?" was all that Anakin asked as they again
resumed their striding.
Obi-Wan nodded. "There is a twist to this one, my padawan. We need to consult
with another master because if the information the Council received is correct,
the being looking for information on the Sith is ... dead."
Again Anakin stumbled in a step, but righted himself and continued forward
before Obi-Wan could offer aid again. "Dead? You mean we're hunting a ghost?"
The most undignified squeak since the teen had hit puberty came out of Anakin's
mouth.
"We have discussed their possibilities in the past, Ani, had you but paid
attention," Obi-Wan rebuked mildly.
"I did," came in something close to a whine. "But I thought they were just
stories you made up to give me a good scare. You know, like the Sith will get
you ..." At Obi-Wan's expression of sympathetic amusement, Ani trailed off and
blushed clear to the tips of his ears that were quite visible due to his close-
cropped hair.
"Exactly Padawan," Obi-Wan said fondly. "Like Sith, ghosts can be all too real.
This one may be trying to become both. So I need to consult with someone who
has had experience in dealing with Force spirits, since I have not."
Anakin stayed silent and was still too pale for Obi-Wan's liking.
"What is it, Padawan? The Healers have pronounced you fit, but if you do not
feel up to it -"
"No, no! I'm fine. Fully recovered and ready to get back to work." But to one
who knew him so well, the smile and enthusiasm were obviously forced.
"Padawan - Ani." This time Obi-Wan stopped. He turned and placed a hand on
Anakin's shoulder, then looked up to meet the other's eyes. "Does the nature of
this mission really bother you so, Anakin? Even though we've discussed death
and what happens afterward, you don't really believe, do you?"
Anakin looked even more stricken if that was possible. "I do believe - well, I
think I believe," he whispered, his eyes dropping. When he again looked up
those blue orbs were impossibly wide. "But why didn't the Sith you killed on
Naboo become a spirit, then? I mean, if anyone would want to come back and
haunt something, I would think he would have."
Obi-Wan stifled a sigh. It wasn't the Sith that Anakin was really wondering
about, that kept him doubting one the basic tenets of their Code: There is no
death; there is only the Force. What he truly wanted to know was why he had
never seen his mother's spirit after her death. Or the one who had freed him
from his slavery, Obi-Wan's master.
"Usually spirits only stay when they have unfinished business, Ani. Becoming
one with the Force is very comforting, especially when life had been so
difficult. The need and will to resist that comfort must be very great. To deny
those we love their peace would be rather selfish, wouldn't it? Especially when
we have our memories, when we are their legacies?"
Anakin finally nodded. "But memories of being held are not the same as being
held." His eyes were suspiciously bright.
His own tears just a blink away from falling; Obi-Wan gave the teen a quick hug
that would have been squirmed away from in embarrassment at almost any other
time. "I know, Ani. And it is okay to miss people. But neither of us is alone,
right? Not while we have each other."
The shy grin that was instantly offered was so reminiscent of their first
meeting that Obi-Wan had to struggle very hard not to let his tears fall. He
could never have gotten over his master's death if it hadn't been for Anakin,
and he did not want to know how deep into despair or even darkness he might
have fallen.
"So this ... ghost will be pretty dangerous?" Anakin asked.
Obi-Wan nodded. He raised a hand up to brush Anakin's neck at the start point
of his padawan braid, then let his fingers follow to its end just past Anakin's
shoulder blade before giving it a quick tug. "Even without a Sith's power a
ghost can be dangerous. Which is why I must be sure you are ready for this. I'm
not sure I can find a replacement for myself, but I could probably convince one
of the unpartnered knights to come with me instead --"
"I don't want you going after something without me, Master," Anakin said softly
but with surprising vehemence. "I am your padawan. I am supposed to be at your
side."
Unfortunately Anakin still looked so much like the lost little boy Obi-Wan had
first met in the hold of a Queen's ship. Instead of tugging again on the braid,
Obi-Wan fingered the beads that adorned the length. When they had first paired,
Obi-Wan had needed use part of his own braid to get the braid started. He
couldn't see any of the ginger strands, but knew they were still there, hidden
within the golden ones, just as his had been woven with strands of his
master's, the only thing he had left of his master, in fact. The length and the
number of beads on Anakin's spoke eloquently of their many years and missions
together.
"And there is no one I would rather have at my side. But if there is -" He
frowned suddenly as a bit of memory came back. Or perhaps it was from a leak in
Anakin's shields. Not his own memory, but Anakin's.
"It's not just the ghost, is it? You don't want to go on any mission yet,
because -- damn, your next pilot rating test is in two days, isn't it?"
Talk about being an inadequate master. His master had always known Obi-Wan's
schedule, often times better than Obi-Wan remembered it himself. Even being so
often off-planet in the course of their duties, still he'd always been provided
time for certain testings or classes. For Anakin, all he had needed do was
remember and inform the Council to take them off the active rolls --
"There will be a chance to retest in six months, Master," came quickly. "I
really would rather be with you than stay behind. You know how I hate taking
tests anyway."
"Which is all the more reason I should insist on you staying and taking it,"
Obi-Wan responded with a wry smile to his padawan's effort at soothing his
conscience. "Your needs are just as important as the Council's, and I am not
only supposed to be making sure you are learning how to be a Jedi, but how to
be a man. Which means helping you face and overcome the things you dislike. As
well as encouraging you to take time for yourself and your individual
interests. Like flying."
Anakin offered a bigger, slightly twisted smile of his own, and Obi-Wan took a
step back from the hint of mischievousness he now faced. "What?"
"How about I go on the mission, but we use the Udan Orr?" his padawan asked
with no further evidence of any trepidation over leaving. Or over ghosts. "If
you let me do most of the piloting and sign off on it, it'll more than make up
for having to postpone the rating test."
Obi-Wan had to smile at the teen's resilience. Despite having started his life
as a slave -- or perhaps because of it -- Anakin had become very good at making
the best out of things others would more likely rail about. And even if he used
it sometimes as a way to manipulate his master into granting a boon greater
than the disappointment was worth, such unfailing optimism was pretty
impossible to willfully destroy.
Like denying him the opportunity to fly the Udan Orr.
Obi-Wan had inherited the scout ship a couple of years past. Because it had
come from his birth family, he'd been granted an exemption from the rather
inflexible rules of what type of property Jedi could receive or keep. And
because of his willingness to occasionally use it in lieu of the hires
contracted by the Order, the Council let him berth it at the temple with the
few other own ships so he needn't worry about trying to find money for storage
or docking fees.
Just the expense of maintaining a ship was generally well beyond a Jedi's usual
means. Jedi earned no money but a monthly stipend from the Order, along with
lodging, food and clothing; accepting fees or rewards from those they assisted
was thought to compromise their famed neutrality. But the Council allowed Obi-
Wan to draw on equipment, parts and fuel stores, even when such items were not
needed for a specific mission. In part because he and Ani also spent a portion
of their downtime in the maintenance bays working on more than Obi-Wan's ship.
Obi-Wan was a skilled mechanic, Anakin a gifted one. It was much the same as
for their piloting abilities, Obi-Wan having the greater skill and experience
with a much larger variety of ships, but Anakin the more instinctive flyer.
"I think that can be arranged, Padawan," he grinned even if his response or his
expression wasn't exactly masterful. "And I am pleased that you are willing to
set aside your fears and take this mission with me."
He certainly had not wanted to conduct the mission without his padawan, even
though the threat of danger was likely. His own apprenticeship had amply proven
that a master couldn't always protect their charge from danger. And he would
much rather take the risk of Anakin getting physically hurt than mentally or
emotionally stifled by showing over protectiveness.
Nor did Obi-Wan really trust anyone else to do a better job of seeing to
Anakin's needs or safety than himself.
Of course, that didn't mean that he would always push his padawan into
something the teen actively resisted. Or that there wouldn't be the occasion
where Anakin didn't come along, fear or not. It would soon be time to give
Anakin a choice, of recognizing that his padawan was coming to an age to begin
making his own decisions and choices under certain circumstances.
He probably could have started such a rgime a year or more ago, but for too
long -- because of his late start in training -- Anakin had been too
inexperienced to make such a judgment based on anything other than emotion,
especially as compared to his age mates. And certainly in the beginning, any
time away from each other had set back Anakin's training far more than having a
variety of instructors would have helped.
Many of Anakin's peers -- and even some of those instructors -- still had a
tendency to be uneasy dealing with Anakin's extraordinary rapport with the
Force. His padawan was trusted to do the right things and was respected for his
abilities, but because he had not grown up in one of the temples from infancy
as had the others, there were still situations when Anakin's differences
brought him into direct conflict.
In some ways Obi-Wan thought it fortunate he had inherited Anakin's training
from his own master, otherwise he might have harbored some of the same doubts
about training someone so old and already set in ways counter to the codes,
tenets and mores of the Jedi. Obi-Wan had been twenty-three, had really only
been a senior padawan himself when he suddenly found himself granted knighthood
and a padawan within a few weeks of each other. The first months - even those
first couple of years - had been a period of great learning for them both,
something Obi-Wan had never hid from Anakin, though other masters had expected
and probably wished that he had.
Many of the older and much more experienced masters thought Obi-Wan far too
familiar with his padawan. On the other hand, Obi-Wan had known from the first
that Anakin would have resented the type of authority the others cautioned him
to impose, which would have seriously endangered an already difficult
relationship. Having been born into slavery, dreams of being a Jedi had been
Anakin's original taste of freedom. At nine years of age, all he had known was
that he never wanted anyone to have that type of power over him again, even if
it was supposedly for his own good. But that was exactly what some of the other
masters had been insisting.
It had been mutual grief and abandonment that had brought them together, an
uneasy alliance against the expectations of others that found them creating a
bond and, finally, mutual respect and an eagerness on both their parts to prove
their maturity that led them to become friends.
Anakin learned that being free did not always mean doing what he wanted, while
Obi-Wan learned when to discipline and when to share his own failures. Theirs
might not be one of the most traditional pairings in the Order, but their
mission success record spoke for itself. As did the number of friends they both
had individually, and as a pair.
Speaking of which -- before he or Anakin got the opportunity to call out to the
Calamarian woman just beyond the doors were passing by, some of the children
with her spotted them. Their excited, high-pitched voices drowned out anything
the adults might have been about to say.
"Ani, Ani! Master Obi!"
In seconds thirteen initiates, some as young as four and others approaching the
beginning of their time of choosing at eight, surrounded Obi-Wan and Anakin.
Obi-Wan was tempted to let the eager little hands pull him down as they did his
padawan; the children's undisguised happiness at seeing two of their favorites
not only lightened Obi-Wan's heart but he took perverse pleasure in the frowns
he, Anakin and children were receiving from some of the other nearby Jedi for
all the noise. It wasn't as if the books minded laughter. And there were plenty
of booths and rooms scattered throughout the library that researchers or
readers could disappear into if they required quiet.
Bant rescued him, however, before he'd have to be the villain for the day and
extract himself and Anakin from the throng. The salmon- skinned Calamarian wove
in and amongst the little ones, transferring handholds from Obi-Wan's legs and
clothes to her own. She even managed to lean over and let him give her a quick
kiss to her lightly scaled cheek.
"No more pestering Master Obi, you misbegotten, horrid wretches!" she growled,
much to the children's delight. "You promised me you'd behave if I brought you
here for story time."
"But we are b'haven, Bant, " a bright-eyed Bothan lisped. "Ani and Mather Obi
can tell uth a thory, and fen we don't gotta go any farfer."
Bant shook her head. "But it is not Master Obi and Ani's turn to tell stories.
We are here to see --"
"Uh huh, Master Bant," a slightly younger human girl argued. "It's been ever so
long since we've seen them, so it's got to be their turn!"
Obi-Wan grabbed up one of the little girls who was persistently attempting to
climb up his leg for a hug, while surreptitiously trying to straighten the
leggings she had instead nearly succeeded in pulling down over his hips. And
ignored his padawan's not so subtle amusement at his predicament.
"I am sorry it has been so long since we've visited," he apologized, giving
Morgan her hug, then stooping down to receive twelve more hugs. "You know we
love you all. But we've been on a mission -"
"Ooh, what kind of mission?" one of the oldest, a male Devaronian interrupted.
"Did you save anybody? Did you have to fight?"
"Yes we did," Anakin said from amongst his own crowd of kissers and huggers.
"Two warring generals didn't want to give up to the civilians who had agreed on
peace," he explained in simple terms. "I wouldn't have come back at all if
Master Obi hadn't also saved me as he did the delegates." Gently pulling his
arm from around one of the smaller human boys, Anakin flipped back the sleeve
of his robe and turned up the cuff of his tunic. Pink scars were visible on
both sides of his left forearm from the projectile that had nearly caused him
to bleed to death.
The youngest ones grew wide-eyed and poked gently at the puckered marks. They
were not yet of an age to understand the pain that came with something like
that, but a few of the older initiates had recently begun sparring lessons with
powered down versions of a training lightsaber. Anything that would leave such
a scar had to be much worse than the light burns they were learning to handle.
They looked at Anakin with a mixture of respect and worry. He had not been more
than a year older than the oldest in their group before he had become Obi-Wan's
padawan. And had gone on his first mission. While this one had happened eight
years later, they understood that getting injured like that could have happened
on any mission. And might soon happen to one of them.
"Well, then we shall all have to thank Master Obi for being such a good master
and saving the delegates and Anakin, shan't we?" Bant said to her charges.
Suddenly Obi-Wan was receiving thirteen more hugs, then a fourteenth from
Anakin. He didn't think he'd given into the blush he felt, but from Bant's
wicked gleam, she was well aware of his embarrassment. And she was taking quite
of bit of pride from being part of the cause. He shot back a glance her way
that promised retribution, then turned it on Anakin for good measure lest the
teen do anything more.
"Will you tell uth what happened?" the young Bothan asked before Obi-Wan could
do anything, however.
While Jedi never kept the truth of the dangers of their way of life from the
children in training, neither did they usually go out of their way to boast
about their exploits.
"Maybe next time," Obi-Wan promised, eyes and expression softening. "But Ani
and I are getting ready to go on our next mission, and you still have the real
story time to get to. Now we can only tell you good-bye."
Which got him a third round of hugs, and Anakin a second. Even Bant hugged him
this time, and offered a kiss back. "You two take care of yourselves," she said
softly. "I want to hear your stories just as much as the little ones do."
Obi-Wan brushed his fingers across her cheek and nodded. "Don't let them run
you into the shallows," he offered one of the sayings of her own amphibious
people.
"Never," she laughed. "It would take more than these little ones to catch me."
And she softly clapped her webbed hands together, bringing the children back to
attention and into somewhat orderly rows.
Amidst a chorus of good-byes and good lucks, Obi-Wan watched with a bittersweet
smile as the sister of his heart limped away. They had both lost their masters
at roughly the same time, with Bant also losing a leg during her disastrous
mission. She had received a bionic replacement -- along with her knighthood -
- but had chosen to retire from field duty after months of therapy and re-
training brought her to the realization that she'd never again have the
strength or stamina she had enjoyed before her injury. Even training a padawan
was out due to her limitations, so technically she would never become a master.
But in her loss she had also discovered the great gift of healing that came
from a child's laughter, and had found a new calling for herself within the
crèches.
"Maybe next break you can take a turn teaching," Anakin suggested quietly as he
came to stand by Obi-Wan's side. "We can both spend some time with the
initiates, and you can see Bant and Reeft for more time than just passing in
the halls."
Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a moment before nodding. Of his closest friends
while growing up, only Bant and Reeft were still around. So many of his age
mates were either involved in long-term assignments in the Outer Rim or beyond,
or were dead. This time of great prosperity for the Republic also meant so many
more troubles that seemed only the Jedi could handle.
Such as the return of the Sith.
*******
Anakin watched the mantle of melancholy settle over his master, something that
really hadn't waned in their years together despite his attempts to offer ease
and friendship. From what little he had been able to find out from some of his
master's peers, the moodiness was a new facet of his personality, something
that had manifested only after Naboo.
He understood, of course. He had seen his own share of death and was changed
himself. But he had only vague memories of his mother before her death, and
even fewer of Obi-Wan's master as he'd been free for only a few days before
death had found the Master Jedi on Naboo.
And even the best of the slave masters had left him feeling little sorrow in
their deaths.
How hard those first days must have been for Obi-Wan. Losing his lover and his
master, getting stuck with a padawan, then his best friend Garen's death and
Bant's horrific injury less than two weeks later. Anakin had at least had the
newness of the Temple to occupy his time and thoughts, the wonder of being able
to become a Jedi. And all the lessons, since he was so far behind the others
his age in any sort of schooling or training. Yes, Obi-Wan had had the newness
of becoming a master, but how much worse had it been to have to train the one
whose very presence served as a constant reminder of what - and who -- Obi-Wan
had lost?
Anakin felt flattered that his master now trusted him enough to let emotions
like melancholy show. They had hidden so much from each other in those first
months, thinking to spare the other pain and loneliness, but serving instead
only to keep the despair bottled within, unable to let go. It was only after
their pain was shared that it began to lessen, and their bond began to grow.
Anakin had known that some on the Council had recommended he be turned away in
those first days, knew others among the Jedi still didn't trust him or at least
expected him to fail. But none of that mattered in the face of his master's
trust. Of his faith and love.
And his master had such a great capacity for love. Anakin found himself vowing
again, as he had several times before, that one day he would see his master
return to the joyous person he rarely had glimpses of other than in stories of
the past.
"Are you sure you haven't gotten us lost, Master?" Anakin looked in dismay down
the hallway they now stood within. There were at least twenty closed doors
stretching out before them, ten to each side. Ahead was an intersecting
corridor that undoubtedly held at least another twenty. He had certainly never
been in this part of the library before.
If it was still even considered part of the library.
"He's here somewhere," came the distracted reply. His master obviously had only
a vague idea of what he was looking for; he was reading each sign they passed
instead of heading toward one of the doors directly.
"He who?" Anakin could check out the other side and maybe speed up the time
spent searching.
"The former head of the library on Solis Four," was offered without his master
seeming to realize he hadn't given Anakin an answer that the teen could use.
"We're here to see a librarian?" Anakin groused. "Sithspit, I bet he's as old
as Master Yoda," he further muttered to himself. "And as boring as Master Mundi
or Master Koon."
"Maybe we'll be lucky and he'll be a Wookiee who doesn't even understand
Interlac," the other shot right back, obviously not so distracted that he
hadn't heard the rest of Anakin's complaint. "That will give you the
opportunity to handle the translations which don't include words like
Sithspit."
"You mean he's not even human?" Anakin protested, despite knowing he was only
setting himself up for more trouble. Maybe he couldn't actually see the smile,
but he could feel his master's mood lightening even if it was at Anakin's
expense. Unfortunately, Anakin knew the other was not just teasing or making an
idle threat to get a further complaint or surrender from his cheeky padawan. He
really would make Anakin conduct the discussion if this ... librarian turned
out to be a Wookiee.
Anakin had thought Huttese would be the most difficult language to understand,
and in their early days together had even boasted about how quickly he had been
able to master it regardless. That had been one of the first things he had
tried to challenge his master's authority on in an attempt to escape some of
his lessons.
Instead of getting to avoid the standard language classes since he already
spoke a larger variety than did many of his peers, his master had suggested he
tackle the accelerated curriculum since he was so 'wizard' at them, which
involved studying a new language every year. Kashhyk'ka was only the latest he
had undertaken, and he'd been working on trying to master the basic lexicon for
over six months. He knew only twenty or thirty words, or so it seemed by the
many times he failed to be understood by his Wookiee tutor. And it hadn't
mattered when he'd found out that his master didn't speak Kashhyk'ka himself;
he apparently understood it better than even Anakin's tutor, which he
demonstrated by also pointing out the times Anakin got it wrong.
"Actually, I have no idea of his species, Padawan. Nor how old he is," came the
admission. "Or even what language or languages he may understand. Your
humorless Master Koon simply suggested we might benefit from this particular
Jedi's experience when he gave me the briefing for the mission, and I'm not one
who thinks he knows all of the answers."
Anakin scowled. That was another thing that wasn't fair. All of his friends had
masters who were more like parents. Strict, sometimes maybe too strict, but
also wise, solemn ... unsarcastic. His, on the other hand, often treated Anakin
like the best friend of his childhood's older brother had. It wasn't that his
master acted particularly arrogantly, but it did seem like he sometimes
expected too much -
"No more than you are capable of handling, Padawan." There wasn't a hint of
anger in his master's tone, expression or Force aura as the thoughts Anakin had
voiced were contradicted. "And we're here, so you might want to tighten up your
shields before our host also picks up on what you are accusing him - and me -
of."
Absolutely mortified to have been so indiscreet, Anakin blushed as red as a
stupid tourist after spending time under Tatooine's twin suns. "Sorry, Master,"
he quickly apologized. "I didn't mean -"
"I know," was smiled back to him, then his master moved up to the door and
knocked.
Force save him, if he did have a master like all his friends, he'd be doing
chores from now until the sun rose over Coruscant tomorrow. Maybe he did have
the better of the deal in having only to face sarcasm. Even the disappointment,
although the thought of causing that bothered Anakin worse than any chore or
punishment his master had ever devised.
"Come in," they heard in Interlac from the other side of the door. And from a
throat that at least sounded normal - human.
 
***** Chapter 2 *****
2.
He was not Anakin's feared Wookiee. First off he wasn't tall enough despite
standing at least a handful of inches over Obi-Wan. And he certainly wasn't
covered in fur, was in fact clean shaven with hair a sun-streaked sable showing
only a scattering of gray that framed a high forehead and chin before just
brushing his shoulders.
In addition to his imposing height, Obi-Wan was also surprised at this master's
relative youth, apparently only eight or ten years older than Obi-Wan himself.
Usually masters retired from field duties took on such a vocation as Librarian,
and only years later were granted such a position of authority as Senior master
for one of the outlying Temples. Or they were like Bant and Tahl, knights
retired out of active service because of injury or illness.
But Obi-Wan could sense no infirmities in the other, no evidence of any
physical weakness at all - quite the opposite, in fact.
A not so subtle prod by Anakin told Obi-Wan he was staring, although only a
couple of seconds had truly passed. One of the advantages and drawbacks of
having such a close relationship was that his padawan knew his tastes and
interests so very well.
But what was not to stare at?
For all that this was a scholar who stood before him, not only was this master
tall, but he was big in musculature and hands, in the blunt features of his
face. The nose upon which anachronistic glasses were perched had been broken at
least once. The fact that it had never been cosmetically fixed spoke either of
pride or shame, which led Obi-Wan to suspect it had been earned in a fight, not
a simple fall down a set of stairs or something else equally innocuous.
The smile that lit the other Jedi's face as he turned away from an overstuffed
bookshelf, however, did not belong to a brawler -- no missing teeth and too
genuinely meant. Nor did the deep laugh lines around a pair of mesmerizing eyes
even bluer than Anakin's belong to someone who faced down others over the glare
of his saber. Obi-Wan's own stare lines and creases were from too many suns on
too many worlds, from the pleas for help that had brought him and Anakin to
those worlds. Not from laughter.
Were it not for Anakin, Obi-Wan would probably have no laugh lines remaining.
Of course, his padawan was just as responsible for as many of the worry lines
as he was those from joy. And for all of Obi-Wan's own gray hair amidst the
more prevalent ginger.
"This is my Padawan, Anakin Skywalker," Obi-Wan finally had the presence to
say. "And I am -"
"Obi-Wan Kenobi."
The twinkle in his eyes and a hint of a brogue captivated Obi-Wan as much as
the other's openness that he could sense when they exchanged handshakes.
"I was just leaving Medical when the two of you were coming in from your last
mission."
Supposing he could excuse himself for being too concerned at the time with
Anakin's health to have missed anyone else's presence save the Healer who had
needed to pry his grasp from around Ani's arm, Obi-Wan hid a small flutter when
he realized that the other had gone out of his way to find out his name.
"I hope you were not there for an emergency yourself, Master ..." Anakin
quickly filled in the gap caused by Obi-Wan's surprise. And speculation.
"Jinn. Qui-Gon Jinn, actually. And no. I was just there for some basic first
aid supplies." The master shrugged and turned away for a moment, looking in
vain for somewhere to put the papers and books he had begun to clear off the
only other chairs in the room beside the one behind the cluttered desk. "I made
a habit of having a fully stocked kit while living on Solis Four and haven't
gotten used to not needing to be quite so self sufficient here," he finished
over his shoulder, finally resigned to adding the two piles in his hands to two
more which towered precariously against one of the legs of his desk.
Obi-Wan trod not so lightly on Anakin's foot at his padawan's smirk as one of
the stacks began to tumble. He had little doubt Master Jinn had noticed, and
flushed in embarrassment at his padawan's behavior. He hurried forward and
stooped down to help put things back in order. Then flushed deeper when he
touched Master Jinn's hand as they both moved to grab the same book.
Fortunately Master Jinn did not seem anywhere near as flustered, cheerfully
accepting the need for help, then extending a hand to return the favor and help
Obi-Wan up out of his crouch when they were finished.
And not so incidentally, confirming Obi-Wan's impression of concealed strength
and pride of fitness despite a scholarly vocation.
"I've not had many visitors yet," the other Jedi continued, more in explanation
than apology for the state of his office. "I am not even halfway unpacked, and
as you can see, have nowhere near the space I need for all of my things. My
quarters are even worse, or I would just suggest we adjourn to there for our
discussion."
"We could take one of the study rooms," Obi-Wan began.
"Actually, I've had quite enough of the library right now, if you don't mind,"
Master Jinn countered. "I was going to suggest using one of the gardens. I've
not been back to Coruscant since I was a padawan and have had little time to
check out all of the inevitable changes, but I remember loving to wander about
the Starlight and Crystal Garden and was thinking maybe we could head there?"
While Obi-Wan managed to keep close his own reaction to the suggestion, again,
much to his chagrin, his padawan did not.
"Isn't that your favorite garden, too, Master?" Anakin asked in a too cheerful
a voice. "It's nice and secluded, or so I've heard. With many nooks set up for
private ... conversations."
Promising dire revenge with his eyes, Obi-Wan controlled the blush that
threatened, but not a quick cough. Any student of behavior would know that
something was going on between the pair, and Master Jinn began to look
troubled, or embarrassed.
"The garden is still there, but the primary usage has changed since you were
here," he quickly explained. "The meetings conducted there are ... well, it is
used for more recreational escapes now," he said even more quickly.
Another brief look at Anakin, who didn't even have the grace to look
uncomfortable, much less repentant.
"Especially by knights or masters who have obnoxious padawans with tendencies
to voyeuristically abuse their training bond," he added more pointedly. While
he wanted to keep his glare on Anakin, Obi-Wan found himself a little too
interested in Master Jinn's reaction not to look that way.
"I see," was all the other said. Yet the look in his eye was almost
speculative, and Obi-Wan felt another flutter rush through his stomach that, no
doubt, Anakin sensed and would tease him about later.
At least his padawan showed enough discretion not to call him on it now. But
that still wasn't going to let him off the hook for his earlier comments.
"I suppose I should have asked for your suggestion first," came Master Jinn's
follow-up, along with a broader smile. "Even though you came to me for my
expertise, so technically I am the host, I must bow to your wisdom and much
more current familiarity of the possibilities here. I leave the choice in what
I am sure are capable hands."
The flutter turned into an entire flock of butterflies. Qui-Gon Jinn was unlike
any scholar or research librarian Obi-Wan had needed consult with in the past.
All too often they were exactly the stolid individuals Anakin had assumed they
would be meeting, being more interested in their books or research than in life
and others. Not that he had met many anyway; it had been his former master's
task to meet with such individuals when they'd still been together as master
and padawan, Mace knowing all too well that few of scholarly masters cared to
have youngsters underfoot who might question or insufficiently appreciate their
expertise.
"If you want gardens or at least an outdoor setting, there are a few good spots
in the Arboretum midlevel in the Contemplation Tower that might work for our
purpose. Otherwise, I do still have one of the small training salles reserved
for later today that I've had no chance to cancel," Obi-Wan offered, but
silently questioning why he even brought the last up. Yes, he and Anakin often
conducted mission briefings over locked sabers, but again, that had been
something he picked up from Mace Windu when he'd been a padawan, and was not a
common Jedi practice. Especially not for a scholar, he assumed.
Master Jinn's face lit up. "That sounds good. The salle would pretty much
guarantee our privacy, and I imagine the Council doesn't want the nature of
what you're after spreading through the rank and file?"
Obi-Wan nodded. Was he just imagining the speculative look in return? Master
Jinn's response was logical, not suggestive, a gentle reminder that this was
about a mission, not a seduction.
"We could even work out, perhaps, instead of just taking advantage of its
isolation?" Master Jinn had returned to the other side of his cluttered desk
and began gathering up some of the papers and a pad, along with two books,
while putting away and shutting off other devices. The eyeglasses were also
removed and set down.
"That wouldn't be distracting?" Obi-Wan had to ask although he was very
interested in seeing what kind of skill this not so ordinary scholar might
exhibit.
A shake of his head. "I'll need to stop by my quarters to change and pick up my
lightsaber, but I could meet you there in say, fifteen minutes?" Looking up
from under the bangs that now slid to partially cover those crystalline eyes,
Master Jinn looked even younger than the forty-five Obi-Wan had first placed
him at.
"T-that would be fine, Mas -"
"Qui-Gon, please. I've neither a padawan in training nor have current duties
for which being called master sounds natural. And even when I did, the title
never felt right coming from a friend."
This time the flutter didn't disappear no matter what Obi-Wan did to try and
control it. Yes, he could see becoming this man's friend. He could see enjoying
very much becoming Qui-Gon Jinn's friend.
"We will be in salle 17-B, level 34, then, Qui-Gon," he managed to get out.
******
Anakin had not missed any of the by-play between his master and Master Jinn.
When he was younger, he might have resented having to give up any of his time
sparring with his master to another, especially in the course of a mission
briefing. But he had a feeling watching the two of them was going to be even
more fun than working sabers with or against his master. He hadn't needed any
connection to the Force to see the attraction building between the two, yet
found it fascinating to watch and study through his Force-sight anyway, in part
because this was a something he'd never really seen from his master before.
Within the Force, Master Jinn was an element like water. A lake - no an ocean.
Huge and still on the surface, but with tremendous depths and life teeming
below. Anakin had no doubt this master would be dangerous when riled up, a
challenge or threat to the unwary.
His master was water, too, but more like a stream, all quicksilver movements
and bright reflections of light. Nurturing, but more for individuals than
Master Jinn's undoubted ability to calm the masses with his mere presence. His
master also had hidden depths, hidden dangers, seemingly easy and conforming to
the path laid out before him, but wild and unfettered within his heart. No one
challenged the Jedi tenets and Council as much as his master, not so much in
Anakin's mind because his master chaffed at the restrictions, but because it
was his life task to forge paths out of nothingness.
Which had made it interesting to be his padawan over the years.
For himself, Anakin was more like fire. All potential except when something set
off a spark, then whoosh. But even that was quick, destructive yet containable,
or at least controllable. From the first and for now, it was his master who
gave him his control. But Anakin knew that was only until he learned to control
himself, that his master had the utmost faith that he would be able one day to
control himself.
Unlike some of the others, including a few on the High Council.
And although it was well within his power, never once had his master tried to
put Anakin's fire out.
For that and so many other things, his master would always have Anakin's thanks
and love. Along with the hope that his master might one day find someone who
could give him more than a friend's companionship. Yes Anakin knew his master
had used the Starlight and Crystal Gardens a time or two, but never for more
than a casual coupling and, despite his implication, never without Anakin's
full awareness, though the teen had never watched, mentally or physically.
From the start his master had made it clear that no one was more important to
him than Anakin. That no one would ever be, at least not until Anakin became a
knight and broke the training bond between them himself. No one -- including
lovers.
It had taken time for Anakin to get over his guilt in this knowledge.
He had finally decided it was because his master's own bond with Master Windu
had been severed so abruptly. Even now, Anakin knew the other sometimes doubted
his abilities not only as a teacher, but as a Jedi. It had to be hard for his
Master to stand by his convictions in the face of censure from the Council or
his peers; it was hard enough for Anakin to stand by and observe it as it
happened. Plus, having been saddled so young with the responsibility for
another, and during a time when his master should have been discovering his own
path ... Anakin wasn't sure how he had not only managed, but managed well,
despite working with him, who so many of the others deemed untrainable.
A couple of years ago Anakin had determined that not only would he make the
others take back their words against the two of them, but that he would be the
one who eventually helped his master find his way and his heart again. At the
time he had been in the throws of a massive crush, not to mention dealing with
his own rapidly increasing interest in sex. And he had thought his physical
growth spurt was mirrored by an emotional one. So he had sought out some of his
and his master's friends to try and find out how to go about seducing him.
It could have gone so wrong. Considering how young and stupid he still was,
Anakin didn't like to think about how foolish he had been then. But he had been
fortunate his first choice in asking had been Bant. Being of an amphibious
species, she and his master were not sexually compatible, but that had not
stopped them from becoming best friends. Or stopped her from also becoming
Anakin's friend.
It had been Bant who had told Anakin that his master had lost not only his
master, but also one of his closest friends, Garen Muln during that time. And
even worse, he had lost his lover of several years only a month before Naboo.
That what should have been a relatively simple trade negotiation had been so
chosen to help his master get past Bruck Chun's death. Before Bant's quiet
words, Anakin had never heard of a padawan named Bruck Chun, had frankly never
known his master had ever been in love. And in that moment, Anakin realized
that even if he had somehow managed to be convincing that he was no longer a
child, his master might never be able to see him without also seeing everything
he had lost at the time of their meeting.
That realization had hurt. And Anakin had cried. But then realized he was more
crying for his master's losses than for his own, for he had only lost what was
likely an unrealistic fantasy. He still had his master's protection and love -
- knew would never completely lose that even if he somehow turned to the Dark.
That closeness was more than enough.
But he kept hold of his vows. Only now it was not out of vengeance but
acceptance that he wanted the others to recognize his and his master's
accomplishments. Just as Anakin now knew it was up to him to convince his
master that his heart was big enough to love someone else in addition to his
padawan.
But was Qui-Gon Jinn a likely candidate?
From where Anakin watched as the other removed his robe and joined him and his
master in first form katas, the answer was more yes than no so far. The
physical attraction was obvious, even more so in now seeing the grace in which
the bigger man moved. Anakin himself might have been attracted, had Master Jinn
not been well over twice his age, not to mention how messed up such an interest
could make his and his master's relationship.
Not that he wouldn't be above teasing his master about the possibility
regardless.
If he showed a slight interest, not only might it suggest to his master that
Master Jinn was worth pursuing, but Anakin would have the added bonus of
driving his master crazy with worry. Even though he was now seventeen and had
taken all the reproduction and sexuality courses, had the almost prerequisite
crush on his master, and had endured The Talk, Anakin knew the other was still
having trouble coming to terms with his thinking about becoming sexually
active. It was actually kind of nice to have something that his master wasn't
completely able to trust him about, even if this was a tacky way to have
someone still looking out for him. Normally he wanted to be treated as the
adult his master usually saw him as, but sometimes the more he was trusted to
be able to take care of himself, the more he wanted to be a kid. To be able to
make mistakes and know that someone would take responsibility for his actions.
Who would love him anyway.
"How would you like to begin this?" Master Jinn asked as they completed the
warm up forms. "Continue with the formal katas, or were you thinking of some
actual sparring?"
Anakin grinned at the look his master shot his way first, and nodded to what he
figured was on his master's mind. You could learn quite a bit about another
Jedi in watching the way he fought or defended himself.
"Sparring would be fine," his master said as he rolled his shoulders to stay
loose. "I wouldn't mind starting by defending against the two of you, at least
until we get a better measure of each other."
Master Jinn's eyebrow rose, but he only looked thoughtful instead of
questioning the potential arrogance that statement had implied. "As you wish."
"My master has been the singles champion for the last five years," Anakin
offered conspiratorially as he took position next to the older master and
across from his own.
"And the two of you in pairs competition?" Master Jinn asked as the three of
them bowed formally in acknowledgement of what was to happen.
"Semi finals only, and not always that," came his master's laugh as he twisted
away from Anakin's first feint then flipped bodily over both Anakin and Master
Jinn. "Between his growth spurts and erratic Force control, we're lucky we
don't take each other out instead of our opponents when we work together."
Again his master twisted, and ducked, avoiding the green and yellow-white
blades that came toward him.
"So you've put me at a disadvantage instead of taking it easy on a stranger,"
Master Jinn laughed back. He neatly blocked Master Obi-Wan's first aggressive
move and pushed him back toward Anakin. But his master was then airborne again,
leaving Anakin to slash only at emptiness.
"Are you kidding? You out-mass me by at least twenty kilos and outreach me by
13 centimeters. I have to maintain some sort of edge."
"Hey, you're both making it sound like I am a liability!" Anakin protested.
"Yep," came the grin. His master let Master Jinn bind his blade for a second,
then dove under Anakin's outstretched riposte, dropping down to the mat and
rolling over his shoulder. The escape from Anakin was easy, but Master Jinn had
anticipated his position on rising, and was waiting.
Instead of trying again to rise, his master twisted away from the blade of
green, then swept out with his feet. Master Jinn just jumped above the scything
movement and swung out with his blade. Again his master dodged and this time
used his momentum to gain his footing. Only to again find Master Jinn in
position to attack. Anakin found himself backing away at this point, content -
- intrigued -- to watch instead of participating.
Oh how he loved to watch his master fight. His first extended memory of his
master had been on Naboo, seeing the two Jedi go up against the Sith that
ultimately killed Master Windu. It had been such a revelation, and had played
upon Anakin's dreams to become a Jedi even more than had the thought of being
free.
Anakin had known even then that Jedi were not all about fighting, were never
just about killing. But there had been something almost spiritual in watching
the battle between then Padawan Obi-Wan and the red and black, horned creature;
all the more a monster for how human he was despite the visual trappings of a
Sith. There had also been something terribly satisfying about that battle's
conclusion. That particular moment had been the first time Anakin understood
what his then unidentified Force-sight had been showing him throughout his
childhood, the first time he could really see the difference between the Light
and Dark that imbued all aspects of life.
He'd been able to see and understand that his master had not killed the Sith to
revenge his own master's death, that both Jedi had been fighting to protect
Anakin -- and the people of Naboo. And his master had been near perfect in
doing it, connected in body and spirit, the Force about him actually glowing to
Anakin's eyes. It had only been later that Anakin realized he would have been
the only one able to see the glowing light that defended against the soul-
stealing shadow, had been the only one to actually witness the struggle as
those the Jedi had come to protect had had their own battles to fight and
survive. Not even Master Windu, by dying the instant the Sith's blade had
pierced his heart, had been witness to his padawan proving his ability to
become a knight.
Five more times since that first battle, Anakin had seen his master light his
blade for something other than practice or competition. The last time had been
only a week previous, when Anakin's own prejudice led their mission to end
disastrously.
In the first couple of years of their master/padawan relationship, the Council
had kept the two of them close to home, allowing his master the time to provide
the grounding in the Force that Anakin had missed by never being an initiate.
Even when they started taking on missions, most had been of the diplomatic
variety, in part because knowledge of the thousand upon thousands of worlds
comprising the Republic was another one of Anakin's weaknesses. He had grown up
in the lawlessness of the Outer Rim, well versed in the overt maneuverings of a
variety of species, but quite ignorant in the more subtle battles of
politicians.
Anakin knew it must have galled the Council to not be able to send one of their
best warriors out against those determined to disrupt the Light. Many of the
disagreements his master and the Council had gotten into during that time were
likely so related. Anakin suspected even his master occasionally resented not
being used to his best capabilities, otherwise why would he have acquiesced to
so many solo missions as soon as his padawan was old enough to look after
himself for a few days?
It had shocked Anakin to learn the Council had actually been holding those
missions for his master, instead of sending someone else. The only types of
mission that could so wait upon a particular knight's schedule were those
concerning mere rumors of the Sith or other Dark Jedi. But Anakin hadn't
questioned the extra days the missions sometimes took despite Council
assurances up front, not until he had needed to go to Medical for what turned
out to be appendicitis. And discovered his master floating in a bacta tube,
recovering from injuries when Anakin hadn't even been told he was home.
That had resulted in the first and so far only real argument between the two of
them. An argument that sent half of the Council into apoplectic fits as Anakin
lost control not only of his temper, but also of his power. Talk about a
whoosh! For some, Anakin's near meltdown was proof positive of what they had
been saying all along: he was too dangerous to train to become a Jedi.
Anakin had been all but expelled, supposedly for attacking his master, but in
truth because of his potential to do so much more. Then his master had quietly
pointed out that he had been able to contain all but the mildest of physical
destruction Anakin's Force explosion had caused. And that such an explosion
would never have happened in the first place, if the Council hadn't insisted he
keep secrets from his padawan. To this day Anakin was not sure if the Council
had backed down because they believed his master's words, or just because they
had gotten caught encouraging lies.
The incident hadn't made either of them too popular with the Council over the
next few months, but their subsequent success rate on missions couldn't be
argued with, nor could Anakin's quantifiable improvement in those few months
not only in his ability to control the Force, but also in his studies. While
Anakin had no doubt those on the Council would never forget or forgive the
incident -- that they were still only waiting for the time he would completely
lose control, perhaps during a time when his master wasn't present -- for the
most part, the second-guessing had finally been left behind.
"Anakin!"
Oops.
While his master wasn't angry, neither was he particularly pleased to see his
padawan woolgathering and caught in rapt appreciation of the battle when he was
supposed to be participating. Anakin ducked his head in embarrassment, and then
stepped forward.
Master Jinn was good, much better than a scholar had any right to be. Anakin
quickly fell into an easy rhythm with the older Jedi and they were beginning to
work in proper tandem, although his master still managed to block, evade or
turn back most of the blows. Anakin, of course, was nowhere near as clumsy as
his master had led Master Jinn to believe; sparring against the best fighter in
the Order had by necessity made Anakin a pretty good fighter himself. Not to
mention that he was pretty intimately familiar with his master's style and so
could predict the other's moves, even if he couldn't always counter them.
Now back to the three of them, the fight began to speed up instead of slow
down. They began drawing a little on the Force for stamina, strength or
flexibility. Anakin had a moment's regret that they had chosen to do this in a
private room; he could feel himself - could feel all three of them -- coming
closer to that edge of perfection, to that point a Jedi could sometimes reach
where he was in tune not only with himself and the Force, but with the entire
universe. If any one the Council could see them now, they would never need fear
that his master couldn't handle his padawan, or that said padawan would turn to
the Dark. But on the other hand, such moments were so very rare, so very
intimate, and perhaps something Anakin didn't want to share with any but those
who were helping create it.
For a few seconds time stood still.
Swathes of color suspended themselves in the spaces around them; the arcs their
blades had made, the paths their blades would yet be making. And sounds hung in
painful clarity, the buzz of feedback when their blades clashed, the harsh
exhalations of breaths, of boots slapping against the floor, all played in
counterpoint to the deep thrumming of his pulse, of the blood that beat in
Anakin's veins and powered his heart.
He could not only hear the blood as it rushed through his veins, but also feel
its ebb and flow. Along with the slide of damp linen against his sweat-slicked
skin, the flow of air across each and every hair, the solid comfort and weight
of the saber hilt in his hand. Every nerve ending was firing and Anakin felt
more alive than he ever had before.
Even the smells were sharper. The tang of his own sweat and the musk of the
other two brought forth sense or Force memories of others who had sparred in
this room. Anakin could smell his own excitement, his master's contentment and
Master Jinn's quiet pleasure. He could taste love and lust, the Light that
glowed through each of them until he thought he would burst from all of the
overwhelming sensations. He was fire, and water, twisting along the air,
grounded in the earth, but above all imbued with the spirit of the Force.
Another second and Anakin would have exploded, or fainted, or simply let
himself dissolve into infinity. All of his master's words about death and
becoming one with the Force suddenly came back to Anakin. He finally understood
-- could believe. And could accept.
And with that enlightenment, the moment passed.
Without thinking about it Anakin stepped back and extinguished his blade, only
then realizing that so had his master and Master Jinn.
In the next instant he found himself swept up within his master's arms in a
fierce hug.
*Are you well, Ani?*
*M-master?*
Anakin knew he had not said the words, had not heard his master, because the
other was instead agreeing to Master Jinn's suggestion of another kata, lest
any of them stiffen up or pull something for ending so quickly and at the peak
of the physical efforts. But Anakin did not have a deep enough bond to sense
his master's thoughts. Sometimes he could barely even pick up on surface
emotions!
*Things change, Padawan.*
*And all things are possible in the Force,* he finished one of his master's
favorite sayings. But still Anakin's mind was awhirl with wonder. He had heard
about masters and padawans who could bond this deeply, but generally such
closeness came between older Jedi, those bonded in ways other than for
training.
*You needed only to believe. But now you need to get your butt back over here
and join us for the cool down exercises. I promise, I am not going to be
sympathetic if you wake up tomorrow too stiff to get out of your bed. Or too
crippled to handle the cockpit controls.*
*Yes, Master! *
Although he still had a million questions, a few of which he promised himself
he would ask, Anakin let himself become distracted by the kata, and by the
questions and answers his master and Master Jinn began to exchange about the
mission. It was only once his master was answering a question back the climate
of the place they were heading off to that Anakin broke off his silent
contemplation, marveling that he could do so both vocally and mentally.
"Rain, Master?" *Please tell me that where we are going is not like Dagobah!*
"I am afraid you are going to find yourself wishing for Dagobah," came in
answer to Anakin's silent plea out loud. His master then turned his head toward
the other master, incorporating the movement into the flow of what they were
doing. "Ani is a desert brat," was explained. "He got over his initial
fascination with water after two months of training on Mon Calamari. And over
his appreciation of landscape other than sand after a week on Dagobah."
"The upcoming mission is for?"
"Erinne."
"Ah," the elder nodded wisely. "Near freezing rain and bogs instead of heated
and fetid swamps. Which continent?" Master Jinn continued his question, barely
needing to move out of his own routine to correct Anakin as he stumbled in
dismay from what the others were saying.
"Stofelis. And they are just about to start their six month winter."
Anakin wasn't sure if the look his master shot him was displeasure for his
falling out of the rhythm of the kata, or just barely concealed amusement.
"Oh, that's bad," came from Master Jinn. "Rain and bogs and the potential for
snow."
"I am not liking the sound of this, Master," Anakin finally spoke up, liking
even less the feeling that both of the others were now gently laughing at him.
"How much snow?"
A shrug was added into his master's almost hypnotic arm movements. "Lets just
hope the mission doesn't last so long we are snowed in."
"What!"
This time his master went ahead and laughed. "Okay, it never gets as bad as
Hoth. But you will need to prepare for a few nights that you might not be able
to tell the difference. And even if we beat the snow's arrival, the rain is not
likely to stop the entire time we are there." He finally let a bit of sympathy
show; or maybe just his own distaste.
In truth, his master liked snow little more than Anakin did.
"Erinne is rumored to be like one of the Corellian worlds," Master Jinn joined
in. "Either it was moved sometime in its history, or it is fully artificial.
Its orbit is just on the near edge of the habitable band around its sun. And it
is small. So the days are short, and because of the constant cloud cover, the
sun's rays barely penetrate the atmosphere, leaving it in perpetual twilight. I
believe I remember that the sentient inhabitants keep to the Senate schedule of
time regardless of their own orbital cues. So their day encompasses two
nights?"
His master nodded.
"Sounds like the perfect place to find either a Sith stronghold or a ghost."
The older Jedi suddenly grinned. "I think I should like to come along, if a
third wouldn't be intruding?"
Both Anakin and his master stopped their kata to look over at Master Jinn.
"Even knowing how awful the climate is?" Anakin had to ask. Why would anyone
volunteer to go to such a horrible place if he wasn't asked?
... Oh.
"I would certainly appreciate having your expertise at hand instead of trying
to cram all of your knowledge into the brief, but are you sure?" his master
asked. "Forgive me for saying, but this isn't likely to be a comfortable
mission, even if the rumors about a Sith's presence are unsubstantiated." He
made a vague gesture to encompass the Temple beyond their walls. "Your
readjustment to Coruscant and your research -"
"I have always preferred to conduct research in the field," came Master Jinn's
reassurance as he headed toward the towels and water bottles. "As for settling
on Coruscant, I will probably never finish unpacking before I relocate or am
relocated again. I only came back because the Council made the suggestion."
A sudden smile. *This is okay, then, isn't it Ani? You don't mind if Qui-Gon
joins us on the mission?* Obi-Wan asked, but silently because he was mopping
the sweat off his face so any words would have been muffled anyway.
Or maybe it was so as not to put Anakin in a position of having to agree or
disagree and perhaps give insult.
*I guess he proved here that we wouldn't have to watch out for him,* Anakin
began, tentative both for the form of communicating and in forming opinions
about someone he had just met. *I do like him, and know that you do too --*
*Ani!* came the sharp warning.
Oops. There was a down side in this type of communication. He would have to do
better in shielding, since this seemed to lay his inner thoughts open to his
master along with his intended ones.
*I do not see that he would be in the way, Master,* Anakin tried again, this
time more formally. *It could even be a push from the Force that led him to
offer, and so it would be unwise to turn away his help.*
For the first time since they'd paired together, Anakin could actually follow
the way his master contemplated that thought through the Force.
He often noticed when his master seemed to be looking into the future, but had
never really understood how it was done; his own skills didn't seem to lie in
that direction.
At least not yet.
Even now he couldn't really follow what was being done. But Anakin did have a
better idea now of the how. And he could vaguely see the possible consequences
to the mission, could see potential relationships spreading out in a tangled
maze of glowing lines. He had no idea of how to untangle the lines, or how to
determine which paths were more likely to be real and, thereby, read how an
action would end. He could sense when his master got his answer, however, and
had to smile as he finished untangling his braid to prepare for his shower.
They were going to have company on their mission.
"I suppose I should run it by Master Koon since he gave us the mission, but we
would be happy to have you along if it is approved, Ma - Qui-Gon," his master
finally said as he tossed his now damp towel around his neck. "If it is not too
much trouble, we have a launch window already scheduled for 0414 hours."
Anakin groaned. So that was what his master had been arranging while they were
waiting for Master Jinn to meet them in the salle. He should have known, of
course. It had even been his suggestion that they launch early when they used
the Udan Orr. The concentration needed to pilot the ship through the initial
stages of departure overcame being tired, and the earliness made it easy for
the other to either head back to sleep or pass the first few hours in
meditation.
For all that he had been a slave for nine years, getting up that early was
something Anakin would never get use to.
Ignoring the looks of amusement both adults now leveled his way, Anakin also
shut out his master's gentle mental chiding. He supposed he should be a bit
more careful; he was not exactly putting on his best for the other master,
despite how unassuming Master Jinn seemed to be about rank and protocols. And
he certainly did not want to give yet another Jedi a reason to fault his master
for how his padawan behaved in public.
*You are behaving fine, Padawan,* came warmly from his master. *I would not
know who you were if you didn't complain about something,* followed more dryly,
for all that it was without spoken inflection.
Then Anakin was flooded with a burst of love that overwhelmed any resentment he
might have held for being overheard, or any fear of the resentment that had
prompted the reassurance in the first place.
*I don't care what the other masters think. You have never disappointed or
embarrassed me when it mattered. I would much rather have an honest, if vocal,
padawan than someone who was too afraid of me to speak his own mind.*
Anakin tried to gather up all of his own love and other feelings for his master
and pass them back through their new link. He knew he had succeeded when the
other nearly tripped. He hid his smile in seeing Master Jinn instantly reach
out to steady his master, and when the older man didn't immediately remove his
hand. Obviously Master Jinn was not shy in offering aid, nor as restrained as
his master when it came to things like touching. Even for something innocent.
Between Anakin's vow and Master Jinn's apparent willingness, his master didn't
stand a chance.
******
As Qui-Gon watched master and padawan take their leave to return to their own
quarters, he couldn't help but compare their relationship to the one he had had
with his own padawan. Obi-Wan and Anakin were much more comfortable with each
other's presence, much more willing to tease and show affection than he and
Xanatos had ever been. Part of it, Qui-Gon knew, stemmed from the relatively
few years difference in the ages between the two. Yet he and Xan had only been
fifteen years apart, and he doubted Anakin and Obi-Wan were much less than
that. Perhaps it was because Obi-Wan had been proclaimed a knight several years
earlier than Qui-Gon had been when he had won the accolade himself. Certainly
something seemed to have kept him from taking on the all too humorless,
authoritarian attitudes so many other masters seemed to embrace upon choosing
their first padawan.
The type of master Qui-Gon had found himself becoming as he had stayed on Solus
Four, although it had only been after Xanatos had become a knight that he
seemed to have lost his ... enthusiasm.
He had taken Xanatos as his padawan when he'd been Obi-Wan's probable current
age, having spent eight years on his own as a knight before feeling he was
ready for the responsibility for training someone else. So he had had a chance
to sow his wild oats and get all of those youthful indiscretions out of his
system. To him becoming a master had meant growing up, taking responsibility
and offering guidance and discipline, but not really the love that seemed
evident between Obi-Wan and Anakin.
Of course, Xanatos had been just as formal, had appreciated the relationship
between them being only that of teacher to student, instead of something more
akin to friendship. Qui-Gon hadn't thought anything of it at the time. That was
how most masters and padawans in his experience interacted. He had enjoyed the
relationship, but it had been duty more than desire, and that was probably why
he was in no hurry to find another to train.
But to train someone as engaging as Anakin Skywalker ...
The moment of deeper bonding between Obi-Wan and Anakin was even harder to
fathom than their easy affection. A bond he had somehow become a part of. Again
his own bond with Xanatos had never been close enough to allow the type of
rapport those two seemed suddenly able to share. Qui-Gon could only imagine the
revulsion Xanatos would have felt to be so exposed to another, even his master.
Nowhere could he imagine Xanatos with the same expression of wonder and
delight.
Yes, Anakin was quite different from any other Jedi Padawan Qui-Gon had known.
First there was the powerhouse of Force energy the teenager could barely keep
in check. Add to that the seemingly different attitudes and understanding of
not only the Force, but the Temple life and being a Jedi. The way Obi-Wan had
casually mentioned Anakin's dislike of rain and cold, that he had gone so far
as to call the youth a desert brat, spoke of more than just a genetic
disposition to preferring warmer climes. Anakin's reactions were those of
someone raised, not just born in a desert environment, of living there during
his initiate years instead of on Coruscant.
But there were few enclaves beyond Coruscant or Alderaan set up for raising and
training initiates; none on a desert world or continent that Qui-Gon could
recall. Nor was it common to be relocated from one Temple to another, unless
dire circumstances propelled such an action. It was also rare for a knight or
master from one Temple to chose a padawan from another, as there were generally
not even enough local candidates for their own resident, aspiring teachers. So
inclined knights and masters often needed to come to one of the main temples
for a padawan, not the other way around.
There was obviously a story here, and something Qui-Gon thought perhaps he
should check into before their early morning departure, though he couldn't
imagine finding out anything that would have him change his mind in wanting to
assist them.
This certainly wouldn't be his first trip with another Jedi that he knew little
about. And it also wasn't as if he needed to particularly worry; not as he
might have in working in such ignorance with a civilian. There were certain
common aspects of training and philosophy standard amongst all Jedi, whether
they operated out of Coruscant and under the Council's dictates, or lived in
one of the outer sectors, answering only to themselves and the Force. Qui-Gon
knew his position on this mission would be as support to Knight Kenobi. That
had been obvious even before he had offered, even before he had seen the other
fight.
Obi-Wan Kenobi was a born leader, inspiring trust and exuding confidence and
competence. While all the reasons he had given them had been valid as to why he
would have no trouble leaving Coruscant, the simple truth of the matter was
that Qui-Gon wanted to get to know the knight better. And he didn't want to
have to wait for Obi-Wan to return from the mission in order to do just that.
But he also couldn't deny that there was a glimmer of something else, a hint of
excitement or danger about the mission itself that called to Qui-Gon almost as
strongly as did Obi-Wan's allure. Maybe not an actual suggestion from the
Force, but Qui-Gon had learned early on not to ignore such a feeling
regardless. Answering such a Force inspired call had led him to incredible
discoveries, had enabled him to return to the Jedi some of the wondrous
artifacts of antiquity, and testaments of their Order's origins. That it had
occasionally led him into danger quite beyond what was normally considered for
a scholar -- and that it might yet again -- wasn't important.
Other than lending a little more spice to his otherwise commonplace life.
***** Chapter 3 *****
3.
Qui-Gon made sure he was crossing over the threshold into the docking bay a
good half hour before their departure time. Although dressed in standard Jedi
tunics, leggings and boots, he had folded his robe into the small carryall he
preferred to travel with, not only because the voluminous covering often got in
the way aboard ship, but because by not wearing it, he could wear instead an
old, beat up flight jacket. Patches covered the leather, some just to keep it
repaired, but some also designated his ratings and guild ranking as a pilot.
More than once he had found it useful for contracted civilians to realize they
were dealing with one of their own.
Not that Qui-Gon figured Obi-Wan would really need any help dealing with
outsiders; no doubt the knight could charm a free ride out of a Corellian
smuggler. But Qui-Gon's presence still might help.
Or so he was hoping.
But the ship that loomed before him was not a guild charter, was not a charter
at all, or so he had to surmise in seeing a pair of recognizable leggings and
boots sticking out from under an open hatch. Only Jedi mechanics worked on Jedi
ships. Which also meant there would be a Jedi pilot.
Qui-Gon undampened his presence within the Force so the Jedi might know he was
there without being startled into damaging ship or self.
"Be just another minute," came a muffled voice that he had little trouble
determining belonged to Obi-Wan.
Qui-Gon let his stride eat up the distance between them and took advantage of
the opportunity presented. During their workout yesterday he'd had a few
chances to look over his companions, but had not wanted to get caught staring
and so had been discreet. Now he could indulge himself, if only for a few
moments longer. And if only at Obi-Wan's legs.
Such limited viewing was hardly a problem, however; the legs tightly encased
within standard Jedi leggings and boots were quite nice to look at. Though
small overall in height and breadth, this younger knight was at the peak of his
physical abilities, as evidenced both in the moves he had exhibited the day
before and in the obvious care he took of his body. Obi-Wan wasn't perhaps as
spare as Qui-Gon's padawan had been; they both carried close to the same weight
he estimated, yet Xanatos had a couple of inches on Obi-Wan. But Obi-Wan was
more finely muscled. Obviously the knight had a much more active life in the
field than he and Xan had had.
Both younger men also had a sleekness quite at odds with Qui-Gon's own
oversized body. And moved with a much better body awareness. Qui-Gon had worked
hard to try and develop some of the same grace his padawan had been blessed
with, but knew he would always work more from strength than finesse. Qui-Gon
could imagine he and Obi-Wan might also work well together, similarly covering
each other's weaknesses, but certainly hoped not to have to find out if that
would be true.
Qui-Gon found his gaze moving up to Obi-Wan's slender hips just as the knight
closed up the panel and began wriggling his way out from under the belly of the
ship. Though the other did not seem to be using his body to entice -- at least
not deliberately - Qui-Gon could not deny being attracted to it. He quickly
maneuvered his travel bag to cover his body's response to that attraction.
He then extended his free hand in an offer of assistance but Obi-Wan declined
and simply sprang up with a shoulder spring, and waved his blackened hands.
"While I appreciate the offer, it's bad enough trying to get this stuff off
skin, Master Jinn. Once it gets on cloth, it doesn't come out."
"Sounds like Arcathian mud," Qui-Gon responded, letting his grin grow to match.
"And, of course, it is only those things we are most comfortable wearing that
end up getting so marked."
"So we cannot wear them, but in private," Obi-Wan nodded. His sparkling eyes
followed Qui-Gon's without embarrassment to look down at the shirt he wore
instead of his uniform's tunic. It was heavily streaked, though few of the
stains were from today, and worn almost completely through at elbows and across
his shoulder blades. No doubt the most comfortable thing the knight had in his
closet.
"I'll try not to offend your sensibilities and sense of proprietary any longer
than I must, Master," came out more formally, but laughter still lit Obi-Wan's
beautiful, mercurial eyes into some color between green and blue. "I did intend
to change before your arrival."
"Don't go to the trouble on my account." Now that the other moved out of the
shadows thrown down by the sleek, little ship's wing, Qui-Gon could see the
shirt was thin in a few more places than just the obvious ones. He quickly
wrested his attention back to Obi-Wan's face, glad to see that his wandering
focus was not being particularly noted.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
Without the same consideration he had shown Qui-Gon, in truth probably without
much thought at all, Obi-Wan pushed back a few of the damp tendrils of hair
that had fallen and shook his head. Black grease immediately darkened the
ginger-colored strands and forehead, making Qui-Gon's fingers itch to smooth it
clean.
"No, everything is fine and ready to go." Again Obi-Wan seemed oblivious to the
effect he was having on Qui-Gon. But that didn't keep Qui-Gon from tightening
up his shields and reaching for a bit more control. This was about a mission,
not his libido.
"One of Ani's readings showed something off in his pre-flight checks so I
figured I'd better make sure," Obi-Wan continued to explain. "But the glitch
turns out to be in the sensor, not the system, so we are good to go as soon as
we get your things and yourself stored on board."
He looked so closely at the case Qui-Gon was holding protectively in front that
the Jedi Master feared he might have given himself away despite everything he
was doing to maintain some sense of propriety.
But Obi-Wan simply asked, "Is that all you are bringing?"
Qui-Gon nodded. "I've always preferred to travel light and buy things from the
community I'm visiting if I need something else. I have found beings more
friendly if you are willing to aid their local economy instead of being too
self-sufficient. Or even worse, expecting them to give you what you need for
free."
"That's not a bad way of going about it," Obi-Wan agreed, leading the way to
the boarding ramp. "I've dealt with a lot of folks who felt their goods were
somehow inferior just because they weren't manufactured on Coruscant, or who
assumed Jedi were too arrogant or insular to use something native. And a few
Jedi who gave them reason to think such," he muttered under his breath. "Have
you suggested this idea to the High or Allocation Councils?" Obi-Wan asked over
his shoulder with a genial smile. "It probably should be the practice of all
Jedi in the field, when practical. It really might help people get over
thinking we are unapproachable ..."
Qui-Gon stopped. Although Obi-Wan had turned his head to ask his question, he
had not waited for Qui-Gon's answer before turning back up the entryway. But
the younger knight seemed to then notice he had lost his companion and stopped
at the hatchway.
"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"
Giving himself a quick shake, Qui-Gon started up the ramp himself. "Not really.
You just made mention of the High Council like they had the time to listen to
any Jedi who wanted to talk to them."
It was Obi-Wan's turn to stay unmoving for a few seconds. "But they will," he
began, expression and tone filled with confusion. Abrupt awareness then chased
across his face. "Oh. Again, I apologize, Master Jinn. I feel so comfortable
around you that I had forgotten you've newly arrived, and that you didn't do
much training here on Coruscant. You don't really know any of the Council
members, do you?"
Warmed by the explanation and the regard, Qui-Gon shrugged. "I was introduced
when I first arrived, but I certainly do not know any of them. And this is the
closest I've been to being sent on a mission by them."
"Don't make it sound like an honor," Obi-Wan said dryly, again taking the lead
as Qui-Gon followed him into the ship. "And don't get me wrong, I have
tremendous respect for them. But I really wish they took the time to go into
the field a bit more themselves. They may not be arrogant, but they certainly
are insular, even from the rest of the Jedi. At the very least, they should
take padawans again, just to be reminded that some things are more important
than traditions."
Qui-Gon sensed fondness and amusement without any disrespect in the other's
first words, but as Obi-Wan ended, an air of melancholy seemed to settle around
the knight. He really wished he had been able to take the time for the research
on Obi-Wan and Anakin as he had intended. But he had been less prepared to
leave than he had thought, and had spent most of the night making changes to
his schedule and seeing to the care of his plants during his absence than
researching his traveling companions.
As if Obi-Wan realized his unsettled emotions, he quickly offered a smile that
was only a little forced. "Let's get you stowed."
From the midpoint entry, a landing had openings forward and aft into a corridor
running along the beam of the craft, and a hatchway portside, seven meters
away.
"Aft is a small cargo hold and access to the engines," Obi-Wan pointed left.
"In front of us is the galley with a small, recessed medical bay." He shrugged.
"It's really just storage for supplies, a table and an emergency stasis tube."
Qui-Gon made an appreciative noise as he followed Obi-Wan to the right. Any
sort of medical equipment beyond the basic first aid kit he carried in his
travel case was better than that offered by his usual berths. Even guild ships
were stingy when it came to accommodations for Jedi. Not only were Jedi too
often considered unapproachable, they were also rumored to be invincible, or at
least able to care for themselves. And yes, Jedi usually recovered quicker from
injuries than non-Force sensitives. Some could even heal themselves or others.
But when they got hurt - and it did happen despite their reputations - they
used medicines, treatment and bacta just like anyone else.
"The cockpit is further forward," Obi-Wan continued. Qui-Gon watched the ripple
of muscles across Obi-Wan's back as the knight undogged another door after
first wiping his hands across the already stained shirt. Qui-Gon noted the
depth of the door and seal around the hatch, acknowledging the setup would
contain a hull breach from spreading throughout the entire ship. This was a
very well formed vessel.
Much like its owner.
Obi-Wan had stopped to await Qui-Gon's own passage through the low portal. From
here a faint noise - music? - echoed through the corridor. Qui-Gon watched as
first embarrassment then a frown overtook the knight's face.
"Claim either of the second two cabins here," came the offer, as they continued
forward, passing one door portside but heading toward three more. Obi-Wan now
needed to raise his voice. "Ani's taken the one just aft of the bridge and
mine's the first we passed." He gave Qui-Gon an apologetic look as his last
words were nearly a yell, gestured again toward the middle two doors, then took
off at a jog toward the cockpit.
The hatchway into the cockpit had already been undogged, but hung mostly
closed. A near solid wall of sound blasted through the corridor when Obi-Wan
pushed it further open.
"Anakin Skywalker!"
Whether Qui-Gon had heard it vocally or only through the Force, obviously
Anakin heard the rebuke also. The noise shut off so quickly that Qui-Gon was
not sure the ringing in his ears in the immediate silence that followed was
from the music or Obi-Wan's shout. Muted sounds followed that were obviously an
exchange of words, then Obi-Wan was coming back through the hatchway, which he
again partially closed.
"I am sorry," he apologized upon rejoining Qui-Gon. "When Anakin gets into a
cockpit, he pretty much goes on automatic. And we are unused to having
passengers with us."
Qui-Gon had wanted to touch Obi-Wan again ever since they had shaken hands upon
leaving the training salle, so he took the opportunity to squeeze the other's
shoulder in commiseration. "Think nothing of it," he smiled. "While my padawan
was quite unlike Anakin, I, at least, was young once myself."
"Oh, don't say you're old," Obi-Wan complained, then let his head fall back to
twist his neck side to side and loosen his shoulders under Qui-Gon's touch.
"Then I might have to admit that I'm getting old, and my body tells me that
enough without needing further encouragement."
"Not old, just much too tense," Qui-Gon couldn't help but observe.
He had a feeling the laugh he got in return was directed at Obi-Wan himself.
"Although I enjoy piloting, I don't particularly like space flight," Obi-Wan
admitted as he slipped out from underneath Qui-Gon's grip. He then palmed both
empty cabins open so that Qui-Gon could better choose.
"Am I keeping you from duties?" Qui-Gon moved into the third cabin, trying to
tell himself he had not picked it for its closer proximity to Obi-Wan and its
further distance from the other's padawan.
A quick shake of the ginger head. "Nah. Anakin likes to take us out, and there
are so few things in our lives that I can offer to truly make him happy."
"But this ship is actually yours?" Qui-Gon asked, ignoring the common lament of
a Jedi Master.
Beyond the responsibility to the Force and the Order, a master with a padawan
had to be teacher and parent. Some never progressed to friends, even when the
training relationship ended with the padawan achieving knighthood. It was
obvious such was not the case between these two, but Obi-Wan would still be
filling Anakin's days with all manner of study when they were not on a mission.
Few field-active Jedi had time for hobbies or play. Qui-Gon was one of the
lucky ones whose aptitude in academics had led him to a career that would also
have been his chosen hobby. While Obi-Wan was no doubt very good at what he
did, and could derive a certain pleasure in his skill and success as a diplomat
and mediator, few Jedi could ever admit to being happy upon becoming warriors.
"I think of it more as ours, but I suppose it is technically mine," Obi-Wan
answered Qui-Gon's spoken question. "At least that is what the paperwork says."
He gave Qui-Gon an easy grin. "And I do have all of my ratings. I stopped
taking the co-pilot seat on takeoff a couple of years ago, however, when it
became an issue of trust and confidence with Anakin. He's over it now, and I
know my being there doesn't bother him anymore, but I never liked side-seat
pilots, so ..." he shrugged. "We can web up in the galley, or I can leave you
to your bunk here."
Qui-Gon was quite sure he didn't need to go through take-off in private. He
quickly stowed his travel case in the locking cabinet beneath the lower bunk
and moved to follow Obi-Wan back out into the corridor.
"Once we're in flight I'll give you the codes so you can key your door," Obi-
Wan offered.
"I don't need the privacy -"
"But you might."
Qui-Gon managed to keep walking smoothly, an extra blink his only visible
reaction. Surely he had been mistaken in the intent behind that offer?
"Up from the galley is a small weapons pod," Obi-Wan continued with his verbal
tour of the ship. "You might be a little cramped but the chair adjusts now that
Anakin is growing so tall."
Medical bay and weapons pod. This was one little beauty of a ship.
Anakin's voice came over the communications system as Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan took
seats around the six-person table in the galley. "We have clearance from
Coruscant Control, Master."
"Then we'll go in two," Obi-Wan responded into a handheld communicator. To have
used the one on the wall at the entry would mean undoing the restraints and
causing an even longer delay. Qui-Gon was just finishing with securing himself
when Obi-Wan pushed another small comm unit his way.
"It won't be strong enough to get through to the Temple, but it should work
about anywhere planet side once we reach Erinne. And the ship's system can
reach the Temple. Again, I'll give you all the protocols once we get beyond
initial acceleration."
"You don't have to -" Qui-Gon began, quite overwhelmed by all of the trust that
was being exhibited. Even in the four times he had traveled on one of the ships
owned outright by the Order, he had not been given anything but very basic
communication and security codes. Obi-Wan was giving him full access to his
ship.
"The Udan Orr is a small ship, but we're an even smaller crew. If you don't
mind, it'll be nice to have another pilot; the trip to Erinne will take three
full days."
"I will be glad to help anywhere you need me," Qui-Gon said quickly. "But even
so -"
"Look, I know I'm listed as the senior Jedi with regard to the mission
parameters, but I'm not about to let someone of your experience or expertise
just sit on his hands. Anything can happen, especially if there is a Sith at
the end of this. I would feel much better if you had full access. That way, any
of the three of us can get the other two out if it becomes necessary."
There was a coldness to Obi-Wan's tone that Qui-Gon heard only through the
Force. "Is that prescience, Knight Kenobi?"
The other's face grew a bit more shuttered and he shrugged. "Sometimes. Now?"
He shook his head. "I don't know. But I also never take anything for granted on
a mission. Especially when it might involve the Sith."
"How many have you faced?"
For a moment Obi-Wan looked away, but even in profile Qui-Gon could see the
profound sadness. While nothing like the Sith of ancient history, at least in
numbers and direct opposition to the Jedi Order, there had been a growing
number of potential sightings in recent years, not all of them ending in a
Jedi's favor.
"Five," Obi-Wan said softly. "And Anakin only knows of three." The look when he
turned back was obvious enough.
"I won't tell him any differently."
Obi-Wan's answering smile held little humor, but Qui-Gon could read gratitude
in the other's eyes.
"It's not like I want to keep things from him. But he still has nightmares
about the first Sith - Dark take us, I still have nightmares about that Sith!
That one killed my master. And is responsible for Ani becoming my padawan. Ani
only found out about what he thinks was the second I faced by catching me in
Medical when he thought I was still on a mission. The last to him is one he
fought alongside of me. Of course, that one could have just been a fallen Jedi;
she had little of the stink of Sith sorcery about her, though the aura of
Darkness was as bad as any before her."
"So you're the Council's resident Sith Slayer?"
"One of seven." Obi-Wan's sharp, short laugh hurt instead of bringing relief.
"I have the most kills, which impresses the rest a little too much, I fear." He
buried his face in his hands for a moment, and nothing was said for a time as
the warning of imminent take-off chimed. Then, with no override coming from the
knight, the drag of acceleration pulled at their bodies for long, long minutes.
"Sorry," Obi-Wan apologized when the weight finally eased. He lifted his head
and scrubbed at his cheeks to restore the proper flow of blood. "This mission
is coming just a little too soon after our last. No Sith, but I still almost
lost Ani, and I was really hoping to have some time home before having to be
the Council's executioner again."
Qui-Gon was slipping out of his safety harness and had taken a step toward Obi-
Wan before realizing the other might not be easy with the comfort he had wanted
to offer. "Can I make us some tea?" he suggested in place of the contact he
would have preferred.
Obi-Wan flashed him a look that might have been gratitude and nodded. "You've a
variety of choices. There is a kettle with an internal heat pack in the third
cabinet on the left, and sealed water in the right fifth."
Of course the knight had not needed to turn to point or look himself as Qui-Gon
opened the doors he was directed toward. Like any good ship owner, things were
stored where they could consistently be found with a minimum of confusion.
While one did not make tea in the midst of free-fall or combat, one always
wanted to know where items that could harm or save lives were stored. No doubt
little broke loose from this ship in an emergency.
Qui-Gon took the time to explore more of the cabinets while he waited for the
tea to heat. If Obi-Wan was going to trust him with the codes to run the ship,
he would not be begrudged knowing what all was on hand. And at the moment the
knight did not seem particularly inclined to break the silence.
"I'll take a thermos up to Anakin." Qui-Gon brought the first one over to Obi-
Wan.
"Thanks," and before Qui-Gon could step away from the table, Obi-Wan gently
caught at his arm. Sorrow, gratitude and not a little self-directed anger was
present in the face that looked up at him.
Again Qui-Gon found himself wanting to run his fingers over those tight
features, to smooth away the tension. Once upon a time he had been in training
to be a healer; his master accusing him of trying to take on and fix all of the
ills in the galaxy. A few too many disappointments for them both had Qui-Gon
doubting his calling, and had led him into a field of study just about as far
removed from dealing with people as he could get and still call himself a Jedi.
But sometimes he found himself wishing he had taken the other path. Maybe he
could not remove the entire galaxy's pain, but he would very much like to
remove Obi-Wan's.
"After your tea, why don't you try to get a little more sleep," was all that he
offered, though. "I can keep Anakin company if he needs it, and see to any last
minute instructions from the Council if they get sent."
"Don't let Ani keep you trapped up there if you want to rest yourself," came in
return. "He's used to being left alone, as I usually try to get in some
meditation at the start of our flights. But he also loves to talk, and you are
a brand new audience for him."
Qui-Gon smiled. Actually, he was rather hoping for just that from Anakin. He
wouldn't mind listening to Anakin talk for a couple of hours, as long as he
could direct at least some of the topics. Who better to ask about a master, but
that master's padawan?
Hearing someone coming up the deck -- and certain it wouldn't be his master -
- Anakin quickly dropped his feet from where they rested on the console and
grabbed up a data pad with the Force, though he barely had it turned on before
he was no longer alone in the cockpit.
"Master Jinn," he acknowledged.
"Padawan Skywalker. May I join you?"
Anakin grinned and nodded, then accepted the container of -- ugh -- tea that
Master Jinn handed him. He took a sip regardless of his feelings toward the
taste, however, and set the data pad aside without ever having to worry about
what it might have been showing, since it was obvious that the older master was
planning to stay a while.
Instead of feeling intimidated or perturbed as he might have with any number of
other masters he was acquainted with, Anakin found himself welcoming the
opportunity to interact. To study this person his master was showing a more
than duty related interest toward, the first that Anakin could remember. That
interest was probably based on some of the same reasons Anakin wasn't feeling
resentment. So far Master Jinn had actually been friendly instead of
judgmental. It made Anakin wonder if something about Coruscant seemed to
encourage the distant behavior, as if residing too close amongst one another,
and so close to the various Jedi Councils and the Senate, the resident Jedi
forgot that not all of life was about duty and appearances.
Force knew how he hated politics, external or internal.
"I suspect my master wants me to show you the controls and give you a set of
the passwords?" Anakin asked as he observed Master Jinn taking a few moments to
look over the specifics of the ship and cockpit.
Although he nodded, Master Jinn didn't seem exactly comfortable with the idea,
and Anakin had to wonder what that was about. By the jacket the other still
wore, he'd guess that the older master knew how to pilot; Jedi as a rule didn't
use things that rightfully belonged with or on someone else. Well, not unless
they were involved in a mission requiring deep cover. And even then they didn't
usually pick stuff that would so blatantly misdirect the observer. Should a
civilian -- or quarry -- need, as well as expect, the undercover Jedi to be
able to pilot, that Jedi damn well better know how to pilot.
So the unease couldn't be because Master Jinn wasn't confident in his piloting
ability. Or because the other wasn't willing to take his share of the duty;
again the master just wouldn't have bothered to let them know of his skill
unless he was offering it.
Anakin supposed it could be that Master Jinn didn't know how to fly this ship.
It was, after all, a little more than the typical independent pilot would be
able to afford, and not one commonly used by the guilds or trade consortiums.
But even if that was the case, surely the master wouldn't be embarrassed about
having to ask questions? That type of pride was something you were supposed to
grow out of even before reaching knighthood -- even if Anakin despaired that he
ever would.
Oh. Maybe he resented having to be tutored by a mere padawan?
"Ah, I've got first shift as you might have figured out, but I'm sure Master
Obi-Wan will be happy to run over the controls and everything with you a bit
later," he suggested, just in case.
"What? No, I don't mind if you do so now," Master Jinn responded, although he
sounded a bit distracted. The other's focus was on some of the new additions
Anakin had suggested they make to his master's ship, which could mean that
maybe he was familiar with at least the type.
"That is unless your duties preclude taking the time to familiarize me with
everything," the other continued, turning quickly back toward Anakin. "I'm not
too far behind on a rating for this type of ship -- the Mark II version. You
would probably just need to show me any upgrades or non-standard patches you've
installed."
Anakin grinned to see that the other knew enough to figure not all of the
changes were particularly noticeable.
"Sounds good. Right now I've got to keep us out of the major traffic lanes
until we're ready to transition into the first jump corridor, but we can go
over things then. As you might expect, too many of the big guys tend to forget
there might be other ships around them even with the sheer volume of traffic
departing and returning to Coruscant. Master Obi-Wan and I have spent a little
time exploring some of the less common routes. It might take us a little longer
to quit the system, but avoiding that volume of traffic is a good thing, and by
taking off a little earlier, we make up for the changes."
Not that that was the only reason for such an early departure, of course, but
that other reason wasn't his to tell. Which reminded him of his next duty --
"Excuse me a minute, Master Jinn." And Anakin leaned forward to make a few
modifications to the board, then to open up communications. "Prepare for half
gravity in two minutes, Master," he sang out. But then frowned and turned
toward the older master. "Ah, assuming that's okay with you?"
Master Jinn looked a little bemused, but nodded. "I don't want my presence to
disrupt normal ship routine."
"Oh, I'm sure it'll do that, but only in a good way," Anakin laughed. Then
sobered once he realized that he was almost interacting with this master as he
would his own. And that was not something that usually went over very well. But
Master Jinn didn't seem to notice, or at least didn't seem to care, and was now
coming over to slide and strap himself into the co-pilot's chair.
"Your Master was mentioning about some excitement you had in your last
mission?" the older man then asked as he made himself comfortable with the
reduced gravity.
Although no doubt the question was meant to put him at ease, Anakin paused for
a moment and rather wished he could just get into explaining the board and let
that distract them from having a conversation. He used the excuse of tucking
his padawan braid down the back of his tunic from where it had started to float
up to avoid answering the question, but knew he wasn't going to get away with
not talking for too long. And if this master was like most of the others,
trying to deflect the conversation, or out and out refusing to discuss it would
only invite them to badger him until they got what they wanted anyway.
Jedi -- especially padawans -- were not allowed the luxury of keeping memories
or feelings that bothered them to themselves. If there wasn't someone out and
out prodding, they were supposed to be able to meditate about it and release it
into the Force.
When first confronted with this concept, Anakin had simply figured most Jedi
masters were busybodies, gossips or worse. That because they didn't remember
their own parents or family and what it was like to grow up like a normal
person, they figured it was their duty to help counsel -- or discipline -
- anyone else's padawan. He'd eventually learned that part of his assumptions
were correct, that it was their lack of familiarity of the family dynamic that
led to the communal desire to help raise the initiates. But he also learned
that his master had very definite ideas of how best to train and raise Anakin,
and that they didn't always match up with what the other training masters
expected.
He had also learned that sometimes the talking really did help. Especially when
the meditations did not.
"Well, ah, what exactly did Master Obi-Wan say about the mission?" he hedged as
he bowed to the inevitable.
"That he had almost lost you on it, and that he felt this mission was coming a
little too soon after the last." The words were spoken gently, matching the
expression on the other man's face. "Anything I can do to help either of you in
this mission, I hope you will ask."
Anakin let out a breath and cocked his head. "We're both cleared and able to
conduct this mission," he said with a touch of fierceness, knowing that wasn't
what the Jedi Master had been implying, but still feeling the need to make sure
the other wasn't going to challenge his master for the leadership of the
mission.
"Even if I didn't have every confidence in the skill of your healers or in the
wisdom of the Council, I think I can safely say I believe your master would
never do anything willingly to endanger another, either those he's been
assigned to assist, or you, Padawan Skywalker." And still the other's
expression was placid, warm, and not resentful of Anakin's response, even if
the final formality might have been a bit of a challenge itself.
Again he let out a breath, something between a sigh of frustration and of
relief. "It wasn't really that bad of a mission, well, other than it didn't end
successfully and I almost died," he nodded, now willing to try and explain. "I
mean, we've been on some others that our injuries were a lot more than just
physical, you know?"
Okay, even this one had had its share of mental and emotional trauma, but
looking back on it now -- it all seemed pretty trivial. Other than his guilt in
causing the failure and his master so much concern at the time. And even now,
given that his master had mentioned it to the other.
"We were sent as neutral observers to a disagreement on Z'ctanz. It's one of
the Mid-Rim planets," he added, not knowing just how up on Republic worlds an
archeologist or even a librarian would be. "And it wasn't really a disagreement
despite the Senate saying so. It was a war!"
He scrunched his face, and then rubbed it briskly with the heels of his hands
before redirecting his attention for a moment to the board and the course
change he needed make at this stage of their departure.
"We'd been there for almost two weeks and hadn't even met either of the
leaders," he continued, the disgust still present in his tone. "They'd sent
their lieutenants to start some negotiations while they just kept the war -
- the killing - going on." He paused again, this time to try and bring himself
back under control, and also to give Master Jinn chance to say something. But a
quick glance showed him only patience and sympathy, not the interruption or
questions he was half expecting.
"Anyway, as you might imagine, this wasn't making Master Obi-Wan very happy,
but we weren't sure how to put a stop to it. And we were there to make sure the
fighting was being conducted without any atrocities, not actually to end the
damn thing! But then someone let it slip that the natives of the planet weren't
even conducting the war, that most of the troops were off-world mercenaries.
Well, that wasn't at all what the Senate was at least pretending to know, and
gave us a little leeway when one of those natives approached us to maybe do
something. Like maybe making them take the war off planet and kill each other -
- without destroying someone else's way of life."
It had all been so pointless, a matter not of patriotism or even of money, but
of pride. And a callousness toward life, shown not only by the war leaders, but
also in the men they commanded. He and Obi-Wan had been quite sickened about
it, had almost been tempted to just leave them to their pettiness once the
threat of Republic intervention got them to agree to vacate Z'ctanz. But it had
been such a colossal waste of life, and when the opportunity arose to maybe end
the conflict --
"We convinced those fighting that the Republic would send ships if the Senate
found out, which got them off planet. Then, before the war could start up in
space between their ships, we talked the leaders into meeting -- on one of the
small uninhabited, but habitable moons in system. I don't think Master Obi-Wan
figured he'd really be able to mediate an end, but any cease fire would at
least allow the injured to vacate the area, and maybe encourage a few more
desertions." Anakin shrugged. He believed in duty, of course, but even his
master let him speak his own opinions about things.
And killing, just because you were paid to do so, seemed to him a thing of the
Dark.
"The meeting didn't go well?" came Master Jinn's query.
Anakin suspected it wasn't so much a prompt, since he'd been saying this last
bit rather fast and knew he couldn't just leave the story to that. Rather, he
expected the other master was simply giving him yet another moment to gather
back his control, and to offer some sort of support by at least showing a
willingness to still listen even if Anakin's emotions were getting the best of
him.
Using the excuse of looking over the controls again although nothing needed to
be changed, Anakin even took a sip of the now tepid tea. He found it to be
rather soothing despite his expectations.
"The meeting did not go well," he repeated after finally setting the thermos
back down. "The leaders weren't even human, and no, I am not particularly
biased against non-humans, but I at least had been expecting them to be so,
since ninety percent of the beings fighting under them were. Unfortunately I
wasn't very good at keeping my ... surprise hidden when they turned out to be a
Toydarian and a Dug."
Anakin didn't mention why those two species particularly bothered him, that the
two had come with body servants -- called such only because slavery was not
allowed on worlds who wished to continue as part of the Republic. Or that it
hadn't mattered to Anakin that the two generals were not the Toydarian or Dug
who had once held his ownership papers. They had not been so far removed in
either looks, obvious habits, or predilections for Anakin to have cared about
that small difference.
But Anakin wasn't at all sure how much his master might have mentioned his past
to this other master, and found he really didn't want to. It had been so nice
not to be judged as a worthy or unworthy Jedi candidate on his merit and skill
instead of because he'd once been a slave.
"And this Toydarian and Dug took offense to your surprise?" came another gentle
prompt.
Anakin was surprised at how good Master Jinn was in reading his distress, since
he was pretty sure he wasn't leaking it through his shields or showing it in
his expression. After the first of the explanation, he'd been working very hard
to keep his expression at least neutral. But only his master, those on the
Council, and less than a handful of other masters had ever shown him that same
type of sensitivity. He supposed it wasn't just because Master Jinn seemed to
be pretty deep in the Living Force, or, even that the indifferent masters
weren't so skilled themselves. Rather, he figured the others simply hadn't
cared enough to show him -- or perhaps anybody -- such consideration unless it
was relevant to a mission or a lesson.
Of course, he supposed Master Jinn might consider anything to be relevant to
the success of the mission so far; it wasn't as if he claimed any great
experience in participating in them.
"The Toydarian and Dug reacted to my anger by firing on us. I guess they
thought we had duped them into coming to the negotiation but instead were going
to arrest them." Anakin shrugged. "Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if
shooting at someone hadn't been on their minds all along, though I would have
thought it to be at each other before a third party. But, no, suddenly Jedi
were open season, something the two of them could agree on. We defended
ourselves, but there were also innocents in the room, and I pushed Master Obi-
Wan into seeing to them, assuring him I could defend against a couple of
blasters."
And he had, when it had only been the leaders and their few bodyguards. But, of
course, just about everyone within fifty kilometers of their position were
mercenaries, and fighting was the only thing on their minds. A couple of
blasters soon became many, and it didn't matter that some of the new arrivals
were happy to shoot at anything that was moving, including their own fellows.
There were still too many bolts to successfully deflect.
"I was overconfident," Anakin then admitted, his master's lessons and value on
honesty now too ingrained for him to even think of not taking the proper blame.
"Not only assuming I wouldn't need my master's help, but in how I was fighting.
I started showing off, maybe figuring I could scare them into backing down by
showing them I wasn't scared; that I was as good or better at fighting then
they were."
At this point he didn't want to pause where he had, but they'd arrived at the
jump corridor they were going to use, and he needed give warning for the jump
into hyperspace, which he did with a quick economy of words and movements.
"Even in the little bit of sparring yesterday, you may have noticed that my
master has an ... acrobatic style of fighting?" he asked when his next duty was
done and the stars turned to streaks outside of their view ports.
Master Jinn nodded but let Anakin return to the story without seeming to note
the oblique tangent.
"Well, like many padawans, I've been trying to come up with my own style and am
experimenting with several, but in the meantime I pretty much copy my master's.
Lots of times I really can do it, and it looks so cool when Master Obi-Wan does
it --"
He broke off when Master Jinn's expression changed for just a second.
Had that really been a smile?
"Well, this time I didn't do it right. I mistimed an overhead leap and landed
with my ankle twisting underneath me. Are you familiar with slug throwers?" he
suddenly asked. Then didn't wait for a nod, shake of the head, or any other
sort of answer.
"Most of the mercenaries used blasters, but I guess the Toydarian found them to
be too bulky to fire, or maybe he just liked how much noise and blood a slug
thrower produced. He certainly didn't have to worry about the recoil as he just
let it push him backward in a kind of glide."
He thrust his arm out toward the master and peeled back his sleeves.
"From what the healers said, I was really lucky," he continued as Master Jinn
showed as much attention to the scars on both sides of his forearm -- the one
on the outer part much larger than that on the inside -- as had the initiates
with Bant. "Apparently there are different sizes of slug-throwers, different
calibers of projectiles, as well as different types of materials they can be
made out of. Some could have taken my arm off entirely at the point of impact
just because of size alone, while others could have fragmented upon initial
impact, and chewed my arm up better than a rancor. Some even hold chemical
toxin inside to spill," he continued, admiring his own clinical recitation,
especially in light of how green the Jedi Master looked for just a moment.
"But this gun or its bullet wasn't really very big, and while messy, the wound
wasn't really life -- or even career -- threatening. Except that I also
couldn't walk anymore from the sprain. I was managing, but not very well," he
scowled. "And Master Obi-Wan left off those he'd been protecting to come to my
aid as I started to go into shock -- in both the mental and physical sense of
the word. He had to carry me while trying to get us back to our ship. I guess I
was losing a lot of blood, and Master Obi-Wan couldn't take the time to treat
the hole as we were still surrounded by about forty ships looking to spill more
of it. We were chased all the way to the Devlin Corridor," he explained in
bemusement at the severity of the risk the mercenaries had been willing to take
just to kill two people.
"My master spent almost a day and a half gripping my arm as a pressure bandage,
feeding me energy and going without food or sleep, plus staying one step ahead
of the ships in pursuit. He says there were six in the official report, but I
suspect there were more a lot longer along the way that he let on. I was
unconscious the entire time, however, and I know he won't tell me how bad
things were for him --"
"Does it really matter, now that you are both well again and the mission is
behind you?"
Anakin pulled back in affront. Of course it mattered! He deserved to know the
truth, to know just how badly he had endangered his master's life because of
his own foolishness. He --
"Surely you are not saying your master keeps some sort of tally as to how many
people he defeats --"
"No, of course not!" Anakin's scowl deepened. "He's a Jedi, not a bounty
hunter. He --"
Master Jinn held up his hands to forestall any more of Anakin's anger.
"I am not accusing him -- or you --of anything, Anakin. But isn't it likely
your master would have done the same thing whether there had been one ship or a
hundred pursuing the two of you? Isn't it possible that he doesn't even know
how many ships were really there? That all he was and is concerned with in a
situation like that is protecting you? And isn't that all that is really
important? That you would have done the same thing had your situation been
reversed?"
Anakin sighed and suddenly felt stupid. And tired, as if he'd just spent the
last hour or so doing repetitive katas instead of sitting on his backside
telling a story. "Yeah. But I guess I still feel guilty and ... "
"It wasn't your fault, Padawan," the master offered. "I heard nothing here
today that convinced me things would have turned out much differently. You
yourself said the Dug and the Toydarian were looking to continue their fight."
Master Jinn lifted his own thermos and took a long drink.
"Overconfidence is a fault, not a trait," he counseled. "As long as you
recognize and take steps to correct it from reoccurring. Sustaining some sort
of injury in that type of situation was pretty foregone, and you can be content
that only you were hurt by what you did, which will help you remember not to
let something like that happen again. Right?"
Anakin nodded, knowing that his face was red, but he was not really feeling
embarrassment -- exactly. He'd been given a lot to think about even if it
wasn't really anything different than his own master or the healers had already
told him. Maybe it was different because Master Jinn didn't have the same
biases as the other masters, or even his own.
Or maybe it just took massive amount of repetition to pound this type of lesson
into his head, just like learning the katas or his various studies.
4.
"Stand by for resumption of full gravity in two minutes."
As Anakin's announcement came through the comm. system in his quarters, Qui-Gon
looked up in surprise from the data pad he'd been reading. He'd been rather
pleased that Anakin preferred to run the ship at something nearer half of
Coruscant's gravity; being so large, any reduction in gravity made him feel a
bit more graceful.
And fortunately he'd never been one of those bothered by nausea or
disorientation in freefall, not even the transitions usually bothered him
although he did take the care to adjust his frame into a better position within
the bunk's webbing. Things did occasionally go wrong and it would be
embarrassing to hurt himself this early into a mission simply from falling.
"Stand by for transition into normal space," came the next announcement and
Qui-Gon's surprise grew.
Erinne lay three days out from Coruscant even through the hyperspace jump-
points. Each drop into normal space would add at least an hour to the journey.
This drop out was only five hours into the flight, and if that was the norm, it
would actually take them nearer four days to get there than the three Obi-Wan
had mentioned.
Anakin's warnings had been about the transitions, however, not any indication
of trouble. But still ...
Despite his initial thought for caution, Qui-Gon found himself getting up out
of his bunk and heading toward the cockpit. It wasn't as if he couldn't handle
either transition standing or moving. Qui-Gon had to think the Force would
offer him warning to be braced should there be some difficulty in the offing
anyway. Just as it was now gently urging him to return to the cockpit.
Qui-Gon could think of no reason why either of his companions would prefer
changing shifts in normal space instead of hyperspace, but he assumed the
transition was for Obi-Wan to take over duties from his padawan. Which Qui-Gon
found himself looking forward to.
While his chat with Anakin hadn't given him many more specific details about
either master or padawan, it had certainly further refined the impressions he
had already begun to form. The story had actually been horrifying, had first
given him pause to be so forcibly reminded of just how much the Universe asked
of the Jedi -- especially their young students -- as well as pointing out how
different a Jedi he was compared to the other two.
He knew and believed that all means of service had value in the Light, knew too
that more than once his direct actions had lead to an avoidance of the type of
disaster Obi-Wan and Anakin's last mission had become.
He couldn't even really say that Anakin was worse for the experience -- or for
any others he'd already needed to overcome or cope with.
In truth, Anakin was no more confused or insecure than any other teen his age -
- at least compared to those of Qui-Gon's admittedly limited acquaintance.
Xanatos had certainly exhibited the same tendencies to brood or feel guilty, to
make mistakes. And Qui-Gon had gone through much the same in his own childhood.
It was all part of growing up, as was learning to live with the consequences of
those mistakes.
The difference, of course, was the field in which the mistakes were being
played upon for Anakin. Qui-Gon didn't remember any instances of his own errors
or Xan's resulting in their own or someone else's death, not even the danger of
that happening. On the other hand, just deciding to get up out of the bed in
the morning could result in death. Or, for that matter, deciding to instead
stay in bed, as had happened to the few victims of Solus Four's last ground-
quake.
Nor did it seem as if Anakin wasn't capable of playing on this more deadly
field of life.
Whether one wanted to claim it was direct intervention from the Force, or just
figured it as a testament to the training and skills of the Order, no matter
how it was explained or believed, Jedi masters chose their padawans, they were
not simply assigned by some form of committee. And rarely did a master choose
an incompatible padawan, or one unable to become the partner that was expected.
His friend Chan'tlc had been a healer, and so had become her padawan. His
Xanatos was a researcher much like he was, as Qui-Gon's own master had been,
and he had to assume Obi-Wan's master was a diplomat too.
So it was not too much to suppose that Anakin would eventually become a
diplomat or warrior, as Qui-Gon could think of no better example of a
compatible and proper pairing than Anakin and Obi-Wan.
Such thoughts had Qui-Gon looking back at Obi-Wan's door before then turning
toward the cockpit when there seemed no point in pursuing something in Obi-
Wan's direction. As before when he had checked a couple of hours earlier, the
knight's door remained closed and Qui-Gon had little sense of movement coming
from beyond it. While five hours was in no way extraordinarily long for a
Jedi's meditation, it wasn't usually the norm for someone so young and
obviously active, either.
Unless the Jedi in question was truly disturbed by something.
Yes Obi-Wan had exhibited some distress when talking of the timing of the
mission, and Qui-Gon had been able to sense the knight's own guilt in needing
to keep secrets from his padawan because of being one of the Council's Sith
hunters. Still the knight did not strike Qui-Gon as someone who wallowed in
angst or guilt for too long. Obi-Wan Kenobi seemed far too practical and
pragmatic to need to extensively mediate about decisions and circumstances far
out of his hands or control.
Obi-Wan wouldn't be the first Jedi to have fallen into a state of sleep during
meditation. Especially if he had as little sleep the night before as Qui-Gon
expected, given the early launch window and little enough prep time between the
assigning of the mission and that departure. Qui-Gon himself had debated taking
a nap after leaving Anakin to his studies, while the padawan stayed in the
cockpit in case of an emergency.
But he had opted to read instead for his relaxation, knowing the need to worry
at the tidbits Anakin had offered would have kept him from sleeping or relaxing
without some other form of distraction. Furthermore, with their destination and
the ship both using Coruscant Standard time intervals, he wouldn't need to
worry about resetting his biological clock before their arrival, and so could
keep to his usual schedule of activity for at least a little while longer.
By the time Qui-Gon had reached the hatchway to the cockpit, the ship had begun
the transition into normal space although not yet to full gravity. He stopped
at the first hint of disorientation. Then almost immediately resumed his
tugging at the six-inch thick barrier, only to be abruptly pushed back -- along
with the massive door -- by the ship being given an abrupt jolt away from their
heading. The inertial dampeners had not compensated for the movement quickly
enough, and for an instant, forward was up, and aft became down. Due to the
partial gravity field, however, Qui-Gon kept his balance and pushed away with
one hand instead of crashing into the bulkhead.
He shut his eyes and reached out with the Force for a better understanding of
Anakin's actions. Not even the harsh emergency klaxon abruptly starting
disrupted him before he had caught a glimpse of what had provoked the
unexpected maneuver. Just as they dropped back into normal space, they had come
under attack. By a multitude of other vessels.
The ship rocked under the impact of weapon's fire against their shields, then
from two more near hits in quick succession.
"Going to zero G in five," Anakin warned over the ship-wide comm system.
For just a moment Qui-Gon was tempted to go back to check on Obi-Wan.
But he knew that no matter how deeply the knight might have been meditating or
sleeping, the klaxons would have awoken him even if Anakin's initial, general
warnings had not. And no doubt Obi-Wan's station right now would be in the
weapon's bay; Qui-Gon would only be delaying the other or getting in the way
should he go after the knight. So even though it was obvious that Anakin needed
no relief from his piloting, given the acrobatic defensive actions he was
putting the ship through and the fact that only one more impact had even
reached their shielding, Qui-Gon might still be better able to help the padawan
in some fashion than the master.
Or he would at least be out of everyone's way by staying in the cockpit.
"Anakin?" He folded himself through the opening and used the handholds across
the ceiling to drag himself over then propel himself down into the co-pilot's
chair as gravity cut out completely.
"I could use a hand," Anakin said in a tone that was not quite pleading. "If
you can monitor the shields and other ship systems, I can better link with my
master at weapons control, then need only worry about flying."
"Of course." Qui-Gon finished fastening himself into his seat restraints.
Looking over the board in front of him, he noted first that Obi-Wan was already
bringing up the weapons systems, and that Anakin had made no attempt to open
any sort of communications with their attackers. The three-dimensional sensor
plot showed seven close targets but recognition profiles only for three. Giving
a quick look at the real-time view screen, Qui-Gon saw that six different types
of ships encircled them.
All were small, and built for speed and maximum offensive firepower, not long-
range travel. Pirates, then, either operating out from a nearby, larger
transport ship, or from the planetary system.
He began a search of the navigational readings.
The small system contained a single habitable planet, and two terra-formed
moons around one of the outer gas giants. A wide asteroid belt also orbited
around the mid-sized yellow sun, giving too many possibilities for a base for
the attacking ships. Or at least viable hiding places. While pirates were not
uncommon in the Outer Rim systems, it was rather unusual for a group this large
to be in operation less than six hours out from Coruscant and the other Core
Worlds.
On the other hand, it was even less likely for this to have been a planned
ambush instead of a target of opportunity. To be some sort of concerted effort
to stop the Jedi from reaching Erinne, their quarry would have had to have
contacts within the Temple itself, which was extremely unlikely. And able to
influence those contacts into giving up flight information. But they still
wouldn't have known Anakin would have chosen to drop out of hyperspace here,
unless they had influenced Anakin?
No, while their quarry was reputed to be dead, and might possibly be a dead
Sith, even they couldn't influence a large number of folks from so far away.
Especially Jedi.
It was also unlikely, from what little information Qui-Gon had dug up in the
last hour regarding Sith encounters within the past five years, that somehow
Obi-Wan was under constant surveillance because of his previous involvements.
Cooperation or coordination between the followers of the Dark seemed as non-
existent in recent times as it had in millennia past. Sith liked and trusted
each other almost less than they did Jedi.
Be they pirates or Sith, however, their attackers did have the upper hand in
numbers and fire power, and that was the immediate concern instead of how they
had come to be here. Anakin and Obi-Wan would have to be very, very good to get
them away before the sheer number of incoming fire overpowered the shields of
the Udan Orr. They would have to hope they were defending from pirates, as such
would be more likely to want to keep the ship more or less intact, along with a
crew or passengers that could be ransomed. And then, three Jedi against even
twenty or more pirates would not be nearly as difficult as one ship against
seven -
Six.
Although he had not destroyed the other ship, Obi-Wan had managed to take out
its propulsion system. While it might still be able to fire weapons, that
likelihood of scoring a hit would be much less with it lying dead in space.
After another minute, their opponents stood at five, with another of the
attackers having lost their weapons array to precise targeting. Obi-Wan was not
going for kill shots. As a fellow Jedi, Qui-Gon appreciated the effort being
taken to strictly defend, but Obi-Wan was not the only skilled fire control
operator in this battle; they had taken a couple of well placed hits against
their shield generating pods themselves. One or two more similar strikes and
they would be just as vulnerable as the lightly shielded ships they defended
against.
And no longer was he quite so sure the others would be so considerate in
targeting to disable the ship instead of destroying it.
Qui-Gon began re-routing power from all the non-essential systems in an effort
to bolster their failing shields. He had already sealed off the bulkheads in
case of a hull penetration, and now he began taking all of the unoccupied rooms
off the life-support system grid. Should any of them need to move from where
they were to the engine room or medical, they would have to use one of the
portable oxygen supplies. But that was a minor inconvenience when compared to
the extra power this allowed him to reallocate.
Obi-Wan's next shot was either not quite as precise, or the knight had realized
simply defending would take too long to put the others out of commission. Now
only four opposed them, the fifth ship exploding in a sphere of shrapnel and
coruscating energy that blinded Qui-Gon for an instant. Anakin didn't even
flinch.
Not knowing whether to be impressed or fearful that Anakin was handling all of
the maneuvering with his eyes closed, Qui-Gon dropped his own attention back
down to his displays and the tell-tail warnings that began lighting the board.
Some of the destroyed ship's shrapnel had gotten through the shields and was
now impacting against their hull.
The four remaining ships seemed more angry than fearful of their compatriot's
destruction, two flying recklessly closer instead of fleeing, or hanging back.
Rapid pulses shook their ship until Qui-Gon felt like a clapper in a bell. Had
gravity not already been taken off-line, they would have lost it in the last
exchange, and both Anakin and Qui-Gon were rocked into the flight panel with
bone bruising strength that would have been even worse were they not webbed in.
At this Anakin cried out, the first sound either he or Qui-Gon had made since
their initial exchange at the beginning of the battle, but he didn't even slow
in his coaxing the ship into several amazing maneuvers.
Another hit sent two more systems flashing red, one being the lighting system
shorting out. Then the starboard shields failed, just as another shot was
directed that way. Somehow Anakin managed something well beyond the
manufacturer's tolerance specifications, and shifted them so the hit impacted
against the still strong aft shields. Had he the time to consider anything
other than the board in front of him, Qui-Gon might have been nauseous for all
the contortions Anakin put the ship through.
Nauseous or scared.
Obi-Wan took out another ship, leaving only three active against them. But the
hole in their starboard shields grew, and another couple of hits would likely
bring down the aft shields. One of the two ships that had held back instead of
going head to head against Anakin's brilliant flying now moved into a more
aggressive position. Instead of continuing to fire its heavier grazers and x-
ray pulsars, it brought its lasers into play.
For a moment Qui-Gon could only stare and wonder; such a weapon system did
little against active shields. But then he understood when a second ship began
a similar barrage. These new laser pulses were targeted against their view
ports, just as the first must have been being directed against the weapon pods.
Had either Anakin or Obi-Wan been using anything other than Force sight, they
would have been more than temporarily blinded.
Even as Qui-Gon blinked and shook away his own reaction of automatic tears,
demands for surrender started to come across an open frequency. The pirates
expected them to be disoriented and demoralized, and Qui-Gon had to wonder what
they would do upon discovering that was not the case.
Qui-Gon directed Force healing through his damaged optic nerve and regained
enough vision to see the third ship drop away, spilling bodies and debris.
Despite the tragic loss of life, he gave a little sigh of relief. Now down to
two on one; even if they were boarded, there couldn't be enough pirates to
seriously threaten the three of them.
Another look across the board and systems showing more dead than working and he
felt his heart suddenly clutch. The communication trace showed the shrill
demands didn't come from one of the two remaining ships. At least one more ship
was out there, far enough away not to show up on the sensor grid, but with a
powerful enough communications array to reach them regardless. And if it had
fire power to match -
"Anakin, prepare to jump to hyperspace," Qui-Gon commanded without thinking. He
was already feeding in calculations for a retrograde jump back along the path
they had come from, and working out calculations in his head for a blind jump
if necessary.
"Not yet -" a protest was torn from the padawan's mouth even as another hit
shook their ship. This one hit them much harder, had to have come from the out-
lying ship.
"Do it, Anakin!" came Obi-Wan's order to back up Qui-Gon's.
Qui-Gon expected to see disappointment or anger for having to retreat when he
turned because the youth slapped his hands down. Instead he found Anakin pale
and stricken, yet he had no time to question what was wrong before his plot fed
into Anakin's board. And although his frown deepened, Anakin made no further
protest and quickly shifted his attention back to his controls. In the next
instant the chaos of two space fields trying to coexist swept through them.
******
Anakin wasn't sure if his queasiness came from the sloppy drop into hyperspace,
or from feeling the deaths of those caught in their wake. He had killed before,
but never so impersonally. Somehow that he couldn't see the eyes as their lives
ended made it worse, like something from the Darkside. It had been so damn
easy. And it would easy to do again: never connecting with his enemy, never
really needing to acknowledge that by his action, another had ceased to live.
Anakin did understand the concept of the deaths of a few to protect the many.
The necessity for a Jedi to sometimes kill in order to defend. He even knew
that had they been able to disable the pirates long enough to turn them over to
the proper authorities, some if not all of them would just as likely have been
put to death for their past crimes regardless. High justice, as long as it was
justice and not revenge, was a valid response to pirates, both legally and
morally.
So why did it hurt so much?
He wanted to cry, or throw-up, and knew this was something he'd need to
meditate long and hard about before he could begin to forgive himself.
Or begin to forgive Master Jinn for making him do it. Or forgive his own
master.
He wanted to cry, and be held like he was a child again. To be told things were
all right. That it wasn't his fault.
"Anakin, are you injured?"
Anakin gave a quick shake of his head. Not in answer to the question, but to
clear his vision and light-headedness even though he knew it would make the
pounding worse. "'m fine," he managed to get out through a throat that felt
about three sizes too small. Much like the rest of his body. Moving his fingers
over the board to turn off failed systems hurt. Moving his head to watch what
his fingers were doing hurt. Blinking hurt.
He swallowed heavily and took a deep breath, hissing when that pushed his lungs
against his bruised ribs. But his injuries were minimal if painful. He still
had full access to the Force, which he quickly directed to give a boost of
energy that would turn to adrenalin and start his healing.
"Are you sure, Padawan?"
Anakin nodded, turning at last to look at Master Jinn. The older man looked
about as queasy and messy as Anakin felt, but wasn't bleeding anywhere obvious.
"Nothing a little bit of rest and meditation won't take care of, Master.
Yourself?" he asked despite being pretty confident of the answer.
"I'm fine."
"Then you need -- I can take care of things up here, but can you -" Anakin
paused and bit his lip, in part because he had almost ordered a Jedi Master
around, and in part because he needed the other to do what he'd nearly ordered.
What he wanted to do himself.
"Can you please check on my master?" he began again. "He's not really hurt, I
think, but it feels like he is unconscious and -"
Master Jinn's alarm might have been amusing, and it certainly told much about
the man's growing feelings, but Anakin could only silently acknowledge the
reaction before Master Jinn was floating up from his seat and pulling himself
toward the back hatchway.
"Assuming it works at all, I'm going to return us to half gravity," Anakin
warned as he began restoring the atmosphere to those sections of the ship
between here and the weapons pod, then giving the overrides to unseal the
bulkheads so Qui-Gon wouldn't have to fight them along with carrying his master
to their small medical facility. Even assuming an inaccurate damage control
system that so far wasn't reporting anything so catastrophic - were there a
hull breach, the overrides wouldn't work.
So it wasn't like he'd be sending the other into some sort of unknown danger.
"I'll be down to help just as soon as I get repairs underway. Just in case,
though, do you have one of our portable comm units?"
"Yes," Master Jinn impatiently growled back from where he hovered at the
opening.
This time Anakin did allow himself a smile at Master Jinn's concern, but only
after the other was far enough away that even a hint of his thoughts couldn't
be sensed. Although Anakin loathed turning his duties to his master over to
someone else, at least Master Jinn was exhibiting more than a dispassionate
interest. And if Anakin were to be true to his earlier vow, if Master Jinn
turned out to be the one who could help him fulfill that vow, he'd likely be
less involved in seeing to his master's well being in the future anyway. So he
might as well get used to the possibility now.
Yet that thought hurt almost as much as did the need to rationalize all of the
deaths of the pirates. Despite his wish to see his master happy, he obviously
still held some jealousy in thinking his own presence wasn't enough.
One more thing to meditate on.
After he made sure the ship would be able to come out of hyperspace again. And
that they could resume their journey to Erinne.
Although a small ship, the Udan Orr was top of the line, and had been carefully
maintained from the first day it had come from the shipyard. Not only did most
of the operating systems have multi- redundancies built in, but she also
contained a handful of servomechanisms that could perform basic repairs
unsupervised. They did not have any of the artificial intelligence of a real
droid, but Anakin had been able to tweak their programming to accept wider
parameters of operation than had come from the factory. Which meant he could
direct them to start on the worst of the internal damage, and would need only
to run final diagnostics on their work instead of handling all of the repairs
himself. Stuff he could oversee from the galley and their tiny medical bay once
he put them to work.
Checking to see that the proximity alarms still functioned, Anakin set the
remaining controls to autopilot and began unwebbing from his chair. Master Jinn
hadn't radioed back any trouble in getting to his master, which meant he could
head directly to the medical bay himself. And give the other the explanation as
to why his master hadn't regained consciousness, which Master Jinn had no doubt
begun to worry about.
******
Obi-Wan didn't need to open his eyes to know he was in some sort of medical
center, needed only a few seconds to realize it was the one on his own ship.
And to remember the circumstances which had led him to being here.
The ship had come under attack during a drop back into normal space. Leaving
Anakin to pilot, Obi-Wan took over weapons, and took the responsibility for
ending the lives of their opponents when survival and escape demanded it. He
could feel his padawan's uneasiness about that, and knew they needed to talk.
That gave him the impetus to open his eyes despite their return into
hyperspace, and to move off the diagnostics table even before he tried to sort
through the images that threatened to overwhelm his inner sight.
Only to find himself brought up short by a sturdy hand placed against his chest
- his bared chest. A hand not belonging to Anakin.
"I'm not sure you should be moving yet. I am getting some anomalous readings
from you, not to mention some plain, old fashion internal bruising."
It took Obi-Wan a couple more seconds to put a name to the multitude of faces
that swam before his eyes. They all belonged to Qui-Gon Jinn, another Jedi, a
master, and their resident expert on Force ghosts. Apparently also his
nursemaid. Which meant Ani was dealing with the ship. Which meant the ship had
taken as bad a beating as he had suspected before they had jumped into
hyperspace.
Closing his eyes again, Obi-Wan let himself center on the warmth of the hand
that moved from his chest and around to his back, now supporting his shoulders
as the upper part of the table began to raise him into a sitting position.
Moving exacerbated his headache, yet also helped him focus on the here and now,
which was the only tolerable thing about it.
"The anomalous readings are probably normal for me," he said thickly. Just in
case, he spared a little more energy to take an internal reading. A couple of
muscle pulls, an ache about his neck and shoulders likely from whiplash, and
the expected headache from the slightly out of synch translation. And, of
course, the source of Qui-Gon's anomalous reading: a persistent, Force-induced
vertigo.
He was also quite cold. But even as Obi-Wan started to shiver, Qui-Gon was
wrapping a blanket around him. He was already wearing one across his lap. And
little else. Immediately he started to blush even though he knew the other
would have only reduced him to this state of undress from necessity.
"A piece of shrapnel worked its way through the back of your chair and about a
half an inch into your right trapezius."
Obi-Wan flexed the shoulder and arm, only now recognizing the constriction he
felt was also from bandages, not just muscle strain. The smell of bacta had
been his first clue he was in medical, so while his upper back hurt and was
quite stiff, it was already well on its way to healing. Certainly by the time
they arrived on Erinne it would be at most tender, nothing to slow him down or
make him unable to complete the mission.
"Your tunic and leggings were saturated with blood and I wasn't sure if you
were injured elsewhere."
The flush of embarrassment spreading across Qui-Gon's face went a long way to
curing Obi-Wan's. "Thanks," he offered, along with a half impish smile. "So the
ship and my clothes are the only casualties?"
Aside from looking uncomfortable and a little disheveled from the time spent in
zero gravity if not the combat itself, the Jedi Master didn't look and wasn't
acting as if he was injured himself. Still ...
Qui-Gon nodded. "I am fine and Anakin says he is, but you might want to verify
that through your link."
Obi-Wan did just that, not really needing to catch Anakin's attention and in
fact purposely masking his presence so the teen didn't try to down play
anything. Like himself, Anakin had gotten a bit beat up from the gyrations he
put the ship through, but had already shunted enough raw Force energy through
his body to no longer be bothered.
"And the ship?"
To that Qui-Gon shrugged and reached over to a sealed tumbler he had to have
prepared previously as it was wonderfully warm when he placed it into Obi-Wan's
hands. "We're still underway, and nothing catastrophic failed during the
battle. It does appear they were just as interested in taking out our weapons
as we were theirs. The maintenance tube aft of your pod buckled, which
dislodged then snapped away part of the ladder and created the shrapnel."
Obi-Wan took a long sip of the drink. Not tea, not anything he recognized
though he tasted a hint of berry and felt a slight kick from some sort of
alcohol. It tasted quite good, soothed his throat, and was helping warm him
more than the blanket, but not as much as the feel of Qui-Gon's hand when the
other fussed a little bit more with securing the bandages about his shoulder.
"We were all quite lucky most of it impacted against the opposite bulkhead
instead of into the weapons pod," Qui-Gon then said softly. "And that the seat
bracing for your neck and head is thicker than that across your back. There was
another spear that nearly made it through that portion."
The shiver that Obi-Wan gave at that was not from the cold. While he had no
particular fear of dying and he wasn't sure he wanted it to come from old age
in the first place, he did know he preferred it to be with his lightsaber in
hand, not from some anonymous or random act of violence. Then his brain
processed not just what Qui-Gon had said but how, and he shivered again.
We.
Maybe dying from old age wouldn't be that bad if it didn't mean he would be
doing so alone.
Before Obi-Wan could do more than open his mouth to respond, however, pounding
footsteps sounded, followed quickly by the source of the noise. A worried,
excited and thoroughly worked up padawan.
Obviously he hadn't masked his presence nearly as well as he had thought.
"Master, you're awake!" Anakin exclaimed, bounding around the corner. "And
really hurt!" he noted when his eyes took in the blood on his crumpled clothes
on the nearby counter that Obi-Wan only just now noticed himself from Anakin's
attention.
"Only a bump and a scratch which are already almost healed thanks to Master
Jinn's quickness and expertise."
"Qui-Gon," the master in question quietly admonished before beginning to pick
up and restore the supplies and equipment he had worked with, giving the two at
least the illusion of privacy.
Obi-Wan recognized the nature of the fierce look Anakin gave him, and held out
his hand to draw his padawan close. "I really am fine, Ani. No more stiff and
sore than you are yourself. We'll work through it before we reach Erinne." He
took the time to run his hand lightly over the crown of Anakin's head and down
to the nape of his neck to confirm that nothing was too far out of synch within
his padawan's body.
"I am also very proud of you," he said more softly, just for Anakin's ears
alone. "I know how hard it was for you to follow that last order. I hope you
know it was hard for me to give it. Not because of what it was going to do to
me, but because of what resulted with the other ships and, therefore, you.
Would you still have hesitated to follow the order even if the ships were not
close enough to be caught in the translation wave?"
Although Anakin lowered his eyes, he nodded slowly.
Obi-Wan sighed and lifted his other hand to lightly grasp and raise Anakin's
chin. "I know you wish to spare me discomfort. And I am most appreciative of
the extraordinary care you take on my behalf, Padawan. But you must promise me
you will never hesitate like that again. We both knew what would happen, but we
also know that I will recover from the vertigo, and that I can manage even
while it is happening. I would not so easily recover from you being injured, or
especially from your death should that result because you are too afraid for
me."
"Yes, Master." An automatic response, but Obi-Wan could also sense that Anakin
genuinely meant it, even if he wasn't quite sure he could make such a promise
and keep it.
Obi-Wan quickly stifled a second sigh. While Anakin had always been a little
too protective of him, he had understood the boy's need, and his fear of losing
yet another person who meant so much to him, as he had his mother and Obi-Wan's
previous master. He had no more desire to leave Anakin, in death or from any
other means, than the teen wanted to be left. But theirs was a dangerous life,
and Jedi did die; padawans, knights and masters.
Maybe he had been wrong to be so informal with Anakin. If they had the more
normal master and padawan relationship, there wouldn't be so much fear of loss.
Of course any death was a loss and the Order grieved, especially those who had
been linked or bonded to the one who had died. But they were Jedi, and had
learned to accept death as a natural part of life from their first days in the
crèche. By being taken from their families so young, the ties later formed
simply weren't normally as strong as those forged in family.
Except for the one boy who had come to be a Jedi when he was nine, and had
learned too early the pain of losing someone they loved.
"I will keep your promise, if you make one to me," Anakin suddenly whispered
with a fierceness that only focused attention on the affection shining in his
eyes.
Obi-Wan raised his brow.
"I will try not to dwell on what may happen in the future, if you stop dwelling
on mistakes you think you have made in the past," came out in a rush.
"And that is the only way I will get you to obey me, Padawan?" Obi-Wan kept his
tone cold, the emotions the challenge raised, hidden. He couldn't just let this
pass, and yet ...
Instantly Anakin blushed and lowered his eyes again. "I'm sorry, Master. It's
just that I -- you -- no one else blames you for Master Mace, but you still
..." His voice trailed off in contrite confusion.
Obi-Wan relented, recognizing the fear and guilt left over from that time that
still plagued Anakin as deeply as it did himself. Maybe if he did forgive
himself for his master's death, he could help Anakin do the same.
He pulled gently on Anakin's neck until he could lean up and brush his lips
against the teen's forehead. "I will endeavor to try, Padawan," he promised.
"And I will be more aware of the big picture, Master, and not just consider
things for how they effect either of the two of us."
Obi-Wan smiled. "How about you give me a hand up then, and I'll give you a hand
with the repairs."
"First let me help with your headache." Because it felt so good when Anakin
began to focus some of his abundant energy on Obi-Wan's aches, too late did
Obi-Wan note the glint in his padawan's eye. He had time only to widen his own
eyes in protest before the compulsion to sleep overrode his admittedly faulty
mental shielding.
5.
Although he had managed to stay busy, and had purposely chosen not to overhear
what Obi-Wan and Anakin had been saying, Qui-Gon could not ignore the surge in
the Force that occurred behind him. He turned in time to see Anakin lowering
the raised portion of the diagnostic table, then drawing both blankets to
better cover his master.
"Tell me you didn't just put your master to sleep?"
From the guilt that chased across Anakin's face, it was obvious the teen had
forgotten for a moment that he wasn't alone in the room with his master, that
another master was present who just might object to such liberties being taken.
But the guilt quickly turned to resolve, which Qui-Gon found himself
respecting.
At least until he got an answer.
"I did, Master Jinn. But only because my master is too protective over my well-
being, and too stubborn to look to his own."
"We've already talked about that, Padawan. It is a master's prerogative." Qui-
Gon strove to keep his tone neutral along with his expression, though he did
move back up to the other side of Obi-Wan to look the knight over. He had to
admit that a few of the pain lines that had tightened around Obi-Wan's eyes did
seem to be easing.
"Yes, sir, I know and agree. But this time my master was only concerned because
it was his shift in the cockpit, not because I might be too tired to continue
with monitor duty or repairs." There was no hint of contrition or remorse in
Anakin, even as he acknowledged he might have overstepped his responsibilities.
Qui-Gon could read that the teen was more than ready to accept any consequences
his actions may have caused, either by his master later, or from Qui-Gon right
now.
Again, such conviction was hard to censure as it resonated with support in the
Force.
For a few moments more Anakin fiddled with the blanket, then smoothed back Obi-
Wan's hair before leaning over to kiss his master's forehead. He made to leave,
but waited for Qui-Gon to proceed him as they moved into the galley, and thus
showed a continued willingness to explain or accept punishment; whatever Qui-
Gon saw fit to demand.
For his part, Qui-Gon was still willing to listen. He took up one of the chairs
in the galley and waited for Anakin to seat himself. "Your master's injuries
are well on their way to healing, which would not have changed had he rested in
the pilot's chair."
"Yes, sir," Anakin agreed again. "And if that was all there was, I would have
only suggested I take another shift instead of insisting." He sighed and
fidgeted slightly in his chair, finally turning his head far enough around to
take another look at his sleeping master. "It's not really my place to tell
you, but, well, you were real understanding earlier. I know you are bothered by
what I just did, and this may affect something else you'll need to do before
this trip is over, so I think you really need to know."
The only time such a statement had been said to Qui-Gon before had been when
someone else had been too ill to properly perform their duties. Once when
another knight had perforce to persuade him to take over a mission from the
senior Jedi they had been working with, and once when a fellow master had been
requesting permission to leave a mission because of an injury his padawan had
been concealing and had become life-threatening. He didn't want to think this
was something of the same nature, couldn't imagine the Council would have
sanctioned such a team for the mission if they were not able to complete it,
even if he had misread the diagnostics of the medical examination he had
performed on Obi-Wan. Or misread his own Force-sense.
"Your strength lies in the Living Force, doesn't it?"
Qui-Gon nodded somewhat warily in answer to Anakin's question.
"And no doubt you've noticed that I swing between the Living and Unified Force,
depending on what I'm doing." Anakin suddenly grinned, and looked about
fourteen years old instead of seventeen. "Not even my master or Master Yoda
knows which will prevail once I get myself under control. Assuming I ever get
it under control," he added a bit self-deprecatingly.
"With your master's strength lying in the Unified Force, it would take quite an
effort on your part to learn enough about the Living Force on your own to
become its master."
Anakin nodded. "That's what most of the other masters tell us. And I know
Master Obi-Wan is desperately looking for someone better versed in the Living
Force who can also stand to work with me, so we can better understand and
explore my full potential."
Qui-Gon raised his brow at that. While Jedi were as full of faults as any other
sentient being, disliking another Jedi rarely affected any working or training
relationship once formal studies or duties got underway. And even before then,
rivalries formed between initiates before they had chosen their life's path
more often than not fell away under the realization of their dreams. There were
simply too few Jedi and too many tasks needing to be done for one Jedi to
ignore the aid another of their brethren could offer.
But Anakin was implying his teachers, the other masters, were having trouble
working with him.
"My training isn't the problem I'm talking about though, or is only a
peripheral part," Anakin said intuitively.
Qui-Gon hoped that his shielding or thoughts weren't that transparent.
"Our problem here is because of my master's rapport with the Unified Force.
Well, because he's also prescient. One or the other would be okay, but with
both, traveling through hyperspace is very ... unsettling. That's the main
reason he prefers we leave so early. He usually can work around it by doing
something involved like piloting or katas. When we're traveling on a commercial
or hired ship, he either goes to sleep or meditates through the first
transition." He scowled and started to drum his hand on the table, but halted
before Qui-Gon gave any thought to stopping what was obviously a nervous habit.
"But the timing of this mission meant I had to cancel my next ratings testing,
so I talked him into letting me do most of the flying the whole trip, including
taking us out. I never would have done it if I expected we'd be attacked, and
that we'd need to make a jump before he could prepare for it!"
Now Anakin's eyes were filled with guilt, and no few tears. While Qui-Gon
didn't fully understand what the nature of Obi-Wan's distress was, he had seen
the results, and the results of Anakin's feelings about it. He reached out and
gathered the hand Anakin had left on the table between his own.
"I am not your master, but I have had a padawan myself, Anakin. And I can sense
how strong the bonds between the two of you are. You do him credit with your
concern, even as it has led you to acting on convictions which might be
contrary to his wishes. Don't mire those convictions in guilt, too. The only
thing we can know is that your piloting saved the ship and has kept the mission
intact. We cannot know if the same result would have occurred had either your
master or I been piloting when we were attacked."
"But if Master Obi-Wan had been piloting, he wouldn't have dropped back into
normal space to be attacked," the teen protested somewhat more stridently. "I
always drop us back into normal space for the shift change to give him time to
surface and center before he has to take over."
"Which is a very kind and responsible action to take," Qui-Gon praised. "But
neither can we say something similar might not have happened without that
transition; the ship just entering into the fray when you took us out could
well have been large enough to pull us out of hyperspace regardless. And that
would likely have been an even more uncomfortable translation that was our
return to hyperspace." Qui-Gon gave the other a warm smile.
"Had that happened and your master been piloting, he might not have been able
to perform as skillfully as you had. Or if you hadn't made the drop and we were
still pulled out, he might not have been able to man the weapons pod. Avoiding
being disabled or destroyed by seven ships is quite an extraordinary
accomplishment, Anakin. It is not something many other pilots could have done,
myself included."
Anakin was not too old not to take a measure of pride in his flying, or to
appreciate a heartfelt compliment, especially by someone who really could
understand what he had done. Even so, Qui-Gon could see the boy was not
completely convinced what had happened hadn't somehow been his fault.
"Do you feel the pirates knew we would drop into the normal space when we did,
Padawan?"
Anakin looked up from the table in surprise. "N-no."
"So you would conclude that they were lying in wait for any prey, not
specifically us."
This time the teen said nothing, just nodded.
Qui-Gon managed to keep a smile from his lips; it was certainly not a laughing
matter, but he had his own small measure of pride in how easily he was leading
the other into a logic trap.
"And in order for that type of action to be effective, the pirates would have
been lying in wait for a number of hours if not days previous, and would have
undoubtedly waited hours or days more had we not shown up, correct?"
Another nod.
"Would it be safe to say that they would still be there, or would be returning
there day after day until another ship arrived, then?"
"Y-yes, sir." Anakin was obviously beginning to sense that he had been neatly
trapped, but was just not quite taking the leap to see where.
"Then based on your assumptions of their tactics and their skills which you
observed first hand, what would have happened had the ship that next ran into
them been an unarmed diplomatic cruiser? Or a luxury liner?"
"The pirates would have overwhelmed such a ship, sir," came out in little more
than a whisper.
"And innocent people would have died or been injured, captured, and maybe
ransomed or sold into slavery -"
Awareness had been dawning, but at the word slavery, Anakin's face lost all of
its color, to the point that Qui-Gon feared the teen would pass out.
"Padawan Skywalker?"
The youth swayed a little in his seat, but then Qui-Gon could see him marshal
his control.
"Whether it was the will of the Force or not, Padawan," he offered softly,
"what we know is that because of your piloting, we survived, and that has now
insured others will also survive. I am not prescient, and by how you speak of
it, I would imagine you are not, at least not yet. So we cannot know all of the
possible outcomes of all possible actions. Only the one in the moment we take
it. To dwell on anything else can be madness."
And even as he said the last, Qui-Gon began to wonder if that was the root of
Obi-Wan's difficulty in hyperspace. Moving through one point when all things
and all times were possible. If you could somehow see that, it would be
madness.
"I have learned about most of this stuff, Master."
Qui-Gon hid his smile at the slight peevishness in Anakin's tone. "I've no
doubt you have, just as I meant no slight against your master's teaching by
pointing it out just now. Yet I also know it is quite one thing to spend most
of your life hearing and studying such things, and that they stay merely a
thing of philosophy. Right up until the moment the philosophy becomes truth."
Anakin nodded, and with more conviction this time, yet still worried at his
lips before turning away to glance again toward Obi-Wan. It was as if he needed
the visual assurance despite his link. Which led Qui-Gon to believe Anakin was
agaif about to offer information he wasn't sure Obi-Wan would approve of being
disclosed.
This made Qui-Gon question the nature of Obi-Wan and Anakin's bond. They were
obviously close, closer, in fact, that almost any other pairing he had come
across. But it had been obvious just the day before that they did not share a
mental closeness as deep as their emotional bond. Otherwise Anakin would not
have been so caught up in the communion the three of them managed to form
during their katas. This distancing wouldn't be all that surprising, he
decided, given that both had lost their masters on the same mission, leaving
Obi-Wan to take over Anakin's training.
It was hard to replace bonds willingly let go -- such as the natural parting
between a master and padawan who gained knighthood. It was infinitely harder to
replace bonds that were severed abruptly by the death of one of the
participants.
Anakin was still silent, still fidgeting. For a moment Qui-Gon backed away from
the thought of encouraging him to speak whatever was on his mind; if it was
something Obi-Wan wouldn't approve of, he didn't want to come between a master
and his padawan.
On the other hand, even had Qui-Gon been blind to the Living Force, he could
sense how conflicted Anakin currently felt. He had never been able to sit by
and ignore another's distress.
"Pada - Anakin, you can ask or tell me anything," he said not unkindly. "I will
keep your secrets or keep your master's secrets if you need that of me. But you
need to lessen your fears if you intend to keep on your feet. If it is
something you cannot talk about, then give me the commands to continue to
oversee the repairs and go meditate if you will not rest."
"It's not a secret," Anakin responded, but then fell silent once again. And
even when he finally worked up the courage he'd been looking for, he kept his
eyes locked on the finger he was using to swirl around some spilt liquid across
the table. "I mean, everyone at the Temple knows, or most everyone. But you're
new there, and I guess no one had told you yet, which means you didn't judge us
like they do, and -"
Qui-Gon had to fight to keep from grabbing up Anakin's hand. "Whatever you have
to say will not change how I think of you or your master."
The teen raised his head and met Qui-Gon's gaze squarely. "Yes it will."
Qui-Gon paused before giving an automatic denial. And took a deep breath that
was not quite a sigh, was more of a testing of the flavor of the Force.
"You are right," he started finally. "No doubt it will. But because I do not
know either of you well, everything I learn affects my impressions of you. I
cannot think of anything you could say that would make me not like you,
however. No, I know there is nothing you can say that would make me not like
you." Or your master, he wanted to add, but didn't, at least verbally. Not yet.
"You're eager, intelligent, willing to listen and to learn. How could I not
like you, Anakin Skywalker?"
"Because I'm not supposed to be a Jedi."
By tone, by expression, Qui-Gon knew Anakin did not mean his words in the sense
that he wouldn't pass his trials, or even that he should have been rejected as
an initiate and not become a padawan. This was something fundamental, as if he
had come about his Force sensitivity dishonestly. Or hadn't been found -
"Your master mentioned yesterday that you didn't grow up on Coruscant," Qui-Gon
began slowly.
Anakin nodded. "I was born and lived for nine years on Tatooine."
Trying to recall what he could about a place named Tatooine - a moon? -- Qui-
Gon paused to let Anakin continue. But the teen wouldn't, not yet, leaving it
up to Qui-Gon to try and drawn him forth a bit more.
"Isn't Tatooine somewhere on the Outer Rim? A desert planet?" But, of course,
Qui-Gon had gotten that information from Obi-Wan's conversation yesterday, not
from his own knowledge.
Still Anakin nodded. And waited.
There were no Jedi training enclaves in the Outer Rim, were hardly even
searches conducted there for likely candidates to be taken in as pre-initiates.
So many of those planets either didn't belong to the Republic, or their
governments turned a blind eye to the Republic's laws. Jedi, as perhaps the
most visible and recognizable enforcer of Republic law, therefore, were never
trusted and rarely welcomed.
"So you weren't found and raised at one of our Temples?"
Another nod.
"Which means you didn't lose your master on the same mission Obi-Wan did?"
Anakin took a deep breath. "I was a slave when Master Mace and Obi-Wan found
me. My mom and I had been owned by a Toydarian to work his shop, but after mom
d-died, I was sold to a Dug because of my mechanical skills. He was a pod
racer," came the further explanation. "And a cheat when his or my skill wasn't
enough for him to win."
Now a sigh that spoke of long ago pain and Qui-Gon didn't even think about not
taking up the boy's hand between his own again.
"For some reason Master Mace and Obi-Wan met with your owner?" he prompted
gently.
"Yeah." Another sigh. "They had made an emergency landing and needed parts to
repair their ship before they could take off again. Watto, the Toydarian who
had owned my mom and me, ran a parts junkyard. He had what they needed, but
wouldn't take Republic credits. They needed to find a way to make money fast,
and on Tatooine, that means gambling. The Hutts run the place," Anakin added.
Which, as he intended, pretty much explained it all.
The Hutts were just as notoriously known for their gambling vices as they were
for their lawlessness.
"Anyway, there was a pod race scheduled, which they bet their ship on. And
lost. But -- I mentioned that Sebulba, my master then, was a cheat?"
It was Qui-Gon's turn to nod. "Well, he had cheated during that race by
sabotaging several of the other racers' pods. This was pretty common for him,
only there had never been a Jedi around when he had done it before, so he had
never gotten caught with proof. A lot of folks were really happy to see him get
caught this time, including Watto, who got me back in his own wager when
Sebulba's things were distributed to pay off those he had cheated."
The hand Qui-Gon still held began to tense. He tightened his grip to give
Anakin something to hold on to.
"A lot of people were just as unhappy Sebulba had been caught, though. They
blamed the Jedi, and wanted some payback of their own. Obi-Wan and Master Mace
were getting the parts they needed, Watto having changed his mind about
accepting their credits since he had come into so much wealth because of their
actions. And some of Sebulba's friends -- or maybe they were just people he
owed who would now never get their money since he'd been banned from racing
after getting caught - well, whoever they were, they attacked. With a bomb of
some sort, or a grenade, anyway, something that got thrown. There was a
tremendous explosion. And because of so many power sources and fuel cells
stored around the shop, the creeps didn't need more than one to set off a whole
series of other explosion."
"But that wasn't how Obi-Wan's master died?"
Still looking down at the table, Anakin shook his head.
"At the time I knew nothing about the Force. I thought Jedi practiced magic.
And I could see it -- the magic around them -- when Obi-Wan and Master Mace
reacted even before the first blast. I didn't know I could do the magic -
access the Force myself. I was scared without knowing why, because I knew I was
going to die. Somehow I was able to draw on the Force even then, and was being
warned about what was going to happen.
But the power was wild, using me instead of me, it. The next thing I remember
was instead of taking hold of the hand Obi-Wan had been offering to get me out
of there, he was being flung through the wall of Watto's shop."
"And you were worrying about my initial reaction to you, Anakin?" Qui-Gon
interrupted, trying to diffuse a little of the tension and guilt that still
gripped the youth. "Getting Obi-Wan - getting any Jedi as your master after a
first impression like that is just as big an accomplishment as what you did
today to keep us from being boarded or destroyed."
Although it hadn't quite come out like Qui-Gon intended, by the other's flush
that was all embarrassment and no guilt, Anakin seemed to have figured out his
meaning: that the teen had to have been pretty special to be able to win over
someone he had nearly killed.
"Yes, well, Master Mace reacted in time to save Obi-Wan, of course. He didn't
know the Force surge had come from me, just used his own abilities to snuff it
out. Which dropped me unconscious too. And so Master Mace was only able to get
the two of us out before the rest of the place went up. With Watto dead, no one
disputed Master Mace's claim of responsibility over me. But I think the Hutts
really just wanted to get the two Jedi off their planet before any more damage
was done, and figured losing one slave was bargain enough. They even threw in
the parts needed for the ship as a bonus along with my papers."
Qui-Gon suspected Anakin had been correct about the Hutts' motivation.
By necessity, his own research had taken him often enough into the Outer Rim to
follow up rumors and oversee excavations of ancient civilizations. While the
Hutts did not control every planet thusly located that did not have Republic
supported governments, they certainly had their slimy hands into most of them.
There wasn't even a word like altruism in the giant slugs' guttural language.
So any favors they might have done for a couple of Jedi had to benefit
themselves more.
"Obi-Wan's master then discovered you were Force sensitive on the trip away
from Tatooine?" Qui-Gon prompted again to get Anakin away from dwelling on a
more than obvious distressing part of his life and back to the subject at hand
- becoming Obi-Wan's padawan.
Anakin blushed. "Obi-Wan knew exactly what he had been hit with in Watto's
shop. When he, ah, regained consciousness a couple of days into the trip, he
told Master Mace."
Given the approximate age of the two now, Obi-Wan would have been around
twenty-three then. A senior padawan, and probably not far from his trials, but
still under his master's authority and likely even more outspoken than his
current reputation, since he hadn't the responsibility of needing to be an
example to his own padawan yet. Qui-Gon could well imagine the nature of how
such a discovery had been mentioned to Master Mace, given how embarrassed
Anakin still was about what had happened.
Something of what he had been thinking must have shown on his face, for Anakin
quickly offered more details.
"Actually, Obi-Wan was pretty forgiving about what I'd done, even then. I know
that was partially because he and his master had other concerns; they were
already overdue in their mission because of the problems that led them to set
down on Tatooine. Anyway, Obi-Wan helped Master Mace with some testing on me in
between all the other things they were trying to take care of on that trip. And
I could tell they were pleased with the results. We finally got to Naboo and
from there I had a pit-crew view of watching them bluff their way through an
orbital blockade, rescue a princess, and ... fight a Sith."
Anakin's tone and expression were too intense for Qui-Gon to make light of the
casually referenced happenings on Naboo. While he was interested in the
details, it was obvious now that Obi-Wan's master had died there, just as it
was obvious that Anakin didn't really want to talk any more about it.
Indeed, the teen suddenly grabbed his hand back from Qui-Gon and stood up.
Instead of going over to check on Obi-Wan as Qui-Gon expected however, Anakin
moved over to the small heating unit and the pot the Jedi Master had started
after bringing Obi-Wan into the medical bay. He poured two drinks and served
Qui-Gon, then began to pace, simply holding his own thermos without drinking.
Qui-Gon decided not to worry about mentioning that it wasn't tea. If Anakin was
old enough to fight a Sith, he was old enough to drink a little liquor.
"Master Mace had told me from the very beginning that I was too old to be
trained to be a Jedi," he started again in a soft voice, not exactly changing
the subject. Perhaps more returning to their original subject, from which Naboo
had been the tangent. "He did think that since I showed an aptitude for
mechanics and flying, he could sponsor me into one of the air corps. He'd also
agreed to work with me on some control over my Force use since he'd seen first
hand what I could do when caught by surprise. Needless to say, I was pretty
happy about my future, and thought he was just about the most wizard person I'd
ever met. I didn't care about being a Jedi, just in being free."
Anakin stopped for a moment in his pacing and shot Qui-Gon a glance although no
comment had been made.
"Okay, I guess in my heart of hearts, I thought it would be pretty wizard to be
a Jedi. Master Mace had spent more than half the travel time training Obi-Wan
and they didn't mind me watching. It was so cool, not only seeing their
lightsabers and what they could do, but that Obi-Wan had healed so quickly from
the damage he had sustained when I had pushed him through the wall. I'd thought
then it was a Jedi thing, not really because of the Force. Obi-Wan explained it
was a bit of both; he'd learned how to heal himself in Jedi training -- though
his master was much better at it -- but could only do it because of the Force.
And I figured if I could learn it, even if somehow other things like the Air-
corps didn't work out -- that even if somehow I ended up being a slave again,
at least I wouldn't die because of some stupid injury and no medical
assistance."
Though the words were left unspoken, it didn't take a Jedi to figure out why
Anakin was so concerned - and so bitter - about lack of attention to an injury.
Softly, "How old were you when your mom died, Anakin?"
"Seven, seven and a half." Anakin shrugged. "She'd been hurt when equipment in
the junkyard fell on her, then got sick from getting hurt. Watto actually did
try to get help for her, though only because an injured slave couldn't do very
much. But the guy he found didn't really know what he was doing, or was too
stupid or drunk to care. She died about a month later."
No doubt Anakin knew exactly how many days it had taken for his mother to pass
into the Force, probably even the number of hours. Qui-Gon found himself
wishing the teen would sit down again so he could offer some form of comfort.
Depending on how long Obi-Wan stayed asleep from Anakin's Force compulsion,
Qui-Gon vowed to make sure Anakin took time for himself and meditations if his
master could not oversee it soon.
"There are times when Master Mace's death hurts worse than my mom's," came a
near whispered confession. "Obi-Wan has never blamed me, but some of the other
masters have - do. Never out loud, of course, and maybe they don't even realize
what they are thinking when they see me, but sometimes I can sense it anyway."
Finally he came back to his chair and slumped down in it.
"And I blame me. I'd been told to stay in hiding, but I just had to follow
them. I wanted to watch. After seeing what Obi-Wan and his master did against
the soldiers and droid fighters when they freed the princess, I couldn't
imagine how one guy could be a threat, not even when he removed his cloak and I
saw he was some sort of horned monster. Not even when he brought up a light
saber too. Or when it became a staff with blades on either end."
Qui-Gon nodded. Few people outside of the Order had ever heard of the Sith.
When so many non-Jedi already feared the Order even though the Jedi only used
their powers for defense and on the behalf of others, it was hard to admit that
the monsters they expected Jedi to be did exist.
"And even when I figured out something was different about the Sith, I didn't
run. I like to think I followed because I thought I could somehow help, not
just because I was excited, but I don't really know anymore. I had managed to
hurt Obi-Wan pretty good before I had any idea of the Force and what it could
do, so surely I could do something to the horned guy now that I did know?"
He looked up as if expecting an answer, but didn't give Qui-Gon opportunity to
comment.
"I never got the chance. I don't know if it was because he could read my
thoughts, or had a way of seeing it anyway, but from almost the very beginning
it was as if the Sith knew that Obi-Wan had been injured recently. That he
wasn't anywhere near as healed as he'd led me to believe."
Even now, Anakin's face held a bit of indignation at the memory. But guilt
overshadowed everything else.
"The monster kept trying to push at Obi-Wan as I had done on Tatooine, kept
thrusting out with his blade or a hand exactly at the places on his body I'd
helped bandage. He was also using the Force to do that, which made Master Mace
angry, especially after the Sith knocked Obi-Wan off the landing they were
fighting on and down a couple of stories to a walkway below. I guess I got
pretty angry too. And scared. I didn't see him do it, but Obi-Wan managed to
get himself back up to the level of the fight. He started to run to catch up
the few hundred yards that separated him from his master and the monster, just
as I came out from my hiding place. The Sith threw some sort of energy attack
against me and I just stood there in complete panic. And like Master Mace had
days earlier in Watto's shop, Obi-Wan had to choose who to help. And who to let
die."
"And he chose you."
Near tears, Anakin sniffed and nodded. "He jumped in front of the stupid
lighting, trying to turn it with his lightsaber like he and Master Mace had
been doing all of the blaster bolts. But it was a lot more powerful than a
blaster bolt. I think M-Master Mace needed to help turn it too, like he had
helped Obi-Wan against my Force ... push, which left Obi-Wan's master open to
the Sith's blade."
Qui-Gon gently put the thermos back into Anakin's hand and encouraged the teen
to take a drink to give them both time to regain their composure.
"I've had just about every one tell me it wasn't my fault," Anakin muttered
into his drink when Qui-Gon would have spoken. "The Soul Healers were quick to
say that if I hadn't been there, Obi-Wan would probably still have been pushed
off the ledge, that he and his master would still have been separated by the
Sith. And that if the Sith had blasted Obi-Wan directly with the lightning
right off instead of at me, Obi-Wan might not have worked so hard to deflect
it, thinking he could just absorb and pass it off like any other energy burst.
From what they think it was, they say it would have killed Obi-Wan. Which would
have still distracted Master Mace and then two Jedi would have been dead with a
Sith running free. And Naboo would be lost to the Dark, or the Trade
Federation, or whoever was really behind the stupid blockade."
Qui-Gon took his own sip. "All very logical conclusions. It would be very easy
to see the hand of the Force guiding you all, from the moment their ship
malfunctioned and made an unscheduled landing on Tatooine and finding you. Many
people would say that your being there saved Naboo."
For a moment there was a rather incongruous smirk on Anakin's face. "The
Princess did," and he blushed clear up to the roots of his sun-streaked blond
hair. "But I wasn't the one who killed the Sith. That was all Obi-Wan."
It was surprisingly innocent how Anakin called his master simply Obi-Wan when
thinking of the days before they had bonded, but went out of his way to make
sure the master was put before the name anytime else he used it.
"For all the horrible stuff I saw on that day, I will never forget - would
never want to forget -- seeing that fight." he offered with a lot more
animation in his face. "He was so wizard! You just couldn't imagine how amazing
Master Mace and Obi-Wan were fighting together. The Sith was probably not much
older than Obi-Wan, was about the same size, and just as acrobatic, if not
more. The things all three of them did were just impossible. Leaps, flips,
jumps, the parries and thrusts. It was so scary, but so beautiful in its own
way."
Qui-Gon kept silent in Anakin's pause, but made sure his expression showed no
censure for this admission either. In some ways he could understand Anakin's
fascination; from what little his own inexpert eye could make out from
yesterday's session, Obi-Wan was more than just a remarkable swordsman. If the
Sith was in the same category, or even better for being older and trained
solely for the task of fighting against a Jedi, it would have been an awesome
sight to witness, no matter the intent or outcome.
"I've watched my master fight since, and he is even better now, but on that day
he absolutely glowed in the Force. After the Sith killed Master Mace, the
monster never had a chance, no matter how many tricks and Force things he tried
to throw. Obi-Wan was mad - furious - and sad, but he was also so focused on
making sure the Sith could never do that again to someone else. I think some of
the masters afterward - and the healers - suspected Obi-Wan had stepped into
the Dark when he killed the Sith, but he hadn't."
Said with absolute conviction and a shadow of the Force in emphasis, but
totally unconsciously.
"I could see his light, can still see it sometimes," Anakin said almost to
himself. "Fortunately, so could the High Council. They came to honor Master
Mace, and said the battle was Obi-Wan's trial, making him a knight even before
he got out of the medical wing set up in the palace for the off-worlders."
"Which left him able to take on an Apprentice." Qui-Gon had to smile.
"Well, it wasn't that easy, but yeah," Anakin blushed. "I know Master Obi-Wan
would have followed his master's plan and found someone else who could have
recommended me for the Air-corps. He had even talked to a few people on Naboo
on my behalf; there were a lot of deaths in that war, a lot of parents who lost
their kids, also a whole lot of people that needed to be replaced, especially
mechanics and pilots. Plus the Princess liked me and said I was a hero."
Another blush.
"But after the Council confirmed he had fought a Sith, Obi-Wan pointed out what
might happen should another Sith find me and decide to train me in their ways
instead of me getting training in the Jedi ways. One of the masters argued
about how unlikely a Sith would ever find me, while he was thinking I was just
too old and would be a nuisance right up until I failed. When another pointed
out how unlikely it was in the first place for there to have been a Sith on
Naboo once, yet that almost insured the likelihood of there being a second, a
third Councilor said I was too old out loud, while she was thinking I had too
much power to ever be controlled. It was kinda funny, hearing them say one
thing and think another, but I was also getting kinda mad. Especially as they
were fighting and arguing when they should have been either celebrating Obi-
Wan's accomplishment, or helping him heal from the battle and his master's
death instead of tiring him out." A bit of residual anger still hovered around
Anakin for that.
"I guess I kinda started pushing, trying to get them to just shut up, if not
leave. And again things got out of hand, cause there was just so much power in
the room with having half the Council in there. Master Obi-Wan was arguing that
the only way someone with my potential could be protected until I could protect
myself was to be trained as a Jedi, while I just wanted to make sure no one
else ever died because of me."
He looked troubled and somewhat guilty again, but at the same time, the words
that followed were fiercely unapologetic. "I had seen Master Mace try to
convince Watto to take Republic credits that first meeting, then saw him later
convince one of the Princess' advisors to get over her hysterics. And I had
seen the Sith try to convince both Master Mace and Obi-Wan to stop fighting, so
I figured convincing people was another Force trick." He suddenly blushed.
"One of the masters in the room was a little green guy. He looked pretty old
and pretty feeble, and hadn't been saying anything, so I figured he wasn't very
important, but that maybe if he also supported Obi-Wan, they would at least go
off and fight about it somewhere else."
A little, green, old and feeble Councilor. While Qui-Gon knew none of them
personally, every Jedi knew of Master Yoda. And while Anakin's description of
his physical attributes was accurate, the teen couldn't have been more mistaken
about the rest. Master Yoda was the most formidable Jedi in the Order, the one
most in tune with the Force, the wisest, the most respected and, while not
officially the head of the Council for they were all equal on paper, in
practice his opinion or actions were never contradicted.
"Needless to say, my bit of compulsion didn't work," Anakin said in all
embarrassment. "Master Yoda knew what I was doing of course, but also knew why.
And he supported me anyway, at least in not bothering Obi-Wan anymore about it
right then." This time when Anakin got up, he did head over toward his master,
but with little of the restlessness or guilt that had been plaguing him
earlier.
"I didn't see the Council again until Obi-Wan was out of the infirmary. They
had held off Master Mace's immolation until Obi-Wan could attend, and it was
after that when Master Yoda told him the Council would allow him to take me as
a padawan if he still had a mind to."
He smoothed back Obi-Wan's hair in a tender gesture, as if their ages and
relationship were reversed. Qui-Gon was struck again with how different both
were from the other Jedi he knew. By Anakin's contradictions in age and
personality. In many ways the teen was as old as his master, certainly in
exposure to the worst that life had to offer, and in his ability to cope. Also
in his willingness to perform his duty even if it went against his orders. But
in other ways he was still a boy, awkward with his emotions and feelings, easy
to excite or anger, traits his peers would have learned to control while Anakin
had still been a slave. Since Anakin didn't really know who or what he as yet -
and certainly not who he was to become -- it was no wonder other masters had
difficulty in relating to him.
Which was quite a shame.
In the next instant, Anakin tossed back the rest of his drink like an old space
hound and looked back over toward Qui-Gon. "I had best get back to overseeing
the repairs."
"How can I help?" Qui-Gon also finished his warmed brandy and rose.
"We don't have any true AI droids, but the servo bots are pretty useful in
diagnostics and simple repairs anyway. If you could go up the bridge and read
off some of the readings to me in engineering, I'm sure we could get everything
back in some kind of order until we can land and replace some of the damaged
systems."
Qui-Gon nodded.
******
Having spent the last eight years as Anakin's master, waking up in a room full
of robots no longer bothered Obi-Wan, or even surprised him. The six - no,
eight - diagnostic machines scattered about the bulkheads of the galley were
not dealing with any visible damage, leaving Obi-Wan to conclude the majority
of the repairs to be finished; at least anything not requiring major refitting
or an external maintenance bay. The bots were now to the `check everything else
for anything' stage. Which meant he'd been in the enforced healing trance much
longer than he'd planned.
Knowing he would have come out of the trance earlier if he hadn't needed it,
Obi-Wan couldn't fault Anakin for what his padawan had done. And being overly
protective was Anakin's usual response to a brush with danger. Not that Obi-Wan
was too different in that for his padawan, himself. But the ship had sustained
enough damage that his help would have been useful, not to mention it being his
turn or past his turn on the bridge. Hopefully Master Jinn - Qui-Gon - had
stepped into that and any other role Ani might have needed from another.
Obi-Wan sighed, and then relegated his regret to the back of his mind and the
Force. What was done was done, and there was no use stressing about something
the others had quite forcibly taken out of his hands. Had his padawan really
needed him, he had no doubt no Sith nor even the Chosen One could have kept
Obi-Wan from responding.
He unwebbed himself and rolled carefully from the medical diagnostic bed,
clutching the blanket to him not because of his nudity, but because of how cold
the room was, especially to his bare feet. Partial gravity had been restored,
but whether that was indicative of systems not yet back to one hundred percent,
or Anakin's preference, he wasn't sure. Even without a view screen he could
tell they were back in hyperspace, of course, thanks to the persistent headache
and vertigo.
Bad for him, but good for the mission. He didn't even want to think about how
much time they'd already lost because of the attack, or what would be needed to
make it up in order to arrive at least near their schedule.
And that was assuming the ship wasn't too damaged to handle constant hyperspace
travel.
He needed to check on that, to make a call to the Council to let them know of
the attack and of the potential for serious delay. But first Obi-Wan figured
he'd better check on his own battle damage. The reaction to hyperspace was
overwhelming any other pains he still felt, but part of that was also because
the puncture wound in his shoulder had closed and was well on its way to
healing. The skin tightened and pulled awkwardly as he flexed it, but then so
did his neck and other shoulder. That was the bigger source of discomfort, the
whiplash, but even it was well on its way to healing. And he could hurry it up
a bit.
The cargo bay aft of the galley had been outfitted as a training salon, and
that was what Obi-Wan needed now after assuring himself through their training
link that Anakin was still fine on his own. Loosening his stiffened muscles and
damaged tendons now would aid him in maintaining a watch on the bridge later.
Plus he needed to know his limitations, needed to judge his fitness to continue
the mission. Or at least consider if he needed to turn the lead over to Qui-
Gon.
Just as he had his responsibility for his padawan.
Doing katas in the nude was not a pastime Obi-Wan frequently indulged in, but
he put aside consideration of the appropriateness of doing so when there were
others about out of his mind, much as he did the coldness of the environment.
This way he would also be able to observe the damage his body had sustained
from his reflection off the bulkheads.
He carefully sank down onto the blanket he'd been using to cover himself; he
needed to stretch before beginning even the simplest of warm-up katas, and saw
no reason to make himself even more uncomfortable by sitting directly on the
cold deck.
His shoulder protested the first extension and Obi-Wan couldn't contain a sharp
hiss, but then that was one of the good things about using this space for
training. Sound proof - even Force proof if he turned on a shield generator. He
could rant and rage all he needed without alarming his meditative or sleeping
padawan. Or Qui-Gon, whom he sensed on the bridge, once Obi-Wan insured the
communication panel was set to a passive alert. Any signal Qui-Gon might now
send would require Obi-Wan to walk over to the panel to respond, but that was
better than dragging the other master down here in a false impression of
urgency.
Stiff, sore and feeling quite battered by the time he finished, Obi-Wan also
felt a strong measure of relief to have been able to get through all but the
most strenuous portions of his normal workout. Because of his shoulder he'd
stayed away from most of the aerial jumps and flips in his repertory; for that
he'd wait until he had someone to spot for him.
Simply picking up the blanket when he was done, Obi-Wan dragged himself back to
his cabin and the dubious comfort of the sonic shower within. While he
preferred water showers over sonics, at least this way he wouldn't have to
worry about soaking his bandages or needing them replaced. Well, assuming he
ignored the fresh blood that had soaked through. Of course it and the earlier
grime that Qui-Gon had mostly cleaned away would be taken care of by the
sonics, so he really didn't need to worry, since the bleeding had again
stopped.
Once inside his quarters, he found that Anakin had set out a fresh set of
clothes for him, and cleaned his boots. Obi-Wan sent another mental tendril to
his padawan, this one filled with love and gratitude even though it would only
be perceived by Ani's subconscious.
His padawan took much better care of him than he ever had his own master,
though Mace had never complained nor truly had any reason to. Part of Ani's
solicitude, Obi-Wan knew, was left over training from being a slave. It had
bothered him greatly at first to be so waited on. But once he found out that
Anakin didn't do it because he felt he needed to -- that his padawan didn't
fear he would be dismissed or replaced should he not prove valuable enough -
- and that it wasn't even misplaced gratitude for being rescued from his
slavery, Obi-Wan had been able to accept that Anakin genuinely enjoyed taking
care of his master because it was his decision to do so.
In and out of the bathing cubicle quickly, Obi-Wan drew on his tunics and
leggings. The soft leather boots went on last, but he relished the feel of them
as much as he did feeling clean. They had been given to him by one of the
Hyraatu, for Obi-Wan's apparent intercession with their gods. Whether his aid
had truly been necessary, and whether it had been their gods who had finally
granted the life-giving rains that saved a small nomadic tribe from starvation
or simply exquisite timing, these boots had become Obi-Wan's miracle.
He had never found out what type of animal the hide had come from, or how the
shaman had managed to fit them so precisely when Obi-Wan and he had never come
into direct contact during the course of the three months Obi-Wan had been with
the Hyraatu. All he did know was that although he'd had them for five years so
far, they failed to show any sign of wear or tear. They were also waterproof,
climate sensitive, and the most comfortable things he owned outside his
lightsaber.
Obi-Wan finally felt ready to face Qui-Gon, and to do his duty to the Council.
He grabbed the cloak that Anakin had also thoughtfully pulled out of his trunk
for him and strode toward the bridge. And found that not only was Qui-Gon ably
managing his piloting duties, but was just finishing up a communication with
the Temple and the High Council. Obi-Wan held back at the hatchway unnoticed
and watched, not wanting to countermand anything Qui-Gon had already done, and
also more than a little curious to see how the other master handled his first
mission briefing with those he seemed in awe of.
Obi-Wan was unsurprised to see Master Yoda there, the ancient green
troublemaker had taken an even more personal interest in Obi-Wan's life after
his master's death. Plo Koon was also present, as the architect of the mission
and, Obi-Wan knew, just as much because the Kel Dorian had almost always stayed
involved in missions his best friend participated in, and now that friend's
padawan as he became a knight.
Being the source of such constant observation by members of the Jedi High
Council had bothered Obi-Wan early in his relationship with his master, but
once he had found out Mace had actually been part of the Council until he had
taken Obi-Wan as his padawan, it hadn't been as surprising. Only interminably
embarrassing and damn hard to live up to. Until he had grown up enough to
realize that the Councilors were Jedi just like all of the others, maybe a
little more experienced, hopefully a little wiser and more in tune with the
Force, but fallible and prone to make the occasional blunder all the same.
He liked Master Yoda quite a bit, even if the little troll did like to
interfere in the lives of his favorites, and he'd had his first crush - like so
many other padawans - on Master Adi Gallia. That he had also gotten his first
kiss from the beautiful Councilor from Corellia was a secret only the two of
them knew, now that his master was dead. Anakin would be envious as well as
unsettled if he ever found out.
Master Gallia was not one of the Council Qui-Gon was reporting to this time,
but both other female Councilors were present, Masters Yaddle and Depa Billaba.
And from years of observing his master making reports, and then his own, Obi-
Wan knew that the two women were just as impressed with Qui-Gon Jinn's
resourcefulness and willingness to step in to assist as Obi-Wan was.
"Fortunate and pleased, Master Jinn, are we in your assistance and presence on
this mission," Master Yoda was finishing up. "More pleased, I think, is young
Kenobi, hmm?"
Obi-Wan gave a strangled groan and blushed a furious red at this evidence that
at least Master Yoda had caught his arrival on camera. And then blushed even
deeper to see the soft smile on Qui-Gon's face when the Master turned to
acknowledge Obi-Wan before turning back to the Council.
"No more pleased than I am, Masters," Qui-Gon responded. "I thank the Force and
the High Council's wisdom in allowing me to assist in the mission."
Obi-Wan could live with Qui-Gon thinking Master Yoda was simply talking of Qui-
Gon's opportune presence on board the ship during the attack and the aftermath,
but he knew better. The oldest living Jedi was almost as bad as Anakin when it
came to Obi-Wan's private life. Or lack thereof.
Yes, Obi-Wan had plans for getting to know Qui-Gon better, but didn't think he
needed anyone else's help to do that. Which he sent through the Force to the
little troll though, of course, this distance and their relationship wasn't
close enough. Even so, Master Yoda's ears raised up a little, as if in response
to Obi-Wan's warning, or perhaps just Qui-Gon's ... innocence.
"Wise we are, wiser still is the Force. Listen to it you both must if this
mission you will complete. Go now in peace and may the Force be with you all."
"You were right, they really aren't quite as ... intimidating as I thought,"
Qui-Gon offered as he shut down communications and took the opportunity to
check over the control board before turning to face Obi-Wan again. "Well,
actually they are intimidating, but not so much when dealing with them
individually. It's only when you think of what they are faced with in directing
all of the Jedi in the field. I'm only surprised all of the positions aren't
temporary. To live with that level of responsibility ...
"It is no more, really, than you had with your padawan, or with your library
postings," Obi-Wan countered. "Each decision we make affects others, as
collectively we affect worlds. The Force and the Code bind us, not the Council.
They are simply there to properly allocate the Order's resources." He moved
further into the room, and didn't protest when Qui-Gon rose and helped him over
to the co-pilot's seat when he faltered upon giving an automatic look out the
view port. The streaking lights of hyperspace were not at all good for his
headache.
"Would you mind if I blanked the view ports?" he asked, only just managing not
to close his eyes and give Qui-Gon yet one more reason to worry. Or doubt his
fitness, a tiny voice in the back of his brain jabbered in insecurity.
"Of course," Qui-Gon said immediately, and then did the deed before Obi-Wan
could. "Anakin mentioned something of your difficulty."
Obi-Wan's smile wasn't exactly filled with humor. But he supposed he should be
grateful to his padawan once again. He certainly hadn't been up to telling Qui-
Gon what was happening, even when the master had not only the right, but also
the need to know.
"Thank you for helping him," Obi-Wan offered in all sincerity even if he did
use the words and feelings to put off further explanations for just a little
while longer. "And for helping me." He wanted it to sound like flirting, but it
had been too many years and, frankly, his head hurt just a little too much for
him to try and add wittiness to simply staying awake. Oh, but how he needed to
meditate!
"It was my pleasure."
Qui-Gon's smile was the warmth and openness that had first attracted Obi-Wan.
When he lifted his hand to cup the side of Obi-Wan's face, Obi-Wan wasn't sure
if he was happy or frustrated to feel a tendril of healing energy focused in
those fingertips instead of the caress he expected. No matter the motivation,
he couldn't help but lean into the touch a little. And this time he did let his
eyes close.
"Is it always like this for you in hyperspace?" came Qui-Gon's question, his
voice as soft as his touch.
Obi-Wan bit his lip to keep from moaning from the other's gentleness. "It's
only this bad because of the choppy translation."
"But there is always pain?"
Pulling away a little, Obi-Wan tilted his head right and left to at least work
out the resumed tension in his neck. "There is always some discomfort. But not
generally pain. It's ..." He paused and looked around, trying to come up with a
way to explain his rather unique connection with the Unifying field of the
Force. No doubt Master Yoda felt some of the same type of dislocation when he
traveled, just as that was no doubt a good part of the reason the ancient
rarely left Coruscant even though the city-wide planet jangled against his
strong connection to the Living Force. At least he had had over seven hundred
years to get used to both feelings.
"The problem stems from not always being able to control my prescience," he
tried again. "My ability is apparently uncommonly strong, and combined with my
affinity more for the Unifying Force ..." He shrugged. "Well, as an example,
take the thermos," and he picked up the red ceramic container off of its holder
next to the control board.
"Now, I can sense Ani used it, and in normal space that's it, unless I direct a
Force probe. In hyperspace, however, I can't help but see it - all of it.
Unless I am actively blocking, I can see all the things that can happen to this
thermos from my action of picking it up: setting it down again, taking it away,
handing it to you, dropping it and it breaks, dropping it and it doesn't break
and so on. And as in using a Force probe, my mind wants to calculate the
likelihood of each possibility. But in hyperspace, all possibilities are equal
and every option branches out into multiple paths - an infinite number of
paths. Sometimes it is all I can do to keep my awareness of the real moment."
The fingers against his face exerted a bit of pressure, but not uncomfortably.
A moment worthy to focus on, although even consciously he was tempted to let
the potentials in this closeness spread out before him. One or two would no
doubt be worth exploring --
"And you can't turn this off?"
Giving up any pretense that he didn't want the other's solicitude and comfort
to continue, Obi-Wan leaned further into Qui-Gon's touch. And into his sheer
presence. The Jedi Master was a deep, still pool of calm, which Obi-Wan needed
badly right now.
"Meditation helps, as does any narrowing of my focus like piloting. All I need
to do is narrow the patterns from something infinite to finite." Obi-Wan felt a
deprecating smile coming on at how easy he made it sound. The smile then spread
when Qui-Gon - unconsciously, Obi-Wan decided - traced the curve of his lips.
"I imagine it isn't easy at all," Qui-Gon echoed his thoughts.
Obi-Wan nodded. "Not only are all possible futures open to me, but in
hyperspace, all of time's boundaries also fall. So I can see not only what
might happen to the thermos, but also what would have happened to it if it had
been glazed blue instead of red. Or made of glass." He sighed and set the
container back down. "Having this awareness is great when fighting, when
defending against some aggressor -"
"Anakin says you are a very good fighter, perhaps the order's best."
Obi-Wan felt the heat rise in his face, becoming more embarrassed that Qui-Gon
would also feel his flush through his gentle fingertips in addition to seeing
it. "Anakin is still very young and inexperienced in the field. Yes, I seem to
have a talent for fighting but I've also been lucky to be able to do what duty
demands and survive, that's all. And yes, because of my ability to read
patterns," he continued immediately when Qui-Gon would have protested or said
something more. "I can predict what my opponent is most likely to do and be
reacting even before they complete the action, so I also appear better able to
handle myself than most."
"To be able to control and use such an ability is astounding, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon
praised. "And you would be invaluable on archeological digs - in being able to
find things in general."
Obi-Wan gave a little laugh. "It wasn't always that way, I assure you. No doubt
I hold the record for any padawan on how often I misplaced my master's things.
Actually, it wasn't really until his death on Naboo," he continued soberly,
"that I could exert any control outside of training sessions with Master Yoda.
I used it in the battle with the Sith, trying to find anything to help overcome
my fear of facing the creature that had bested my master." The short laugh he
gave this time held no humor what so ever.
"There are times I feel using this ability in a battle is almost cheating, but
not then. I would have done anything short of calling on the Dark to make sure
that Sith would never be able to hurt someone again."
"A padawan, like a child, should always outlive his parent, Obi-Wan. I am sure
your master is much more content to have been the one to fall instead of it
being your life cut short." And Qui-Gon's hand moved around to cup the back of
Obi-Wan's neck, much as Mace used to do to offer comfort.
Obi-Wan took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I know. I completely agree
with that kind of thinking when it comes to Anakin. I don't think I could
survive outliving him."
"He is a good lad and an outstanding pilot. A fine testament to his master."
And with that Qui-Gon seemed to finally realize that he had been touching Obi-
Wan almost the entire conversation. He dropped his hand abruptly, but Obi-Wan
didn't let him pull completely back.
"Are you interested in seeing what the patterns are like?" Obi-Wan offered,
taking up his own grip around Qui-Gon's fingers.
Qui-Gon nodded.
Obi-Wan took another deep breath, this time holding it to just past the start
of discomfort before letting it slowly out. He didn't do this type of sharing
often, not even with Anakin, and was used to doing it only with Master Yoda.
But he could feel the inquisitiveness of Qui-Gon's mind, the compulsion to
learn about everything, even if the other couldn't fully understand or ever
master the knowledge. No doubt this thirst for learning was what had led Qui-
Gon to his chosen field of study, led to him being asked to head his own temple
at such a young age, and had him now jumping at the chance to get back into the
field when the opportunity presented itself.
Realizing he had centered a little more on his companion than in his own self,
Obi-Wan drew in yet another breath, then began to lower his shields while
reaching for the thermos again. They actually wouldn't need the tactile contact
between their hands if Qui-Gon was at all adept at interfacing himself, but it
would help the focus, and allow the contact to be broken when the hold ended.
He would just have to -
In the instant Qui-Gon began lowering his own shields, their two minds rushed
together as if they had been doing this with each other all their lives. Obi-
Wan hadn't even reached the container yet, hadn't tried to direct the sensing
before it engulfed them both. With images of themselves. Together in a
multitude of futures. Together in a past that never happened -
You were angry with the other boy. I sensed anger in both of you --
It is better not to train a boy to become a knight if he has so much anger.
There is the risk he will turn to the Dark Side --
No, I'm sorry, Obi-Wan, but I will not take you as my padawan --
No Padawan. I will not make your betrayal easy for you. If you try to take this
step, know what a hard one this is --
Know that if you stay, you are no longer a Jedi --
A dark coldness in his bones, in his mind that even the bright spark of his
former padawan couldn't counter. But there was another, a steady, solid comfort
that promised to banish the darkness and the cold that had been wrapped around
his heart long before the specter reached for his body --
A face, too close to make out features but those welcoming lips known just the
same. Light and love, but also lust and desire. Nothing placid, no calm, no
control. He wanted to devour and be devoured, to ground and grind himself
within the strength and endless power of the other, to let his own passion flow
like quicksilver through them and melt their selves into something new,
something together as one --
******
The chaos of his master's thoughts had Anakin up out of his bed and running
through the passageway toward the bridge before the teen had even registered he
was awake. He scrambled over one of his remote diagnostic units and threw
himself through the hatchway, barely noting Master Jinn turning at his
approach, not at all noticing the other master's shock and consternation as he
raced forward.
Some part of Anakin's brain registered that Master Jinn wasn't doing anything
to his master, that Obi-Wan was making no effort to pull away from the other
man. In fact it was his master holding onto Master Jinn and not the other way
around. His master's hands were bloodless from his grip on Master Jinn, though,
and Anakin could see that although his master's eyes were open they were
unseeing or seeing something that wasn't there. He reached out with his own
hands to break their connection, hoping to snap his master out of the vision.
And found himself caught up within the maelstrom, his very presence
strengthening it. Changing it ...
Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi -
An Apprentice you already have Qui-Gon -
Noooooooooooo --
You are my angel -
You knew she was mine, that she loved me! How could you --
What is thy bidding, my Master --
How feel you now, Masters? Which of us has too much fear now -
The circle is now complete --
******
Even with both padawan and master unconscious, Qui-Gon couldn't separate their
hands until he applied the Force. Of course, his own hands were shaking so much
in reaction that it wasn't surprising that he couldn't seem to make them work.
He looked to Anakin first, as it had been the teen that had screamed from the
visions flitting too quickly through Qui-Gon's inner eye for him to have really
made out what was seen. He had felt the hopelessness though, the despair.
The Darkness.
Anakin's aura still flared with little pockets of distress, but already his
breathing and heart rate were beginning to slow down to more normal speeds. And
he had not injured himself in his collapse; Obi-Wan had somehow managed to come
far enough out of his seat before his own loss of consciousness to insure his
padawan fell onto him instead of the metal deck plates.
Which meant Qui-Gon could turn his attention now to Obi-Wan - his Obi-Wan
according to so many of those first visions between just the two of them. Qui-
Gon wasn't sure if he was angry about the seeming inevitability of a
relationship between them, or pleased and flattered that the Force - and Obi-
Wan - saw it as a foregone conclusion.
Undeniably they had both felt a pull, an attraction toward one another from
their first meeting. Were they anyone but Jedi, no doubt this first full day in
each other's company would have led to beds and a closeness of another kind
instead of medical examinations and treatment. And just as likely, were they
not Jedi, it would be over within a few more days. But as a Jedi's commitment
was forever to the Force, so, too, quite often were their commitments to each
other. Whether as master and padawan, partners, or lovers. The attraction
wouldn't have really happened in the first place if there wasn't a better than
average chance it would last.
Qui-Gon gathered Obi-Wan up into his arms and lap, setting them back into the
pilot's chair while he used the Force to lift Anakin up into the co-pilot's. He
wasn't sure taking either of the pair back to Medical or even their cabins
would particularly help them come out of their psychic overload, nor was he
comfortable with the thought of leaving either of them alone for even a few
minutes. His own awareness of potentialities through the Force didn't have him
believing either would experience further distress - at least not lasting -
- but he didn't want to take such a conviction for granted. Not when the
consequences of being wrong could be catastrophic.
And not when he felt such an overwhelming streak of protectiveness for them
both.
Not unexpectedly, Obi-Wan began to stir first. Qui-Gon tightened his hold
around the smaller man so that any sudden movement wouldn't end up with Obi-Wan
dumped on the floor, but quickly loosened it when he sensed Obi-Wan regain
total awareness.
"Ani -"
"He's right here," Qui-Gon whispered quickly into the soft hair that rested
against his shoulder, and pulled a little with the Force to bring Anakin's hand
to where Obi-Wan could feel it. He didn't fear the two touching again; were
what had happened a common problem, Obi-Wan would never have been allowed to
take a padawan no matter whose last wish it had been. Indeed, Obi-Wan would
never have passed his knighthood trials or even likely been chosen as a padawan
should something like this have occurred when he was still being trained
himself.
Qui-Gon could feel Obi-Wan relax upon connecting with his padawan, then felt
him relax even further into Qui-Gon's chest when the master would have expected
the knight to pull away upon realizing he was being held.
"Thank you," Obi-Wan breathed into Qui-Gon's chest, not even lifting his head.
And not just thanking him for looking out again for Anakin.
Qui-Gon felt a swell of warmth to be so trusted in seeing another's
vulnerability. Especially someone he hardly knew yet.
"I think we know enough," and he could feel Obi-Wan's lopsided smile to go
along with the answer to his unspoken thoughts. "Our minds recognized each
other enough to meld seamlessly, despite standard shielding. And while my
imagination and fantasy life is pretty good, it's not that good," came with a
ghosting of shared images again. Of flesh and frantic coupling, of passion and
desire and satiation. Of love.
"Well, there is knowing someone, and then knowing someone," Qui-Gon stammered
back. Yet he didn't turn away when Obi-Wan lifted his head. His lips. Qui-Gon
leaned down but let the other direct the kiss, happy in feeling the desire
along with the softness and warmth. And another one of those maddening grins
beginning to break out beneath his own lips.
"Hi, I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight and sometimes reckless fool," the gilt
satyr breathed into Qui-Gon's parting lips before darting a tongue forward for
just the briefest of tastes.
Qui-Gon let his own laughter rumble through his chest, then deepened the kiss
and took more than a taste himself. "I'm Qui-Gon Jinn," he finally managed
between deep breaths taken to regain control of his emotions. And body. "Jedi
researcher, librarian and apparently, a hopeless romantic." Then his control
fled when Obi-Wan shifted, moving to straddle Qui-Gon's lap so that they might
better be able to see one another. And feel one another.
"Do you ever resent the knowing?" Qui-Gon then asked, in part to get his mind
off of what a lapful of Jedi knight was doing to his own body even as he was
hyper aware that Obi-Wan was using their connection and the knight's own
arousal to distance himself from what they'd seen.
"When there is someone like you at the end of it, how could I?" came the answer
before words dissolved into another kiss. Obi-Wan shifted a little once more,
bringing their chests and hips closer. He suddenly smiled, and Qui-Gon could no
longer breathe, could no longer worry that they were both avoiding what had
happened. Or even that Anakin was unconscious next to them.
This time after they parted, Obi-Wan's eyes stayed shining even as his smile
faded. "It's not like I have that many spontaneous visions of some foregone
future," he finally responded to what had really been asked. "And I've never
felt locked into any particular fate." Another heart-stopping smile. "Well, any
fate I didn't want to embrace."
"Good word choice," Qui-Gon breathed against Obi-Wan's neck as he leaned
forward to taste other parts of Obi-Wan's soft and warm skin. He was willing to
put off the glimpse of Darkness too, to indulge in a much more pleasurable
exchange of emotions and sensations for a bit longer.
"For the most part, I s-simply have an idea of t-the consequences of any action
I take - or knowledge of the r-re-rewards."
Rewards indeed. Suckling on the flesh beneath Obi-Wan's ear was producing a
delightful number of reactions in them both. But then Obi-Wan pushed him away
and Qui-Gon didn't protest. They separated a little, putting a few inches
between them though Obi-Wan still stayed on his lap. And within his arms.
"I certainly didn't know ahead of time that my master was going to be killed by
a Sith," at that Obi-Wan dropped his gaze to their laps and tucked his hands
one in the other. "Or that my padawan would nearly be killed on our last
mission. Not even that I was going to meet you on this one." Here Obi-Wan
looked up with an all too quickly fleeting smile that Qui-Gon echoed.
"I'd be a gibbering idiot if I knew the Future. Nor would I be able to get out
of bed if Ani's and my future lay as I saw when he touched me."
Qui-Gon had barely made out the final words, but had no trouble hearing the
residual horror underlying them. He leaned forward until his forehead touched
Obi-Wan's, and kneaded his hands against the rising tension in the knight's
shoulders. "I didn't really see most of the final vision myself," he prompted.
"That was because you were dead in that timeline," Obi-Wan laughed harshly. "We
basically were all dead, the entire Order. It was a vision of what could have
happened had you been my master instead of Mace Windu." His voice dropped to a
hoarse whisper.
"You had rejected me for Ani, then forced me to take on the responsibility of
training him when you died at the hands of the Sith," came the stark
explanation. "We never worked out our differences, never truly admitted what we
meant to one another and so I failed in my duty as Anakin's master, training
not a Jedi, but my own executioner. Because he couldn't reach me, Ani reached
for another - a Sith - and together we three destroyed the Jedi and all things
light save for one tiny spark of hope."
Obi-Wan was shaking as he finished. Qui-Gon slid his hands from Obi-Wan's
shoulders to down his back, pulling the younger man completely within his arms
to surround him with warmth and light. But Obi-Wan resisted, or Qui-Gon wasn't
reaching him.
"How can I help Ani through this when all I can see is his lightsaber raised
against me?"
This time Qui-Gon ghosted his lips across the crown of Obi-Wan's head as he
placed one hand under the ginger hair to cradle Obi-Wan's neck. He placed his
other hand under Obi-Wan's tunic, touching the skin that pulsed with the
knight's heartbeat. "By living in this moment. And each one as it comes,
instead of a future that will not be. By knowing that Ani loves you as you do
him, that I could easily grow to love you and will never ask more of you than
you can or will give."
"That wasn't us," Obi-Wan breathed into Qui-Gon's chest. "That didn't - won't -
- happen ...
"Not that, not like that," Qui-Gon agreed. "You are Anakin's master and his
friend, and have already helped him past the first of the vision. But you
cannot make his future choices for him, nor protect him from ever having to
choose. Neither can the Force, visions or not. You can only help him find the
peace to make his choices. That is all any of us can do for one another,
whether father, master, friend or lover."
Obi-Wan nodded. "We choose our own futures."
"Our focus becomes our reality. The Force shows us potentials, but it is up to
each of us to accept or reject them." Qui-Gon lifted the hand he held against
Obi-Wan's chest and brought up under Obi-Wan's chin until they met each other's
eyes. "I was not your master, but very much hope that I am becoming your
friend. And I would not be adverse to becoming something more. But on our own
terms. And at our own time. And not because somewhere, some when, we could have
been something different."
Another nod. "I was attracted to you before the Force showed us what could be
or could have been."
Qui-Gon felt a warmth blossoming in his own chest at those words. "As was I.
And as, I fear, your padawan is well aware of."
"Which means he is going to be insufferably pleased once he figures out you and
I have ... talked. But he and I must also talk. " And Obi-Wan began to
extricate himself from Qui-Gon's embrace and lap.
Though he would have been content for them to stay as they were, Qui-Gon let
Obi-Wan go. If the vision, the Force, and Qui-Gon's own intuition meant
anything, Obi-Wan would be back.
***** Chapter 4 *****
PART TWO
1.
Erinne was everything Master Obi-Wan had promised - and worse. Ground clearance
to land had taken hours, even though Jedi had been expected, even though they
had damn near ruined their ship insuring they arrived in system on time. Once
they had gotten clearance, it was only after being diverted to a spaceport
almost a hundred miles away from the government officials who had requested
them. At least they weren't going to have to walk the distance, as his master
often insisted `to get a candid feel for the people they were here to help';
not even he would make Anakin walk in the awful mixture of snow and rain that
the teen stood huddled against his master and within his robe trying to avoid.
This was the first time Anakin found reason to be unhappy with the growth spurt
that had shot him up taller than his master. Instead of being able to shelter
himself from the elements behind his master's body, he was doing more of the
sheltering. Which in its own way was kind of nice, since he so rarely could
offer his master any comfort but that which was expected from a padawan.
But it was too wet, despite his robe and drawn hood. And cold!
"Cast your thoughts on how it felt on Tatooine, Anakin," came the suggestion
from his master in response to Anakin's shivering and chattering teeth.
"Remember the feel of the sun against your skin, the light against your closed
eyelids and the warmth that sank down into your bones. Your body remembers,
remembers its own responses to the heat and can feel them again if you let it."
Anakin kept any groan he might have wanted to voice silent. Normally so quick
to pick up almost everything his master showed or taught him, control of his
body at the molecular level - like trying to learn to speak Kashhyk'ka -- was
one of the exceptions. Pure cold he could manage better. But rain or humidity
was about so much more than temperature. They offered substance instead of just
energy, a ... wetness that he feared would always make him uncomfortable, even
if the rest of his environment was near perfect. Like baths. He had never
understood his master finding comfort in submerging his body in water, when
sonics worked more quickly and efficiently.
"That's because you are not a hedonist, my padawan. Which is not a bad thing
for a Jedi, as long as you don't grow to feel you are being deprived."
The transparentness of his thoughts didn't surprise Anakin; he was much more
concerned with conserving energy than expending it in tight shielding. Since
their unexpected merging had given them a glimpse of a dark alternate future,
however, master and padawan hadn't done more than keep light tabs across the
link to each other's emotional state, so he was a still a little uncomfortable
and concerned with what else his master might be picking up. On the other hand,
while he appreciated the mental distance he was being given, he was also glad
this wasn't completely stopping his master from anticipating his thoughts as
well as moods.
"How long do they expect us to wait this time?" Already most of an hour had
passed since their landing. If Anakin had any idea they would be expected to
wait so long out in the rain for their transport, he would have found more
things to do in locking down the ship.
"You know the storm over the Capitol has grounded all air traffic, Padawan."
Well, yeah. That was why they were here instead of where they were supposed to
be. But that didn't excuse the fact that there were no facilities set up here
for their or anyone else's arrival. If he didn't know any better, Anakin would
have guessed they had simply been sent to a surface area big enough to
accommodate their ship instead of a true landing port.
"No doubt that is also slowing the arrival of our escort," his master was
continuing. "Erinne gets few off-worlders visiting and so has few facilities or
accommodations."
Well, no wonder, with all the bloody rain! "Even Mos Espa has ground cars or
speeders at their space ports to be rented," Anakin found himself muttering.
"Which are at a premium prior to the sand storms, assuming you can find a
driver for them in the first place," he was reminded with remarkable patience.
Anakin didn't want patience. He wanted to be warm.
"I could drive anything they'd have to offer," he snapped back even though he
knew his master hadn't meant anything by the driver remark.
"Driving in such a storm is akin to pod racing, Anakin," came the level
response, still without any censure. "Although the speeds aren't the same,
because of the limited visibility you still have to react almost without
thought. And yes, I know you can and have handled simulations with ground-based
vehicles over a variety of terrains and conditions, but you do not have the
experience maneuvering over ice. I'm not sure even I have enough experience to
take us into a storm already this bad."
Any insult Anakin might have taken had been defused; his master was a more than
fair pilot yet had practically given up the practice to allow Anakin the duty
when they weren't having to rely on a third party to get them where they needed
to be. Now Anakin had guilt as well as cold to make him cranky.
And to try and dispel within the Force.
He couldn't help but scowl under his hood.
Dark, wet, cold and windy already, how much worse could it get? Anakin was
beginning to think Hoth would have been better. Yes, it got colder and snow got
into everything, but the planet's sun did deign to shine on Hoth anyway. And
despite the snow, it seemed a dryer environment overall, except in the midst of
a blizzard.
"If you wish, Anakin, we can trade places," Master Jinn offered.
Tempting, quite tempting.
True, Master Jinn stood out even more in the rain than Anakin did himself; the
awning they stood under was barely big enough for one, much less the three of
them. He'd be trading some rain for a steady downpour. But he would also be
more out of the wind that didn't get blocked very well by his master's shorter
stature. And his cloak was supposed to be fully waterproof, so long as he
didn't move and allow it to seep in through the openings --
But that would also put Master Jinn between Anakin and his master. Which
wouldn't really be a problem, just ... wrong. Except Master Obi-Wan might
appreciate it. A definite friendship had developed between the two over the
last few of days.
Not that his master and Master Jinn had much of an opportunity to work on that
friendship that he had seen. All throughout the four full days it had taken
them to finally reach Erinne, Anakin could think of only a handful of hours his
master hadn't been near him, save for time spent sleeping and in meditation.
And even in meditation, they had done so together more than apart.
It should have been stifling to have so much of his master's attention. At home
on Coruscant, Anakin had his classes, labs and free time to keep the two of
them close, but apart. On missions he was often set to run errands or stay with
the ship as pilot, depending on the circumstances. Even when at his master's
side during a negotiation or ceremony, they weren't often alone. Not just the
two of them, not as they had been on the Udan Orr over the last four days as
Master Jinn had purposely stayed out of their way.
Yet instead of stifling, Anakin had found comfort in this unexpected closeness.
Were he insecure, he might have suspected his master trying to make up in
advance for some future slighting - perhaps because his master had also
recognized that Master Jinn was going to become part of their lives. But Anakin
hadn't doubted his place in his master's life since their first moment of
bonding nor any time since. Including now. Master Obi-Wan was his best friend
as well as his master.
And regardless, Anakin had learned quite early in his life how to be
independent and entertain himself, so he didn't expect or want his master to
live his life solely for his padawan in the first place. It was their
differences as well as their similarities that made their friendship so strong,
and kept their lives from falling into some form of dull routine.
So why had he clung to his master's attention these last four days, even more
than he had ever clung to his mother when he had been no more than a boy?
As if summoned, the image rose up in Anakin's mind again, the monster that was
more machine than flesh, soulless and all Dark. The monster that was still him
despite the name change. And change in masters. In faith, philosophy --
"No, Ani!"
Anakin suddenly found himself wrapped up against his master's body, two gloved
hands gripping his head gently despite the fierceness of the other's expression
and ringing tones. In desperation Anakin melted both physically and mentally
into the warmth his master represented. Smaller though his master might now be,
he still had the strength to hold them both up -- physically, mentally and
emotionally.
"That is not you, Ani. That will never become you," his master's words
whispered in his ears and in his mind.
"H-how can you be sure?"
"Because you are my padawan, and because I love you."
Anakin didn't struggle when his head was pulled down, then he didn't pull away
from the vibrant green of belief, truth, trust and confidence in his master's
eyes.
"That Obi-Wan had no capacity to love and so could not inspire his padawan's,"
came more whispered conviction. "He was broken, flawed, and simply passed on
his own faults to that Anakin right alongside any lessons. He trained his
Anakin only out of demand and duty, not faith or affection."
Unspoken between them lay the others in the visions. A Master Yoda who had
disapproved instead of encouraged and supported the pairing, a Council and
Order who feared that Anakin but, unlike the real ones, made no effort to get
past the fear or even acknowledge its existence. There had also been a woman,
an angel who bore a passing resemblance to the Princess Obi-Wan and his former
master had been protecting when Anakin had first met the two. She had somehow
come between that master and that padawan despite the one who had been reason
that Obi-Wan had been broken and unable to show even his padawan any love. The
one who had been that Qui-Gon Jinn. A very dead Qui-Gon Jinn.
Who in reality was not only very much alive, but was quietly using his own
strength to support this Obi-Wan and Anakin, even if he didn't completely
understand why the two needed it. Anakin latched onto Master Jinn's generous
gift, drawing more of the man's deep and tranquil spirit into his soul so that
he was no longer draining his master's.
*Unseen depths indeed*, his master's thoughts echoed across their bond, picking
up on Anakin's earlier impression of Master Jinn, and picking up on Anakin's
need to hold such a calming influence close to heart. His master's own spirit
was just as shaken from Anakin's reaction, was yet one more thing Anakin felt
guilty about even as he reveled in the resumption of speaking mind to mind.
*Nonsense, Ani. You cannot be at fault for a vision I've had, and even less for
what that vision showed.* The next words were spoken instead of just shared, as
if his master wanted more than just Anakin to hear them. "You are not and will
never become him."
"I have never seen two Jedi better paired or closer to the light, Anakin,"
Master Jinn offered his own reassurances. "You have no need to fear such a
future will come to pass by your hands." And he put his own hands on Anakin's
shoulders, though the look on his face had to be solely for Anakin's master.
Emotionally and physically Anakin hadn't felt this warm since their arrival.
And he was finally beginning to believe both masters could be correct.
"Okay, assuming I stop dwelling on my actions in the vision, why were we shown
it in the first place?" Anakin then asked the other question that had been
bothering him since he had awakened from the initial shock.
His master stiffened and Anakin cringed. It had sounded like he accused his
master of agitating him on purpose, but that hadn't been his intention. He knew
his master had rarely ever been able to specifically call forth a vision. Nor
stop spontaneous ones from happening. Indeed, Anakin had found it difficult
over the years to accept his master's dubious gift as a manifestation of the
Will of the Force because of its unpredictability. He certainly was not looking
forward to being plagued by it himself.
Unfortunately both Obi-Wan and Master Yoda figured he would prove prescient
once he matured.
"No, Ani, I am not thinking you meant anything personal by it," his master
contradicted his unvoiced - but obviously not unheard -- thoughts. "Actually,
you've asked a good question. I'm just not sure I have a good answer."
"Could it have happened just by chance and circumstance?" Master Jinn asked,
not yet moving back from where he stood protectively shielding both of them.
"We were talking about your abilities in this, after all, Obi-Wan. Certainly my
impression of the images we shared before Anakin's arrival had been intriguing,
but also, I had assumed, hypothetical."
The rising color on his master's face visible because of the nearby, feeble
lighted pole intended to dispel the gloom of the storm, gave Anakin reason to
wish he had been able to share those first images instead of the ones he had.
He was reminded of the confusion he had sensed through their link, which had
led him to rush to the bridge in the first place. Confusion and embarrassment?
Or had it been confusion and lust?
" - perhaps adding Anakin to the mix simply overloaded a teaching lesson?"
"It could be nothing more than that." But his master was shaking his head
unconsciously. And not doing anything to step away from the huddled nearness
they had adopted either, Anakin noted with interest.
"You think it was a Force Warning," Anakin stated. Then without waiting for an
answer, "But why now? And why something of that nature if it wasn't warning you
that I'm going to turn?" He couldn't stop his shudder that had nothing to do
with rain starting to turn into snow.
"At the risk of sounding pedantic, perhaps we should break apart the incident
and look at what exactly the vision did show," Master Jinn suggested. "There
was more to it than just Anakin's turning."
Anakin gave a little start. Master Jinn was right. He had been dwelling on the
sight of himself shrouded in the Dark, killing his master. Yet there had been
many more images before that stark ending. He and his master fighting an army;
him marrying; him thinking his master had been with his wife even though he
knew his master's heart had died with Qui-Gon Jinn -
"A good idea, but not here, not now," his master cautioned abruptly. "Our ride
is approaching and it is not a discussion for others to overhear."
Anakin stepped far enough to look around his master and Master Jinn. Sure
enough a small ground car was approaching them, coming to a stop with a spray
of water that probably wasn't intentional, but drenched them nonetheless.
Fortunately their cloaks repelled most of it. And allowed Anakin to keep his
sudden pique hidden while he sought to release the emotion.
"Esteemed Jedi, forgive this one for his lateness," the heavily wrapped driver
was apologizing even as he got out of the car. "The severity of this storm has
caught us unprepared and several of our roads have become impassable."
"We appreciate the difficulty our arrival has -"
Anakin watched nonplussed as his master was simply tugged toward the vehicle.
"No time, no time. We must get back underway before all roads are washed out."
And the driver opened the rear doors into the passenger seating, before pulling
the light carryalls holding their spare clothing and equipment out of their
hands. By depressing some sort of button, the top of the back end rose up and
the driver shoved their belongings into some sort of small-scale cargo hold.
Although having explained his desire to get them moving, Anakin had a moment's
doubt that the storm was all that worried their driver, since by his research
into the planet, even bad storms weren't particularly uncommon. They'd been met
with diffidence while in orbit, but now were being treated to an almost brusque
shooing and continued non-verbal commands to get them inside the vehicle.
The driver, with his furtive glances all around the area, seemed awfully eager
to get underway. Could he be afraid of being out with the ghost hunters as full
dark approached?
The sand people of his home planet had tales of malevolent spirits who wandered
the Jundland Wastes and the Dune Sea. He had never seen one, had only half
believed, but there had been so many stories of people whose minds had become
locked in a rictus of terror, or bodies with no visible wounds.
Anakin gave himself a shake. There was no reason to suspect their driver knew
the specifics of their purpose here.
"Ani?" he was asked by his master as the three Jedi arranged themselves within
the car. His master had taken the seat next to Anakin, while Qui-Gon folded his
larger body into the one across from them.
Anakin blushed under his master's look of concern. He was much too old to be
frightened by tales of ghosts, whether they were real or not. "I'm fine,
Master. Just glad to get out from under the rain. And wondering how long until
we arrive somewhere where we can get dry."
"Even under the best conditions, our trip would take a little more than an
hour," the driver called back over his shoulder as he started the vehicle. "If
it is really a problem, my home is about halfway there, and we could stop and
let you change --"
"Thank you for the offer, but we should be fine."
The driver simply nodded and pressed another button, which triggered a
transparent sheet to rise up between their seats and his. Whether for their own
privacy or his, Anakin guessed their driver didn't want to be distracted, as
further evidenced by how incredibly slow he nosed them out onto a wide and
completely empty thoroughfare. At this rate it would be several hours before
they reached the end of their journey and could start looking for their ghost.
******
Given little to see outside other than the freezing sleet, Qui-Gon found
himself instead looking at Obi-Wan's profile as the knight turned enough to
look over the map overlay the driver was inputting into the vehicle's auto
piloting system.
Anakin turned away from his own study of it and met Qui-Gon's gaze with a wink
before twisting forward again. Qui-Gon wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed at
being caught or not, but didn't redirect his gaze.
For such an active knight in field duty - one of the Order's Sith hunters, by
the Force! - Obi-Wan's face was remarkably untouched; no scars and few wrinkles
save for those around his ever changing eyes, and around his lips. While Qui-
Gon figured that no doubt the furrow between Obi-Wan's brow came from too many
responsibilities and stress, some surely were laugh lines. Certainly Obi-Wan
didn't look as worn as many of the Jedi Qui-Gon had worked with before, and
that, he thought, could be at least partially attributed to Anakin. It was hard
to imagine anyone not getting caught up and inspired by the youth's guileless
exuberance.
During the few days travel to Erinne, the knight had foregone shaving up until
scant hours before their arrival, and Qui-Gon wasn't sure if he was happy to
see the reddish whiskers gone. They had lent the knight's face a bit more
gravity and character that, no doubt, would seem reassuring to their hosts. On
the other hand, a beard hid the dimple in Obi-Wan's chin that Qui-Gon had found
quite captivating.
Obi-Wan had also trimmed Anakin's traditional padawan buzz cut just before
landing, and helped his padawan tightly braid the tail that told so eloquently
of the years of service between them for those who had the eye to see it. Four
beads glowed amidst Anakin's straw colored plait tied off with a simple piece
of leather. Jedi didn't count coup or wear badges to celebrate accomplishments,
except for the beads in a padawan's braid.
The two outer beads meant Anakin was on his second five years of apprenticeship
and Qui-Gon supposed that they were sapphire in honor of his master, as their
color so nearly matched that of Obi-Wan's lightsaber blade. The third bead of
pale red represented a dedication to diplomatic duties, and the one of dark
indigo told of Senate recognition in those duties.
Were he a healer, Anakin would wear a white bead instead of the red. Qui-Gon,
like his own padawan, had worn all of his beads in golden yellow to signify
their research discipline, but through fieldwork instead if the clearer topaz
of the theoretical studies in libraries or laboratories. Those in the Air-corps
as Anakin had originally been pegged for would have been the black and silver
of space, while those dedicated to the Agri-corp tenets wore the green of the
Living Force.
"So, can we talk about the vision now?" Anakin asked after he and Obi-Wan
relaxed back in their seats.
Qui-Gon thought the discussion to be a good idea despite regret in seeing Obi-
Wan immediately tense up again. It would be a reasonable way to pass the time,
given they were in a kind of limbo until they could meet with those who had
requested their presence. But he said nothing, even as he hoped his outside
viewpoint as someone unfamiliar with Force visions might offer a unique
perspective.
The look of resignation passed almost before Qui-Gon registered seeing it. "I
think we can skip details of the visions from before your arrival," was all
Obi-Wan said, however. And he then disregarded the exaggerated pout that
followed from Anakin, offering not even a hint of a smile.
This caused Qui-Gon a pang of ... something, but Obi-Wan was continuing and
Qui-Gon let his feelings of those visions -- and over what followed in each
other's arms -- go.
For now.
"What Qui-Gon and I saw was of a personal nature, not particularly
informational, Padawan. Simply pasts that never happened and several potential
futures."
Anakin visibly reigned in his amusement and matched his master's sober mien.
"So we should start from when I added myself into the mix then?" he asked, then
proceeding before getting an acknowledgement, or at least one that Qui-Gon was
privy to. "The first thing I saw was initially meeting you, Master. But Master
Mace wasn't the Jedi you were with, and it wasn't on Tatooine."
"Actually, it was on Tatooine," Obi-Wan corrected, his tone mild. Neutral. As
teacher to student and quite unlike his normal interactions with Anakin.
Because of the possibility of being overheard by an outsider who might not
understand or accept the familiarity given the usual Jedi reputation?
Or because even the thought of the vision were still too emotional, and full
detachment was the only way to deal with it?
"From what I noted, we were on a ship departing from Tatooine. And you are
right, it wasn't Mace who introduced us, but Qui-Gon."
Qui-Gon noted the tightening of Obi-Wan's jaw, and wished he could reach out to
sooth the rising tension away. So this mode was for protection, not from anger
or paranoia.
"Which wasn't at all how it really happened."
Obi-Wan nodded at Anakin's statement. "But not all that far off." The glance he
sent Qui-Gon's way was filled with something that looked a lot like
speculation. Too bad it was overlaid with pain from what else those visions had
shown.
"I was also there in the vision of the three of us standing before the
Council," Qui-Gon contributed, now remembering more himself. Especially the
emotions, few of which he could recognize himself particularly feeling before.
Or wanting too. That version of himself had been so frantic in trying to prove
himself correct before a High Council he had actually felt more contempt for
than respect. So arrogant.
"And it was just the two of us later before them, then during the battle
against the Sith," he said more softly. "But our balance was ... off, my focus
badly disrupted. Although I was a warrior in that alternity, I fought without
true harmony."
"Maybe that's the purpose of them?" Anakin proposed tentatively, but with a
sort of desperation to make the visions something innocuous. "A warning for us
to keep our focus where it belongs? That maybe we need to work together, all
three of us?"
"And that we don't let Master Jinn ever fight a Sith," Obi-Wan forced out in a
lighter tone though his eyes still held the pain of just how out of harmony
that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had been. And for the why.
"S-so what about the rest?"
As before, Anakin's face paled, no doubt from thinking about the Darkness that
had followed. A Darkness that Anakin had embraced and then helped spread
throughout the entire Republic -- Empire.
"We fought an army, then I got married, to that Princess on Naboo I think, but
she was a Queen. Then she was with you, Master, and I had another master, who
was the Emperor and the last remaining Sith, and I killed every -"
"Anakin!" As he had done outside in the storm, Obi-Wan put both of his hands on
the sides of Anakin's face as if to physically drag his padawan's attention
away from the memories. At the same time Qui-Gon clasped the teen's shoulder
and together they grounded Anakin to the moment. This moment.
"Ani, you know that we all have potential for great evil within us," Obi-Wan
was saying quickly and with a frantic quality all his own. "There are things
that could happen to make us want to turn, any one of us, for without holding
the potential to hate, we would also not be able to feel love." His expression
was only slightly less stricken than Anakin's, but now Obi-Wan's also held the
conviction of faith in his own words.
"Think it through, Ani. Hold onto those differences. You and I barely know
Amidala of Naboo, much less either of us being in love with her. The Order
hasn't fought in a war in more than a millennia and cannot operate as an army -
- even for the safety of the Republic. Nor do we have an Emperor." He took a
deep breath then let his features soften even more. "The vision of your turning
happened only after a long sequence of events that have not happened, that
cannot happen. You are not going to kill the Council, the Order, or me --"
"Then why would the Force warn us about something that won't happen?" Anakin's
eyes were still wide in fear and guilt, his body shaking in reaction to his
emotions and his pain.
"It wouldn't," Qui-Gon answered firmly. He tightened his hold, shifting it to
Anakin's closer hand and sending a pulse of energy to warm and comfort. "It has
to have been a different kind of warning." And he paused, his eyes going back
out to the tangible darkness of the storm surrounding them in the physical
world. "What if we interpret it to be a warning about this mission instead of
something in the future? What might it be telling us then?"
"That you and my master become lovers," Anakin said promptly, again eagerly
reaching for something positive in what they'd been shown.
Qui-Gon blushed at the padawan's frankness.
"Perhaps," Obi-Wan managed to get out in only slightly strangled tones. "But
was it warning us not to? The seeds of all of that Darkness could be laid to
that pair's inability to deal with being Jedi and lovers."
As if that pair were not Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn. Perhaps not a bad way
to think about it, after all.
"If it is, I should think it a warning to be honest about our feelings," Qui-
Gon offered gamely, no more happy than Obi-Wan to think that the Force might
actually concern itself with their relationship, whatever it might turn out to
be. "That we admit if we develop feelings for one another, instead of hiding
them and letting them become obsessive."
As if they already hadn't taken those first steps anyway.
"There is no passion, there is serenity?" Anakin quoted one of the fundamental
tenets archly.
Obi-Wan managed a weary smile. "If that is the reason, then we must also accept
the warning about not acknowledging your place in any relationship between
Master Jinn and myself, Padawan."
"I know I already have kept you from finding someone," the teen began in a
voice barely above a whisper. "I am trying not to -"
"Ani, that's not what I meant," Obi-Wan interrupted sharply. "That is exactly
the opposite of what the warning would mean. And you haven't kept me from
anything."
Silence followed for a few beats, leaving Qui-Gon no doubt that the two were
exchanging some form of mental communication. From this he could only surmise
that Obi-Wan had had fewer liaisons than Anakin had first teased when the
misunderstanding about the current nature of the Starlight and Crystal Garden
had arisen. For which Anakin blamed himself.
From personal experience, Qui-Gon knew finding time for the various duties,
responsibilities and activities a Jedi should involve himself with in addition
to a master/padawan relationship was hard enough without also trying to juggle
some form of outside, personal relationship. Obi-Wan would not have been the
first master to keep his priorities centered on his padawan instead of himself.
"From what little I saw, the Qui-Gon in the vision saw that Anakin as a demand
of the Force, a demand which he passed on to that Obi-Wan as a duty to his
master," Qui-Gon offered when he judged enough time had passed by the relaxing
of Anakin's posture to resume the real point of the discussion. "But master and
padawan pairings are made out of feelings no less valid than those made between
two who become lovers, otherwise bonding does not occur and, we can assume, did
not occur there. In reality, you two have a very strong bond, and are both more
than capable of forming additional ones. That part of the vision, like that of
the ... involved relationships with the Queen of Naboo, may be only a reminder
from the Force to reach for enjoyment as well as duty."
"And the Sith?" Anakin asked through a tight throat. "Me becoming a Sith and
killing all the Jedi and my master?"
Perhaps not as ready or relaxed as he had hoped.
"We already have word that the ghost we are here to find is looking for
something once belonging to the Sith. If the vision is entirely metaphorical,
it could mean that we are at risk more from what is being searched for then
from the ghost itself. "
"You mean you might be at risk because of something I might end up doing during
this mission," Anakin frowned.
"You still have much to learn about life and the Force, but you are firmly of
the Light, even without your master's teachings, Anakin," Qui-Gon quickly
offered his own reassurances. Unfortunate that the visions were playing
perfectly into the teen's confusion and difficulties over how the other Jedi
treated or thought of him.
Maybe that was what the warning truly was for; that Anakin's insecurities could
in turn lead him to become the very thing he feared the others expected from
him. That he was in danger of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. And by his
own presence, Qui-Gon might be the one best able to help him realize that Obi-
Wan was not the only Jedi who could trust or love him.
"Any dealings with the Sith are dangerous, Ani," Obi-Wan soothed. "That is our
danger, and one to the people of Erinne. Because we are better equipped to deal
with it is why we are here."
"I know, but ..." Anakin was only partially convinced that somehow everything
wasn't his fault.
Just as Qui-Gon found it easy to see how all that they'd been shown in the
visions could be interpreted as his fault and, no doubt, Obi-Wan's
interpretation would put the blame on himself. Such was often the way of
visions and prophecies. But he had spent too much of his life debunking or
exposing those who used such things for their own ends, to worry now about one
potentially directed his way.
A Jedi's life was often about risk and personal danger, whether they received
any Force warnings or not. Part of their training, was to look beyond the
danger to the greater good of what they could accomplish by performing their
task. Certainly he would do everything he could to insure Anakin stayed safe
enough to receive that training and gain experience from his master.
Watching as Obi-Wan lifted his hand to smooth away the furrow between Anakin's
brows, Qui-Gon couldn't help but feel a bit nostalgic for his own former
padawan. Once Xan had reached Anakin's age, any such gestures of closeness had
been long consigned to Xan's childhood, but Qui-Gon could still remember the
ease he had derived from giving his padawan comfort.
While he was pretty sure he wasn't ready to take another padawan, he was more
than ready to not be alone anymore.
"Perhaps we've analyzed the vision enough for now." Qui-Gon hoped his quiet
suggestion wasn't stepping on Obi-Wan's toes as either Anakin's master or the
mission leader. "Another night's rest and further meditation may help to put
what we were shown in better perspective."
"A subtle suggestion that maybe we should put our minds to the task at hand?"
Obi-Wan asked with a raised brow. A lightness in his eyes reassured Qui-Gon, as
well as demanding a similar response.
"Should I have just told you that you were being too mindful of the future?
That you both should stop centering on your anxieties and focus on the moment?"
he offered with a slow grin.
"Being subtle was much more polite," Obi-Wan laughed. "But the advice is well
spoken if harsh to hear. And for us both," he offered with a gentle thump to
Anakin's forehead. "No more fretting over something beyond our control. If you
need distraction, we could always start going over your Kashhyk'ka tense
drills."
Once again they were treated to an overly theatrical groan. "I'm sure Master
Jinn would be very bored to listen to us blather in Kashhyk'ka, Master. Or any
of my lessons," he continued quickly. "I know, we should tell him more about
the interesting people at the Temple he hasn't had a chance to get to know
yet."
"You mean gossip about the Council," Obi-Wan said in dismay as he gave a small
shake of his head. "You are worse than --
"Master, there is something -"
`Something' turned out to be a crackle and blue sparks racing up the steering
column, along with a puff of smoke and the sudden odor of burning flesh. The
vehicle lurched forward as their driver jerked within his restraint then fell
limp.
Even as Qui-Gon cast his mind outward, sifting the Force currents to read
whether the danger came from the storm, or the road or an outside agency. Obi-
Wan had either found something on their own side of the partition to bring it
down, or was using the Force to override the controls. The knight thrust out an
arm to keep Anakin from grabbing hold of the driver.
"Let me break his hold and pull him back," Qui-Gon suggested, putting action to
deed and using the Force. While he then attempted resuscitate the driver, Obi-
Wan and Anakin both rolled over into the front seat, Obi-Wan taking a position
behind the wheel, but carefully still not touching the steering column. The
vehicle was continuing to accelerate beyond safe speeds and soon the inertial
dampeners and speed governors would be hard pressed to keep up.
"Try to shut down the propulsion system," he instructed his padawan when his
attempt to override the autopilot failed.
Such a catastrophic failure in propulsion should trigger the safety systems and
either slow them, or at least engage further restraints to cushion them.
Anakin used a particularly vulgar curse when that didn't work either, but Obi-
Wan had little time to chastise his padawan. Especially since he'd murmured
much the same words.
Feeling like a third wheel as he finally stopped his ministrations on the
driver, Qui-Gon closed the poor fellow's eyes. He didn't need to inform the
other two of the man's death, the Force softly resonated with his passing
before clamoring once again of their own danger.
"Master --" Anakin was now bending over and twisting under the car's front
panel. "I think I can bypass the electrical short so you can keep us steady and
away from the security and communication posts along the roadside."
Qui-Gon dug through his belt and pulled out a metal probe that was covered in
rubber on one end. He used it as a muffled hammer to cause as little damage as
possible to the artifacts he sometimes needed to almost bludgeon out of an
unyielding ground. But it also had a narrowed edge along the rubber tip, and
might be able to be wedged between the casing that protected the various drive,
propulsion and power systems.
"There, that's got it," came as Anakin shifted even further underneath the
console with only his hips and thighs left near the seat.
Obi-Wan could now take hold of the steering wheel, but still had no control
over their path or acceleration. Which meant Anakin would need to trace over
several clusters of wires. He would need to identify each conduit, through
Force and physical touch without triggering the same kind of short that had
already killed one of them.
Qui-Gon could feel a frission of worry coming from Obi-Wan on his padawan's
behalf, the worry and the feel of danger growing more intense. Anakin suddenly
jerked, no doubt pulling on back and neck muscles already strained by his
contorted position, though he managed to keep his precarious hold and didn't
stop what he was doing. Although certainly no mechanic, Qui-Gon knew enough to
recognize what Anakin was attempting, and how dangerous such doing was under
these conditions.
In the next instant a flash whited out the interior, whited out even the
storm's darkness beyond. But it hadn't been from one of the power conduits, nor
did a near deafening roar of thunder immediately follow to accompany what at
first thought had been a point blank impact of lightening.
"Master?"
"We're under attack," Obi-Wan offered grimly. "Some form of highly concentrated
laser."
"Erinne has no defense satellites," Qui-Gon protested. "They've only got
communications and weather satellites in orbit, nothing that should be able to
produce a burst that strong."
"Well they've got something," the knight grunted as the vehicle flew around an
even tighter turn. From outside another laser barrage followed almost
immediately, hitting close enough to the back of their vehicle that all three
Jedi could smell the bubbling pitch of the melting roadway.
And whatever it was could also track them. Which meant they would need to
vacate the car instead of just stopping it.
"We're going to need to jump clear once you've slowed us down enough."
Obi-Wan nodded and spared a glance back toward Qui-Gon. "Will you be able to
grab Anakin?"
"But Master -"
"Ani, I'm going to need to handle the steering right to the last possible
instant," Obi-Wan didn't let his padawan finish voicing his concern or
complaint. "Which means you are going to have to let Qui-Gon pull you free when
it's time, and follow his lead once you're out."
Qui-Gon nodded. Thank the Force that the vehicle doors raised upward instead
out sideways. They should be able to slide out with no worry of any obstruction
other than something that might be at the side of the road. And hope that the
car wouldn't slew around once Obi-Wan also propelled himself out to clip one of
them as they left it.
A new burst from a laser made any argument or delay pointless - dangerous - as
this one cut through the back of the vehicle itself, disintegrating their
luggage and adding impetus to the jerking deceleration as Anakin was able to
weaken the connection between the propulsion control system and the power
source. It was time, in more ways than one and Qui-Gon directed the Force to
blow all four of the doors simultaneously. That slowed the ground car even
more, along with Anakin's manipulation of the power conduits, and Obi-Wan's
skillful weaving back and forth across the road.
Not slowed enough, however, not quite yet, but the Force was screaming at them
to abandon the vehicle now and even the most placid of Jedi might have trouble
ignoring such a compulsion -
******
Obi-Wan had time to realize it was a localized defense system and not an
orbital satellite firing on them as he pushed himself away from the others and
into the storm. A mobile droid hovered nearby, one able to track and maintain
its acceleration and deceleration with theirs, but it hadn't been able to fully
compensate for the timing of the variations. Or perhaps it was having some
trouble tracking by infrared for all the water sleeting around them. At least
this allowed Obi-Wan opportunity to reach for his lightsaber and deflect the
next blast as he twisted in mid-air.
It was all he could do to block the shot and keep the ricochet from hitting the
car or one of his companions; he had no chance to angle the blast back to take
out the hovering droid. All he could do to keep his mind on even that, when a
bright bleat of pain came from Anakin, both in his mind and through his ears.
But it was not the cry of a mortal wound, and then Obi-Wan needed hold back his
own cry as he discovered the hard way that he'd not been able to see clearly
enough as he dropped further down beyond what was the side of a low bridge
instead onto the side of the road he'd expected.
Prepared to bleed off his momentum in a roll, Obi-Wan found himself instead
plunging through thin, brittle ice into a waterway at least ten or more feet
deep. Instantly his hands cramped as they and the rest of his exposed skin
began to numb in the freezing liquid.
At another time Obi-Wan would have worried about or been bothered by the
mouthful of mud and mineral silted water he involuntarily swallowed and
splashed into his eyes before he managed to close them. But the more immediate
threat lay in his body's reaction to the cold, not the water -- not even the
depth of the water as he managed to keep his direction and discard his cloak
before its sodden weight could pull him further downward.
He tried to wrap the Force around his shaking body as he stroked back up and
broke the surface, although with the raging storm overhead, he was still
swallowing almost as much water. True night had fallen along with the storm's
full fury, reducing visibility to next to nothing except for the occasional
flash of real lightning. But by that he could see that he hadn't been drawn
very far downstream. Nor was he too far from the bank and the hillside that
would lead him back up to the others, whom he could hear still engaged in
deflecting the attack.
Not that he'd be able to do much good; his unexpected dunking had shorted out
his saber and it would take more time than he had to spare to recalibrate it,
leaving the others to have to protect him as he couldn't even call upon Force
enhanced speed for needing to direct the energy to counteract the cold that
wanted to send him back under. But staying away would only add to Anakin's
worry and distraction, and so after pulling himself out of the icy water, Obi-
Wan floundered up the viscous, muddy embankment.
While Obi-Wan could change out any part of his lightsaber by feel instead of
sight, he hesitated popping open the casing to check on his crystals. Were he
to lose one now it would sink into the mud or roll back down in to the water,
where even with the Force he'd have trouble finding it again.
"Master, over here!"
Obi-Wan lifted his face to the storm in a effort to see Anakin, then had to
rely on Force sight when eyesight gave him little more to see than the fingers
in front of his face.
"Obi-Wan, the trees!"
A good idea, though he would have to cross the open roadway to reach trees and
companions. At least the trees might slow the droid and reduce its
maneuverability. They would still need to find a way to disable it, of course,
but -
Obi-Wan cursed as he had to dive over and roll away from the smoking ruin of
the ground car when another blast struck the pavement as he started to cross.
Too slow and too distracted. Too vulnerable. Suddenly he wasn't alone, however,
and recognized the step of his padawan's boots and hum of the teen's lightsaber
even as it had to be Qui-Gon actually helping him rise.
He held on and let himself be steadied before breaking out into a run alongside
the Master Jedi. Furious at himself and worried for Anakin, he stumbled at the
transition between permacrete and ground, would have fallen but for Qui-Gon's
quick hand.
"Will you use another's saber?"
And even before Obi-Wan could answer, he felt his own being taken from his
grasp and another slapped against his palm. Jedi didn't commonly exchange
weapons, and indeed, couldn't always use another's, depending on how the weapon
was crafted and which crystals used. Each type of crystal had its own
resonance, and the choosing of them was not unlike choosing a path to follow;
not all options made good fits. If he and Qui-Gon were too different -
But the saber lit for him, with only a little feedback that buzzed more as a
distraction than pain in the back of his mind. And Obi-Wan would have gladly
endured more for his padawan's sake. Even as he turned back toward Anakin's
confrontation with the droid, he caught the barest warning from the Force and
was leaping, flipping in the air to give himself momentum and distance away
from the bolt that had not come from the droid.
They'd been traveling on a thoroughfare with automated controls that interfaced
with all properly equipped ground vehicles. It was also lined with
communications and diagnostics posts in case of damage or overloads. These
posts contained low level security measures to be used against vandals or the
occasionally too curious animal out in unpopulated regions such as this.
Usually these measures engaged only when the housing was breached, but, like
everything else electronic, could be overridden with the right opportunity and
skill.
Obi-Wan could sense Anakin's attention focus solely on the droid, his padawan's
surprise at being attacked in the first place along with concern for his
companions all but overwhelming his normal and Force awareness along with his
intent to disable their attacker. Anakin was also shielding his side of the
link, causing Obi-Wan to fear his padawan had taken more injury than he wanted
to let on, but perhaps it had been reflexive to shut out Obi-Wan's own
troubles. Unfortunately to now force the muted link open to give warning would
just as likely disrupt Anakin's concentration as would a shout and he was so
directly engaged ...
But if Obi-Wan didn't, and couldn't reach position in time -
Anakin tumbled over the edge of the bridge only marginally more gracefully than
Obi-Wan had, his surprise total not only in feeling Obi-Wan use the Force to
push him over, but also fighting against the Force holding him from immersing
himself, if only for an instant. Yet Anakin had always been a quick study, and
never more so in fighting at Obi-Wan's side. Even as Obi-Wan used Qui-Gon's
blade to deflect the new laser bolt from the nearest comm post and channeled
even more of the Force through his body to also give the droid enough of a push
to alter the trajectory of its next blast, he could sense Anakin grabbing for a
handhold along the bridge's mortared wall, allowing Obi-Wan to look after
himself instead of also his padawan.
Obi-Wan dove over two more subsequent shots, rolling back to his feet just
beyond a saber's length away from the metal communications tower that was also
trying to mete out death. With Qui-Gon's blade being several inches longer than
his own, he could actually breach the outside casing from this position, but
would still need to close in order to plunge the blade inward far enough to
disrupt the controls. The closer he approached, however, the more security
systems he would trigger.
"Master, look out!" and it was Anakin's turn to push Obi-Wan out of harm's way
as yet a third source of attack came to life.
Anakin had used his hands instead of the Force, and Obi-Wan took advantage of
his padawan's close proximity to pull him along in the controlled tumble, both
of them automatically shutting off their sabers lest they damage one another or
themselves. Retreat was never Obi-Wan's first choice, yet they had little
option now but to again try to escape into the trees as the other comm posts
within visual range began targeting them. At least away from the road, they
would need to fight only the droid.
Such escape became suddenly easier. While he had no idea of what Qui-Gon was
planning, Obi-Wan was nearly overwhelmed by the level of Force energy the older
Jedi Master began gathering, and had to tighten his mental and physical hold on
Anakin to keep his padawan from allowing some of his own extensive reserve to
be drawn up in the taking. A wordless exchange of wonder with Anakin, a blink,
then a cacophony of light, sound and waves of energy rolled through the night
as the ground car's fuel system heated and exploded. Shrapnel, burning liquid,
not even the concussive force of the explosion reached Obi-Wan and Anakin,
however, as Qui-Gon also erected a protective screen around them.
Unfortunately the fallout didn't reach the droid either. Their only hope was
that the droid's self-diagnostics would go slowly, then that its programming
wasn't sophisticated enough to realize its prey had escaped with the execution
of what had probably been its primary goal in the explosion of the car. But
Obi-Wan wasn't going to count on that anymore than he expected the security
systems of the comm posts wouldn't be automated against them again.
The three of them slid past the first of the trees at a speed fast but not
Force enhanced, and didn't stop for ten minutes. They needed to rely on the
Force to avoid obstructions and mundane dangers underfoot as the heavy growth
not only hid the light of the burning car, but blocked out even the meager and
intermittent light from the storm's lightening. But eventually the growth
lessened, not enough to offer dubious visibility or to break as cover, but at
least to make the passing less treacherous. And to give them opportunity in a
few minutes more to find a place to stop.
This was their first opportunity to assess the level of injury each other had
sustained; although Anakin was doing a good job of shielding any pain, Obi-Wan
still couldn't get the sound of his padawan's initial distress from his mind.
"Anakin, are you alright?" he forced out between chattering teeth as the three
of them hunched over to catch their breath. Not that Anakin would lie outright,
but Obi-Wan reached up to put a hand to his padawan's shoulder so that he could
sense anything the teen might have been shading along with the full truth.
Tendrils of disquiet and distress flowed about Anakin's hairline and Obi-Wan
raised his fingers. Even had there been enough light to see, no doubt the rain
would be washing away most of the blood from the scalp wound he now felt. Nor
did he need evidence of blood or the ability to see to be able to feel heat
radiating from the otherwise too cool skin. An even greater heat came from one
of Anakin's hands -- a burn then, probably from the conduit and no doubt
extremely painful, especially under constant lashing from the rain which had
lessened but not ended as they moved further into the forest. At least a great
deal of the wind's fury had been cut, but Anakin was still so cold to the
touch.
Or maybe that was just his own skin. No matter how much Force energy he pulled
around him, he no longer had his cloak as protection from the wind and rain,
and his dunking had forced water through the under layers of his cold-gear
tunics to reach his skin. Movement was his only source of warmth, and even that
was barely enough.
"We need to get moving again," Qui-Gon suggested as if reading his thoughts,
and with an apologetic tone, but whether for the interruption of the moment
between master and padawan, or the fact that none of the three of them was
really ready to keep going, Obi-Wan wasn't sure.
Just as he wasn't sure if the waves of exhaustion coming from the older man
were more from being chased, or from the massive exertion of Force Qui-Gon had
used to set the car on fire and disable the nearest two security posts. Though
no doubt able to look after himself under even the abnormal circumstances the
researcher occasionally found himself in, Qui-Gon was not an active field
agent, and had probably used the Force more in the last ten minutes than he
normally did in ten days.
"The bot?" Anakin asked between deep breaths.
"I'm not sure it's picked up our trail yet, but it isn't going away."
Obi-Wan clutched Qui-Gon's lightsaber tighter. They could keep up a run, for
hours more if necessary. But without an idea of where to go, they could just as
easily run in circles save for a Force enhanced sense of direction. And until
they got rid of their pursuer, circles or straight lines would make little
difference. The droid would be relentless, not tiring or growing frustrated
with the time it might take it to find them. And this was all assuming there
would not be additional measures taken against them.
There was also the concern that if they did find a town, or some place that
they might be able to communicate with those expecting them, the droid wouldn't
be forestalled from completing its programming just because others might be
around. Obi-Wan did not want to put others at risk.
Including Qui-Gon or Anakin.
"I'll go back and draw it off until I can find a place to turn its attack back
on itself." He could feel Anakin's protest building, could hear his padawan
draw in a breath before speaking just as his body tensed beneath Obi-Wan's
grip. "Anakin, you need to stay with and defend Master Qui-Gon in case there
are others, or something else concerned with stopping us. And this way, if you
do find some place to hold up, I'll be able to find the two of you."
"I - but - yes, Master," came Anakin's eventual acquiescence. He might not have
realized why Obi-Wan was carrying Qui-Gon's lightsaber, but he'd had the
opportunity to note its different color, to figure out where the green blade
had come from and to conclude that meant Qui-Gon was now without a weapon
himself. Nor should he have much call to dispute his master's ability to handle
the droid, since Anakin was too frequently extolling his master's skill with a
blade to his friends and peers to now doubt it.
Which didn't mean Obi-Wan also didn't understand Anakin's reluctance to be away
from his master's side. Obi-Wan felt a reluctance of his own in having to
separate, although he was not getting a sense of added danger for either of
them.
"Take care of each other," he admonished, finally removing his hand from
Anakin's cheek to then brush his fingers across the back of Qui-Gon's hand. In
truth he wasn't sure who he was more concerned for, only knowing he didn't want
to part from either. It was a curious feeling, something more than just simply
looking out for a fellow Jedi or an involved third party, and he was very glad
that this hadn't come up when Anakin had been younger. Even now it would be
difficult not to feel he was slighting his feelings for one over the other, but
at least Anakin was old enough to recognize his master's interest in another.
And Anakin was old enough, skilled enough that Obi-Wan could trust him to do
his duty without his master's presence.
Now he needed do his own.
2.
Had either of them been the one tracking it, no doubt Qui-Gon or Anakin would
have sensed the droid through its disruption to the normal inhabitants of the
forest, their preternatural quiet or fear of being invaded disrupting the local
ecosystem. Obi-Wan found it not so much from those feelings of disquiet,
however. To him the foreignness of a something created jangled across the
pattern spun from all of the living things. The Unifying Force versus the
Living Force, twining aspects of the same energy, and maybe all just a matter
of perspective.
Others argued that even the difference of Light and Dark within the Force was
all a matter of perspective, that such thinking simply personified a force of
nature like entropy or gravity, although if they were of the Jedi Order, they
didn't voice such radical thinking very loudly. Obi-Wan on the other hand
didn't care whether his ability to use the Force came from atomic size entities
with a sentience and purpose all their own within his bloodstream that some
defined as midichlorians, or whether he'd been born with a set of genetic
predispositions that allowed him to more fully refine and use non-species
dependent skills and abilities. To him the Force was an ally, not a taskmaster,
and Light and Dark were choices to use his abilities to protect someone instead
of victimizing them.
Midichlorians or not, the Will of the Force or not, all of Obi-Wan's choices
were his own, and any destiny or pre-determination couldn't stand up to free
will. Even his visions of the future were little more than image-like dreams,
random bits of data that his brain collated into a visual playback his
conscious mind might not always understand. He thought of it as having a better
set of defined variables to process, and more skill in interpreting them. The
more data available, the better a decision that could be made.
A Jedi seeks knowledge over ignorance.
So in that way, his own mindset and decisions were not unlike that of the droid
he now trailed; using logic instead of intuition, relying on facts instead of
emotions. Such similarity made it easier for Obi-Wan to anticipate the droid's
programming. Yet it was his ability to be intuitive or emotional that let him
exceed the mere logic of the situation and outthink the droid's artificial or
directed intelligence.
The droid's visual sensors were next to useless in the midst of the trees and
hindered by the rain that penetrated the leafy overhang. Proximity detectors
would keep it from running into any of the trees, but it couldn't see the
broken branches or disrupted ground and ground cover that had marked their
passageway, just as the infrared sensors had been confounded by the speed of
their passage. And its audio sensors wouldn't perform beyond a certain radius.
Obi-Wan was almost tempted to just let it wander, knowing that although it
would relentlessly search the entire grove of trees, there wasn't much
likelihood of it tracing them to actually threaten them again. Then again, not
even formidable Jedi will would dissuade a droid's dedication to programming
and purpose. And he had no desire to be hunted for the rest of his days here on
Erinne.
So he should find it and put it out of commission.
Because the droid flew and hovered some fifteen feet above the ground, he would
not be able to simply thrust Qui-Gon's saber into its casing and disrupt its
functioning as he had the first comm and security post. Nor could he use the
Force to do more than move it; even pushing it into a tree might not be enough
to do more than temporarily disrupt its balancing gyros or inertia stabilizers.
He didn't have a blaster to turn focused energy on the sphere, or even a
makeshift net to throw to try to counter its mobility. Turning its own power
against itself seemed not only the smartest avenue, but also his only one.
Which meant he would have to give up his advantage of surprise in order to be
shot at.
And which meant that if he didn't get the angle correct within the first couple
of volleys, the chances of him getting hit by one of the bursts increased
exponentially as the droid would be just as able to anticipate his likely
avenues of movement and actions.
Patterns. His life was a series of patterns for which a few random
happenstances interrupted.
Like having another's lightsaber in hand when beginning to execute a pattern of
attack.
Being at least six inches taller than Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon's lightsaber was set to
the other Jedi's height and reach. This had already caused him once to
miscalculate his position and to disrupt his timing. That time he'd had Anakin
to cover his back as he dealt with his misstep.
This time Obi-Wan didn't so much miscalculate as simply have no other choice.
Although trees hemmed in his aerial maneuvers just as much as they did the
droid's, Obi-Wan still needed to twist into a flip from a standing position in
order to avoid a more rapid burst than the droid had previously employed. And
although the weight of a lightsaber depended only on its casing and not at all
from the blade, the length of the blade was still paramount as it could cut
through anything other than another saber. Cutting through flesh and bone -
- his own -- would pose it no trouble at all.
Landing awkwardly to avoid taking off his own ankle, Obi-Wan muttered a curse
he would never had spoken in his padawan's presence as said ankle slipped and
twisted on the rain-slicked detritus. His fall put him under the next round of
shots, but also made him take time to catch himself, which kept his weapon out
of alignment.
Splinters of smoking rock and tree bark further peppered the back of his hand
as he was rolling back into an upright, crouching position and bringing the
slash of green angled in reverse across his back to deflect the next shot. But
he'd moved true to his need, returning the laser fire to its source with a
sckreel and whumph of impact and catastrophic failure. And let his momentum
carry him into another forward roll and enough distance to avoid the exploding
shrapnel.
With the droid finally destroyed, Obi-Wan used the nearest tree to bring
himself upright and test his ankle before putting much weight upon it. Twisted,
not broken, it would only slow him down, not preventing his return to his
padawan and Qui-Gon.
******
Qui-Gon wasn't sure if he'd ever been as uncomfortable on a mission before. It
didn't help that he had no weapon other than his wits and the Force, yet better
him without than Obi-Wan. He at least had Anakin if using the Force wasn't
enough; surely Obi-Wan wouldn't have split them up if the knight hadn't had
confidence in his padawan's abilities to protect.
Of course, being left with Anakin accounted for as much of Qui-Gon's disquiet
as being without his lightsaber. Although Anakin was nominally his protector,
in truth Obi-Wan had also entrusted Anakin's care to him for more than just the
mission should the worst happen. It had been too many years, however, since
Qui-Gon needed to care for a padawan. He didn't want any such responsibility,
but especially not because of harm to Obi-Wan.
But being Jedi meant taking responsibility for things out of his control and,
instead of worrying about what might never happen, he should turn his attention
toward the task of finding safety. And paying more attention to his young
charge.
Although he tried to control it, Anakin's chattering teeth served counterpoint
to the rain splattering against the branches overhead, and their footfalls on
the debris strewn ground. Qui-Gon knew Obi-Wan had to be even colder, though no
doubt the knight wouldn't say or show any distress upon his return, until his
condition became dangerous to one of the others. They all had need to get out
of their wet clothes -- out of the icy rain completely -- in order to do just
that. So they needed a cave, or even better, a crofter or hunter's cabin -
Hadn't their driver mentioned his own home was about halfway from the landing
field to the capitol? If he'd been paying proper attention, the distance was
about right, and surely it wouldn't have been too far away from the road? So
all they needed to hope for was they had gone the right direction in their
escape, and that they might quickly find some sort of side road.
They found the house before they did the road leading toward it. Qui-Gon
couldn't be sure it belonged to their driver; it was late enough in the evening
that finding a single light shining might only mean the inhabitants had gone to
bed.
Qui-Gon took a harder look at the homestead opening up in the valley below.
They had come through a sparser set trees -- evidenced by the amount of rain
that was reaching them again -- but it was only now that Qui-Gon could see
regularity in the shadows; forest becoming an orchard. The sole light gave them
a bare glimpse of a gabled edifice, while the length of the shadows surrounding
it bespoke of it being quite large.
"Do you think it's safe?"
Qui-Gon turned toward Anakin despite being unable to see what expression
underneath the teen's restored hood might match the flatness of his tone.
"Until we know why we were attacked and if we are still being pursued, nothing
is safe, Padawan. But the house represents a danger only assuming its
inhabitants work against us directly, or should they refuse us entrance. And
the danger in remaining outside is already greater than that."
Anakin nodded, the movement just a deeper blur of shadow. "So do we wait here
for my master, go forward to secure room and board before his arrival, or head
back to help him?"
It didn't take a Jedi to know which of the choices Anakin hoped Qui-Gon would
decide upon. And the Master Jedi was just as worried about their companion,
though he had agreed fully with Obi-Wan's decision to be the one to stay
behind. The droid needed to be taken out of operation lest the mission be
compromised before it had truly begun, and the knight was the one best
qualified to defeat it in combat.
"What do you feel we should do, Anakin?"
Which put the padawan on the spot, Qui-Gon knew, but he asked not solely as an
offhand or training question. Even if the teen had little of the extraordinary
Force intuition of his master, he did still have a link with Obi-Wan. Anakin's
answer, therefore, would be taking that into consideration, even if Anakin
wasn't consciously aware of incorporating it into his response. They both had a
more personal involvement than was perhaps prudent from strictly a mission
perspective, but he could hope that in response to another master asking,
Anakin could put aside most of his own emotions. As would Qui-Gon, in
evaluating how Anakin reached his conclusion.
"I want to go back," Anakin answered instantly, turning his face back toward
where his master should be, though not his body.
"So do I." Qui-Gon rewarded Anakin's honesty with his own, and with the same
amount of questioning in his tone as Anakin had put into his own. Yet Qui-Gon
offered nothing more. And didn't move.
"I want to go back, but if my master still hasn't managed to put the droid out
of commission and it follows us after we rejoin him, we could be putting more
people in danger should it attack us upon reaching this residence."
Qui-Gon was pleased Anakin was thinking of others before himself - before even
his master.
"That's assuming the folks here didn't send the droid after us in the first
place," Anakin added a bit crossly. "I can't believe it followed us from the
space port only to attack when our driver was mysteriously electrocuted to
death." The teen then twisted back toward the direction of the cheerless house.
"Except thinking it came from here doesn't feel right either. While I sense
something ... off about the house, it's nothing like in the ground car. I sense
a potential for danger, like maybe they don't like off-worlders in general, not
that they won't like us."
Qui-Gon wouldn't be surprised if Anakin's last supposition was correct. Even
without the threat of a ghost haunting the countryside, the Erinne populace was
slow to embrace strangers. Few cultures were ever truly comfortable having Jedi
present, no matter how enlightened or cosmopolitan they portrayed themselves.
With so few Jedi and so many peoples needing their help, there were more worlds
to which Jedi were just as mythic as were ghosts. Or Sith.
And, to some, just as dangerous.
Qui-Gon let the moment stretch out a bit longer to see if Anakin was willing to
support any side of the equation any longer, and turned expectantly when he
felt the teen stiffen next to him.
"He's destroyed the droid. Now he's using our training link to find us."
"Can you do the same?"
This time Anakin turned enough in Qui-Gon's direction that he could just make
out the teen's smile.
"Yes, sir!"
His relief and undisguised surprise that another Jedi Master would even
consider doing something more personally oriented instead of mission driven
dovetailed into an excitement Qui-Gon normally saw only in the younger Jedi
initiates who had no need to worry about things such as self pride or
controlled emotions. Qui-Gon wondered if this was a common occurrence, or
whether it showed a measure of personal trust from Anakin he wasn't sure he yet
rated.
"Ani, can you sense if he was injured in the encounter?"
Qui-Gon rather hoped no for a number of reasons. While they had all gotten a
bit jarred and bruised from their unexpected exit from the ground car during
the attack, that very attack had destroyed all of their personal belongings
save for what they each carried, including the first aid kit that Qui-Gon had
so carefully restocked before their departure. He still had a few things in his
belt and assumed the other two Jedi did also, but they were still many miles
from the nearest city and things such as bone regenerators and bacta. While he
could hope that the type of people who lived so far away from amenities like
doctors and hospitals would be well stocked for emergencies, it wasn't
something Qui-Gon wanted to bet anyone's life on.
Much of Anakin's enthusiasm faded with Qui-Gon's question and the specter of
trouble the Jedi Master had raised, for which Qui-Gon couldn't help but feel a
measure of guilt. But at least Anakin didn't become morose or agitated, which
should mean he had been able to make more extensive contact with his master,
and had received good news. There was a frisson of concern in Anakin's bearing,
just not a strong one.
"He aches, but not badly," came the distracted response as Anakin tried to sort
out differences from what he had no doubt been told as opposed to what he was
actually sensing.
Or maybe he was having trouble with his own injuries to be able to sort out
that which was his own pain. Qui-Gon still had enough Force sense left to
discover Anakin was covering up some sort of serious injury. Just apparently
not one serious enough to have slowed them down.
Again Qui-Gon had managed to escape any sort of difficulty such as had plagued
the other two in this second unexpected encounter. Which led him to wonder
whether it was luck or something more.
"He's moving fairly slowly, but that could be because he's fighting off
exhaustion and hypothermia." The last Anakin bit off in exasperation while
shaking his head.
"I'm sorry, Master Jinn, but until a few days ago, I've never been this closely
linked with my master," he then apologized. "I'm not sure which is real and
what just might be my own projections out of fear."
"You're doing fine, Anakin." Qui-Gon dropped his hand on the other's shoulder
in reassurance. "You've done very well all throughout the start of this mission
and I'm sure your master will be proud. Let's go find him so he can tell you
himself."
3.
The three of them found the house uninhabited. Whether that meant it had
belonged to their driver, or just that its owners were elsewhere wasn't clear.
Anakin hadn't even waited for the end of the debate between the two masters
before he had overridden the locking codes and pushed open the door. His Force
sense, along with Master Jinn's, had verified it was empty, while his master's
had found no particularly harmful security system in place. Which meant they
could break in and apologize later.
Finding all but a few rooms filled with dust and cobwebs seemed to mollify
Master Jinn that they weren't exactly invading someone's privacy; except for
the fact that they had found food stores in their initial explorations -- some
of it perishable and not yet spoiled -- it became obvious that most of the
house was abandoned, and had been for quite some time.
Anakin had been all for bedding down in one of the front rooms downstairs,
feeling much more tired and cold than he was hungry or curious. But he found
himself immediately chivied upstairs and co-opted into searching through some
of the furniture draped rooms. As his master had pointed out, they had already
broken in and it would be just as easy to offer compensation for their further
invasion of privacy by using some of their furnishings and linens. Maybe even
some clothing, assuming they could find any, as all of their own possession
were either completely destroyed or wet enough to fill a bathtub should they
try to wring them out.
They found not only clothing, wrapped and stored as if no one planned to wear
them for at least a season, but also a bathtub not even Master Jinn would find
confining. All within two bedrooms that had doors in common to the bathing area
and would work well to keep them nearby one another. Both also contained two
beds, one of which would be big enough for the three of them to share. But he
and his master took one room and left Master Jinn to his own privacy.
His master began to arrange the wood that lay near a stone hearth after they
decided not to spend the time poking around to try to find whatever other
source of heating installed within the house (especially since it might not
even be usable without significant repair or study). Anakin gave only a cursory
glance at the splendor of the room that was maybe twice as large as his and his
master's entire suite back home. The same with the garish-colored clothes
stored within the two wardrobes set against the wall.
His attention was drawn to the bathroom that seemed more like one of the
hydrotherapy spas in the Temple. Given how so much of the house seemed
abandoned, he half expected to find the water pipes disconnected, but that was
not the case and he began to fill the swimming pool size sunken tub, even as he
also moved toward a shower stall. He knew his master would prefer to first wash
off all of the mud he'd become covered with in his exodus from the river.
"Let me help, Ani."
Anakin turned in surprise, not having heard his master's approach over the
running jets of water, and not having sensed him in his own growing exhaustion.
He had managed to shrug out of his robe and outer tunic, but was having trouble
gripping his singlet to pull it up over his head. He had the shakes, both from
muscle fatigue and still from the cold. Plus he was having trouble closing his
hand --
His master took hold of his hand, was lifting it gently, cradling it in his
own. To Anakin's surprise, severe burns reddened and blistered the palm and all
along his fingertips down to his second knuckles. In more than one place the
damaged skin had been further cut, no doubt from his grip on the stone bridge
when he'd been the one needing to escape the river and regain the road.
"Once we get it cleaned, I'm going to need to seal it somehow," was said as his
master maneuvered Anakin over to take a seat on the commode. "Can you move your
fingers?"
"If I have to."
A nod and Anakin's arm was raised across the counter surrounding the sink. His
master started going through his belt pouches, but obviously some of the things
he'd planned on using were soaked, and so he turned to the variety of cabinets
and drawers.
"T-this can wait, Master," Anakin protested. "We -- you need to get warm."
To which his master responded not by stopping, or even disagreeing, but in
using the Force to begin unfastening the buckles of Anakin's boots and belt
without disrupting his search for first aid supplies. With a shake of his head,
Anakin toed the boots off and began to wriggle out of his leggings. Steam from
the bath had begun to fill the room; although it would be long minutes yet
before the tub was filled, the sheer volume was beginning to offset the chill
in both the air and Anakin's skin nevertheless.
Apparently the abandoned house was not so long empty as to not have synthskin
and bactacreme on hand; weary but triumphant, his master trudged back toward
him, the limp the teen had hoped he'd only imagined when his master had
rejoined them upon destroying the droid now definitely present.
"The full spectrum shots before our departure from Coruscant should have
rendered us immune to any native contaminants, but I want you to keep me
apprised of any pain or trouble," his master began as he cleaned and then
sprayed the cuts. "I don't think any of the abrasions are deep enough to worry
about muscle or nerve damage, but you must also tell me about any numbness or
tingling. And we'll need to keep a careful eye on the extent of the burn."
Anakin nodded in full earnest. Ever since the time he'd discovered his master
had not only been on a mission he'd not been told about, but had been seriously
injured and even that knowledge had been kept from Anakin by the Council and
the healers, they'd made a promise to never again keep silent about such a
thing, despite what the others might have preferred. Any serious injury -- to
either of them -- would adversely affect Anakin's training.
And that one had come very close to adversely affecting Anakin's ability to
trust.
"How bad is your ankle?" Anakin asked when his master finished bandaging his
damaged hand.
His master's smile was just as weary as Anakin's tone, but was also genuine and
disarming. "Nothing that won't be gone come morning," came the reassurance.
Anakin was then assisted from the commode and down into the sunken bath.
"Now just let me shower off the mud and I'll join you in a soak -"
A knock from Master Jinn's side of the room had Anakin quickly reaching through
the Force for a towel before realizing how childish that might appear, given
how both were on the other side of where he was, and the towel would really
only work if he planned to get out of the bath. Nor was his master worrying
about covering up, although he'd now finished shrugging out of his own clothes.
"Come on in, Qui-Gon," his master called out before stepping under the shower's
spray.
"You two ready for a little company?" the older Jedi asked, wearing a friendly
expression and little else save for a robe of some undoubtedly local weave.
"Ah, s-sure, Master Jinn," Anakin stuttered and bobbed his head in a type of
greeting. Knowing his master hadn't really been abandoning him to deal so
drastically with his embarrassment and discomfort, that he should have no
reason to even be embarrassed -- nor should he have expected anything else as
this is where both his and his master had quickly retreated to find warmth and
comfort after the attack -- still Anakin blushed and sought to hold his hands
in his lap. Not having grown up at any of the Order's temples or in a
dormitory, he simply did not have the typical Jedi aplomb in being nude before
someone he didn't really know, not even in locker room or medical.
It didn't exactly help to discover as Master Jinn disrobed that he was so ...
impressive. That Jedi robes and tunics had been hiding more than a fair amount
of muscle. Or that the man was simply big all over. For an instant Anakin's
mind froze, caught between jealousy and arousal, though he had always figured
his master to be more of his type and even that was assuming he didn't really
prefer women as potential sexual partners.
A while back he'd decided some of his current protectiveness and attention to
his padawan duties actually stemmed more from being attracted to his master's
body type and size than perhaps his master, that he was expecting to eventually
end up with someone he could take care of instead of always being cared for.
Even those times where the two of them were involved on a mission and he
watched men and women, human or alien alike, throw themselves at his master in
an attempt to bed him, had been something more to laugh about than get jealous
over. It hadn't stopped him from getting aroused, but that was little more than
teenage hormones and lust.
Surely so was his sudden desire for Master Jinn.
Yet sure enough, despite how old the other master was, Anakin found himself
suppressing yet another pang of jealousy, this one of his master instead of for
his master. There was no way he could compete with either man for the attention
of the other. He was too young, too inexperienced, and too underdeveloped.
Too needy.
Anakin's thoughts began going around in a circle, then, suddenly, so was his
vision and he slid sideways in the bath. Even now the rising water wasn't
really deep enough for his head to go under but in the next instant both his
master and Master Jinn were at either side of him. Then his master was kneeling
in the water before him and didn't that bring up interesting wishes, and --
"Anakin!"
For some reason his master's expression and focus wasn't what Anakin was
expecting, and he tried to raise his hand to smooth away the frown, which
involved touching those lips and that dimple, and his fingers weren't doing the
job so maybe his own lips would work better --
Anakin found himself unable to move, not his body, not even his head, and he
began to thrash. But then recognized and knew not to fear the grip that was
holding him in place. When the grip didn't lessen however, Anakin began to pout
as a distraction to disguise gathering the Force. When all he managed was to
splash his master instead of wrestle free, however, the pout became important,
but he couldn't hold it when suddenly overcome by the giggles before blacking
out.
******
Shit.
Obi-Wan kept Anakin propped up against the tiles and shook away the water
streaming from his hair and face. "He's alright," he said quickly, not having
to look to know Qui-Gon would be concerned, then had to fight a bit of the
giggles himself as he put together what the other master would have seen. "I
think if you check the bactacreme I used on him, you'll find it combined with a
particular medicinal narcotic sedative. Which works on Anakin, quite well as
you may have noted, but also inhibits his judgment."
"And his shielding," came the acknowledgement, to which Obi-Wan turned bright
red.
"We should probably get him out of the bath and into bed," Qui-Gon continued,
now kneeling himself, but still outside of the bath and beginning to gather
Anakin up. "You get his feet."
Normally Obi-Wan would have carried Anakin himself, either cradled or over his
shoulder although the teen had reached a size now that he needed to use the
Force to manage it without awkwardness. And once he stepped up out of the water
he prepared to do just that, but Qui-Gon showed no desire to loosen his grip
under Anakin's shoulders.
"Okay, you hold him there while I dry him off." Somehow he doubted his padawan
would appreciate being surrounded by wet sheets or blankets for the rest of the
night.
"Do you want to go find him a robe or bedclothes of some kind too?"
Obi-Wan nodded. They were already availing themselves of someone's hospitality.
A couple more items of clothing shouldn't make things any worse.
Other than having to deal with their missing host's bad taste.
The only sort of robe he found was one of metallic red with bits of dark lace
at the sleeves. Not a woman's by the rest of the clothing contained therein,
not even really feminine, but also not something he could envision his padawan
wearing by choice. But there was nothing else beyond a few oversized shirts
also with an inordinate amount of lace on the cuffs, and pants that probably
wouldn't be comfortable in casual wearing for the tightness and the material
they'd been made of, much less comfortable sleeping in.
He could check back in Qui-Gon's room, but finally he decided shirts for them
both, hoping they would be long enough to provide sufficient covering.
While Qui-Gon supported Anakin, Obi-Wan tugged the shirt over Anakin's head and
arms, then lifted the teen's braid out from underneath the wide collar of the
shirt. He then leaned over to grab up the second one, but a gentle hand to his
arm and a shake of Qui-Gon's head before he pointed it toward the tub had Obi-
Wan reconsidering the idea.
Qui-Gon was right. He'd rinsed off, but hadn't really had any opportunity to
soak out the cold or the bruises. Not to mention spend a little time alone with
Qui-Gon.
"Just let me get him to bed and I'll return."
And he could doubt that Qui-Gon's smile in response was only because of the
care he was showing his padawan.
When he returned, the other master was submerged and leaning back against a
towel draped across the side of the tub. The water had now risen to lap against
dusky nipples and Obi-Wan needed to catch his breath. But he forced himself not
to look away or blush, although he wasn't sure if he'd been completely
successful in the last. Then it didn't exactly matter as Qui-Gon's eyes were
closed, and didn't even open as he found his own towel to pillow his neck and
moved down to sit alongside.
Obi-Wan quickly helped his body adjust not only to the temperature, but the
sheer comfort offered by the water's buoyancy. He'd played down the injury to
his ankle because it was as he'd said; being only twisted, the soreness should
be gone by morning. And in truth, his shoulders and neck ached more, no doubt
as much from tension as from the actual exodus from the car into the riverbed.
Now he couldn't help but give a low sigh of relief in being engulfed by so much
warmth.
"My former padawan would accuse us both of being decadent," Qui-Gon offered,
still with his eyes closed, his expression matching the bliss Obi-Wan was
feeling.
"Don't tell me he prefers sonics too? Actually, Anakin is just uncomfortable in
what he sees as wasting so much water, but ..."
"Bathing is for cleansing or healing and should be accomplished with the least
amount of resources, allocated in optimum efficiency."
Even without a somewhat more prim accent than even Obi-Wan's own, Qui-Gon's
words had the sound of a too oft said litany. Much like several of the High
Council tended to quote the code.
"I find it hard to imagine you having such a joyless padawan. To live with your
own obvious enjoyment of life and duty ..." But Obi-Wan trailed off as he
realized how judgmental his words could be interpreted; something he and Anakin
were all too used to hearing from other masters about their own relationship
and something he tried never to offer in return.
As if sensing Obi-Wan's discomfort, Qui-Gon opened his eyes and the look turned
Obi-Wan's direction changed to one of reassurance. "I don't mind talking about
him. Defending him," he began to explain. "His outlook wasn't really Xan's
fault. Yes, he made a choice to so view his environment and live his life, but
he was rebelling against his birth parents and heritage." Now Qui-Gon showed a
rueful frown.
"Unlike many of us, Xanatos' parents kept in constant contact with him.
Sometimes I think they only did so to remind him he had given up the throne to
a world -- Telos, actually -- instead of out of any affection. I know Xan chose
a life of asceticism to remind them he was more than content to leave all of
that behind."
"And how did all of that affect the two of you and your own relationship?"
A rueful laugh this time. "I certainly wasn't a substitute father figure for
him. All too often he made me feel like the juvenile. But we did get along. I
think he found some form of perverse pleasure in being frustrated with my
manner. And he was a joy to teach. Very dutiful and intelligent. The only
reason he wasn't offered my spot as the Head of the Solus Four Temple was
because several of the other masters refused to have to listen to someone so
young."
Obi-Wan got the impression that had been a complaint used against Qui-Gon too.
"As if age has anything to do with ability, and sometimes even experience," he
muttered in disgust for the blinders some of their fellows surrounded
themselves with. "As you might imagine, that type of thinking is even worse on
Coruscant despite Councilors like Master Yoda and Knight Ki Adi-Mundi. Indeed,
the furor when Ki was appointed to the Council; too young and not even a master
yet --"
"I imagine it was much like a twenty-four year old padawan taking his own
padawan on the first day he was knighted and they having to call him Master
Kenobi. Especially now that he has proven how capable he is despite their
grousing."
Obi-Wan blushed but didn't draw back when Qui-Gon shifted toward him. He
reached out to brush away a few drops of water that collected at Qui-Gon's jaw
line. "Yes, well, no doubt our extraordinary padawans have simply made us both
look good," he murmured and leaned up to brush his lips across the skin his
fingers had touched. Qui-Gon shifted body and head at first to encourage Obi-
Wan explorations, but then so that their lips met.
Another sigh escaped Obi-Wan before he brought them so close together that
sounds and air could only be exchanged. Despite Anakin's earlier quandary and
Obi-Wan knowing he'd have to tread carefully around his padawan while the teen
figured out how he was going to deal with the changing dynamic between all
three of them, the knight's own awareness of Qui-Gon's desirability had been
greatly enhanced by Anakin's own confused interest.
And by Qui-Gon's, which was deliciously not so confused.
The older man was open and pliant under his touches, was content to let Obi-Wan
take the lead, but was by no means being passive. This was a meeting between
equals, something all of Obi-Wan's former couplings had sadly lacked no matter
which role Obi-Wan had taken. Maybe that was why this one was so different -
- being new to Coruscant, Qui-Gon had no expectations of Obi-Wan because of
knowing him first as a padawan or now as the master of one such as Anakin. With
Qui-Gon he didn't have to live up to another's preconceived notions.
"If this is going to go any further, I think we'd better find something to use
as lubricant other than the bacta sedative," Qui-Gon eventually suggested
during one of their breaks for air.
"There is always the Force --"
Qui-Gon pushed Obi-Wan back from were they were sprawled up the steps.
"I don't know about you, but I don't think my control is up to such a demand."
Obi-Wan laughed and sneaked down for another quick kiss, then knelt upright and
began looking about the room. Both he and Anakin had disrobed here and,
therefore, both of their belts should be somewhere nearby. Assuming his had
weathered his immersion better than his lightsaber --
Damn! He still hadn't realigned his crystals. It was bad enough that he and
Qui-Gon were considering sex in a house they had no idea of where the owners
were, or when they were due back, but because of the attack, insuring his saber
worked should have been the first thing he'd taken care of after seeing to
Anakin's health.
"Obi-Wan?"
He looked first to Qui-Gon, and then down at himself. It had become obvious
something else was now on his mind other than finding mutual pleasure and
release. "I'm sorry," he apologized, brushing fingers and lips once more across
Qui-Gon's mouth when the other also made move to rise. "I -- we -- I'm sorry."
And he rose up completely out of the bath, calling first a dry towel to his
hand that he wrapped around his waist, and then reached for his saber before
kneeling back down on a dry section of tile.
He had a feeling the other master was gently laughing at him, but now that he'd
remembered his mission, his erection had faded despite the allure of his
potential partner and he wouldn't be able to let go until he'd seen to his duty
first. He pushed his wet hair back, guilt making his movements choppy but then
Qui-Gon was suddenly behind him, wrapping another towel first around Obi-Wan's
hair to soak up the excess water, then arranging it around his shoulders to
handle any subsequent drips before they fell into the open casing of Obi-Wan's
saber.
"I hope you never again feel you have to apologize for knowing your duty," was
offered close to Obi-Wan's ear, and he shivered from the warmth it surrounded
him with.
He turned his head for a kiss, this certainly not being the first time he
needed do something more in addition to calibrating his weapon. "Then thank you
for your understanding. It isn't that I'm not interested --"
This time Qui-Gon took the lead, silencing him with a deeper kiss before
running his fingers down Obi-Wan's extended arms and busy fingers. "I know," he
smiled, and then sat back on his haunches. "I just didn't expect your concern
for your lightsaber to come before your consideration of mine," he groused by
with a waggle of his eyebrows.
Obi-Wan didn't bury the laughter that welled up out of him at that, but did
ruthlessly shove away the image that had called to mind. Qui-Gon's saber was
quite impressive. As was his weapon.
"We should consider this a reminder of the dangers of distraction," Qui-Gon was
continuing much more soberly. "And count ourselves lucky that it didn't come at
our expense. While I've no doubt we'll find time to renew our interest and
explorations before leaving Erinne, I can also admit to being content to
consider it only for the future if that is what is needed."
Obi-Wan nodded and turned his attention more fully back on the crystals that
powered his saber for a moment, before then smiling back at Qui-Gon. And
closing the casing with a decisive snap before thumbing the blade on. The
brilliant blue shaft extended to its full length, then Obi-Wan powered down
both the size and the strength to make sure all facets were working properly.
He knew the mood was lost for the night, but also knew that that was all. The
overall interest was still very much intact and would only continue to grow. At
least until some of the curiosity -- and desire -- was abated.
"We should probably be considering sleeping, anyway," he said in practical
resignation. "I fear Anakin, like your Xanatos, would find any sluggishness we
exhibited come the morning to be only our just desserts and he would revel in
saying I told you so, even if he didn't have the opportunity to warn us not to
stay up too late."
It was Qui-Gon's turn to nod and he rose, then bent over to gather up the shirt
Obi-Wan had carried in. The Jedi Master made no move to offer it to Obi-Wan to
deal with himself, however, and so the knight let himself be dressed much as he
had done for Anakin, only this time because it was Qui-Gon who pulled his damp
hair our from underneath the collar, he shivered in reaction.
While Qui-Gon's fingers still rested across the back of his neck and shoulders,
Obi-Wan lifted his own to cradle the back of Qui-Gon's head and tilted it down
while he raised up on his toes. This was the first time they'd kissed while
standing, and Obi-Wan marveled silently at how well he fit within Qui-Gon's
embrace. Then was thankful for the other's strength as he knees actually
wobbled before the kiss was through.
"A down payment?" Qui-Gon smirked when Obi-Wan took a shaky step backward.
"A promise."
4.
With a sudden awareness that was part Force and part all his own, Obi-Wan woke
knowing several hours had passed even though the last thoughts on his mind had
been of Qui-Gon, just as were these first upon his awakening.
So no nightmare to explain his abrupt return to consciousness, at least not
his, and he quickly cast his mind out for the source if it had come from
another.
Even though his heart said Anakin, Obi-Wan made sure there was no closer threat
or danger first that might keep him from reaching the teen, before letting his
mind touch that bright flare of light and life. Only to recoil instantly from
the alienness surrounding that light, automatically falling out of his bed and
into a crouch. He reached through the Force to bring his lightsaber to hand
even as he also sought to make a connection with Qui-Gon, hoping the most basic
of bonds all Jedi shared in being connected with the Force would be enough to
awaken the other two rooms away.
Although he could see nothing amiss as he cautiously approached Anakin's bed,
he brushed up against a barrier that he couldn't pass through and Obi-Wan's
initial concern spread to full-fledged alarm. Strung wall to wall, it was
something akin to a Force barrier, but not exactly that as he wasn't getting
the psychic feedback he'd generally found when trying to counter something a
stronger Jedi set up against him in a testing.
"Obi-Wan?" The door to the bathroom opened behind Obi-Wan, with Qui-Gon
entering quickly, but with obvious caution.
"I can't reach Anakin!" Not only was the barrier keeping Obi-Wan from
physically reaching his padawan, but somehow their training link was also being
blocked. The only way he could tell Anakin was alive was in seeing the faint
movement of his padawan's chest in the blue of his saber's glow. That Anakin
showed no signs of distress was the only thing keeping Obi-Wan from greater
panic.
Qui-Gon reached his side and tested the barrier with his hands while Obi-Wan
tried to penetrate the barrier with a Force probe of his own. Neither was
successful. Nor was trying to cut through the barrier with their sabers.
"It's possible the barrier is just here, two dimensional instead of enclosing
him within some sort of cube. If we approach him from another side -- well, I
don't see that adding structural damage to our list of reimbursements the Order
is going to owe the house's owners as being a problem."
Obi-Wan knew Qui-Gon was trying to keep things light, but it was also a good
idea. Something at least to try, nor was it as if he had any better idea than
to keep checking the barrier mentally and physically in hope of finding some
weak spot.
Of course, it was such a good idea that whoever had set the barrier had also
set one preventing them from opening the door to the hallway.
"See if you can get out through your own door."
Qui-Gon nodded, but quickly returned. "The energy field either extends all of
the way down, or keeps being adjusted to our probes. I think we should see if
it is actually part of the wall or just across the openings."
Even if the barrier was only at the doors, it would take Qui-Gon about as much
time to cut away enough of the stone for them to pass through as it would for
Obi-Wan to finish testing the barriers. So after a distracting glance at the
ripple of muscles across Qui-Gon's bare back as the Jedi Master thrust his
blade into the native stone the Erinne settlers used in place of the permacrete
and permasteel used by many other cultures, Obi-Wan put both Qui-Gon and Anakin
out of his mind and focused on trying to identify the nature of the barrier.
Portable energy shield generators produced visible barriers of translucent
color based on what type of lazing system and components used. So this wasn't
that, even if the technology was available on Erinne, at least not as a
standard security system in a private individual's home. That meant it was some
form of Force-based energy field, yet even if Obi-Wan couldn't have pushed his
way through it, he should have been able to identify it as such. Or it was some
form of technology he was unfamiliar with.
Or something completely different, like mystical or psychic energy. Which meant
he should be able to find the being manipulating the energy, even if he did
know what the energy was.
"This is working," Qui-Gon called out, breaking Obi-Wan's train of thought.
With reluctance the knight turned away from Anakin and moved nearer just as
Qui-Gon pushed a third block away. Obi-Wan caught Qui-Gon's eye and stepped up
to the opening, first reaching with his hand through the hole, then with his
entire body when he meet no resistance.
They ended up in another corridor, one giving a sense of abandonment greater
than the others they had passed through to find these rooms. It was also much
narrower, and filled with sheeted obstructions that appeared to be mostly soft-
focused shadows for how much dust lay upon them. A service corridor then, one
that passed almost secretly along the floor, no doubt only connecting to rooms
where servants long ago would have congregated or worked from before answering
the owners' summons. It wouldn't give the two Jedi much room to maneuver, but
if they stayed mindful they could both work on creating a new passageway, which
Obi-Wan had a feeling would be useful. He was beginning to feel time was
getting away from them.
Walking them down a few feet past where Anakin's bed stood, Obi-Wan hoped he
was accurately placing an empty wall space. Not that he would worry too much
about cutting through the ancient wooden armoire and the garish clothing
within, however, if his calculations were slightly off.
This time they worked to make the opening almost five feet across and somewhat
higher so Qui-Gon could pass through it even while carrying Anakin should Obi-
Wan need to defend them against ... something. Again it seemed to be working,
at least their blades passed into, then through the stone. Of course the
barrier could be a foot or so beyond the stone ...
It wasn't, or somehow the stones could pass through the barrier, for when they
Force-pushed the debris it moved forward into Anakin's side of the room with no
difficulty. This was beginning to show signs of a test instead of a real
threat, and Obi-Wan's feeling of disquiet intensified even as he could now
approach his padawan. And something was still blocking his mental connection to
his padawan.
"The energy field is dissipating," Qui-Gon remarked as he moved past Anakin's
bed toward Obi-Wan's and the bath.
Obi-Wan frowned, as the coincidence of their bypassing the field and the timing
of its fading seemed to support the idea of someone testing and being directly
aware of their actions. He gripped his unlit lightsaber tighter in hand;
wearing only the borrowed shirt, he had no place to hang the weapon, yet he
wouldn't have so disarmed himself even if he were in full Jedi garb.
Qui-Gon had opened the door to the main corridor, positioning himself to watch
for potential trouble from that quarter and he did extend his own blade. It
should have been the only light in the room, but now Obi-Wan could observe a
faint, pale nimbus surrounding Anakin's body. The energy field that had blocked
the doors hadn't been so discernable; yet Obi-Wan approached this one just as
cautiously, testing to see whether it blanketed only his padawan or extended
beyond what was visible.
Using Force-sight the glow was brighter, almost containing color instead of
just light, and Obi-Wan was reminded of his master when Mace Windu had passed
into the Force. Which immediately brought to mind the reason for their presence
on Erinne, that of a ghost. That might also be a Sith, or at least seeking out
a Sith's magics. But he could sense nothing remotely sentient within the glow
itself, just a muting of Anakin's presence below it, not only blocking their
link, but somewhat smothering Anakin's life force.
This alarmed Obi-Wan even more but he willed his fear into the Force and
continued to probe the field. He could not sense any danger to his padawan,
could better see that Anakin breathed, if somewhat shallowly. While Obi-Wan
couldn't sense if Anakin dreamt or was fighting his imprisonment within his
mind, the teen looked no more restless than he normally did, lying prone across
the bed in a sprawl of limbs that would have to be corrected once his padawan
found someone to share it with. Obi-Wan had many memories of being nudged off
to one side and out of the blanket in the times they had, by lack of foresight
or accommodations, been forced by necessity to find their rest together.
His use of the Force changed nothing and finally Obi-Wan reached out with his
hand toward this energy field. From the corner of his eye he could see Qui-Gon
vibrating, looking as if he wanted to move from his defensive position, but
willing himself to stay put. Obi-Wan wouldn't have minded the older Jedi's more
direct back up himself, but recognized and appreciated Qui-Gon's prudence in
staying where he was just the same. Despite all they'd been able to determine,
apparently they weren't alone in this house.
Physical touch provided what his Force probe had not, but almost before he
could register the sensation being not unlike things crawling up and under his
skin, the glow disappeared and the field collapsed. In the next moment Anakin
was rolling over, then moving up and out of the bed while calling his
lightsaber to his hand in a duplicate of Obi-Wan's awakening. Except that
Anakin had thumbed the blade on even before his mind registered he was awake.
Or registered who stood before him.
"Ani, no!"
Obi-Wan ignited his own weapon in a frantic parry as his padawan's longer blade
swept out toward him. He also attempted to reopen the mental link between them
even as he could feel Anakin's shields snap up in response to feeling the Force
being used against him. Obi-Wan scowled and countered the aggressive Force
probes launched both physically and mentally against him.
"Anakin, Padawan!"
But still no change and Obi-Wan felt another surge reach for him, this time
from farther away. For an instant he couldn't move, but neither could Anakin,
and so he forestalled turning his own mental abilities to attack once he
recognized the meaning and the paralysis' origin. Indeed, he settled back into
the invisible bonds, could see and feel as Anakin reacted to this intrusion
just as automatically as he had to Obi-Wan's proximity to him. Then also
registered Anakin's dawning awareness as first his padawan realized he couldn't
easy free himself before finally sensing who he was now and had been fighting.
When he stopped struggling, Qui-Gon released the Force-hold he had placed on
them both.
"M-master!"
Now Anakin's horror and guilt buffeted their link and Obi-Wan instantly
returned soothing understanding and comfort. He closed the distance between
them as Anakin dropped his saber and his knees buckled, catching up his padawan
and dropping down with him so that they both landed on their knees. Qui-Gon's
presence was closer now, a deep well of compassion laced with sharp concern,
and Obi-Wan didn't even think of the ethics or rightness of drawing upon some
of that boundless support to help bolster his own frayed confidence and nerves.
Obi-Wan had known from their first meeting that Anakin could channel more raw
energy from the Force than he could himself, that it was only his training and
experience that kept him ahead and able to teach his padawan. One day soon
Anakin would finally learn to control what was still mostly unconscious talent,
and would no doubt eventually even surpass Master Yoda's command of the Force,
leaving Obi-Wan and every other Jedi far behind.
But Anakin needed a master right now, not an equal or a friend. He needed
someone to hold him and tell him that things would be okay even though he had
committed the one unpardonable sin a padawan could do - draw his saber with
aggressive intent against his master. Despite the action being unintentional,
the Code made few allowances for padawans or initiates who couldn't control
themselves or succumbed to outside influence as it did for those who willfully
turned. Anakin knew this -- Obi-Wan knew this. And now he would have to
convince Anakin that it didn't matter, that he wasn't about to mention this to
the Council or any one else --
Damn, Qui-Gon knew this also.
For a moment he lifted his attention from Anakin, becoming aware of just how
much he was drawing upon Qui-Gon's energy and presence, and how freely they
were being given. Yes, Qui-Gon had witnessed what had just happened, but he
wasn't going to let it ruin Anakin's chances of becoming a knight either.
Obi-Wan sighed. Now to convince Anakin. Offering forgiveness and counsel would
have been much easier to do if Anakin hadn't retreated far back into his own
mind, however. And if Obi-Wan's own mind and body didn't feel as if he'd
challenge all twelve of the Jedi High Council to steal his most private
memories by bludgeoning away his mental shields, while at the same time he was
performing the fifteenth level of the Sun's Furnace kata in a more than doubled
normal gravity field and in the midst of a Tatooine sand storm.
"Ani -- Padawan!" he finally commanded in his sternest master tones, both
mentally and verbally, and with his hand firmly grasping Anakin's chin to bring
it up. Anakin's eyes flew open as expected, and Obi-Wan fixed him with his
gaze, not letting his padawan turn away or hide his face.
"Ani, it is alright," he said much more softly, but still with a core of steel
and the Force underlying his words. "You were reacting to a threat - yes there
was a real threat here!" he forcibly spoke over the protest Anakin began to
make. "There is - was - something here, not a full presence but certainly an
intent. Qui-Gon and I were being kept from you while ... something was trying
to get to you."
Now that Anakin's eyes and expression began to clear with just a hint of calm
and hope, Obi-Wan let go of his hold on his padawan's chin, smoothing away the
bruises he had undoubtedly left with a light touch and a tendril of the Force.
He then rocked back to sit on his feet, surprised but managing to hide his
flinch when he felt Qui-Gon's very solid legs against his back. When Qui-Gon's
hand came down to his shoulder after first brushing surreptitiously down the
back of his head and across his neck, Obi-Wan even relaxed into the offered
physical and emotional support so that he could give all of his own to Anakin.
"Ignoring what passed between us as you came out of your sleep, how do you
feel, Padawan?" he then asked, making a conscious effort not to lean into Qui-
Gon's touch too much. "Do you sense anything wrong or out of the ordinary?"
Obi-Wan didn't himself, not any more. But he wasn't convinced that what he had
seen and felt had simply dissipated because of his touch.
The alleged ending to this ... test had been so like the last moment of their
shared vision; him facing down Anakin as his padawan tried to kill him.
Anakin shifted back to sitting on his own feet and hung his head, but this time
Obi-Wan couldn't sense any accompanying shame. Which allowed him to mentally
pull away from all but the most basic bond between them. While he could still
feel Anakin perform a series of mental and physical checks before confirming
what Obi-Wan had hoped, Obi-Wan stayed away from all of those private places
Anakin needed to check to ensure his wellness.
"I don't feel anything strange, Master. No presence, no misplaced thought or
emotion."
"Except for the guilt," Obi-Wan said with a patient smile. "May I also check,
Padawan?" As Anakin's master he could have insisted or just done so without
asking, but Obi-Wan had never before invasively forced himself into Anakin's
mind without permission, and couldn't fathom doing so now. Especially now, if
someone else already had.
Anakin's surface emotions had always been easy to read (as were his padawan's
expressions), and now so were his surface thoughts as their bond continued to
evolve and grow. But he would need to go much deeper than Anakin's surface
memories to make sure that the intruder was not simply lying dormant within.
Even at the best of times this was not one of Obi-Wan's specialties. Nor did
his padawan have a more typical Jedi's Force sensitivity. Should the teen fight
the probe, they could both end up in a lot of trouble.
Qui-Gon's hand tightened around his shoulder and he let his head twist to look
up at the other Jedi while he gave Anakin time to prepare himself. Although the
light was now almost non-existent -- just the diffused glow from the bath Qui-
Gon had passed through to reach them at Obi-Wan's mental call, the blue of Qui-
Gon's eyes caught his own and Obi-Wan accepted the calm and confidence the
other master offered, drawing it into himself as he had the energy he'd been
offered earlier. Fully aware that he would not be handling any of this nearly
as well if Qui-Gon had not been present, he let his gratitude and quiet delight
in Qui-Gon's support shine back out of his own gaze.
Then turned to face his padawan when Anakin took hold of his hands.
Obi-Wan led them into a shared communion, letting Anakin do much of the
reaching out. He had to know his padawan agreed to this.
Nor was it as hard to filter out Qui-Gon's presence as he might have thought;
then Obi-Wan realized that he hadn't ... exactly. He was still mentally aware
of Qui-Gon's closeness, although he could no longer feel the hand that lay on
his shoulder. All concerns with the outside environment gave way to his
internal landscape, and here he could see that his mind had already made a
welcoming place for the other master. Just as he had for Anakin at Mace's
death.
For just an instant, memory of his first sharing of this type of togetherness
with Qui-Gon flashed across his mind's eye, seeing Qui-Gon superimposed on some
of the events he and his master had shared together from the hyperspace
visions. Somewhat ruthlessly he twisted away from what had become desire and
alternity mixed, feeling a spasm of guilt to so dishonor his memories of Mace
Windu by wishing the other had been there instead and thinking of what might
have been. The need to block his feelings of guilt from Anakin greatly helped
Obi-Wan turn away from the Force-fed fantasy of being with Qui-Gon.
He gathered up Anakin's own guilt and fear and wrapped it within love and
comfort. As he had already assessed on a surface level, no taint of otherness
permeated their bond and so Obi-Wan dropped deeper, buoyed by Anakin's
willingness and his own commitment to protect this cherished soul.
Finding Anakin's memory of when the manifestation had stolen over him was
difficult, for it was buried deep within the teen's subconscious. Outwardly
Anakin had not sensed anything amiss when it had begun, passing from one dream
state into another, as even a Jedi's dreams were wont to do. But Anakin's
connection to the Force was so very strong despite his lack of control that
some part of his mind had registered the alien presence. And had just as
quickly rejected it. Obi-Wan could feel an echo of frustration and
determination that was not solely Anakin's.
So there was a spark of intelligence behind the occurrence.
Now that Obi-Wan had the barest feel of the other, he wanted - needed - to
trace it further than just assuring himself that it no longer resided in Anakin
as anything other than vague memory. This, even more than his deep probe of
Anakin's mind would be difficult, even painful. And not something for his own
comfort that he wanted Anakin involved in; his padawan already had too much of
connection to this ... Other.
Fortunately, using the Force to put his padawan to sleep was not difficult,
especially from so far within, and when Anakin was already fighting to stay
awake on his own.
Obi-Wan knew he should do more than just assume that Qui-Gon would see to
Anakin's comfort, that he should let the other know what he was planning. That
the danger to Anakin - and themselves - had been alleviated.
At least until he aroused the Other's ire by trying to pursue and observe it.
But Obi-Wan had never been one to put off an onerous duty, nor to accept
uncomfortable consequences as being a reason to ignore what needed to be done.
Again he spared a second of gratitude for the Master Jedi's presence; had it
just been him and Anakin, Obi-Wan would never had been able to attempt this
next bit for fear of being too disoriented to then see to and protect Anakin
should something more happen. Yes, he was taking Qui-Gon for granted, but it
did seem to be for the greater good.
Still he'd apologize. Later.
Obi-Wan opened himself up to the part of his mind he normally kept closed off
or at least under strict control. It was like blinders being taken away from
his inner eye as between one deep breath and the next, his mind filled with
patterns of Force. It would be so easy to get caught up and lost within the
myriad of possibilities and past occurrences, but in this he did have training.
And this time, a most decided purpose.
Deftly Obi-Wan sought out the new thread of something intertwining around
Anakin. It took a little more effort not to look into the possibilities, not to
see all of the potential futures this pattern could weave into his and Anakin's
life. Perhaps he should, but he had neither the energy or the stamina to make
this a long vision quest, not and still have the ability to use the imprint of
the Other to actually find him - it - him.
A definite him.
Obi-Wan didn't let himself get distracted in trying to actually picture the
Other, and when he eased Anakin out of the thread the pathway became even more
nebulous, and not just because the two of them no longer had any common ground
of interaction. The Other had little interaction or connection to any others.
Which made it much more likely that this was their ghost rather than simply
another Force user.
With that thought Obi-Wan tugged his shields tighter around his mind and
started to slow down. Were he to confront the ghost here on a mental plane, he
would be at a decided disadvantage, especially with how worn out he had been
before even beginning the trace. Far better to simply lurk for just a moment,
maybe try and confirm what his heart and intellect was telling him, but keep
the Other from being aware he was even there. Unfortunately that would take a
lot more finesse than what Obi-Wan was feeling up to.
But to come this close and not come away with anything more than a few vague
suspicions -
Just as he decided that last thought was more vanity and arrogance than
prudence, he felt a tug against his mind. And a sharp push against his shields.
He fought both, yet the push began growing in strength. In pain.
Whether he had slipped up and made the Other aware of his presence, or whether
the Other might just have been doing a little mental reconnaissance of his own,
Obi-Wan had been found.
And the Other was not pleased.
He was also better at this than Obi-Wan was, perhaps not in life, but
exceedingly so in death. Obi-Wan felt his shields shake beneath a bludgeon of
power and for an instant his awareness of anything - everything - wavered. He
struggled to keep hold of his sense of self, but the patterns of the universe
overrode memory and ego, overwhelming his control and threatening to fling
pieces of him out of time and into every possible past, present or future. But
he recognized the ploy, this not being the first time another sought to use his
connection to the Unifying Force against him. Such was how Sith preferred to
attack.
He had only to reach back to his link with Anakin -
Almost too late he recognized the trap for what it was, could sense that
although there had been no trace of the Other left in Anakin, he had not
checked for the same within his own mind. Had he sought the safety and
steadiness of his bond with his padawan, he would have been stuck there, caught
in a prison comprised of their combined insecurities so recently rediscovered
in their shared vision. That future was very much on the Other's - the Sith's -
mind; his own power and desire to make it come about, a very real danger here
within the mindscape of the Force.
For a moment Obi-Wan felt keen despair, which let disorientation overtake him
again. And he paused, as much as he could when even remembering to breathe took
almost all of his effort. He considered ceasing to fight, that it might be
better to allow his own consciousness to be scattered within the patterns of
the Force than to doom Anakin along with himself to a pit of insanity. Or
Darkness. True, Anakin might lose his way anyway upon seeing his master fall,
but there were other Jedi who cared. Who might be able to help his padawan.
Certainly Qui-Gon had shown a willingness -
Of course! That tug in the same instant that the Sith had attacked. Qui-Gon had
been offering himself as an anchor. If Obi-Wan could just reach for that
touchstone ...
It was still there. Undiscovered or disregarded, and certainly not warded
against by the Sith. Qui-Gon's pattern burned almost as brightly within the
Force as Anakin's to Obi-Wan, promising a different sort of safety that he fled
toward with all of the power left within him.
******
After settling Anakin back onto his bed, Qui-Gon resumed his position next to
where Obi-Wan still knelt on the floor. He had not been surprised to feel Obi-
Wan put his padawan under, certainly thought it fitting since Anakin had done
the same to his master only days before and with just as little notice. But
Qui-Gon hadn't been expecting for Obi-Wan not to come out of the trance almost
immediately afterward, and now found himself wondering what he might do to
help. Or do to at least to let the knight know that he wasn't alone.
Qui-Gon had no experience in the type of probing Obi-Wan had been attempting;
the only thing remotely close to such use of the Force he had ever undertaken
was psychically reading the memory residue of the various artifacts he had
discovered or unearthed in the course of his research. Even when still training
Xanatos, he'd never needed to perform any sort of deep reading to test his
padawan. Nor had he ever been the recipient of such a communion from another
Jedi.
But he was not surprised at how uncomfortable it had made both master and
padawan, before Obi-Wan had used a Force compulsion to push Anakin to sleep.
Although just as unskilled with the second phase of whatever Obi-Wan now
pursued, Qui-Gon still sensed when it began to go wrong. Instantly he dropped
down behind Obi-Wan and clutched the distressed form in his arms even as he
strengthened the passive mental connection between them. Because he still
wasn't sure what Obi-Wan was doing or where the knight's focus was, Qui-Gon
made no direct mental forays himself, not even into the Force. Without the
understanding he would likely hinder things more than help, perhaps even
putting himself or Obi-Wan at risk. But he could offer his presence. And more
of his energy -- whatever the knight needed.
Whatever Obi-Wan needed.
A couple more minutes passed before Qui-Gon could sense that Obi-Wan was
surfacing from whatever he'd been doing. The knight came back to his
surroundings with a deliberate shake, then a moan of obvious pain in response
to moving his head. Qui-Gon gathered him up a little tighter, not enough to
make Obi-Wan feel trapped within his embrace, but certainly enough for Obi-Wan
to know he wasn't alone.
And almost immediately Obi-Wan relaxed his body and let his head drop back
against Qui-Gon's shoulder. Qui-Gon brought up a hand to wipe away some of the
sweat from the knight's brow, and the few tears that had spilled from beneath
Obi-Wan's lashes. Much as he had done on the Udan Orr, Qui-Gon focused tendrils
of healing energy with his fingertips, not knowing what hurt, exactly, but
unable to sit idly by.
"I found our Ghost."
The words hung in the air, barely spoken, barely even breathed. Qui-Gon wasn't
sure if trying to collect his thoughts or speaking was proving difficult for
Obi-Wan, or if, instead, his own ministrations were soothing the knight to the
point of lethargy. He could hope for the latter, but feared it was the first,
especially as no matter how he tried, the tiny furrows between Obi-Wan's brow
didn't fade.
Although he knew asking questions would just keep the knight from seeking the
rest he so obviously needed, Qui-Gon also knew Obi-Wan was expecting them. "Is
it actually nearby - here?"
A quick shake of his head had Obi-Wan biting his bottom lip and Qui-Gon wincing
in sympathy. "Its influence is here, but not the ghost itself. We were not in
contact long enough for me to find out much, but I got the impression it is
tied to somewhere or something else right now. And it doesn't want to be."
Qui-Gon smoothed his thumb over the single upraised corner of Obi-Wan's lips.
"I don't suppose it just wants to pass on?"
This time Obi-Wan remembered not to shake his head again. He did open his eyes
though, and offered an upside down, tired smile that disappeared all too soon.
"It was at least Sith trained, if not a full Sith at the time of his death. No
he doesn't want to pass on. He's seeking something or someone -"
"Anakin?" Qui-Gon had to ask. Given the teen's raw abilities in the Force,
Anakin would be quite a prize for any Sith, alive or dead. Despite his lack of
control and inexperience, Anakin wouldn't be easy to control or corrupt, of
course, but would be well worth the effort should the Sith prove successful.
The same would be true for either himself or Obi-Wan, but directing the effort
against the teen would appear to be the better use of the Sith's limited energy
instead of challenging older and more experienced Jedi.
Unfortunately, if the Sith knew enough not to even try to take over either of
them, it would also likely know it would have to eliminate them in order to
have full access to Anakin. So all three of them were still no doubt in
significant danger, just endangered differently.
"I think it wants to use Anakin, but that is not its only goal." Obi-Wan's eyes
suddenly widened. "Is Ani -" and he started to pull away.
"He's okay," Qui-Gon murmured into the knight's hair, not letting him break the
hold. He then scooted back the few inches to lean against Anakin's bedside,
shifting them both so that Obi-Wan could twist and reach for Anakin's hand and
find his own comfort and answers. Instantly Obi-Wan brought his padawan's hand
to where he could feel the steady pulse against his cheek.
"He's fine," Qui-Gon repeated. "He's comfortably sleeping."
Obi-Wan gave the barest of nods and a ghost of a smile, then all but collapsed
back against Qui-Gon's chest and neck. "I wish I was."
"Sleeping or fine?" Qui-Gon asked lightly, though he also genuinely wanted to
know the answer.
"How about both?" came with another wry twist to the corner of Obi-Wan's mouth.
"Or maybe just wishing I could be the padawan this time, and let someone else
take the responsibility."
And how much did Obi-Wan have to be hurting in some form to admit something
like that?
Qui-Gon had to work to keep from tightening his hold again, and contented
himself with rubbing his fingers up and down Obi-Wan's arm, ignoring the
trembling he could feel even as he sought to ease it. Ever since being shown an
alternate reality where he had been Obi-Wan's master, Qui-Gon had been finding
it hard not to have proprietary feelings about the knight despite how that
might be received.
Yes, he was the older of the two, but Obi-Wan definitely had more experience in
the field, and just about as much in training a padawan. Not to mention in
dealing directly with Sith. Qui-Gon would do everything he could to help, of
course, but he didn't know the first thing about taking the lead on this sort
of mission.
But maybe he could do something.
"How about I take responsibility for getting us through the rest of the night,"
he offered. And putting actions to words, he snagged the down filled coverlet
that Anakin had pushed to the end of his bed. Qui-Gon then gently shifted Obi-
Wan off of his lap, but didn't let him out of the circle of one arm,
encouraging the knight to lean against him as he wrapped the blanket around
both their shoulders. Using a bit of the Force he called Obi-Wan's saber into
his hand and set it onto Obi-Wan's lap after shifting his own to the floor
underneath the hand not holding the knight's head against his shoulder.
That Obi-Wan made only the most minor of non-verbal protests convinced Qui-Gon
he was taking the proper stance. While not the most comfortable position to
sleep in, the carpet beneath them was thick and warm, and he truly doubted Obi-
Wan would sleep any better in his bed, as it was too far to reach out and
physically touch his padawan. As for him, he would drowse or meditate, using
the Force to set a portion of his awareness to keeping watch throughout what
remained of the night.
Qui-Gon found it easy enough to just stay awake, and eventually light began
creeping through the open door to the major hallway and windows somewhere
uncovered just without. He hadn't needed to be responsible for another's well
being in years and frankly, had found it refreshing and comforting if in an odd
sense. He spent most of the time, however, musing more specifically on Obi-Wan
and the relationship that seemed to be developing between them.
Having sex -- or nearly so -- was much easier than trusting someone well enough
to fall asleep against him.
Actually, his overall welcome by both Obi-Wan and Anakin still amazed him. The
three of them had known each other for less than a week, but Qui-Gon already
felt part of their lives, of their future. Some of that came from the Force, he
knew, but not all. His own experience and expertise had been sought, his
ongoing presence encouraged. He'd been shown respect as well as trust, and
given friendship and camaraderie. Friend, yes, and maybe eventually partner?
Who would ever have imagined he'd find such a place at this stage of his life?
He couldn't ignore his considerable attraction to Obi-Wan either. Not
conventionally handsome, Obi-Wan wouldn't be considered unattractive by those
who enjoyed the looks of humanity. It was just that the force of Obi-Wan's
personality and character far outstripped his physical appearance. From the
beginning Qui-Gon had recognized this knight as the type of Jedi his youthful
self had secretly wanted to become when he grew up. Adventurous and skilled in
the Force, remarkable with weapons, and a natural-born leader, Obi-Wan's easy
good nature could inspire confidence and light a room with his mere presence.
Then there was his quirky grin and that full, heart-stopping smile.
Not to mention the sheer awe he'd felt in when observing of Obi-Wan and Anakin
together.
Theirs was a rapport to envy, no matter what the other masters might think
about Anakin's informality. Certainly the two were closer friends than he and
Xanatos had ever managed. And they would, no doubt, remain so long after Anakin
achieved his knighthood.
If he could be a part of making sure that goal was achieved, that their
friendship stayed intact, Qui-Gon would consider his life well spent.
Even when it meant having to wake the two when he knew further sleep would be
most welcome. Unfortunately for their current circumstances, sleep and recovery
were not the things most needed now.
At least Anakin had seemed to rest easy through the remainder of the night. And
once Obi-Wan had allowed himself to be tucked within the embrace of Qui-Gon's
arm, even he had settled, not even stirring when Qui-Gon had used the Force to
build up the fire again to have it last through the rest of the night, then
built it up once more so that there'd be no chill in the room once they began
to move about. Qui-Gon feared the knight would still need hours of meditation
in addition to more sleep, however, before he properly sorted and banished the
remnants of the Sith's presence from his mind.
Would that they would have enough time for that to happen.
Unfortunately, Qui-Gon suspected, now that the Sith knew it was being actively
hunted, it would become even more aggressive.
Just the flexing first of his fingers, then his entire arm which had fallen
asleep right along with Obi-Wan, woke the knight. He came alert with a start,
his hand immediately reaching out for his lightsaber, though his training held
and he did not light it as Anakin had from his surprise too few hours earlier.
As he watched surreptitiously, Qui-Gon could almost see Obi-Wan's thoughts
replaying what had led to him being in such a position, and was gratified when
Obi-Wan relaxed back against him for just a moment before pulling away.
"Good morning," Qui-Gon offered, although he held back from taking a quick
kiss. Somehow the ease and ardor of the night before seemed out of place in the
light of day. At least until they'd all dealt with the ramifications of all
that had happened in the night.
The look offered in return had him suspecting a disagreement with his
characterization of the day to come; that or Obi-Wan was not a morning person
by natural inclination. At least no obvious pain still caused the knight's brow
to furrow or backlight his eyes, and Obi-Wan gained his feet without exhibiting
any of the swollenness in his ankle of the night before. He also managed to
dredge up a smile to offer as he took a quick glance at his padawan before
offering a soft hello of his own. Then promptly began a series of stretches and
muscle isolations that left Qui-Gon's body twinging in sympathy.
And instantly hard with arousal despite his intent to the contrary.
Spending a few seconds ruthlessly willing his emotions and body back under
control, Qui-Gon rose himself. He began to move more slowly into a set of katas
that comprised his own cure for poor sleep. With surprise Qui-Gon found he
finished before Obi-Wan. Which left him little to do other than take another
opportunity to simply watch Obi-Wan move. And to then find he was not the only
one so indulging himself.
Which was more effective than a cold shower in dismissing the stirrings of a
reawakened erection.
Anakin hadn't moved beyond raising his eyelids, but he watched his master with
a hunger barely contained, with a predatoriness quite different than the mere
hormonally driven interest he'd been trying to hide the evening before.
Qui-Gon well knew it was not uncommon for a padawan to become attracted to his
master, especially as such a vulnerable age and stage in Anakin's development.
But such feelings could prove not only detrimental to the current mission, but
to the master/padawan pairing overall, assuming Anakin discovered Obi-Wan was
ready to share his affections with another. Certainly the strength and tenor of
what was being directed toward Obi-Wan right now was definitely something to be
concerned about.
The three of them absolutely needed to talk about the future.
Preferably before the Sith ghost began to try and influence it.
5.
While not the first morning Anakin had awakened with an erection, never before
did he remember feeling quite so aroused, nor having such a focus for his
desires as in both of the two men before him. With his master only wearing a
shirt, and Master Jinn only wearing a pair of pants, it was all Anakin could do
to decide which man to watch.
For all that he had teased his master about developing the typical padawan
crush, Anakin had convinced himself it would never happen, last night he had
begun to speculate on what it might be like to have sex with his master, and
those speculations had not faded now that he should be looking at his hormones
with rational thought instead of emotion. Before Master Jinn's obvious
interest, Anakin could at least convince himself he wasn't quite sure if he
could deal with trying to satisfy someone who pretty much controlled his future
even were he to ever manage to get his master to see him and not be reminded of
his lost lover Bruck.
There were simply too many issues of control and imbalance, not to mention what
could happen to their master/padawan pairing should they try a more intimate
relationship at this stage in his life and training, and have it not work out.
Of course, dwelling on all of that only had him shifting again to consider
Master Jinn, this time not as a rival, but as an opportunity.
Definitely older, perhaps a little too sedate and probably bookish, but still
the older master had a quality of serenity and hidden depth that intrigued
Anakin probably about as much as it seemed to intrigue his master. Just the
thought of those depths, of being the one to challenge that serenity ...
Certainly if he was going to consider an older lover, he could see it being
someone like Master Jinn, and someone who hadn't been one of those who had been
judging his abilities and suitability since his first days at the Temple.
Beyond Master Mace and his own master, Master Jinn had been the first Jedi not
to pre-judge him based on his stupid midichlorian count, or the rumors of him
being the damned chosen one! Which wasn't exactly the best reason to base a
relationship on, nor was he sure he was actually interested, but damn if he
wasn't feeling horny!
Thank the Force he had automatically tightened his shields in an attempt to be
able to sleep - pretend to sleep -- for a few more moments. These were not
thoughts he wanted his master to even accidentally overhear.
Maybe they weren't his own thoughts anyway; maybe he was simply being
influenced by the emotions the two masters weren't really trying very hard to
disguise. Maybe it was their desires acting on his own hormones.
It wasn't like he really thought he was ready for a relationship, or even sex
with someone, although he knew a few of his age mates had begun experimenting.
And, should he make a play for either master, he'd be getting in the way of the
other, and a triangle was definitely not how he wanted his first sexual
relationship to be framed.
Yet on the other hand, trying something with both of the other two --
Giving a snort of self-directed disgust, Anakin threw back the bedcovers and
jumped out of bed, offering a chipper greeting to both men as he bounded across
the room.
"First dibs on the fresher, Masters!"
Needing to piss would be an acceptable excuse for his hard on should it be
noticed. But something else then registered on his mind with a greater urgency
than the call of nature or his hormones, and he paused at the door to the bath.
He'd noted what the others were wearing by how the clothing had enhanced their
desirability, but only now noted he was wearing a shirt somewhat similar to his
master's.
He had no memory -- well, maybe a very vague memory of putting it on -- no, of
having it put on him. But he definitely had no memory of actually getting into
bed, of falling asleep, although he did remember having at least one nightmare,
now forgotten other than as a residual horror, nightmare. So his master must
have put him to bed, and he could almost recall something that could have been
a compulsion, but --
"Ah, Master, did something more happen last night after you dressed my bod -
- my hand?"
Had Anakin not been intimately familiar with the sequence his master was
performing, he would have sworn the smooth pivot and upturn next undertaken
were truly part of the kata. He smothered a sigh at how effortlessly his master
modified something thousands of years old, not for the first time despairing of
ever being that natural in the physical arts or the Force. High midichlorian
count be damned, he was the greenest novice when he compared himself to his
master!
"Then don't compare yourself," was offered archly, his master holding the leg,
arm and neck extension beyond any reasonable length, showing no concern for how
this lifted his shirt midway up his hips.
And so far ignoring Anakin's spoken question.
"Concentrate on your own strengths and weaknesses and stop making everything a
competition."
Anakin flushed, not only in being told again words he had heard too many times
before, but for needing to be told. And for being so easily read. Not to
mention being so easily distracted by a peak of forbidden flesh.
His flush deepened as Anakin considered just how long his master might have
been reading him, or might still be reading him now, but then he calmed when
meeting only a sympathetic expression. There was no disappointment or censure
there, just patience and perhaps even a bit of curiosity.
Out of his own sense of morbid curiosity Anakin flicked his attention toward
Master Jinn as he wasn't quite sure that the Force might not be exhibiting a
perverse sense of ... something at his expense, and perhaps both men were aware
of the nature of Anakin's thoughts upon awakening. There he found more concern
than patience, and something that might have been the awareness he was hoping
not to find. But he also found what he thought could be understanding.
And eddies and currents of energy gathered thickly within this room. Nothing
that seemed threatening or dangerous, but undeniably something more than he -
- or they -- were generating. While it didn't quite feel similar to the clichéd
calm before a storm, Anakin had the impression the Force was now waiting for
something. Watching.
And that was just a little too much for him to face right upon awakening.
"Never mind, Master, it will keep but my bladder with not," he offered with his
most winsome smile. If something had happened the night before, he'd be told. "
I'll be out in a few minutes."
"Leave some hot water," came clearly through the door as he pulled it closed.
Yeah. Like he'd be using any hot water.
******
"He doesn't remember last night."
Eyes closed again for the last few moves of Breeze Over Mountain, Obi-Wan
sighed out the breath he'd been holding and nodded at the Jedi Master's
observation. This morning Obi-Wan felt as old and just as worn as the wind-
etched stones he always visualized when performing this kata. In most times
past he was the breeze and the mountain was an obstruction or challenge to
overcome. The end of the kata should leave him feeling lively and with a
renewed sense of purpose as there were always ways around, over, or through the
mountain.
Today, though. Today --
"I am loath to remind him of what did happen."
He should have tried something less demanding, like Rain Over Rock.
But rain generally depressed instead of energized him, and he needed no more
excuses to drive him back to the sleep he'd already shortchanged his body. Not
to mention that he'd get enough exposure to physical rain before they finished
here on Erinne to actively seek it out in his meditations or training katas.
Refusing to give up, Obi-Wan instead reached for the timeless patience of the
mountain to settle into his bones, determined to get something from his
efforts.
"But he needs to know, not only what we're truly up against, but of his own
vulnerability to it," Qui-Gon challenged, as if Obi-Wan's thought of wanting to
keep all of this away from Anakin was also what he would choose to do.
Except then Qui-Gon moved until he was standing just inches away, close enough
for Obi-Wan to feel the warmth of his presence and body. To breathe in Qui-
Gon's exhalations. And for Obi-Wan to feel the confidence and trust being
offered.
Obi-Wan sighed again, but out of relief this time. He made no move to restore a
proper distance between them. And when Qui-Gon began to mirror his movements,
Obi-Wan let a frission of desire and delight overtake him. He moved into the
moment instead of worrying about Anakin and the future, if only for a few more
of those moments.
Not since his master's death had Obi-Wan followed another's lead in even
something as simple as a kata; concerned that somehow doing so would diminish
his stature in Anakin's eyes. A part of him balked even now should his padawan
finish his ablutions before he and Qui-Gon finished this active meditation. But
the saner part of him was willing to reach for any aid in restoring his
fractured control, and to ease the still present strain from his psychic
confrontation with the Sith.
Breeze Over Mountain turned into Petals Falling on Grass, and Obi-Wan's
anxieties turned into calm. He found his center and found the answer to a
question that he hadn't yet dared to dwell on. The rapport he and Qui-Gon
shared in the salle had not been a one-time event, not just a gentle push from
the Force to encourage the two of them to consider working this mission
together. Once again they moved as one, anticipating, knowing the moves the
other would make as the lead changed between them, then back again as Qui-Gon
nudged them both into Sunlight Over Stream, turning the calmness of their
movements into something a bit more spirited to end with.
Tempted only for a moment to take them even further with Stone Skipping Across
Brook, Obi-Wan let their kata come to a close instead. There wasn't really
enough open space within this room to perform some of the aerial movements of
that one, nor was he sure of how Qui-Gon might have reacted to something so
aggressively energetic since the man's size more naturally cast him into the
ground based, yet sensuous form of the kata. Then there was Anakin, who had
finally slunk back out of the `fresher and had stood gaping instead of joining
them.
The living reminder of Obi-Wan's responsibilities as master and Jedi.
And of why Obi-Wan had not ceded control to someone else since his own master's
death.
Even if he thought to spare Anakin the rigors of a morning workout, they still
needed to discuss the multiple occurrences of the night just past. How what had
first happened might affect their mission, and what the following events would
mean more specifically to the current day's plans. Trying to get to the capitol
might be a waste of time if the Sith had already found them.
"Qui-Gon, while I take Anakin through a few forms, would you see if you can
find something edible for breakfast after your shower?" He ignored the look of
dismay suddenly gracing Anakin's face and the theatrical groan. Despite his
immediate protests, Anakin must have anticipated this however; the teen hadn't
bothered with his morning shower despite the length of time he had spent in the
other room.
Obi-Wan bit back a smile at Anakin's expense, knowing full well what had kept
his padawan so occupied. He remembered being that age and watching his own
master with a surreptitious eye. Hormones didn't need any emotional involvement
to bring about a physical reaction. And while he knew he and Anakin would have
to have another talk soon about what his padawan thought his emotional
involvement was or should be, Obi-Wan rather imagined his own morning shower
would need be a bit colder for having worked so satisfactorily with Qui-Gon.
"I won't promise any epicurean treats, but I'll manage," Qui-Gon offered as he
changed places with Anakin.
Still tired and heartsick on Anakin's behalf, even with the work he'd done with
Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan let the teen chose which kata he wanted them to perform
instead of trying to pick something appropriate himself. Anakin well knew this
exercise was more to keep him on a disciplined schedule than from worrying
about losing any sort of tone should he miss a day or two, and so made no more
complaint. And pleasantly surprised his master by choosing Fire With No Smoke,
one of the more challenging forms Anakin had not yet fully mastered.
As if recognizing his master needing some form of distraction -- and not just
from Qui-Gon.
Obi-Wan let his pride in the choice and insight show in his expression. And in
letting Anakin take the lead. By the second run-through he had dropped out
completely to simply watch and correct, his intuition -- or the Force -
- telling him that he needed to make sure Anakin would be prepared for an
coming battle.
And that he would need to hoard his own energy.
Or, perhaps, he was simply staying too distracted and falling prey to guilt and
paranoia.
"Can we talk, Master?"
"Now that it is just the two of us?" he offered a knowing, but gentle smile.
Even once Qui-Gon finished his shower, he'd no doubt return to his own room and
whatever clothing he could find that might remotely fit him.
By those he had found the night before, Obi-Wan had a feeling twins had once
inhabited this room, standing somewhere between his and Anakin's size, though
more slender or less fit. The pants Qui-Gon had found himself also reflected
the slighter genotype of Erinne humans, but at least they'd been long enough
for the tall master.
Anakin nodded, and offered a shrug that was slightly tinged with embarrassment.
"Do you think you can talk and move?" he smiled, yet asked without any trace of
sarcasm or implication of displeasure. As important as discipline and
preparation was, his relationship with Ani was much more than simply training
and duty. And he never wanted Ani to feel he couldn't come to him with
questions.
Even if they were about things Obi-Wan wasn't really ready to talk about
himself.
Again Anakin nodded, but took the kata down to half speed. Which had its own
difficulties, and Obi-Wan stepped up to work the forms with Anakin. For a few
minutes they moved together down from the higher levels to the more rigid,
simplistic forms and Obi-Wan was content to wait for Anakin to bring up
whatever he needed to say. Or ask.
"You and Master Jinn are going to end up together, aren't you?" Anakin finally
asked during a portion of the kata where he needed keep his chin and eyes down.
Not that Obi-Wan couldn't see his blush anyway.
"Yes, I think we are," Obi-Wan said slowly. "At least for a little while."
"Is it because of the vision or because you like him?"
"I was ... attracted to him well before the vision, Ani."
"But?"
"Not necessarily a but." He shrugged and moved closer to help Anakin lower into
the bend at his waist the teen had a tendency to overcompensate for and dip
below a level plane. "I can't completely separate my feelings now into what was
influenced by the vision and what would have occurred regardless. Just as you
can't completely forget the things you saw. The knowledge has already become
part of our experience and helps to form the future." He then eased Anakin into
the half cartwheel to be performed still in that position, using his arm as the
fulcrum for Anakin to stay in contact with and keep his upper body straight
while he flipped.
"What I can tell you is that we are not doing this because the Force or the
vision told us to, if that is what you're asking," he continued, before
directing Anakin to try the move a couple more times.
"Well, no, I know that," came Anakin's spaced out response. "Or I know that you
never let the Force push you into something without it also being your decision
after you've considered all of the options. But I guess I was wondering if it
did maybe convince you of something you might not have considered on your own."
"It, or you, Anakin?" he prodded gently.
Anakin came up out the bend and out of the kata to finally meet Obi-Wan's gaze.
"I-I guess you know that I've been looking to f-find someone for you."
The stutter and the look of hapless chagrin was absolutely endearing, as was
the concern behind it, and so Obi-Wan refrained from a sarcastic comment or
admonishment to mind his own business that he might first have been inclined to
say. "You have seemed awfully concerned about my well being of late," he said
with the same gentleness he had used to encourage this confession. "But you are
also having some trouble in reconciling what it might mean if you are
successful?"
Another blush and a deepening of his chagrin, making him look so much like the
boy Obi-Wan had first taken as his padawan.
"Such feelings are natural, Anakin." And he tucked his arm around Anakin's
waist and began leading them over toward the bath.
"I felt the same way when my master became involved with Knight Tahl when I was
sixteen. I guess many of the training masters wait until their padawans are at
least supposedly old enough to discuss this and understand the feelings. Or
maybe it happens around this age because of the padawan's own greater
involvement with others outside the training relationship." This second room
was empty and the door to Qui-Gon's room closed, so Obi-Wan didn't feel any
need to curtail their discussion.
"Because of the nature of the relationship between master and padawan, it is
rare to choose to spend too much time with someone your padawan wouldn't like,
but at least from the masters', well, from this master's point of view, I could
never be happy with someone you didn't like. Or who didn't care and have a
place for you in their own heart. It is always easier to find such a person who
at least fully understands the Jedi even if they are not Jedi themselves. Like
our docents, support personnel or liaisons."
Before pushing Anakin into the shower, Obi-Wan brought him over to the long
vanity and began carefully removing the bandages still wrapped around Anakin's
hands. In the few hours of treatment, he expected all but the most serious of
cuts to have healed although it would be another day or more for the burn to be
fully gone. Even longer if they couldn't let the burn breathe uncovered.
"So how do you feel about Master Qui-Gon?"
A third blush, and Anakin tried to turn away, not just his head, but his whole
body. Obi-Wan kept a firm grip on Anakin's hand, however, and tugged gently to
get back the teen's attention.
"Don't be ashamed of your feelings, Anakin. The only concern I may have is your
difficulty in controlling your body's reactions. And that you are feeling
guilty because of them. We have had plenty of discussions about your hormones
and about the frequency in which you are plagued with them. Master Qui-Gon and
I were both once your age and going through the same confusion you are now.
Neither of us have any right to be disturbed by your thoughts or fantasies, and
at least I am flattered to figure occasionally in them."
The hand was well on its way to a full recovery. Now all Obi-Wan had to do was
find a better type of bactacreme, or they would have to let it heal naturally.
"Even though I don't know what I want?" Anakin asked, his words muffled as he
drew off the shirt. "And even if I keep changing my ideas of what I should or
shouldn't do?"
"As long as it doesn't affect our mission or your training, nor lead to any
secrets or darker emotions that you just aren't ready to deal with on your own,
you have my permission to indulge in any sort of fantasy regarding me, my
padawan." Obi-Wan turned on the shower, and then began looking for a few more
dry towels. At the rate they were using them up, they were going to have to
find a way of laundering them soon.
"And if things get too confusing, I will help you -- although that doesn't mean
that I will have sex with you," he added quickly to forestall the teasing that
had begun to twist Anakin's lips before his padawan stepped into the enclosure.
"Nor will I act as your procurer, either with Master Qui-Gon or any other third
party," he continued with a bit more volume and a bit more sternly to be heard
over the pounding spray. "If you wish to approach someone about sex, I will
help you with suggestions on how to go about it -- or how not to offer -- but I
will not make the offer for you. That is one rite of passage you must go
through on your own."
"You really would let me proposition Master Jinn?" the slyness of Anakin's tone
was heard quite easily.
"I would never presume to make such a decision for anyone," Obi-Wan said in
full earnest as he went ahead and opened the door to join Anakin.
The shower was large enough and it wouldn't be the first time they'd shared.
Plus, he hoped it would show Anakin that he wasn't uncomfortable with Anakin's
burgeoning sexuality, even if the teen was himself. Maintaining a sense of
normalcy was probably the best action right now, plus a willingness to let
Anakin make a few mistakes or blunders, but with people that wouldn't affect
the existing relationship. And if, somehow, Qui-Gon did end up becoming a point
of contention between them, well that was a failure in his ability to teach and
reach his padawan that it would be better to discover now than in a situation
where it might not be so easily dealt with.
"Actually, I'm pretty sure Master Jinn has already made his decision," Anakin
said in mock displeasure and deflecting the spray so that it hit Obi-Wan in the
face. "Maybe instead you both should be worrying about me suggesting a
threesome."
Obi-Wan was sure his splutter came both from reacting to Anakin's words and
from having to swallow a face-full of water. By the time he regained his
composure and his breath, Anakin was slipping back out of the shower and into
some impressive shields, though he could sense Anakin's pride and amusement
without any difficulty.
Which only made Obi-Wan worry that Anakin might have been offering a true
warning.
6.
"I've set up some sort of fruit, sweet-bread and juice in the other room once
you're finished drying off," Qui-Gon called out as he re-entered the bath from
Obi-Wan and Anakin's room. "Also, I found a picture that contained our driver,
so I fear this is -- was his house."
Obi-Wan looked up from beneath the towel he was using to dry his hair, and then
draped it around his neck. "It's an awfully big estate for just one person."
"The picture showed a large, extended family," Qui-Gon frowned. "And there is
every indication that it was picked up and held quite frequently. I could sense
a great sorrow surrounding it and, if I had to guess, I would say he lost most
if not all of the others pictured in some tragedy within the last six months to
a year."
He didn't add that it wasn't completely a guess, that as part of his abilities
and training, he could read past histories that might have triggered some great
emotional event by handling certain objects. The Force talent of psychometric
readings was nearly as rare as prescience -- might actually be a related skill
now that Qui-Gon thought about it, and even possibly the same talent manifested
between those more in touch with the Living Force than with its unifying
aspect. The rareness of psychometry had been the major reason he'd become a
field and research archeologist instead of healer though he had started with
roughly the same level of ability in both talents.
"Well, I guess that means it's pretty unlikely we'll be confronted or arrested
for trespassing then," Anakin quipped as he worked on his own hair. "But that
also means we shouldn't count on getting any help out here unless we find a
working comm unit or vehicle, right?" he added more darkly. Then gave a grunt
of frustration as he tried to start on his padawan braid and found out just how
painful his burn still was.
"May I?" Qui-Gon asked before Obi-Wan had a chance to notice his padawan's
distress. He needed to make sure Anakin was still comfortable with him,
especially given the teen's careening emotions upon awakening.
At his request, Obi-Wan did look up and over toward the two of them, a laugh
being surprised out of him from whatever Anakin's expression was showing.
"Sure, Master," Anakin said, his tone holding even more laughter than Obi-Wan
had offered.
Obviously Qui-Gon had missed something during his preparation of breakfast, and
just as obviously master and padawan had cleared up at least part of Anakin's
confusion.
Leaving them all to discuss the night's other events and ramifications.
"We'll look for some form of communications after breakfast," Obi-Wan
recommended.
"And see if we can find some other clothing?" Anakin said most hopefully as he
pulled on the shirt he'd been wearing to sleep in.
Obi-Wan nodded. "We might as well avail ourselves of necessary supplies. We can
leave an inventory and credits to replace them should we not be correct in our
thinking that there won't be anyone coming back to the house now. And we should
find some way of letting our contact know about the driver's death."
"And that we were attacked?" Qui-Gon asked carefully, but not mentioning which
attack. He was pretty sure Obi-Wan had not yet mentioned to Anakin about the
Sith's activities, and didn't want to do so first.
"I would not want to discourage our contact from thinking of our delay and the
driver's death as coming from the storm," came the slow answer. "Until we can
figure out who was aware of our arrival, we don't have any idea of who might
have ordered the attack."
"You don't think it was the ghost?" Anakin's voice cracked in surprise.
"I do think it was our ghost, but even it had to have had some way of finding
out the timing of our arrival."
"Or he has some way of monitoring at least the governmental channels if not all
signals going outbound," Qui-Gon suggested. "Which I suppose means we won't be
trying to contact the Temple from here, either?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "Someone had or forced the opportunity to override the
planetary and local security grids. I'll not chance our ship's systems to some
sort of virus or parasite by hooking or routing any local system into the Udan
Orr. We'll update the Council only once we've gotten back to the ship directly,
and even then we'll have to operate with the expectation that such a
transmission will be intercepted."
Qui-Gon found himself blinking somewhat stupidly in response to that.
Had he really been shut away for so long that he could no longer recognize the
potential for danger? But no, even during his active days in the field, Qui-Gon
had had little need to develop such a strong sense of defense.
And felt his heart break all the more for what Obi-Wan and his padawan had gone
through in such a short time as they had.
"But that would mean having to walk all day in the storm," Anakin protested in
disgust.
"As would heading toward the capitol and our contact," Obi-Wan quirked his lips
in response to the whine. "I didn't note any other towns along the route our
driver had programmed in, but it is possible we might run across someone else
before traversing the full sixty or so kilometers. But it is either finding a
comm unit or walking. Unless you'd rather we take the chance that the local
security and comm grid is no longer compromised?"
"No!" Anakin said quickly, loudly, and slipped out through the door into the
bedroom.
Qui-Gon followed Obi-Wan and was brought up just short of running into the
other when the knight pulled up himself before walking into Anakin.
"Ah, Masters, where did those holes and all of that debris come from?"
Qui-Gon found his gaze flicking to the damage he and Obi-Wan had inflicted the
night before. The placement of the two holes left no doubt as to what had been
the focus; the bed Anakin had slept in was almost perfectly centered between
them.
Although Qui-Gon suspected Obi-Wan would have preferred to deal with Anakin's
sharp 'no' and his rather obvious running away, Obi-Wan just brushed a hand to
his padawan's shoulder as he continued to pass by before beginning to look
through the drawers and armoires for clothing. "Last night our ghost tried ...
something while you slept and Qui-Gon and I needed to do that to reach you."
"What did the ghost do?" came in a whisper.
"Nothing, Anakin," Obi-Wan quickly offered in reassurance. "Nothing other than
try to keep us away from you."
So Obi-Wan wasn't going to explain about the mental attack that had followed.
Or that the ghost was their Sith.
Qui-Gon wasn't sure if he agreed with that decision, and looking over to Anakin
as the teen dragged himself to help find something suitable to wear, Qui-Gon
wasn't sure glossing over might not just make things worse.
"But why would a ghost be interested in me?" Anakin pushed, and this time Qui-
Gon caught the slight emphasis he was placing on the word ghost.
And the shimmer of fear that accompanied the emphasis.
Obi-Wan had noticed too, for he stopped his explorations and brought Anakin
back to where they both could sit down on the nearest bed. "Because the ghost
is a Sith, Ani," was said very gently.
******
Obi-Wan could feel as the trembling began to overtake Anakin. He kept the sigh
that wanted to break out to himself and turned to face his padawan. "Ani, what
exactly are you afraid of? We've talked about ghosts, and you know about Siths.
Does this have something to do with why you don't want to go back to the road?"
The teen blushed and loosened his hands from Obi-Wan's grip though he then
scrubbed them against his face instead of trying to really pull away. "No, or I
don't think so," he said slowly. "Things just don't feel very safe right now,"
he finally blurted out, his frustration and embarrassment obvious, along with
the effort he was making to better define his apprehension. And get himself
back under control.
Exchanging a quick glance with Qui-Gon that he could only hope the other master
understood, Obi-Wan focused his awareness inward to see if he could pick up
anything similar to what was disquieting Anakin.
His padawan's prescience was even more sporadic and unreliable than his own,
right now no more common or accurate than any other Jedi who had the
inclination. But neither Obi-Wan or Master Yoda had any doubt that eventually
Anakin would master this, as he was slowly and not so slowly expanding his
other skills. No doubt he would even surpass Obi-Wan in this some day, as he'd
begun to show so much potential in certain other areas.
There were some of the oldest masters who were even muttering about Anakin
possibly being the Chosen One --
The flash of vision when it came wasn't about whether they should wait where
they were, or go out either to the capitol or back to their ship. Once more
Obi-Wan was caught up in what he'd been shown in hyperspace, was once again
hearing words about the Chosen One and bringing balance to the Force, first in
Qui-Gon's voice, then, of all people, the years ago discharged Senator from
Naboo, Jordan Palpatine.
Pain, anger, despair, all accompanied the images and words, but despite that,
Obi-Wan didn't break away from what he was being exposed to. This wasn't just a
rehash brought on by his own unease, and so should have greater meaning than
just his dwelling on something distressing.
More unfolded within his mind.
Images of he and Anakin fighting together, fighting each other, then of Ani
fighting others, first against a young Jedi, then alongside that same young
Jedi and against another Sith. Images of Anakin turned. Then Anakin redeemed.
And the visions started up again, first the same, but then with greater and
greater variations. In all of these Anakin still turned, became a creature of
death and destruction. But in no others did Anakin return in the end to the
Light. He became a Sith, some times the only Sith, sometimes training his own
apprentices, including that tow-headed young Jedi Obi-Wan had noted at the
start of the sequence.
That was the worst, that pairing, a Future which resulted in a millennia of
Dark over all reaches of the known Republic and beyond, until a cataclysm of
war and hatred, of genocide and planetary destruction plunged the too few
surviving worlds and species into utter chaos. Through it all Obi-Wan could
still sense the Force -- Light and Dark -- but weakened with so much destroyed
and because so very few could sense it. Weakened until it seemed to fade out
altogether.
It was the horror of this last possibility that broke Obi-Wan out of the
vision. He met his padawan and Qui-Gon's concerned glances with a wan smile,
but before he could offer further reassurances, he needed to rush back into the
bath, barely making it to the sink in time.
"Master? Master!"
Focusing on Anakin's voice and Qui-Gon's hands, Obi-Wan got himself under
control. Anakin had come in only so far as the door and it was Qui-Gon who
offered him the cool glass of water. By the wildness in Anakin's eyes, his
padawan had caught at least part of his visions through their training link,
and now that bond held only guilt.
From both sides.
"Ani -- Padawan --" But Obi-Wan needed to cough and clear his throat before he
could form any words of reassurance, and in the instant he needed take his eyes
off of Anakin to again accept the glass, the teen took off, disappearing in a
blur of Force-enhanced speed.
"Ani, no!" he called out, tried to follow, only to stumble as he pushed himself
away from the counter he'd been leaning on. Qui-Gon caught him up, saying
nothing, and helped him back into the bedroom and the nearer bed, before
nodding to Obi-Wan's silent entreaty and taking off after his padawan.
******
Anakin ran, paying no attention to direction or path, moving too fast to even
note his surroundings other than to avoid the odd furnishing, and to force or
Force open a succession of doors. He moved utterly by instinct, caught up in
his emotions and the Force, aware of neither the Dark nor the Light as he drove
himself deeper into the labyrinth of secret passageways and hidden corridors.
As he drove himself -- or something drew him.
Part Three
1.
For the first few minutes, Qui-Gon had little difficulty following Anakin; the
very air shrieked of the teen's emotions and distress. But as he moved farther
away from Obi-Wan and into the portions of the house more abandoned, the trail
became obscured. Visibility lessened as power connections had apparently been
turned off in the areas the inhabitants no longer used. Heavy curtains covered
windows that might have led to the overcast outside, but soon Qui-Gon moved
into the greater interior, where no form of light penetrated.
When he bashed his knee into a side table pushed away from the stone wall, Qui-
Gon stopped to gather his breath and his wits.
While they had no evidence the Sith had anything to do with Obi-Wan's most
recent visions, still they had managed to work in the Sith's favor; the three
of them were now separated. And Anakin -- no himself too, he discovered to his
acute embarrassment, were without their weapons. Anakin wasn't even wearing
anything more than a damp shirt.
At least Qui-Gon had put on his normal belt upon dressing this morning, and he
pulled the small light from one of its pouches. Now he could see the dust as
well as smell it, and the fresh footprints Anakin was leaving. Indeed, clouds
of disturbed, stale air hung before him. Unfortunately the footprints were
still spread out and blurred, implying Anakin was still running and likely
without any conscious consideration.
A profound quiet surrounded Qui-Gon, his breath and booted footsteps the only
sounds he could hear so far from any other avenues of life, including the storm
out beyond the walls. Turning the next corner, however, was like returning to
one of the tombs and crypts he had surveyed years past, or that one temple on
Tegist.
Great tapestries hung from floor to ceiling and covered the full length of a
long, wide corridor. So too there was carpeting, thick and not particularly
faded from what he could tell with his feeble light, although dust covered
everything. For a moment he stood transfixed, wishing desperately that he had
brought along a lantern or that some form of overhead lighting could be turned
on. He had a feeling much of Erinne's history lay before him along this
gallery, not only the scenes being depicted able to tell him stories, but so
would a study of the threads and stitching, of the colors chosen and the
techniques employed to keep the images rich and ageless. The placement, even
the shadows that could only be doors or further corridors leading away seemed
to be incorporated into part of the history, a great darkness or secret or --
With a shake Qui-Gon came back to himself, appalled that he'd let personal
interests distract him from the mission at hand. He moved back to where he had
come into this timeless room and began a search for clues as to where Anakin
might have departed from it. Unfortunately, though dusty, he could no longer
make out any telltale footprints, nor were there streaming cobwebs torn asunder
any longer to frame the youth's passage. He had five directions to pick from,
including stairs leading up and another set going down.
He found himself doubting Anakin would have chosen either staircase, even
though the one heading downward lay in the most direct path. Which left him to
examine the other three corridors, each of them leading obliquely away from the
direction they'd been heading. Carpeting again extended as far as he could see,
and so no footprints. Indeed, no nothing to give him any indication anyone else
had been along this path for years upon years.
Acknowledging the uselessness of any conventional wisdom, Qui-Gon next reached
out with the Force, looking again to pick up on the disturbance Anakin's
emotions might have left behind. He had a moment's pause, but knew that he was
not susceptible to visions such as those the other two had experienced. The
only images that ever came to his mind were those of imprinted by history, or
the occasional flash of fancy that lay in his own subconscious. But he found
nothing, not even a remnant of the stories that were being told within the
tapestries. Something else was present in the room, something that absorbed
psychic emanations.
At that Qui-Gon's stomach gave a twist. But further cautious exploration didn't
give him the feeling that it was from machinations of the Sith, at least that
it wasn't something recently done or of immediate danger to Anakin or himself.
He supposed some of the same odd energy that kept the tapestries as if they'd
been finished yesterday might also incorporate available life energies. Or that
the stones they covered had some sort of dampening crystal embedded within. It
wasn't as if he couldn't feel the Force here, just that the residual energies
of Anakin's passing that he'd sensed in the back of his mind up until this
point were now muted.
He supposed he could go back, take another passageway and see if he could find
a connecting corridor that intersected with Anakin's path further along. Or go
all the way back, return to Obi-Wan and see if the youth's master had means by
which to find his padawan -- If that was the case, the knight should be able to
do so even from his current position and no more time would be wasted, allowing
Anakin to get even further lost from them. All Qui-Gon needed be able to do is
form the connection that the Force had implied or encouraged to exist ...
*Q-qui-Gon?*
Qui-Gon gave a sigh of relief; the connection between them was there.
He didn't stop to think what it meant to have the same type of link Obi-Wan and
Anakin had only just progressed to the first afternoon they had met, only that
it now meant he could be back in pursuit of Anakin before something worse
happened to the teen.
Hopefully.
*I have no idea where I am at the moment, nor where Anakin is, I'm afraid,*
Qui-Gon sent quickly. *And I've lost his trail. I was hoping you could find his
direction through your link --* Oh, for that to work Obi-Wan would also have to
be able to find Qui-Gon's current position for some form of triangulation, or
he could still spend hours trying to get to Anakin.
*Give me a moment,* came back from Obi-Wan.
A sudden blankness filled a part of Qui-Gon's mind. He could still somewhat
sense their connection, but now as if once removed and he had only faint echoes
of what Obi-Wan was doing. He also got the impression that Obi-Wan was moving,
was coming in his direction and found himself needing to interrupt Obi-Wan's
efforts.
*Neither Anakin or I am armed,* he admitted with full embarrassment.
*I know,* came a slightly amused sense of exasperation. *I'll give Anakin an
out, considering he isn't even dressed, but you had already made one foray
downstairs before this -- *
*The most danger I ever find myself in on my missions is dirt in my food,
assuming I even remember to eat,* Qui-Gon offered in rejoinder, willing to
encourage this bantering as it was displacing the tightness of Obi-Wan's
thoughts if not fully easing them. Were he on the outside observing the
interaction, no doubt Qui-Gon would have considered their frivolity
inappropriate, but somehow the lightness of the moment made the seriousness of
the situation more manageable.
*You should also find a light,* he thought to warn although the Force only knew
how far Obi-Wan had already come away from the meager remnants of their
equipment.
*Of course,* came back with a touch of sarcasm --or maybe irony. And Qui-Gon
was pretty sure Obi-Wan wasn't commenting on the obviousness of Qui-Gon's
statement, just the inevitability of it.
The blankness returned to the location in his mind that felt of Obi-Wan.
Deciding to return to Obi-Wan instead of continuing after Anakin, Qui-Gon
departed the tapestry gallery, figuring to mitigate whatever time he could to
get them back on the padawan's trail. And quicker than expected, he saw the
glow from another light source. When he would have put his hand on his saber
hilt -- again reminding himself that he wasn't wearing it and flushing -- he
focused instead on his and Obi-Wan's burgeoning connection and was able to
convince himself that it was the knight.
Obviously Obi-Wan had started after the two of them, and long before Qui-Gon
had thought to try to make contact.
"Qui-Gon?"
This time the Jedi Master heard the words out loud as well as mentally, and he
thumbed back on his own light to use as a signal. In another minute he could
see that Obi-Wan had only taken the time to pull on a pair of pants and wrap
around his own belt; like his padawan he was bootless and still wore the shirt
he had slept in. He held the light in his off hand, held his saber unlit in the
other, and carried two clipped to his belt. Qui-Gon wasn't sure which sight
pleased him more, but simply kept his sigh of relief internal and then stepped
forward to clasp his hand on the other's shoulder to further strengthen their
connection and offered a concerned smile.
"Are you okay?"
Obi-Wan shrugged and held his arms away so that Qui-Gon might retrieve his own
saber hilt without the knight needing to disarm or give up the light that was
only now enough to make out more than five or so feet ahead.
For a moment Qui-Gon debated keeping the weapon in hand, but decided to clip it
to his own belt. He rather imagined there'd be at least one door or two that
would need opening before they found Anakin, and figured the extra light was
more valuable than his extra blade.
"He's still moving pretty much without any thought other than panic."
Qui-Gon could still feel as well as hear the pain in that admission, but when
he thought to ease out of their mental connection, Obi-Wan snapped his head
around and Qui-Gon could see a bit of something that could have been mirrored
panic.
"At least his Force use is also minimal and entirely unconscious."
Neither of them needed to mention the thought that immediately came to mind
with that statement. From their first days as initiates, Jedi were warned of
the dangers of letting emotions overtake them, of calling upon the Force in
such a stage. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to
suffering. And the Dark was always only a misstep away; pushing away in fear,
pushing back in anger, pushing out in pain. Were someone of Anakin's innate
talent to consciously accept the deceptive rush of power offered by the
Darkside, his fall -- his fall could easily result in something much like what
Qui-Gon had glimpsed in sharing Obi-Wan's first visions.
"He's scared, but he's not foolish," Qui-Gon said automatically. "We'll find
him."
But before Anakin found the Dark? Or was found by the Sith ghost?
******
"Which way?" Qui-Gon asked as Obi-Wan began to scout out each of the directions
the teen could have gone.
"Here," which was the stairs leading down. For a moment Obi-Wan was torn
between going up instead of continuing to follow Anakin, hoping to intercept
his padawan quicker. But there was already something off about this house, and
not necessarily having anything to do with their mission and the ghost. From
what little he recalled in his dash to catch up to Qui-Gon, there had been
several aborted passageways, as if the house had been built or rebuilt over
time with certain plans and construction abandoned before completion. For all
he knew, using the near stairs to go up would never connect with Anakin's
current, finally stationary position.
"He's stopped," Obi-Wan breathed in relief. But his relief was short-lived, as
he still was getting no sense of conscious awareness from the teen. Anakin's
mind was still awhirl with confusion and fear, now overlaid with weariness. It
was possible his padawan had only stopped to regain his breath, and would be up
and running again in just a few moments --
Obi-Wan let out an explosive breath and started down the stairs, relying more
on his Force-sense than the bobbing light to keep him from misstepping. He
could hear Qui-Gon following him, appreciated that the other master wasn't
questioning his lead, or questioning him at all right now.
He had no idea whether he was saving or endangering the mission right now, was
still too aware of his failures so far in falling to the distractions poised
both by his visions and by Qui-Gon's presence. Initially he'd thought it more
the Force than his own interest that had led him to invite the other Jedi
along, but now, trailing after the all too clear evidence of his misjudgment,
he had to wonder about his motivations.
"Damn, he's moving again," he called back, wishing for just an ounce of the
calm patience he could feel behind him. "At least he's no longer running in a
blind panic." But Obi-Wan wasn't sure that wasn't the state Anakin was now in
despite his words, only that he was no longer clearly sensing the overwhelming
fear and guilt. Their link was ... off now, something no stronger than it had
been in the first days of their pairing.
Obi-Wan didn't think something was actively blocking the two of them, nothing
perhaps except their own unconscious. Anakin's guilt, his own stress and anger
-- but no, he was actually sensing Qui-Gon's emotions with little difficulty.
With, in fact, a remarkable amount of clarity, given how new and set upon their
relationship was. He was getting concern for and on his own behalf, plus a
healthy trepidation for their surroundings and their circumstances.
"I haven't thanked you yet for your care of Anakin." It was somehow easier to
do this in the relative darkness of the steep stairwell, knowing his flush
wouldn't be noticed. "And not just in this morning's incident."
"I -- he -- you're welcome," came the answer, along with a brush of fingers
against the back of Obi-Wan's neck. "You both are easy to care for."
"I assume you mean that metaphysically and not based on current circumstances,"
Obi-Wan said, his blush growing. He'd made things anything but easy between
them from almost the beginning. "Between both of our mini breakdowns, and --"
"Between your obvious dedication to each other and the mission, you mean," the
other interrupted with a not unwelcome bite of a tease. " I knew the job would
be dangerous when I took it."
"Yeah, but you were only expecting a ghost, or maybe a Sith --"
Obi-Wan stopped suddenly, biting back a cry as he was enveloped in a coldness
that rivaled his dunking the evening before, only this time it wasn't external,
wasn't rain or ice that he could find a source of warmth against. This was a
coldness he'd felt maybe once before, in a power station on the planet of
Naboo. When another master/padawan link was severed.
"Anakin!"
2.
As if in a dream Anakin followed the siren call. He was no more mindful of the
sudden lash of rain engulfing his body than he was the crunch and cut of glass
and other debris underneath his bare soles. He took no time to look at the
distinctive architectural of the solar/library that the last door he had opened
sent him into, had no notion this massive room was in the exact center of the
house, or that its ceiling rose a full four and a half stories above him and
was made out of thick glass panes set in a metallic patchwork frame save for
two jagged holes that nature and neglect had brought about. His eyes saw only
the circular staircase that spiraled around a surprisingly thin center pole,
while his mind saw only the pulse of a shadowed something that now sought to
welcome him. Even when his first steps onto the metal staircase sent the Force
fleeing from him, the echoes of two cries of denial and despair starting in his
mind then snuffing out as he might end a candle's flame, he heard only a hum of
power and felt only the peace of utter stillness.
******
Obi-Wan shrugged off Qui-Gon's helping hands, not because he didn't appreciate
the physical and mental stability his companion was offering, but because he
couldn't stand to feel another's touch where it should have been his padawan's.
Even Qui-Gon's. And immediately he steadied himself, began to run, calling on
the Force for speed, and for hope to find Anakin despite knowing the teen was
gone.
Surely Ani wasn't dead, couldn't be dead, for there would be something still
felt within the Force, a sense of familiarity, a speck of individuality before
the spirit was subsumed by the greater whole of the Light. It had been so with
Mace, with Garen and even Bruck, one last caress of love that even now would
occasionally wrap around him when despair and the guilt of surviving without
his closest friends threatened to overcome his willingness to continue on his
path. As long as he had the Force, a Jedi was never truly alone.
But such sentiment offered him no more comfort than the axiom there is no
death, there is the Force. It might not be a final death on an ultimate scale,
but it could still mean that his padawan was lost to him until he was ready to
release himself into the next stage of life. Which might not be all that too
far away should he fail to get himself under control and rush blindly into
whatever had already taken Anakin.
"The ghost is nearby," came from Qui-Gon somewhere behind him, and Obi-Wan
nodded in acknowledgement of the warning.
Their ghost, who was also a Sith, and who had already shown he had dark designs
on Anakin. Maybe Anakin wasn't dead, for why would something that had already
worked so hard to take his padawan away, now kill the teen when he could
achieve his goal without immediate interference? And if not dead, then the only
thing that could have so neatly taken Anakin from his mind would be a Force
barrier, the type of obstacle he'd been expecting last night's to have been but
was not.
A barrier that was a thing of technology and, therefore, a thing that could be
turned off. Or destroyed.
Just like the Sith.
Obi-Wan finally stopped for a moment and leaned against the wall, bending over
to catch his breath and let Qui-Gon catch up to him. The visions, the tension,
even his inability to sleep well since the end of his last mission was also
catching up to him, as evidenced by the ease in which he'd allowed himself to
believe the worst instead of simply taking the time to think. In this he had
been as bad as Anakin, letting his fears take over and running from the truth
instead of facing it.
And once again he was faced with needing to thank Qui-Gon. Whether having him
along had been only his own ideas and desires, at the moment he could only be
glad for the other's steady presence and give thanks to the Force regardless of
which of them should get the credit for it.
"We're approaching the direct center of the house," was all that Qui-Gon said
as he pulled up alongside Obi-Wan. But his expression, then the solid,
comforting hand that turned into firm circles across his back gave away much of
what the other was feeling.
"Do you think it significant?" No longer needing to take deep, shuddering
breaths, Obi-Wan still waited a moment before straightening back up, now loathe
to lose the physical contact between them.
"In many cultures, places of power are set in the center of other pockets of
life. I am unaware of the Erinnians having such a background, but we have
already found examples of oddities that might be bettered explained in the
guise of religion or superstition instead of pragmatic thought. Although the
route may have seemed direct to you in simply following Anakin, the boy went
out of his way to avoid an easier path before arriving to this point."
"Assuming he is at this point." And Obi-Wan gestured to the massive set of
wooden doors before them. "I can actually sense nothing of Anakin at all at
this point. It is as if he no longer exists to the Force."
To that Qui-Gon simply nodded as if Obi-Wan were only confirming conclusions
the other Jedi had already made. Which was no doubt the case, given Obi-Wan's
rash flight to the point, and the threads of the bond that at least still
existed between the two of them. Undoubtedly Obi-Wan had been leaking many
thoughts through his less than sterling shields.
"The ghost is beyond," came Qui-Gon's own explanation.
And Obi-Wan had to wonder if by refusing to think of it as a Sith, the other
would be better able to fight against it; each of them operating under
conditions most familiar to them. In truth, Obi-Wan had absolutely no idea of
how to fight a ghost. From what he knew, they existed only until they fulfilled
the task that was binding them. But he had a very strong feeling they did not
want this ghost to finish his task --
Ghost or Sith, it was a threat and the reason of his mission. He'd find some
way of releasing it, or at least thwarting it for now and figure out the rest
of what needed to be done once he'd reclaimed Anakin.
Obi-Wan moved directly up between the two doors and directed a Force probe, not
to open them, but to test whether doing so would subject them to immediate
attack. He purposely shut his mind to the seething Darkness that had to be the
Sith, and to the void that should have been Anakin. One step at a time. One
thing at a time.
"Ready?"
Qui-Gon nodded, coming up behind where Anakin' should have been. But Obi-Wan
was abruptly reminded of the visions; of one of the reasons they came up with
for the visions: We don't let Master Jinn ever fight a Sith. Lightly said at
the time, but all too easily he could recall the incident that had prompted
such a warning, and he pushed both of the doors open without waiting further.
Qui-Gon didn't seemed to mind although he had to have noticed Obi-Wan's
stiffening. "Unlike the others you've fought in the past, this Sith will only
be able to fight on the mental plane," was offered plainly at Obi-Wan's ear -
- in his mind -- breaking through other thoughts and worries that might have
distracted him. *It is his great strength, but also his biggest weakness.*
Obi-Wan acknowledged the warning and continued forward, but then stopped almost
immediately. The underwater effect their lights and that from Erinne's pale sun
produced despite the rain of the storm beating against the glass dome over
their head was stunning, but it was Anakin's presence that caught and held his
attention. Looking unharmed, but wild-eyed, his Padawan was sitting almost
three quarters of the way up a spiral staircase that spanned over half of the
room and upward to just shy of five stories. The teen was clutching at the
outer railing and the center pole but didn't seem to even notice Obi-Wan's
arrival.
Yet Anakin was not alone in the room, and in the next instance something of
smoke or shadow was rushing toward Obi-Wan. Its appearance was incorporeal, but
its presence was not. Dark hatred beat against Obi-Wan's mind even as it gave
movement to attack or overrun. It might not be able to physically harm him, but
Obi-Wan also realized suddenly that he had little with which to disrupt the
creature in turn. Raising his saber barely slowed the creature down; no doubt
the creature's flinch was caused by memory instead of true discomfort. And then
Obi-Wan felt a discomfort all his own as the ghost passed directly through him.
He could hear a scream in his head, the Sith -- or maybe his own -- but he
refused to be pulled into the mental planescape where the other would have the
advantage. Even the unremitting cold exuding from the ghost could be ignored,
for he had already felt the disconnection the other sought to create when
Anakin had -- had done whatever he had to be absent in his mind.
"No!" he cried out when the ghost recovered its equilibrium quicker than he did
and began to turn toward Qui-Gon. Better that only one of them try to deal with
this, and perhaps the other could reach Anakin -- save Anakin --
In their second mingling of life forces, Obi-Wan had no more doubt that they
were both screaming within his mind. But that had to mean that his own state of
corporeality was just as disruptive to the Sith's system as its ghostly one was
to his. They could hurt each other this way. Not destroy one another, perhaps,
but certainly one of them would need to give into the pain first, and Obi-Wan
was determined that it wasn't going to be him.
"Master!" and "Obi-Wan?" brought home that Obi-Wan wasn't the only one being
affected by his decision, however. At least Anakin was once more conscious to
his surroundings, which meant he might only have to keep the Sith distracted
for a few minutes longer before the other two could escape.
Although he needed turn his back to his padawan and Qui-Gon in order to keep an
eye on the Sith who was warily backing away, he could hear the harsh argument
starting up behind him. And almost gave up any advantage by starting to turn to
reinforce Qui-Gon's instructions with his own orders. Anakin was refusing to
come down, shrilly warning Qui-Gon from coming up after him, but once more the
Sith was reaching for him, this time seeming unwilling to pass through until he
could force Obi-Wan's consciousness to either give in or be drawn out --
"Master Jinn, no!" his padawan was screaming. "The staircase is somehow cut off
from the Force --"
Oh, so that's what had come between them, Obi-Wan managed to understand even as
he felt his body start to fail under the Sith's assault. That was his supposed
Force barrier despite the open framework, a barrier disrupting the mental
connection he had with his padawan, and --
Even as his brain finished all of the conclusions, his body was moving so that
he might catch the Sith unaware or at least unable to disengage in time. Obi-
Wan was too far around from the start of the staircase where Qui-Gon stood in
discussion with Anakin, but he could reach a part of it, with a little
judicious help from the Force. The only problem was that once he'd made the
leap and had his handhold, once he began the back flip that would take him up
over the railing, the very field that would hopefully disincorporate the Sith
ghost would also steal the Force away.
This time the scream came only from the Sith, as Obi-Wan felt too much
satisfaction in feeling the other's presence ripped from his body and mind. And
then he was too busy trying to position himself, although there was another
scream as his left side crashed along its full length down across the edges of
too many steps. The scream had been Anakin's, as he lay too stunned to even
draw in a breath or give more than a moan. A scream and pounding footsteps, and
then another scream but this one wasn't human, wasn't even Sith.
"Anakin, Obi-Wan can you jump?"
So the footsteps were not Qui-Gon's. But there was too much movement beneath
his body to be just Anakin bounding down the stairs --
"Not without my master," he heard Anakin call out.
Which had Obi-Wan lifting his head, trying to lift his aching, shaking body.
And even as he fell back and just held on, the shaking didn't end, grew worse,
as did the screaming --
"Anakin, jump to me now so we can try and lift your master free!"
Not just shaking now, but full lurching, and Obi-Wan couldn't rise and stay
standing even if his body would have allowed him to.
Oh, the staircase was falling, collapsing.
And now that he looked closely, he could see streaks of discoloration and rust
beneath his cheek, was reminded again of the rents in the overhead dome and how
long this structure might have been exposed to the savage elements of Erinne's
climate. Once upon a time this staircase probably could have held the entire
family, but now just his weight in addition to Anakin's was bringing it down.
At least Qui-Gon was seeing to Anakin's safety; without the Force his own drop
from about twelve feet was going to be dangerous, and his padawan had been
almost three and a half stories up --
"Obi-Wan!"
Obi-Wan had a moment's regret that he couldn't find the strength to at least
answer the concern he could hear in Qui-Gon or his padawan's voice. But he was
now falling, and managing somehow to twist and kick and force himself to slid
between two of the supports as the design welded between them fell away from
his efforts. This wasn't to the outside of the structure, however, and even as
the first hints of the Force returned to him as whatever had been the driving
mechanism of the barrier also broke, his attempts to try and use the Force were
just as futile in stopping his fall, as were his frantic attempts to grab at
the metal and push it away.
He bounced once more against one of the sweeping curves, just as he would have
tucked himself into trying to roll out of his landing. And ended instead on his
back. Somehow he had managed to clear much of the massive structure, would only
be caught amidst a couple turns of crumpled metal and even most of that served
to surround him rather than landing directly on him. Climbing out might be hard
--
Oh, he'd forgotten about the spears of metal that had been either decorative
additions or structural pieces supporting the railing. That his position and
too tenuous grasp on the Force made it difficult to track them, and in the end
he couldn't avoid them all. While he managed to push himself just enough to
keep it from impaling him through the heart, it came down instead just beneath
his shoulder, through his body entirely and into the floor.
"Master, no!"
******
It had taken a few seconds for Qui-Gon to make sure Anakin was recovering from
his three story leap without using the Force, though he knew the need to
abandon Anakin's master would be causing the teen greater distress. But then
they were both climbing back on their feet, trying to ignore the skreal of
metal and Obi-Wan's silence, eager to help but not sure which way to approach
and avoid the sheer tonnage of what was collapsing.
The staircase was breaking apart in sections, no doubt along the weld points
that had strung it together, although longer pieces of railings twisted and
torqued as if alive. The center pole too was coming apart, the pull from too
many weights and too many directions almost shattering it. Shrapnel from it,
from the rail posts and the vegetation pattern affixed to the outside of those
posts became a much more deadly rain than that which fell from several points
in the broken overhead glass, and for a moment Qui-Gon feared the rending of
that center pole might pull down the entire dome as its top point was affixed
within the odd framework that was holding the glass.
But that became a lesser worry, no longer the immediate one.
"Master, no!"
Qui-Gon had been unable to use the Force through the field Obi-Wan had been
wholly contained within; his aid for Anakin had only been once the teen had
propelled himself over the railing and into clear space on his own. Even now
with the structure breaking up and somehow the Force barrier destroyed, there
were so many pieces to direct away, not only from Obi-Wan but from Anakin who
had plunged inward without regard to his own safety in an attempt to reach his
master. He saw the impalement that affixed Obi-Wan to the floor, felt it as if
it had pierced his own chest, but couldn't spare more than a moment's despair
as that also meant Obi-Wan could no longer roll or move to avoid even the
smallest of pieces and Qui-Gon would need to find a way to direct everything
else away.
Taking inspiration from what had surrounded Anakin just the night before,
instead of trying to create a wall of Force with which to catch and push away
the pieces, Qui-Gon instead blanketed the knight with a layer of Force
contoured only around his body. He and Anakin would have to pull away the
objects he'd managed to keep from injuring Obi-Wan further, but that would be -
-
"Anakin?"
To Qui-Gon's utter amazement and sudden dread, he turned when he realized
Anakin was no longer in front of him, charging to Obi-Wan's rescue. Instead he
had stooped down to better look at a glint that had caught his eye, at
something that had been inside the center pole and was now clamoring for his
attention. The sick feeling in Qui-Gon's stomach intensified, for he could feel
a subtle pull on the back of his brain himself, thought he recognized at least
the intent if not the actual object. He looked once more toward Obi-Wan, to the
all too quickly spreading pool of blood beneath the knight, and knew he had to
be right if Anakin could so put that sight out of his mind. Praying for
forgiveness, he turned away from Obi-Wan's helplessness to deal first with
Anakin's.
"Anakin?" He approached the padawan carefully, slowly, not sure if his presence
would even register to the other, especially once the teen had tipped the two
or so foot length column of metal that had been part of the center pole and let
a cut crystal almost the size of Anakin's fist come tumbling out to land on the
teen's palm. Again Qui-Gon stomach clenched, but he strove to keep his fears
from his expression or his tone, trying to give Anakin absolutely no reason to
become defensive.
"Anakin, may I see that?"
As expected, the teen clutched it convulsively against his chest but he finally
lifted his gaze from it to meet Qui-Gon's. And both of them flinched at another
loud crash of metal on top of metal sounding off to their side.
"You don't have to hand it to me, I would just like you to hold it up so I can
see how pretty it is in the light."
Suspicion warred with pride, the need to show the object off conflicting with
his fears of having it taken from him. Which was, of course, what Qui-Gon
intended to do, but only once he could be assured it could not attract him with
the same pull. He crouched down, well beyond the range of the extension of both
their arms, and sat back on his haunches as if nothing else mattered. And
without the pull of his voice and intent to counteract the gem's pull, Anakin
dropped his attention back to it.
Seeing how intently the teen peered into it, Qui-Gon had to thank the Force and
all the blessed Jedi of antiquity that Anakin had no clue as to what he was
holding. Or what it could do.
And that Obi-Wan was not aware of what his padawan had gotten into.
For a moment longer Qui-Gon let Anakin's attention stay on the crystal. He used
the time to reach carefully for the tube that the crystal had been hidden
within, using the Force to move it slowly along the ground and so as not to
give Anakin's focus something else to turn on. As it reached his fingertips,
Qui-Gon found it to be what he hoped though he was still surprised despite what
logic had led him to conclude.
At some time in the past, there had been another Jedi here -- or maybe it had
been a Sith -- but someone smart enough to recognize the danger of what they
possessed even if they couldn't figure a way to finish it off. The pole had
been the source of the Force barrier, and somehow coupled with the overall
structure, it had extended the null field to encompass the entire staircase.
But now, with the structure in pieces, it was only inside the pieces of the
center pole that still held the material of the barrier.
Which meant all he needed to do was convince Anakin to stuff it back inside the
tube and use his saber to slag both ends of it.
Which Anakin was not going to allow willingly.
"Anakin, what's happened to Obi-Wan?" he asked warily, needing to see just how
tight of a hold the crystal had on Anakin's mind.
Again Anakin looked up from his perusal, but made no attempt to answer Qui-
Gon's question.
"Padawan! Where is your Master?"
A twitch at that, even a little whimper, and for a second Qui-Gon could see
something pass behind Anakin's eyes. So he knew, on some level that something
was wrong.
"Padawan Skywalker, isn't that your master over there?"
Qui-Gon almost sobbed out loud when Anakin turned his head, even if it was for
no longer than it took to exhale. It was enough, just as now with the pole in
this hand, so was his reach.
While he knew he could probably knock the crystal away, Qui-Gon feared it
already had too strong a hold on Anakin that just breaking the contact between
them wouldn't work. And he really didn't want to consider taking the padawan
one on one in some sort of fight. Too much was at stake.
Which meant he had to forget the crystal for a moment. Qui-Gon began to take
aim and as Anakin was whipping his attention back around to the threat being
presented, he jabbed hard enough to knock the teen unconscious. But, Qui-Gon
hoped, not hard enough to do serious damage. He'd take even that, however, if
it was the only way to end the immediate danger.
Anakin went down with a quickness and unfinished expression that might have
been showing awareness and relief, but there was no time to puzzle out that, no
time to even check on Anakin's injury yet. Not until Qui-Gon had the damned
crystal contained back within the Force-nulled tube. Using it and another
large, flat piece of the structure, he managed with the Force to tip the gem
back into the tube which he then lifted upright so that the crystal fell back
to rest on whatever had been holding it in place in the first place.
With Anakin already beginning to shake off the hit, Qui-Gon quickly shoved the
tube horizontally and drew out his saber. Thumbing it on, again he gave thanks,
this time to Obi-Wan for the foresight to have remembered to bring the weapon
with him; in next to no time he had melted the two ends of the tube, taking the
sight, awareness and, hopefully, the memory of the crystal away from Anakin.
Additionally, in a manner of sense, taking the gem away from the Force. One
crisis averted, only two more to go.
Fully awakened now, Anakin's choked off cry thankfully came as a plea in Qui-
Gon's direction instead of an invective. "Master Jinn, please!"
Qui-Gon began pulling off his shirt to rip bandage strips. The teen didn't
notice him drop one of the sleeves over the tube, as Anakin was frantically
trying to move through the metal and Force barriers keeping him from his
master.
"Hold a minute, Anakin, let me help," Qui-Gon offered with a calmness he wasn't
really feeling. His Force shield had held throughout all of the settling from
the structure's collapse, but even the metal and dust that had fallen to
collect there wasn't enough to completely obscure the pallor of Obi-Wan's skin,
or the distressingly large puddle of blood spreading out beneath the knight.
They might be too late.
"Anakin, you will need to raise up all of the debris while I maneuver your
master free," was his only other comment, however.
"I want to be the one helping my master," came the immediate protest.
Qui-Gon stopped to take a deep breath. "Okay. Just remember that when you force
out the shrapnel from where it is imbedded in the floor, you don't also pull it
free from Obi-Wan. Not yet, not until we can get pressure against the wound and
control the bleeding."
Anakin paled and shot him a very uneasy glance as he came up to kneel beside
the teen. "Maybe we should do it as you first suggested, then."
"If you're sure." Qui-Gon wanted to scream that they didn't have time to be
arguing, but he also knew Obi-Wan would not appreciate walking up to a
traumatized padawan. Not that Anakin didn't have too traumas to deal with
already.
The teen didn't even nod. He just turned back to the task at hand and began
gathering the Force. Fortunately his time spent within the null field did not
seem to be affecting him now; the speed and strength of what he was gathering
was remarkable and had Qui-Gon concluding he hadn't first wanted to switch
duties because he was afraid he couldn't handle moving such a mass.
Anakin began lifting even more than was probably necessary, but it made more
sense when, with a great exhalation and physical shove of his arms to mimic his
mental efforts, the padawan sent the entire structure tumbling and flying back
to the opposite side of the room. Qui-Gon had only just worked Obi-Wan free
from his impalement to the floor before Anakin was sliding forward to kneel at
his master's side. He helped Qui-Gon lower the knight back to where his head
rested on Anakin's lap, unmindful of the scratch he got himself from the end of
the metal sticking out of Obi-Wan, or the blood he was both kneeling in that
was now coating the top of his bare leg.
Qui-Gon moved to a position at Obi-Wan's hips, using the knight's own body to
hold the makeshift bandages from getting any more contaminated from dust or
blood. He directed Anakin to hold his hands out, put two squares of cloth
folded over several times in each. "As I work the metal out, you are going to
need to apply these as pressure bandages to both sides of the wound as quickly
as you can. I know it's going to be hurting him, but you have to press very
firmly. I'll hold him steady to keep him from thrashing around too much and put
him under again if he starts to waken."
He wasn't sure if the caution and speed would really be necessary; although the
knight had lost a lot of blood, he didn't really think the wound was arterial.
But on the other hand, he wasn't going to risk Obi-Wan's life by being wrong.
First biting his lip, Anakin nodded. "I'm ready." And almost between one blink
and the next, it was done. At least Qui-Gon could use the Force to work the
metal free, was able to sense where it had grated along bone and not let it get
caught up or do more damage. He and Anakin both simply winced and sweated as
Obi-Wan cried out and tried to arch away before both of them got busy seeing to
their respective tasks. Qui-Gon wasn't really sure if his touch was needed to
push Obi-Wan back unconscious, but he did so automatically, just as Anakin
began automatically pouring Force energy into Obi-Wan through his hands pressed
tightly to either side of the knight's shoulder.
And like in his effort to lift the structure, the amount of Force Anakin was
channeling was staggering. Qui-Gon found himself having to fight to keep Obi-
Wan under with so much raw energy being thrust into the knight. He also found
himself unable to break Anakin's concentration, and so began working instead to
direct the waves of healing Anakin was offering, figuring it was better to let
Anakin exhaust himself than try to fight them both.
3.
For long minutes Anakin's world consisted only of stopping the flow of blood
coming from his master's body. But as he began to tire, his attention began to
waver, and other things started to intrude on his consciousness. The sour-sweet
smell of so much blood, the sticky clamminess surrounding his legs, too harsh
breathing -- his own, his master's, someone else's. Finally drawing his focus
back from his reddened fingers, the teen also began to dampen his connection
with the Force, retaining only enough to bolster his own flagging body. He
looked up, looked around, only now aware that he and Master Obi-Wan were no
longer in their borrowed bedroom, that Master Jinn was almost as slumped over
his master as he was himself, but that the other master was also moving, was
awake and aware, wherein his own master was not.
"What happened?" His voice cracked as he shivered, a shiver that had little to
do with the spray of rain that pelted his body from a particularly ferocious
gust of wind from outside even as he was only wearing a shirt. Why was he only
partially dressed? What had happened and where were they? This room was huge
but full of debris and open to the elements. A room he had no conscious memory
of arriving in.
Just as he had no memory of how his master had gotten hurt.
At least the look Master Jinn offered him was one almost of as much exhaustion
as Anakin felt, not fear or some form of adult blankness to hide the
seriousness of their situation. The master's eyes darkened and narrowed, but
neither did the other waste time asking after Anakin's memories.
"We've been battling the Sith ghost."
Anakin simply nodded and tried not to let his fear show. He supposed his loss
of memory might have come from an injury he'd sustained himself that he hadn't
thought to look for in his concern for his master, but no doubt he could lay it
against the Sith instead. The Sith ghost.
"Is it gone?"
"Only temporarily," came the weary answer to the question Anakin had really
wanted to ask.
He nodded again, his lips thinning. "Are you okay?"
This time he got a partial smile, and Anakin let out a breath he didn't really
realize he'd been holding. Okay, obviously something -- several somethings -
- had gone very wrong, but they were all alive, and the ghost was out of their
hair for at least the next few minutes, and with Master Jinn's help they could
get his master back to their rooms and get him better --
"How are you feeling, Padawan?"
Anakin flinched a little from the intensity of the other master's gaze, but
when he performed an internal check he found only that he was very tired, and
had a headache. Which somehow might explain his memory loss, or was it that the
lost time that had caused his headache?
He was also stiff, and when he tried to shift a little and flex his legs
without upsetting his master, he figured the three of them had been here in
this position for longer than he'd expected.
"I'm okay, I think," was all he said, however. Then," can we move my master?"
Master Jinn leaned forward and offered another smile. "I rather think that if
we don't, he's going to try to move himself in a few moments."
Anakin had a moment's start to realize he had not felt that through any sort of
link himself, but was more glad to see his master awakening than to worry right
now about what might be wrong with their link. No doubt it had something to do
with his memory loss and, frankly, he didn't want to dwell on himself at the
moment.
As he was helping Master Jinn shift his master, however, Anakin became fully
aware of what he was wearing -- what he wasn't wearing. Like a full set of
clothes and boots. Or his lightsaber. Or that Master Jinn was fully dressed,
while his master was missing his boots. His master was also carrying Anakin's
lightsaber in addition to his own.
How far back did the attack and his memory loss go?
Already disturbed by those thoughts, his stomach lurched as he stood up and saw
just how coated his legs were with someone's blood. It took all of his
concentration to keep from getting ill once he figured out where it all had
come from. He gratefully shifted his focus from the blood that still seeped
through the bandages as his master opened his eyes.
"Master?"
For a moment those eyes went unfocused, but then his master was turning his
head Anakin's direction in full awareness. "Ani?"
It had always amazed Anakin that his master used his title, full name and
childhood nickname rather indiscriminately, but always with the right
significance at the right time. To be called Ani was to know he was being seen
as more than even a beloved student, and he melted for a moment into the
comfort that was being offered, even if it was he who was supposed to be
helping his master.
"Walk with help or be carried?" he asked in relief, for a moment forgetting
that it wasn't just the two of them, and that there might be another looking to
find his own bit of comfort in seeing his master awake.
But Master Jinn's throat clearing was obvious, as was the look of relief taking
over his master's face as he turned away and held out his right hand to the
other master. For a moment Anakin actually contemplated letting go, even before
Master Jinn was close enough to offer his own support, hurt that his master
would let someone else intrude on their moment. He beat down that spike of
jealousy, however, locking it away with all of the other emotions just waiting
for him to relax his control. Let the other help his master, even carry him so
that all that height and bulk might come to some use since it was obvious the
man hadn't even bothered to draw his weapon in whatever fight had almost killed
his master. The other could operate as a pack animal, leaving Anakin to guide
them back to a place of safety, to defend against any new threat and --
"Ani, are you alright?"
At the last possible second Anakin managed to turn his snarl into a forced
smile before turning to look back over his shoulder at the pair now staring at
him. He nodded tightly and turned back around, moving quickly forward to get
out of the room the suddenly seemed claustrophobic to him even though it could
hold two or three of the room he was heading back toward.
How dare he call him Ani? That was his master's name for him! Of course, it was
actually worse that his master had allowed it, but if he thought about it, he
wasn't surprised. Obi-Wan probably hadn't even noticed, as he was so caught up
in the other. Or had noticed and just didn't care, was willing to share out his
boy just like any other master --
"Padawan, slow down!"
While Anakin wanted to do nothing more than run on ahead, he fell into a slower
step, not because he felt any need to obey the order, but because he didn't yet
think it was time to let the other know what he had figured out. No, he'd pick
his time, pick his spot, and show them both that he couldn't just be pushed
around or cast aside because Obi-Wan had found someone new. He'd -- he'd --
He suddenly stumbled, and felt both his master and Master Jinn's hands reach
out to steady him. He was half-surprised that when he was gently pulled around,
his master was standing on his own two feet although leaning heavily against
the other master. And he frowned to think of how fast he had been going, of how
he must have tasked his master to try and keep up, and offered a grin of
embarrassment and chagrin.
"S-sorry, Master," he stuttered and ducked his head. But he looked up again
almost immediately, and saw the smile that warred with concern in his master's
eyes. "I guess I am just anxious to get back to our rooms."
"You're threatening not only to leave us behind," his master chastised in a
soft voice, "but also the light, and if you're not careful you may end up
taking a wrong turn."
Another flush spread across Anakin's face, probably across his entire body. He
didn't want to admit that he already had no idea of where they were or where he
was going. On the other hand, he must have been leading okay since they'd only
suggested he slow down instead of redirecting him.
No doubt the Force ...
"I apologize masters, and will take care to keep my focus better to the here
and now."
Although his master's eyes narrowed at that, he didn't seem to have any more
argument or instruction. He simply nodded sharply and pressed back more into
Master Jinn's support. Although Anakin couldn't really tell in the dim glow of
the two masters' hand lights, he didn't think his master's wounds were still
bleeding, but obviously they were bothering him. A lot. And Anakin leaned
forward to touch the forehead lightly damped with sweat, only to have his
master pull away.
"No, Anakin, you've already weakened yourself. No more."
Anger bloomed at that, along with its twin of jealousy to see that his master
preferred to take comfort from the old man instead of his padawan. He scowled,
and started to turn, but once again the other was reaching out to him and
Anakin found himself hiding his emotions.
"Actually, Padawan, if you want to help, will you trade places with me?" Master
Jinn asked, much to Anakin's surprise.
"Why -- I mean sure!" And Anakin quickly shouldered the other master out of the
way. The height difference between Anakin and his master wasn't as great as it
had been between the other two, so he could actually drape his master's arm
over his shoulders. But on the other hand, in not having the extra height, he
also didn't have the extra strength, and so his master would need to manage
more of his of weight unless Anakin was to use the Force. Or carry his master.
He started to shift his grip to do exactly that, only to have both masters tell
him no. His master's growl he understood perfectly to be a measure of
embarrassment and frustration, but he couldn't quite keep a growl of his own
out of his voice when he turned on Master Jinn for his explanation.
"Padawan, I need to go back to where we last encountered to Sith to check
something," as if the other had any more right to call him padawan than he did
Ani. "While I am pretty sure the Sith is gone for some time, if I am wrong, you
might need to help defend your master, which would be pretty difficult if you
are carrying him --"
"I can walk just fine," came his master's protest at the same time.
Anakin felt his own frustration flare again. He was getting tired of being
treated like a child who didn't know how to care for himself, much less his
master. "I know my duty," he said rather sharply. Then, "We'll be just fine,"
in clear dismissal.
"Anakin Skywalker!"
His master's voice was all growl instead of support and Anakin took a couple of
steps forward in his agitation, not really paying attention that he was pulling
his master along until he felt the clutch of Force stopping him. Wounded by yet
another betrayal, he knew he was shaking, but he tried to stay stationary and
let the chastisement wash over him. His master was hurt and, therefore, cranky.
He wouldn't really be mad --
"I'm sorry, master, Master Jinn," and maybe the apology would get his master to
shut up, although Anakin well knew how it hurt to find out you weren't as
important to someone as you thought you were. "I just don't think we should be
standing around. If Master Jinn has something he thinks is more important, then
he should go do that and let me get us back to our rooms so I can take care of
you."
At least his master found out about the other now, instead of after they'd gone
and done ... things.
He ignored the look the old master shot his way, pretty much ignored his
master's protests too as he half-carried, half-bullied them away. Just getting
them beyond the next door, Anakin now knew where they were, saw that they were
only a turn away from the corridor that housed their room. He started to speed
up, practically lifting his master with his hand around Obi-Wan's waist. His
master growled and sputtered but then they were back into the bedroom, though
Anakin didn't stop until he brought them into the bath.
"Anakin -- Padawan, just stop!" came the command and a grip on his arm when he
sat his master down on the edge of the empty tub, knelt down beside him and
began to rip away the already torn and partially removed shirt.
"I need to see the extent of your injuries," Anakin muttered back, easily
breaking the grip, then needing to steady his master from the effort.
"If you just hold still and stop fussing -- I swear, you are worse than the
initiates in the crèche!"
Unable to even lift one arm, his master needed to use his other to keep from
falling over and so would only be able to use words to try and keep Anakin from
his task. Well, that or the Force, but when Anakin felt the energy being
directed toward him again, he met it with a collection of his own and pushed
back. Which did topple his master over this time, but at least not into the
tub, and this was better anyway because now Anakin could tug his master's pants
off.
The position and surprise making his job easier or not, however, Anakin was
getting tired of his master's protesting and ungratefulness. "Just stop
yourself, why don't you," he yelled out. "I'm just trying to do my duty here,
Master!" Which shut the other up at last.
Or maybe it was because Anakin had grabbed hold up high on his master's leg and
splayed his other hand across his master's chest to get him to stop moving. He
stared in fascination as his master became absolutely still.
"What's the matter, Master?" he whispered and leaned over to better see the
contrast between the darkness of his hand against the paler skin beneath -
- pale save the two dusky circles, a faint trail of blood and an even fainter
trail of ginger-colored hair. They'd both spent too much time lately on a ship
or on Coruscant, and so had lost much of the tans they'd earned on their last
time off on Alderaan. So the difference had to be from the blood loss or maybe
it was just emotion?
"Anakin -- A-ani --"
Oh, yes, so much emotion.
"I like it when you call me Ani, Master."
Anakin needed to drag his master's legs away from the edge of the tub so he
could shift and straddle him better. The body beneath him flinched, but that
must have been because he'd gotten too close to one of the bruises that came
with his master's earlier impact against the stairs. "Say my name again, Mast -
- Obi-Wan."
"Anakin, t-this isn't right. You are --"
Anakin scowled and let more of his weight rest against the other, his anger
overcoming even his momentary pleasure when his clothed cock brushed against
his master's naked one, or in the way his master's lips trembled against the
hand Anakin raised to silence him.
"You are supposed to call me Ani!" and he let his voice and volume drop to
convey his displeasure, let his lower body grind them together just to the edge
of pain. "You called me Ani this morning, Master. Remember? When you were
expecting everything to stay the same for us? But that wasn't really what you
were wanting, wasn't why you came into my shower, was it?"
His master's eyes were so wide now, so dark, just as Anakin knew his own were.
Such passion there to purposely flame his desire --
"I can be everything you need, Master Obi. I can give you what you've been
missing. You were just waiting for me, weren't you? For me to grow up, to grow
aware."
Emotion was beating at him through their bond, but Anakin didn't need it to
tell him what they were feeling. He could see, could feel how his master
trembled beneath him, could feel his own body reacting to their closeness. He'd
been using the Force to hold them both in place with the tub so close by,
fearing his own excitement might cause him to get carried away, knowing another
fall would do his master no good. And now he layered the Force hold even
deeper, using it to press against his master's lips when he needed to move his
hand away so he could begin to pull off his own clothes.
He had dreamed of this for so long --
"Padawan Skywalker, look to the Force!"
He'd been in the Order less than half the number of years than any one else his
age, but like all of the rest of them, there were tones and phrases Anakin had
been just as conditioned to respond to no matter what situation he found
himself in. A master's full command mode would have pulled his concentration,
no matter what words had been spoken, but the command to look to the Force had
only one meaning, only one possible response.
And in the instant he did just that, Anakin could see the eddies of Darkness
that surrounded him, tendrils of lust and domination pulsing to connect him to
his master's shock and fear. Anakin choked and pushed away, physically,
mentally, convulsing first in the absolute horror of what he'd almost done,
then again in greater horror to hear the whimpers of pain and denial from his
master that he'd been suppressing all along, as those sounds now triggered his
orgasm. He collapsed in shame and denial, absolutely mortified and
uncomprehending of how to begin to deal with so many transgressions.
"Padawan Skywalker, seek to cleanse yourself physically and mentally, then come
back and help me with your master."
The voice was still a whip crack and Anakin found himself obeying. He uncurled
himself and moved to scrub at the tears that were streaking down his face, but
his hands were already damp and so was his shirt and --
With another choked off cry, Anakin began to pull at this shirt, at his
underwear, tearing at the cloth and at his skin, but that was such a little
hurt compared to the sea of pain and despair he was drowning in, unable to
breathe, barely able to move. A sound that might have been his whispered name
came from his master, but Anakin couldn't look, not there, nor at the thunder
that would be on Master Jinn's face, as the other was coming into the room and
Anakin was fleeing it -- at least as far as disappearing into the shower and
away from the condemnation in their eyes.
He had raped his master.
Oh, it didn't matter that he hadn't really ... exactly. The intent had been
there, of that he couldn't possibly be mistaken. He had touched his master, had
straddled him, ground their bodies together.
And he'd ejaculated.
Which was coming off in the scalding water he'd dialed up from the spray, along
with the blood he'd knelt in the other room and had smeared along his master's
legs, but both liquids had painted themselves far deeper than just the surface
of his skin and Anakin knew he would never stop feeling it.
He had raped his master.
And he'd used the Force to help him.
Why hadn't his master resisted? He was older, stronger, certainly had more
experience -- especially in fighting back while injured! But he had just lain
there, barely struggling. And his eyes had been so wide, though what Anakin had
interpreted as a matching lust had actually been fear, something he had never
really seen in his master before.
Something he wasn't really sure how he was supposed to feel about it -
- although the disgust because in just reliving his master's expression and
muted sounds in his mind's eye was making him stiffen again -- was probably a
good start.
He let loose a yell of rage and despair, flipping the water from one extreme to
the other and not letting his body pull away from the punishment he was
inflicting upon it.
He had raped his master.
And, Force help him, he wanted to do it again.
******
Qui-Gon had to fight to control the bile that arose from not only the visual of
the scene he had walked in on, but also the miasma of Dark emotions that hung
like an oily residue in the Force and the very air before him. The commands to
Anakin had come unbidden, a fallback on training he supposed, when facing the
Dark. And his words had served their purpose, breaking the moment and getting
Anakin away from his master and the teen's own out of control emotions. The
Dark Side was still so close, however, not only hovering around Anakin and Obi-
Wan, but just beyond Qui-Gon's own fingertips, willing, waiting to be reached
for and embraced. Waiting to take control.
Even if there would be no danger in giving into his anger and the Darkness,
however, Qui-Gon knew he shouldn't really lay the blame on Anakin for calling
it forth. He had been the one to leave the two of them together, misjudging and
relying on Anakin's adherence to responsibilities and his love for his master,
instead of realizing that very love might have already been corrupted by the
attacks launched against the teen by both Sith and the crystal. He'd seen and
ignored Anakin's jealousy without also recognizing that another's anger might
be feeding and encouraging it.
Including his own. Until now he had refused to see the depth of Anakin's
confusion or the possibility that the teen could have really become a threat,
become a rival, but he had been at least frustrated to have to contend with the
padawan's feelings as well as Obi-Wan's concern for those feelings. And that
made Qui-Gon angry too, seeing how ill-prepared the knight had been to handle
his padawan's emotions. There was a damn class for it, for the Force's sake!
Classes for both master and padawan in how to deal with a padawan's burgeoning
sexuality.
He supposed that could have accounted for Obi-Wan providing little resistance
to Anakin's most recent actions; the knight's own form of guilt in contributing
to Anakin's confusion and a willingness to be punished. But instead of staying
angry about that, Qui-Gon let himself feel sadness. How lonely must the two of
them be in order for this type of misunderstanding come about to be taken
advantage of by the Sith?
But neither anger nor sadness would be productive right now, nor guilt. Not
with the Darkness so close and waiting for any one of them to give in. It was
time to let all feelings pass into the Force and simply deal with the physical
ramifications of what had happened, and let a little time and distance pass
before working on the emotional ones.
Circumstances and the Force seemed to have fated his role to be non-judgmental
at the moment, strong and supportive for both master and padawan. And since it
had been his own desire to become more involved with the pair, he couldn't
really turn away just because problems were now arising.
Qui-Gon crossed the room and knelt down next to Obi-Wan. He wasn't particularly
surprised to see that Obi-Wan hadn't lapsed back into unconsciousness despite
the fresh blood that had started to well in the struggle against Anakin, or the
new sets of ligature marks from Anakin's fingers alongside the bands and odd
bruising from the stairwell. But the cloudiness in Obi-Wan's eyes and his
listless acknowledgement of Qui-Gon's presence wasn't much better. That Obi-Wan
might be falling into shock was no surprise, and that was what Qui-Gon chose to
deal with first, even if he could only treat the physical aspects of it.
The blanket he pulled out from his own bedroom with the Force would serve
against the chilling effects of shock as well as cover Obi-Wan's nakedness, and
Qui-Gon tried to ignore the initial flinch that was the response to his
actions. He couldn't figure out where he might touch Obi-Wan and not hurt him,
wasn't sure if any touching would actually be appreciated or even accepted, but
to somehow use just the Force, he thought, would be worse.
"Obi-Wan?" He really needed not to have to force Obi-Wan into accepting his
help. Maybe he didn't need active cooperation, but merely no opposition.
"I failed him. Just like in the visions."
For a moment Qui-Gon felt another burst of anger at the tone of flat despair,
but knew his own emotional reactions were still subject to being outwardly
influenced, as were the knight's. They needed to get out of this room and away
from the cloud of Darkness.
"You haven't failed anyone, Obi-Wan. Nor has your padawan turned and won't,
unless your guilt or apathy pushes him there." It came out sterner than he
would have hoped, but the sharpness caught Obi-Wan's attention better than
anything else he was doing, and Qui-Gon was heartened to see something other
than apathy. Refusing to allow Obi-Wan to wallow in anger any more than in
guilt, however, Qui-Gon didn't let the knight extricate himself from his aid,
although he did refrain from actually carrying him away from the room. Instead
he just raised him up and then wrapped the blanket around more securely before
they began to slowly walk.
"So, I should blame it all on the Sith?" But Obi-Wan wasn't grasping for a way
out, and Qui-Gon couldn't let him off completely as the Sith wouldn't have been
so successful had he not had confusion and resentment to work with in the first
place.
"Not entirely, but yes," and Qui-Gon hoped Obi-Wan would take more than just
his arm as offered support. "There are things at work here beyond your or
Anakin's control. Beyond even the Sith's."
Obi-Wan looked surprised at that, stumbling, but that could have just been
because he had so little energy to give to anything other than simply staying
on his feet. Exhaustion, emotional and physical was pouring off the knight more
rapidly than the water from the shower Anakin was still using to hide behind,
but Qui-Gon wasn't sure a more involved offer of assistance would be accepted.
Sharing energy, like sharing emotions or thoughts was an intimacy that Qui-Gon
just wasn't sure would be well received right now.
So he offered knowledge over ignorance instead, that it might offer serenity to
overcome suffering. The retreat to formality and training had worked to help
the padawan; Qui-Gon could only hope it would also offer some of the same
comfort to the master. As might dressing again as Jedi instead of trying to
find some more clothes to borrow.
"I believe I have discovered what has kept our Sith ghost here on Erinne," he
began after he helped the knight over to sit on the edge of the closest bed.
Both Anakin and Obi-Wan's Jedi uniform had been neatly draped over a rack near
the fireplace the night before, and Qui-Gon quickly checked the progress of
their drying out. All of the tunics and both pairs of leggings were dry enough
to put back on, although boots and Anakin's robe was still a lost cause for too
little time.
Force above, had it been just over fifteen hours since this whole nightmare had
begun with their arrival?
He let Obi-Wan help him sort out whose were which. "I'll take Anakin his and
bring back something to clean you off with, before we get you into your own."
Qui-Gon was distressed to see a flash of fear come and go behind Obi-Wan's eyes
before they dropped down to the clothes in Obi-Wan's lap. He wasn't sure if the
fear was from him speaking of Anakin, or for the thought of needing to be
touched at least somewhat intimately, only knowing that he had caused it.
He started from the room, but couldn't just leave it unremarked. "Obi-Wan, I --
"
"Bring back his lightsaber."
Qui-Gon froze. Obi-Wan still wasn't looking at him, but he didn't need to see
the knight's expression to know just how difficult such a request had been to
make. Instantly he was back before him, kneeling and taking up Obi-Wan's too
cold hands. "Everything is going to be alright," he promised even though he
knew he was offering more than he could deliver.
But as he said it, Qui-Gon actually believed it, because not doing so was
unthinkable. He could have faith, in his greater knowledge, in the Force, and
in the inherent strength of the two who were suddenly so lost. "We need only
trust in the Force --"
"In the Force you can trust, when betrays you do all other things," the laugh
was brittle, but there was still a bit of real humor there. Or at least
surprise. "You sound like Master Yoda."
"Do you listen to Master Yoda?"
At that Obi-Wan lifted his head. "Every Jedi listens to Master Yoda."
"Then believe him if you cannot believe me," Qui-Gon smiled as he carefully
moved his hands from Obi-Wan's to touch a palm against Obi-Wan's cheek. "There
is a purpose, a meaning and an ending to all things. Even Sith ghosts and
confused padawans and masters."
4.
After Anakin had found enough self-possession to leave the shower, Qui-Gon got
the three of them into his own room from the night before. It was as large as
the other bedroom, but contained only one set of furnishings and a lot more
empty space. It also did not contain the visible reminder of the Sith's
presence by having two holes in one of the walls. Obi-Wan and Anakin were both
still looking a little pale, a little uncomfortable.
Yet Qui-Gon could tell that the two of them had found some comfort in dressing
again as Jedi, perhaps even more than from the hot tea he had managed to find
the supplies for and the remnants of which now steeped in a pot in the
fireplace behind them.
Both master and padawan had managed to reach out to one another, but nothing
had been said beyond words of concern, and then the two had just stood there.
So, unsure of how the idea of all three of them sharing the bed even for
sitting would go over, Qui-Gon instead pulled off the linens, also gathering up
those from the other two beds beyond the bath, plus all the pillows. Spreading
the bed clothing over the floor, Qui-Gon then sat down amidst them and waited
to see what would happen.
Anakin immediately began to move to a position pretty much on the opposite end,
but stopped when Obi-Wan shook his head and gestured for them to take seats
near Qui-Gon. Only for the knight to then head to the floor a little quicker
than he intended when his knees buckled. Both Qui-Gon and Anakin moved
immediately to assist him and by the time they were all sorted, Obi-Wan lay
resting on his right side with his head on Qui-Gon's chest but facing away, and
Anakin had been convinced to stay close enough to use Obi-Wan's calf as a
pillow.
All three seeking and willing to grant some form of comfort, but unable to yet
express all of the reasons why. At least the silence was relaxing into
something less fraught with the potential for disaster.
"Master, you should be resting in bed. Your blood loss --"
"We cannot assume the Sith will be resting --"
"You mean you didn't kill it?" Anakin's complexion turned even chalkier.
It took Qui-Gon a moment to remember that Anakin had shown a general discomfort
with the idea of just confronting a ghost in the first place when this mission
had just started, that the teen had come into the situation with fear already
in his heart. How much more frightening to now know that the ghost was also a
Sith, and a Sith who was eagerly trying to exert control in addition to the
business that had drawn it here? To be discovering the Sith who had already
partially succeeded more than once, could be coming back to try again?
Obi-Wan lifted his hand very carefully to brush across the top of Anakin's
head.
Qui-Gon pressed his lips into a frown but said nothing. The comfort being
offered was more important than the fact that they had needed use all of the
bactacreme they'd brought with them for Obi-Wan's wounds as the knight had
refused to allow any of the creme mixed with the narcotic to be used on him. It
hadn't been enough, however, and neither it nor the energy Anakin had expended
again had done much more than start the impalement healing; in puncturing
through Obi-Wan's body completely, even though it had missed bone, the metal
had severed muscle tissue and nerves. Obi-Wan would need much more extensive
treatment to fully repair it. Not to mention his other injuries.
The resting that Anakin was urging would help, but, unfortunately, Obi-Wan was
more right than even he knew about the Sith's inevitable return.
Qui-Gon cleared his throat. "I think I can explain why the Sith ghost is here
on Erinne. There was something else in that old library other than just a
staircase with a Force-null field surrounding it."
Obi-Wan's weight came up off of him as the knight lifted himself up enough to
twist his head to look at him. So did Anakin, the teen seeming surprised to be
reminded that the Sith had a purpose here other than attempting to destroy the
three of them by whatever means possible.
But Qui-Gon had already made vague mention of this to Obi-Wan and so his
comment was solely about the incongruity of the item itself. "What use would a
ghost have for something corporeal that he couldn't even touch?"
"A regular ghost, nothing. A Sith ghost, though?" Qui-Gon propped himself up on
his elbows that he might better be able to look at the other two. Obi-Wan was
still unconsciously touching his padawan, trying to get Anakin relaxing back
down even if the touch alone was making Anakin tense.
"So what is it?"
Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan go quiet against him even as his own breath caught in
hearing the edge in Anakin's voice. Like his earlier exposure to the Sith,
Anakin didn't seem to remember that he'd already been involved with the
crystal. Or maybe it was just part of the enchantment around the crystal
itself, as it was more than obvious by Anakin resisting his master's comforting
that the teen couldn't forget the last part of the encounter.
Couldn't forget, and wouldn't talk about it.
Despite his intent to keep everything impersonal, it was Obi-Wan's turn to be
gently pushed back to lie down again as Qui-Gon also used their connection
through his touch to cast his senses through the Force. Mind searches were not
remotely his specialty, but he and Obi-Wan did have some form of bond and, of
course, so did the other two. Qui-Gon was certain he would have sensed the
Sith's actual presence in the room, but he also needed to feel confident that
there was not even a trace of influence left in either of the other two. On the
off chance the Sith didn't know what type of crystal had been found, Qui-Gon
wasn't about to give it the knowledge on how to use it.
Or give Anakin the chance to get his hands on it again, for the boy's own
protection.
Crystals had been used throughout the ages by both the Sith and the Jedi,
crystals like those in their lightsabers, as well as those for memory or
communication storage, and some for more esoteric purposes such as power
enhancers. And some even for soul storage, or so the histories had it.
Oh how Qui-Gon wished this could be something even as horrific as an attempt by
the Sith to permanently possess another.
"Qui-Gon?"
Obi-Wan's voice, although still too quiet for Qui-Gon's comfort, readily
expressed the knight's concern and awareness that there was something more
going on.
"It's called a M'krakken crystal, and is useable only by very strong Force
sensitives."
Like Anakin. Possibly Qui-Gon could use it himself. So, too, could Obi-Wan, and
that thought was actually even more frightening than the Sith using it.
Up until now, Qui-Gon had assumed the report of what it could do was false.
That instead of actually being able to alter reality, it simply had the power
to convince the person who used it, and any who then came in contact with it
when activated, that reality had changed. Something like a very elaborate mind
trap. And that alone was deadly enough with a promise of mental enslavement or
entombment with the mind's body withering and dying. A family could be
subjugated, a town, perhaps even a whole planet with enough power behind the
wish.
But now Qui-Gon could begin to see that the theories might have been operating
under too narrow a mindset. His field of study wasn't considered very appealing
or appropriate for those who worked more in tune within the patterns of the
Unifying Force and, to the best of his memory, all who had made a study of the
M'krakken crystal had looked at it only through the Living Force.
Qui-Gon certainly had, because he had never really understood beyond an
intellectual understanding that the Unifying aspect was patterns, while his
understanding of the Force was about connections; the big picture versus the
details, the past and future versus the moment. But Obi-Wan had showed him the
possibilities of multiple pasts and infinite futures. And he had finally been
made to understand that all of time and space could coexist in one single point
within the Force beyond time and space. To finally understand that should the
Sith have the power to use the crystal while connected to that point, might he
not also be able to reach for a new potentiality and change that moment and
future?
Such as to recreate the universe where the Sith had supremacy.
But he tried to keep all of that from his face, especially when neither of the
other two showed any recognition from his naming of the crystal. Again he found
himself coaxing Obi-Wan to stop straining to look at him, to relax back down
and maybe turn as he brought up a couple of the pillows to cushion Obi-Wan's
arm and shoulder. Anakin adjusted his own position, in essence switching
positions but not location with his master, with him now on his side and Obi-
Wan resting on his back.
"The crystal is a thing of the ancient past, to the best of my knowledge it is
the only one like this created."
"Sith created or Jedi?"
So Obi-Wan knew at least enough about Force crystals to know that both of the
Orders used them.
"Sith."
Obi-Wan tensed against him, understanding there were more dangers than just the
Sith using the crystal. The inherent differences between Light and Dark
practitioners made each other's artifacts dangerous to use. Sith, however, also
generally went out of their way to add wards to specifically harm any Jedi who
might come in contact with their things. Even if Anakin had not been ultimately
trapped within the crystal's power, further exposure would have kept him too
long away from his master. And the knowledge that Obi-Wan had succumbed to his
injuries because of Anakin's inattentiveness would have destroyed the teen.
Unfortunately, the seeds may have already laid; Obi-Wan seemed to realize
something had happened with the crystal while he'd been unconscious. And Anakin
would eventually have to be told about his exposure, so the potential of what
could have happened could also create a schism just as wide as Anakin's attempt
at brutal seduction.
Qui-Gon found himself wetting his lips and wishing he had some sort of facial
hair to hide the nervous tic he could feel beginning to pulse in his jaw. While
it wasn't hard -- exactly -- to be the strong one at the moment, to exude calm
and serenity, and offer wisdom and knowledge, he still found himself also
wishing that his own fascination with history and artifacts had left him just
as ignorant of the M'Krakken crystal as were the other two.
Had he been another type of Jedi, no doubt he could be better at dealing with
the disconnection between master and padawan, helping them both come to terms
with it and getting the three of them reunited in purpose and spirit so as to
better deal with the battles to come.
Yet had he, for instance, been the warrior/diplomat of Obi-Wan's vision, he
would never have had the knowledge that had apprised him of the crystal's
danger, and had given him a chance to intervene before Anakin had been fully
corrupted. And now he could also hope that if he kept worrying at it in the
back of his brain, he could also come up with at least the barest hint of an
idea of how to stop everything from being destroyed.
"So how do we destroy the Sith's crystal?"
Qui-Gon almost found himself slipping back down flat in his surprise at
Anakin's words. While only the night before he'd had embarrassing evidence of
Obi-Wan's ability to turn his focus back to a mission to the exclusion of
everything else, he hadn't expected such a dedication to duty in someone so
young as Anakin. He'd at least been expecting curiosity over what the crystal
could actually do.
Or was the question just a distraction, just one more example of Anakin's
reluctance to have the conversation shift to what also needed to be addressed?
"I'm not sure that it can," Qui-Gon admitted with reluctance. Getting away with
not having to talk about what the crystal actually did -- at least so far -- he
didn't want to further the conversation about it by admitting things he didn't
know. A bit of ego perhaps, but in this, in his knowledge and in his current
ability to help the other two maintain their focus on the issues of the moment
instead of wallowing in the past or fretting about their future, he had begun
to find his place in the mission.
"It has always only been spoken of as lost or hidden away, never about being
undone." But even if he lost their confidence by admitting his own ignorance,
it would be better than having them rely on and make plans around a lie just so
they might feel better.
"So, do you have it now, Master Qui-Gon?" Again Qui-Gon was thrown by Anakin's
change of emphasis, and by the disturbing edge to the teen's tone.
And again Obi-Wan was moving, this time pulling himself into a sitting position
and dragging Anakin up with him. A moment passed before he exchanged a glance
with Qui-Gon over Anakin's head, a lot more than fatigue in his eyes, but he
also gave a tight smile that Qui-Gon took to mean the knight had done some of
his own checking for evidence of the Sith.
And found nothing more dangerous than a teen's denial and defensive curiosity.
"I do," he began slowly.
"Can I see it?"
"I don't think that would be a good idea, Anaki -- A-ani."
At Obi-Wan's verbal stutter, an undercurrent of emotion spiked in both master
and padawan. As Qui-Gon moved to sit himself, he noted that Anakin kept looking
anywhere other than at his master directly. Though the teen did keep returning
his gaze to where their hands were still joined. No doubt if he could get away
with it, Anakin would prefer to excuse himself from not only the rest of this
conversation entirely, but also from the room, Sith ghost or not. Sitting with
his master when the teen thought he had betrayed or failed him seemed even more
frightening than losing control to a Sith.
And that was more disturbing than anything else the Sith might be able to
accomplish with the boy. Qui-Gon had to think that the pained expression that
passed over Obi-Wan's face as he kept a tight hold on Anakin's hand wasn't
because he had initially attempted to lift both of his to take both of
Anakin's.
"Your and my ignorance of the crystal will only help in this instance."
The tone was still hoarse and ragged, and Qui-Gon levitated pot and cup to pour
some more tea although he held it without pushing Obi-Wan to take it, as the
knight was not yet willing to let go of Anakin.
"If the Sith is here on Erinne because of the crystal, we have a responsibility
to make sure it stays out of its hands and knowledge if possible. No matter how
great a danger that might pose to us."
If only he knew.
But Anakin seemed to take this at face value, or was again distracting himself
from how else his master's words might be interpreted. "Then why don't we just
take it back to the Temple?" he suggested. "We turn it over to the Council, let
them worry about it and ..." The teen trailed off with a shrug that loosened
his hand from his master's.
"That would still leave the ghost, Padawan."
Obi-Wan had more than a trace of sadness in his voice, maybe even a little
disappointment, though Qui-Gon wasn't really all that surprised that Anakin
might be looking for an easy way out of all of this. And he pressed the cup
into Obi-Wan's hand before the knight could recapture his padawan's hand or
attention, using the distraction and shift of focus himself to master his own
disappointment and frustration.
Things were continuing to spiral more and more out of control, this dance of
denial and delaying tactics playing directly into the Sith's hands, but they
also had a very real time limit in which to deal with things before the Sith
managed to reconnect himself within the Force and threaten them again. As
important in the long term as it would be to deal with all the fallout so far
engulfing them from this mission, the mission itself would need to be finished
first.
"A ghost who is a Sith will not give up even if its initial quest must be
modified, Anakin."
Qui-Gon didn't feel he needed to point out that the Sith had already proven
ingenious just in getting them here, that he no longer had any doubt the Sith
had engineered the physical attack upon their arrival.
But he was also beginning to wonder if the Sith's attempts to control Anakin
had started because he did have his own knowledge about the crystal, but not
enough power in the Force to trigger its use. That he had been waiting all
along for the Jedi to be sent to deal with his appearance, and now his taking
advantage of Anakin's burgeoning sexual desires, confusion and the jealousy
that had been triggered by Qui-Gon's own presence on the mission -- as well as
Obi-Wan's own confusion in how to properly deal with it -- was simply
opportunistic.
Obi-Wan looked up from his cup over to Qui-Gon and gave a small, unhumorous
smile, pressing his lips into a thin line. "In our mission review on the Udan
Orr, you mentioned the common way to release a ghost is by aiding it to
complete whatever task is holding it to our realm. So there are others?"
Qui-Gon shook his head. "None that I've every heard of actually working."
Unfortunately, aiding the Sith in resolving his compulsion was also quite
impossible. So they would have to figure --
"Even our lightsabers are useless against it?" came from Anakin, somewhat
indignant.
Qui-Gon nodded. "I suppose because it is a Sith, it might be fought -- and
destroyed -- on the mental plane, but we'd need to bring in someone else to do
that and I don't think we have the time, even if we had the means to contact
the Council or even get back to our ship." Qui-Gon wasn't about to suggest Obi-
Wan try the first, and knew he didn't have the skill or the power himself.
Anakin probably had the raw power, but none of the training. And the second
option would expose them again to what physical power the Sith could engage
against them.
For a moment Obi-Wan looked about to comment or contradict, but Qui-Gon gave
him a fierce shake of his head and an expression that said he wasn't about it
let either happen. A long moment stretched out between them before the knight
held up his hand in acquiescence and tucked his head forward, perhaps hiding a
small grin. Almost immediately he then let his head fall back on his neck,
trying to isolate and stretch it, but came up against the pull against his
wound when he shifted his shoulders. The cup nearly tumbled from Obi-Wan's
hands before he closed his eyes.
Qui-Gon quickly slid around behind Obi-Wan. Anakin was also moving, taking the
cup then also raising a hand toward Obi-Wan's injury. Qui-Gon felt his heart
constrict when he realized Anakin's slow caution wasn't so much from fear of
hurting Obi-Wan by his touch, as from touching his master in general.
"If he wasn't a ghost how would you be confronting him?" Qui-Gon asked as he
moved his fingers up to rub and push at Obi-Wan's neck, redirecting the knight
to lean his head forward again over his chest. The groan that was Obi-Wan's
first response didn't seem to be too much from pain, nor was his second when
Anakin got past his fear and directed more of his energy into healing.
"From where I had the advantage if possible," Obi-Wan laughed around another
moan. "Force it to stay in a physical battle and try to keep it too occupied to
make mental attacks," he then added a bit more soberly.
But their Sith was basically all mental attacks.
"What about what you already did, Master? Can we somehow trap it outside of the
Force?"
Obi-Wan twisted his head sideways to give a smile to Anakin. "It would probably
work if there was someway to actually keep it in a Force-null field. But he was
dissipated just in crossing the field. If there was some way to keep hold of
him, of maybe creating the field around him ..."
His breath catching, Qui-Gon let his fingers still for a moment and Obi-Wan was
then further twisting his head around.
"What?"
"Do you think you could shield more than one person from the Sith's mental
attacks?" He started back in rubbing his thumbs opposite one another up and
down Obi-Wan's neck, again gently redirecting the knight to face forward. And
also helped Anakin guide the energy the teen was pulling and pouring through
the Force, this time letting it spread further throughout Obi-Wan's tense
muscles beyond his neck and shoulders.
"Anakin yes. You? I'm not so sure." Obi-Wan then reached across his body to
rest his hand on Anakin's shoulder before gently directing his padawan's
ministrations to cease. "Enough, Padawan. You'll drain yourself."
Anakin opened his mouth to protest but then just gave a little nod and scooted
back so that he was no longer within reach.
Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan's slight collapse into himself at Anakin's reaction, but
the knight simply straightened up, even pulling slightly away from the comfort
Qui-Gon would have been more than willing to continue to offer.
"What have you got, Qui-Gon?"
He let out a breath. Yes, he did have the germ of an idea. Only it would have
to involve the crystal. "I think it is safe to assume the Sith is aware there
is ... confusion between the three of us." Although he noticed Anakin stiffen,
Qui-Gon plunged ahead and didn't give him the chance to lie even to himself.
"What I am thinking would involve an exploitation of that knowledge, in essence
turning the tables by playing on his assumptions not only of our involvement
with each other, but his assumptions of behavior in general. What are most
Sith's goals?"
"Death and destruction," Anakin said automatically.
"Actually, I was thinking subjugation and subdual," Qui-Gon smiled faintly
around Obi-Wan's back. "Although death and destruction are often the outcome,
it is hard to spread the Darkness if there is no one left alive to succumb to
it." Obi-Wan gave something that could have been a laugh at that.
"By now the Sith has probably managed to pretty well gather himself back
together after your trick with the null field, but he is probably not really
ready to confront us so quickly." Qui-Gon paused and took a deep breath. "But I
don't think he could resist an opportunity to get at Anakin again if he had
reason to believe Anakin's shields were either working erratically or were down
altogether."
"And how could we convince him of that without actually doing so?"
Qui-Gon wasn't surprised at Obi-Wan's reaction, but Anakin seemed to be. At
least the teen's head shot up and his gaze stayed on his master without moving
to Qui-Gon.
"You would be protecting Anakin's consciousness behind your own shields and
thus giving the Sith access only to his unconscious mind."
"And you would be where?" The edge grew sharper, as if the knight was sensing
he'd not be happy with Qui-Gon's plan.
Qui-Gon wasn't too happy himself, but he this was all he had. "I do not think
he would be surprised if it appeared as if Anakin had given into his jealousy
and killed me, and I can mask my own life force to support the illusion."
He wasn't sure whether master or apprentice appeared more surprised by the
suggestion, nor who was actually more disconcerted, but again he rushed ahead.
Better to lay it all out and then let the disapproval or refusals come.
"If he comes in and sees that, along with you and Anakin in battle, and if
Anakin's mental shields were failing, well, I imagine the Sith would be more
than eager to try to take control." Anakin paled but raised his head and gave a
game smile. "So we stop the Sith while he is a part of me?"
"That is not an option."
The look Obi-Wan finally turned on Qui-Gon, a look no doubt building from the
moment he began his proposal, was one silently saying it had better not be an
option. Anakin appeared again as if he was going to speak, but this time when
he backed down, it looked more like he was simply planning to take matters into
his own hand later and sacrifice himself if necessary, instead of worrying
about challenging either master.
Still his words, when they came, were little more than a horrified whisper.
"Then what stops the Sith from having me kill my master?"
"I would think his own need to have a witness to his success --"
"No!" the teen protested.
"I don't intend to rely solely on that, Anakin." Qui-Gon put all the
reassurances that he could in his expression and his tone. "We would also
entice him with the presence of the gem he's been seeking."
And now they were both looking surprised again instead of angry. Or scared.
"I think we can use the crystal to trap the Sith. If that works, we can then
drop the crystal back into the remnants of the Force-null field.
And without access to the Force, it should dissipate for good."
"That sounds too easy," the teen frowned.
His master looked more pensive, not at all happy about the suggestion, but with
something behind his eyes that might be resignation.
"You're troubled?" he directed toward Obi-Wan with just a little touch of
defensiveness. 'Do you have a better plan?' he wanted to ask, but didn't.
"You're not troubled about this?" Obi-Wan laughed without any trace of humor.
He then shook his head, not so much in denial but as if trying to shake away
his emotions. "Setting aside for the moment that the Force-null field doesn't
exist anymore -- at least as I understand it -- how dangerous would exposure to
the crystal be to us?"
"I have to believe that since I was able to hide it away, I have also avoided
its effects. I also believe that you two will be able to resist its ...
allure." Though Qui-Gon wasn't sure how long Anakin would be able to resist,
having already held it. Especially if the Sith also began pushing the boy to
take it up.
"Actual physical contact enhances its influence so none of us should actually
touch it ..." He shrugged. All of his suppositions were pure guesswork at this
point since he'd never really believed before that it could do what it was
reputed.
"Yet the Sith cannot ever physically touch the crystal either, so there must be
a strong mental component to its use, correct?"
Obi-Wan's observation was logical -- and correct, but it was a bit of a leap
since Qui-Gon hadn't really explained anything about the crystal, and he had a
moment's pause and concern. But then Obi-Wan gave him a tired smile, not there
for very long but of that particular variety that was so much a visual
representation of Obi-Wan's personality, that Qui-Gon truly doubted the Sith
could emulate it if connected to the knight.
He nodded. "So we just have to keep him distracted and keep him from noticing
it until we're ready for him to do so."
"By Anakin's and my fight."
Again Qui-Gon nodded, but had a sudden feeling that his and Obi-Wan's thoughts
were no longer quite as much in tandem. Which was ... disturbing.
"Okay, I guess it's worth a try. And certainly better than any idea I can come
up with."
Qui-Gon's feeling of something a bit off was growing, almost like a warning
from the Force. But it wasn't -- or wasn't warning him to stop exactly.
Nor was Obi-Wan done talking.
"We can fight, but not with sabers. The risk is too great that one of us would
sustain a severe injury --"
"I can make it look good, Master," Anakin began.
"Yes, but I wouldn't." And Obi-Wan's smile, though soft, did nothing to
reassure Qui-Gon this time. "Nor will you be in your conscious mind, remember?
Not until the end and you would have defeated me long before that. I need to
stay conscious myself to get you both back into the battle, which means it will
have to be a different type of fight. One that you can win without really
hurting me."
Anakin looked confused for a moment, and was gifted with another brittle,
fragile smile.
"Anger wasn't the only emotion the Sith was trying to take advantage of, my
Padawan."
Anakin started backing away, his mouth open but silently protesting as he was
shaking his head back and forth.
Qui-Gon was more than tempted to join the teen, but only curled his hands into
fists, tight enough to bring pain. But not enough to distract himself from Obi-
Wan's next words, no matter how he might have willed it so.
"It will be okay, Ani. It is not rape if I allow it."
******
***** Chapter 5 *****
******
Of course Anakin refused. Qui-Gon wanted to -- by the Force, Obi-Wan wanted to
refuse himself! But overall, Qui-Gon was right. They really had no other
options. Eliminating a Sith ghost was not at all like fighting and killing a
Sith. Which made Obi-Wan wonder how others had ever dealt with this situation
in the past. And what would have happened to him and Anakin, had Qui-Gon not
been with them.
Well, actually, he really didn't have to wonder, since they were just about to
enact the likeliest scenario of what would have come about by itself. At least
this way, they could hope for a successful ending that did not leave him dead
or enslaved to his fallen padawan.
As long as he kept that firmly in mind, kept his focus on Anakin -- on saving
Anakin -- and on eliminating the Sith threat, well then, he could accept his
necessary role in this with grace and only a modicum of trepidation that was
not so difficult to control in order not to agitate his padawan any further.
Indeed, he would be the only one fully in control - the only one in his
conscious mind. And so had little room to complain. Anakin's task in this would
be the most wrenching and fraught with ramifications afterward, while Qui-Gon's
was the most dangerous should the other master let himself fall too deep into
the coma, or Obi-Wan was not in a position to bring him back before too much
time made the coma and death real.
They decided to enact their … drama in the bath, as dark and dangerous emotions
were still hanging heavy within. It was hoped the anger, fear and out of
control lust they'd already experienced could be drawn like a skin around their
tightly controlled psyches this time, and give further richness to the illusion
they hoped to weave. There were also fewer things present within the room that
might be used as weapons should things get out of hand.
Staging this in the bath had led to another small hitch, however, as to how
Anakin was to allegedly overpower and mortally wound Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan was still
adamant about not using one of their sabers, even set to a non-lethal level,
for he was not willing to trust any of their lives or well being to the Sith
not taking advantage of such a weapon's presence. Not to mention that with the
cauterizing effect from the saber against flesh, they would have to give Qui-
Gon severe enough burns that could end up being life-threatening for real, in
order to keep the Sith from seeing through the deception. They needed blood,
lots of blood so that the Sith might not look beyond it.
In the end, it was decided to use the slagged tube that Qui-Gon had brought
back with him from the library. The metal had already been severely stressed in
the collapse of the staircase, and with some careful application of the Force,
one end was rendered jagged again in order to give Qui-Gon a similar type of
wound to Obi-Wan's. Only Qui-Gon's would be placed much closer to his heart,
but not truly deep enough to scar.
Watching Anakin have to do that actually hurt worse then supplying the blood
for the scene, but Obi-Wan was already partially disconnecting himself from his
body. It was much harder to disconnect from Anakin's shaking and tears, or the
thrill of dread that clenched his own throat and stomach to see Qui-Gon fall as
if the wound was indeed mortal, his limbs splayed unnaturally in order to make
things look more realistic.
At least he could almost ignore the flash of crimson of the crystal rolling
down only to get caught inside right at the end of the tube. Until the flash
also caught Anakin's attention, and the words and warning from things left
unsaid by Qui-Gon came back to Obi-Wan. It was not only the Sith that would
need to be distracted from its presence.
Which meant, ready or not, he had to lead Anakin to his part.
They'd both previously stripped, unable to face enacting any of this while
still in their Jedi garb. Now they wore only shirts liberated from the armoires
in the bedroom. Obi-Wan had also taken the brief opportunity to prepare his
body during Anakin's last-ditch attempt to convince Qui-Gon to stop the plan
while they were clearing the bath of any thing else that might be used as a
weapon. He really wished he'd had time to help prepare Anakin -- physically,
yes, but also mentally. Emotionally. Even though Anakin would be the one
nominally in control and doing the penetrating, this was so not what he had
wanted for his padawan's first experience of sexual intercourse.
"Ani!"
Anakin turned his head at Obi-Wan's command, tearing his gaze away from the
gem. Or maybe he'd been more fascinated by Qui-Gon's all too convincing
performance. The teen licked his lips when Obi-Wan reached out his hand to him,
then flushed with the realization that it was time to move to the next stage.
And again started shaking his head back and forth.
"Master, I can't! I can't go through with this."
Impatient more from fear and a sense that their time was running out than from
anger, Obi-Wan closed the distance between the two of them and folded his own
body against Anakin's. Both shirts were unbuttoned and that was all they wore
except for Obi-Wan's bandages, leaving vast amounts of skin to come in contact
with each other. Despite Anakin's real concerns and regret in doing this, he
was also seventeen and awash with male hormones. The instant Obi-Wan dropped
his hand to Anakin's penis, the teen moaned and started to stiffen, then became
fully erect when Obi-Wan smothered Anakin's mouth with his own.
Anakin thrust his tongue inward as Obi-Wan coaxed their lips to part, finding a
degree of enthusiasm and beginning to lose himself in the moment. Joy and
desire flooded their bond, and for a moment Obi-Wan thought to keep things this
way minutes longer, to let Anakin experience pleasure and sense Obi-Wan's own
unexpected responses to his padawan's earnestness. But there was no time, not
if they hoped to catch the Sith off guard and before it was back to its full
powers. And not if they were going to ensure Qui-Gon's ability to awaken and
handle the final portion of the plan.
He raised his hand up to cup his padawan's cheek, letting his own shields down
long enough to send all of his pride and love for Anakin through their bond
while encouraging Anakin to drop his own. He then coaxed the teen to follow
down the shining path twined between them. Once they'd melded close enough,
Obi-Wan quickly snapped his shields back up, in essence trapping Anakin away
from his own body. He had another moment's regret that neither he nor Qui-Gon
had explained this part of the plan. But Obi-Wan had known Anakin would have
resisted, even when this was for his own protection, and he could not afford to
allow Anakin to fight this, not when he'd need to retain all of his already
deficient mental strength to hold both their minds safe from the Sith.
This way took few seconds before all of the teen that made him Anakin was
shunted away someplace safe and deep within Obi-Wan's own mind. Which left him
holding onto a body operating primarily on instinct and hidden desires. He
started to shove away.
The reaction was immediate and even more violent than Obi-Wan had expected.
He'd come to expect that his padawan would eventually exceed him not only in
size but also in strength, physically and in the Force. But never before this
moment had he truly realized just how much greater that might be. Even in the
incident before, he'd allowed Anakin to be in control, fearing -- perhaps
incorrectly -- that fighting back would do more damage between them and their
relationship, than in letting Anakin go through with his seduction. It had been
wrong of course, and had served not only to encourage Anakin but also the Sith.
But then he'd already made more than one mistake in dealing with Anakin's
growing sexual desires on this trip.
And perhaps never worse than in this specific moment.
The backhand across his face surprised him, as did that fact that it was hard
enough to send him crashing painfully to the floor. He'd expected some
roughness, given that Anakin had little experience with sex other than
masturbation, but he'd not expected actual violence. At least not until the
Sith had also gotten in on the act.
But even as one part of his mind was beginning to panic and second guess
himself into thinking that fighting with sabers might actually have been the
safer option, the part that was both master and Jedi was able to think about
what was happening, to figure out why Anakin's subconscious desires would be
twisting pain to mean pleasure. And the answer came almost immediately, as well
as understanding the type of behavior he'd need to adopt to come out of this
relatively intact.
Anakin had been a slave; had probably been exposed to all manner of behavior
between adults (including sexual ones) at an age before Obi-Wan had even
understood there was a difference between the various sexes and species. No
doubt all of his padawan's early exposure to sexual practices had included some
form of violence or domination. And, having little other personal experiences,
having only a basic, intellectual understanding of the parts love and affection
played in a sexual encounter, his instincts were, therefore, primarily ...
unpleasant.
Something he'd need to correct in his padawan -- assuming either of them
survived this.
Before Anakin could take exception again, Obi-Wan carefully rolled over onto
his stomach then spread his legs in an act of submission. He'd planned for
things to happen in this position anyway as he really didn't think he could
face seeing the blankness in his padawan's eyes, especially not the Darkness
when the Sith moved in behind them. But despite his own intellectual acceptance
of what needed to be done and what was now happening, he couldn't keep from
catching his breath when Anakin kicked his legs farther apart before kneeling
down between them. Or keep from giving a little cry when Anakin brutally thrust
in two fingers.
At the presence of the third, right out of the textbook, Obi-Wan found himself
trying to scoot away, only to be stopped by Anakin's other hand lowering,
taking hold of his scrotum and squeezing. Nausea overwhelmed absolutely
everything for a blinding second, but somehow Obi-Wan managed to keep from
heaving, to keep from struggling further. He allowed himself to be drawn upward
to his knees as his head pushed downward, although a whimper escaped through
his clenched lips at the pressure this then also put on his shoulder.
"Don't hold the cries back," he suddenly heard in his ear as Anakin leaned over
his body.
Even had actual speech coming from Anakin's throat not given it away, Obi-Wan
could feel the Sith's sudden presence. And began to shake in a reaction that
had very little to do with the sudden tearing and impossible fullness splitting
him. That pain was actually something manageable, something understandable, and
nowhere near as threatening to his sanity as the smothering feeling of Darkness
pouring over and through him.
"A-ani --" he tried to plead even as he knew it would not be Anakin who
answered.
"No more Ani, Master. Perhaps you should call me master -- no, Darth as in the
Sith Lords of old. Darth Vader. That has a nice ring to it, doesn't it Obi-
Wan?"
"No!" Obi-Wan choked out, the Darkness clawing at his mind even as the thing
pushed Anakin to tear at his body. Vader had been the name in Obi-Wan's
visions, a vile, at least half-mechanical monstrosity that had held nothing of
his Anakin within. This was not -- he couldn't let --
"Scream for me Obi-Wan."
And he couldn't help it as his hands were suddenly wrenched behind his back
with the Force, his weight crashing onto his neck and shoulders, as Anakin's
own weight was then added to hold him immobile save for the fierce thrusting.
He could feel the initial healing and synthskin under his bandages give way,
could feel the blood begin to flow and soak through the cloth. Now they had an
even tighter deadline, for he knew he had already bled too much for his body to
cope with further loss. Will and Force and the energy Anakin had earlier
provided to him could only keep him going for so long --
An even louder scream was abruptly wrested from Obi-Wan when the hand the Sith
had kept underneath them moved from his scrotum to his penis with a harsh,
exacting skill to try and bring him erect. At this Obi-Wan's mind blanked and
he began bucking to get away, all thoughts of submitting -- of even the mission
-- gone. His mind screamed in blind, atavistic terror and all he knew was that
he had to fight.
Which only served to excite the Sith more. Yet it was Anakin's body that
reacted first and it became the Sith's turn to fall prey to overwhelming
physical reactions. The Sith's hold weakened, first in the Force, then
physically, and Obi-Wan was able to break free, then away although he could
only scrabble over and back along the floor, no longer having the strength to
stand or get himself back under control.
Almost instinctively he was moving toward Qui-Gon even as Anakin convulsed in
orgasm, some part of him still looking to salvage the plan. Or to at least
enlist aid, as he was way in over his head. But his palm came down on the end
of crystal-encased tube first. Twisting his head over his shoulder, he watched
in horror as the tube flipped and rolled away, the crystal actually slipping
further back into the interior and now no longer even visible.
That brief distraction, as well as the despair he couldn't stop from crashing
over him, gave the Sith opportunity to galvanize Anakin's body and come after
him. Obi-Wan kicked out, a tight keen coming from his throat when he connected
squarely with Anakin's kneecap and it popped with a resounding crack, but the
injury didn't bother the Sith, merely slowed it down. Obi-Wan turned and
reached out for the tube, not really sure if he was reaching for the crystal or
for it as some type of weapon, but again the Sith recovered too quickly and
called for it himself through the Force.
Another conflict Obi-Wan wasn't going to win, not with the levels of energy his
padawan could command, and especially with a Sith's control. He could hope -
- but no, as he rolled over he saw that the Sith held it with the jagged, open
end upward, staring in fascination at the blood that surrounded it, then over
to Qui-Gon's body, apparently unable to sense either the Force-null field
within the cylinder or the crystal.
"Poetic justice to kill your padawan with the same weapon he used to killed
your lover, little Jedi?" the Sith mocked. "That must have really pained you,
seeing your padawan fall to the Dark before I got to him. And to use such a
primitive, messy weapon. Do you think it hurt?"
Obi-Wan had continued to scrabble back until Qui-Gon's body blocked his
progress, but now lifted his chin to the monster that looked through his
padawan's eyes. "Hand it to me and I'll show you," he promised and let the
truth of his words ring in the Force. He would rather see Anakin dead before
condemning him to become the monster of his visions.
But the Sith simply laughed, something that should have only ever belonged to
Anakin.
"Now, now, isn't it a master's duty to let their padawans find out about how
things work on their own?" It smacked the tube into Anakin's palm, not hard
enough to break anything, for the Sith still needed Anakin's body. "Roll back
over onto your stomach, little Jedi, and let's see just what kind of damage it
can do."
Obi-Wan was caught between the necessity to refuse and realization that the
more the Sith maneuvered the tube, the quicker it would discover the crystal.
He hesitated, but wasn't sure if he then actually let the Sith's use of the
Force overpower him, or whether he just didn't have the strength to fight
anymore. At least things should be over soon --
The Sith surprised him again, first kneeling then hovering over his body,
grasping him by the hair and hauling him upward before pushing him forward.
Again Obi-Wan started to struggle, twisting, trying to pull away even if it
meant tearing his hair from his scalp. Not this, anything -- even sodomy with
the jagged edge of the tube -- But the Sith kept inexorably pushing his head -
- his mouth -- forward into the blood that covered Qui-Gon's chest.
Mewling noises were spilling from Obi-Wan's throat, but he was powerless to do
anything other than gag as he was pressed down and his mouth forced open. It
didn't matter that it was his own blood, that he knew Qui-Gon wasn't really
dead. The Sith's intent was horrifying enough, was too much, and Obi-Wan could
feel his mind start to turn inward to seek the same type of protection he was
giving Anakin. But he couldn't -- he couldn't --
Oh, by the blessed grace of any god ever worshipped, no!
Another Anakin laugh bled across mind and soul as the Sith reached out with the
Force to untie, rip and then spread open Qui-Gon's leggings. "One last time,
little Jedi," he was whispering in Obi-Wan's ear. "Before his mind is
completely gone and his body finishes cooling. Maybe you can even get your
lover up, give him one last moment of bliss before he forever abandons you to
me. Maybe --"
The Sith was gesturing with the tube, brushing it to cut against Obi-Wan's
cheek even as it used Anakin's other hand and the Force to make Obi-Wan twist
and stretch across Qui-Gon's chest. It then used the tube's edge to cut away at
Qui-Gon's undergarment, to prod and produce more cuts, but a sudden clunk that
was somehow louder even than Obi-Wan's incoherent protests, and a rolling
rhythm caught the Sith's attention in a stronger hold than its intended
depravities.
It let Obi-Wan drop, though it kept a tight hold with the Force, going so far
as to even mute Obi-Wan completely so there were no other sounds beyond his
struggle to breathe. And the rolling clunks. Out of the corner of his eye, Obi-
Wan could see the Sith sit back on Anakin's haunches and turned the tube upward
first as if to make sure of what he'd heard.
"Oh, don't tell me," it crowed with a chilling smile that would haunt Obi-Wan's
dreams for too many days to come in seeing it on Anakin's face. "How terribly
careless of you, little Jedi." In the next instant it upended the tube and let
the crystal drop. The too narrow aperture caught the crystal at the last
second, but the Sith began clawing it open and in that instant the plan came
together.
The Sith was suddenly caught between the pull of the crystal, the disruption of
the Force-null field he had stuck Anakin's finger into, and then the full power
of Anakin's conscious mind as Obi-Wan let his shielding fall and re-opened
their bond. Instantly the Sith fled toward the crystal, either to use it, or
perhaps simply to escape Anakin's cold, utter rage. Obi-Wan was also swept up
within Anakin's rage, somehow still managing to reach for Qui-Gon and call the
other back before flinging himself into the safe haven he'd found there once
before to escape the Sith. This time he was also escaping from the crystal and
his own padawan, until darkness took him away from everything.
5.
Disconnected. Not completely -- not exactly. Something, though. Different -
- wrong.
Something missing.
Or maybe just too much -- of everything. An overload of echoes. Sounds bleeding
in colors too intense. Tartness swallowing shadows and spitting out sharp
edges.
Disconnected, but not, an existence filled with scents of pain and regret.
Pain flowing into a chiaroscuro of darkness then light, while regret swirled in
all blues and greens, before becoming a melody threading through and defining
infinity.
Images now moving shutter quick, sounds developing into a soundtrack of meaning
and sensation -- into more echoes. Ghosts of memories until they became ghosts
in reality. Became dead things reaching, penetrating, spewing darkness and
leaving ashes --
Thoughts then scattered with nothingness being preferred to that Darkness or
fear. But something tugged again, gently pulling him back. Yet only to an
awareness of self, not consciousness, and of being surrounded in an ocean of
peace and comfort and light.
Which Obi-Wan recognized, to his amazement and more than a little awe. And a
little fear. But this was still the Force and somehow it was speaking
familiarly despite his never previously being so in the moment to see past the
connections between its individual components. In this moment, the Living Force
breathed through him, cradled him -- protected him within a level of intimacy
he'd never before known.
And this time he became aware and awake, with an abruptness that left him
reeling. Memory and pain flooded him, but Qui-Gon was instantly there in his
mind, deeper than the connection Obi-Wan had once had with his own master,
deeper than even his with Anakin -- but no, Anakin was there too, although only
as a mere mental shadow set behind Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan recognized the responding
physical touch to his chest and forehead, feeling the odd mixture of
exasperation, fear and relief present any time his padawan had needed sit vigil
and await his recovery.
Still his body tried to curl away, even as somewhere in the back of his mind he
recognized an additional familiarity that echoed of this not being the first
time he'd been so eased by his companions. And so he strove to override his
initial terror and the half memory of them in his most recent dream -
- nightmare. And instead fell once more into that ocean of Qui-Gon's sense of
the Living Force while being buoyed by Anakin's boundless energy.
Once more being guarded from nightmares and memories. As they had been doing,
no doubt, for hours if not a full day or more.
Movement awakened more than memory, however, once distant pain becoming
noticeable in his shoulder, his head. His ass. Obi-Wan froze and accepted with
ill grace what they offered, though he would rather have fled from his memories
-- and from them. But he had allowed the reality to happen that he now had to
face, and intellectually he knew Anakin had likely been more damaged than he
had.
Which was his responsibility to address and help his padawan get over, not make
the problems worse.
A rawness in his throat made itself known over the rest of his hurts in just
thinking about talking, but Obi-Wan pushed the word out as he blindly reached
for the hand that was quickly being snatched away. "A-ani?"
Immediately Anakin's presence and energy jolted through him, along with his
padawan's guilt and remorse. Obi-Wan tightened his closed eyes and retreated
back into Qui-Gon's serenity, not exactly pulling away from Anakin's attempt to
bolster his system, but allowing the other master to help him mute the
intensity of the teen's emotions impacting upon his own. Only to suddenly
realize just what it was he had done. And discovering just how intertwined all
three of them had become when he could feel something pass between Qui-Gon and
Anakin, but only understood it because Anakin then drew away mentally on his
own. Along with feeling his padawan reach for a calmness normally quite foreign
to his fiery personality.
"Here, Master, try this."
And Obi-Wan was being lifted upward into a position less supine, Anakin moving
behind him so he might rest against his padawan's broad chest before a cool
glass of something pressed against his lips. He focused on the how the liquid
eased his throat instead of on being trapped within Anakin's arms, and finally
managed to open his eyes.
To find that he had no idea where he -- they - were. The room was too
sumptuously laid out to still be somewhere within the house they'd taken refuge
in. But any question he might have asked immediately faded as he also noted
that although Qui-Gon was indeed present, the Jedi Master was stretched out on
the bed next to him, looking barely more alive than Obi-Wan himself felt.
"W-what --" he began, trying to twist around to look at his padawan, then
unable to not struggle when Anakin tightened his embrace to restrain him.
Before Obi-Wan could injure either himself or Anakin, however, Qui-Gon's
presence spread across his mind again, dulling his panic although increasing
his confusion as the other man was barely even breathing.
Qui-Gon's presence came to him even stronger then, and Obi-Wan abruptly
understood that the other had been deep in meditation while watching over his
recovery. Qui-Gon's body was now beginning a series of movements and stretches,
however, taking deeper breaths, and Obi-Wan could sense the other returning his
awareness outward. Qui-Gon's eyes opened, the ocean of the Living Force still
very present until he blinked a couple of times and it was once again only Qui-
Gon looking out. And sitting up. Reaching forward.
"Hello."
Obi-Wan tried to smile in response and forced himself to allow the touch, but
Qui-Gon seemed to sense his reluctance and only brushed the back of his hand
down Obi-Wan's cheek before drawing back. And taking a few more deep breaths,
Obi-Wan supposed, to center and finish reconnecting with his outer senses.
Another ... something seemed to pass between Qui-Gon and his padawan, although
Obi-Wan was too tired and too disconnected to decide whether the exchange had
been mental or visual. Anakin's hands quickly moved from holding him tightly to
a more casual and loose support, which was all he could decide might mattered.
And which Obi-Wan found he could relax into.
"Where are we?" he asked, the strain in speaking this time as much from having
to think to put the words together as actually making himself understood.
Qui-Gon ran his hands through his hair to push it back and smiled, his eyes
then lifting behind Obi-Wan. He reached to take the glass that he might offer
it again to Obi-Wan. "Your padawan was able to restore the communications that
had been severed in the house and make contact with the government officials
who had requested our assistance. We're at one of the governmental houses -
- with only a droid staff to assist," he added quickly, as Obi-Wan paled and
nearly choked on the cool water.
While he appreciated the thought that they were no longer isolated, Obi-Wan
really didn't want to have to interact with anyone right now.
Not even his companions if the truth were to be told, although he also knew
that such a thought was just as much a result of how far he'd allowed his mind
to move into the Force as it was in response to what had driven him there. A
part of him was appalled to consider that left on his own, he might not have
come back, not even for Anakin's sake.
Nothingness was preferred to Darkness-- even now the implication of his
previous decision had its appeal, and it wasn't really nothingness, not if he
simply became one with the Force.
Two sets of hands reached for him then, and he reacted instinctively as for a
moment it was too like his dreams -- his memories. This time he fought back as
he hadn't during the assault, directing a wave of Force with his injured arm
while slamming his other elbow back into the presence behind him and flinging
himself down and away.
"Obi-Wan --"
The words, the brush against his mind meant nothing -- meant danger. But his
body betrayed him as he tried to evade the hands that still came for him. He
hunched inward, the pain overwhelming even memory of what had caused his
injuries. And this time he didn't -- couldn't - resist. But the hands were not
hurting or threatening, were offering comfort and understanding. And then
forgiveness when Obi-Wan returned to enough awareness to recognize whom he'd
been trying to defend himself against.
"While that's not exactly the actions I would have encouraged, I take it that
you are back with us?" Qui-Gon panted as he and Anakin both worked to help Obi-
Wan uncurl enough to be helped onto the bed again.
Obi-Wan couldn't stop the dull flush that came to his face, and opened his
mouth to apologize, but Anakin was softly pressing fingers to his lips to keep
him from speaking, even as the teen was also helping Qui-Gon prop him up in a
seated position against the bed's headboard.
"Don't, master. I would rather you fight or even hate me than for you to feel
you would be better off in the Force."
The tears spiking Anakin's eyelashes sparked Obi-Wan's own, and he flushed even
deeper. "I don't -- I will never hate you, Ani. I -- what's happened -- we will
need to --" He gave up, unable to articulate what he was feeling and could only
turn his head away from the other two. He had wronged Anakin, should never have
allowed his padawan to have taken part in the confrontation -- should have
found another way --
"Master, it's okay, really."
Anakin was now more or less petting his arm and Obi-Wan's stomach clenched, but
this time more from worry for his padawan instead of because of Anakin's touch.
"I, ah ... well I'm sorry too, of course," the teen continued. "I know more or
less what happened, but I don't really remember, so you don't need to worry
..." and it was his turn to trail off and look flustered.
Was his padawan lying? But no, Anakin wouldn't -- didn't -- ever.
Still Obi-Wan found himself looking to Qui-Gon as well as reaching cautiously
to the mental link between them. The other master nodded imperceptibly in
confirmation of what Obi-Wan was sensing, and let concern show in his eyes.
Concern that Obi-Wan immediately shared. They would need to determine if Anakin
was just in denial and had suppressed any conscious memories, or whether some
sort of damage might have been done to him by the Sith.
Or by his own master.
"How long have I been out?"
Qui-Gon moved to sit next to Obi-Wan, no doubt to give him something to lean
on. "A little over thirty hours."
Yet he still felt tired -- exhausted actually, especially when trying to think.
Especially in thinking about how much he would need to work with Anakin - and
work through his own failings.
On the other hand, were he to succumb once more to unconsciousness or sleep, no
doubt he would again dream, something he'd much prefer to avoid until after he
had a chance to meditate and put his thoughts in order. Nor could he expect the
others not to stay with him, to continue to look after him as they had
obviously been doing.
When he thought about what Qui-Gon had been doing, protecting and keeping him
safe within his perceptions of the Living Force -- oh, but that had to mean
Anakin had been on his own, watching out over the two of them while alone with
the government officials -- or his own thoughts. And lack of memories.
"Really, it was okay," Anakin said reassuringly. "I had plenty to do to keep
myself busy. I, ah, I brought the Udan Orr over to the closer space port and --
"
His padawan broke off, turning bright red and ducking his head.
Qui-Gon looked just as shocked to hear this as Obi-Wan felt. Obi-Wan's surprise
and distress was almost enough to make him forget how accurately Anakin had
responded to his unspoken concerns. Which really wasn't surprising, given how
deeply he'd taken Anakin's consciousness into his own, prior to the Sith's
arrival, plus his retreat into Qui-Gon's mind himself.
He reached over and entwined his fingers with Anakin's. "You've managed
admirably, Ani. I am very proud of you."
Anakin blushed even more fiery and offered up a surprisingly shy smile. "I've
also been meditating, which has helped a lot. Maybe if we -- all three of us
try it together?"
He sounded so eager, so hopeful. Obi-Wan would have acquiesced just in response
to that even if he hadn't felt it might be the best thing for them right now.
The bond was already deep enough to allow them to exchange emotions and
thoughts; maybe sharing memories and perceptions would allow him to put a
proper focus on things. Letting the other two be aware of his conflicted
feelings would mean he'd not have to work so hard to hide or excuse having
them.
Confronting his fears before they took control -- again.
Qui-Gon's expression reflected a gentle understanding when Obi-Wan turned his
head up toward the other man, while he could feel only compassion across the
link.
"What happened to the Sith?" he asked, proud of himself in even getting the
word out. Now if only he could get its taint out of his mind, but that's why he
wanted any remaining questions about it out in the open before meditation.
"Contained by Master Qui-Gon." Anakin said with a bit of smugness, or maybe
only new-found pride in someone other than his master. Which Obi-Wan found
himself not minding at all, though before he'd experienced his own bouts of
jealousy when they'd both been a few years younger.
Even further indication of how integral Qui-Gon had become in their lives?
Qui-Gon reached out to cover their joined hands under his. "He -- it is likely
already disincorporated from the being cut off from the Force," he said in
validation of Anakin's conviction. "But Anakin has suggested we jettison the
tube containing the crystal and launch them both into the sun when we're ready
to depart Erinne just to make sure." He tightened his hand briefly. "I concur."
Well Obi-Wan certainly had no objections. Something that powerful, even if it
wouldn't ever have worked as reputed, was not something that should be just
lying around. Even in the hands of the Jedi. In a time like theirs of so many
wrongs, even the most innocent of them might be corrupted into believing trying
to correct injustices would justify the nullification of free will.
He, better than many, knew the past -- good, bad or indifferent -- had a place
and meaning within the patterns of the Force that tampering would only make
worse.
He suddenly gave a silent laugh. Including his own, most recent past, he had to
acknowledge. Hiding from it or wishing it away would only invalidate the
sacrifices and courage shown -- even his own. And what was any man but the sum
of his experiences and how he dealt with them?
"You know, the Council is going to have a collective fit once they find out,"
he offered.
"About the loss of such a priceless artifact, or the bond between the three of
us?" Anakin grinned widely. And instead of his padawan's usual concern over how
the Council thought of or treated them, his voice and emotions were only quiet
amusement.
Perhaps one more legacy in having someone as placid as Qui-Gon helping to
create that bond?
"Actually, it's because of your feelings, Master," came his padawan's reply
again to his thoughts. "I -- you -- an awful lot of your thoughts were
unshielded while you were ... dreaming." Anakin sounded apologetic, but also a
bit pleased to have found this new closeness.
Obi-Wan was immediately embarrassed to have been laid so bare even to his
padawan but, of course, Anakin would know that too, which made the emotion
rather irrelevant. And Obi-Wan imagined he'd be learning a few things normally
left shielded from the other two before the three of them managed to fully sort
out their new, extraordinary bond.
The Council was going to have fits over both. Oh gods, not to mention over the
after mission report if they included everything that he had encouraged!
"Oh no you don't, Master. You are not going to take the blame for everything."
Qui-Gon was nodding in agreement, and gently tugging Obi-Wan back against his
side when he'd moved away in reaction to that last thought. "Unless Coruscant's
Temple is run much differently than the others I've been affiliated with, we
can have most of the details heard only by the Soul Healers and held under
patient confidentiality. No one here is aware of anything that happened to
contradict any report. You were seen to by one of the droids to make sure you
were not too ... damaged and --"
"And I've already reprogrammed its memories," Anakin said without apology.
Not too damaged.
Except he was afraid they were all too damaged by this mission and would have
permanent scars. Anakin -- why in just his willingness alone to alter mission
facts -- showed him to have been tainted by the Sith even had he done such a
thing for his master's protection and reputation. Then there were the rents if
not actual scars from Obi-Wan's inability to properly handle the teen's steps
into maturity which, no doubt, had precipitated much of the disaster in the
first place.
Nor was Qui-Gon unscathed, for he had been the foundation by which he and
Anakin had needed survive more or less intact, and was now a keeper of secrets
and vulnerabilities, not to mention also trapped into a permanent relationship
because of Obi-Wan's irresponsibility and overconfidence in being able to
handle Siths and visions.
His own, richly deserved scars, didn't go nearly deep enough.
"Oh no you don't, Master," Anakin fiercely repeated himself. "We got into this
mess together, and we'll get through this together. All three of us."
The sentiment was echoed in Qui-Gon's thoughts and in his touch. But it could
never be that simple.
"Master Yoda will have to know everything," he sighed, but unsure of whether he
was warning them or just himself. "As should Plo Koon since he was the one who
sent us on the mission."
And he supposed he could handle Master Yoda knowing of his failures and
weakness. The oldest living Jedi had seen so much over the course of his
extraordinary lifetime that little could shock or provoke the ancient one any
longer. And Plo, well Plo had been Obi-Wan's master's best friend for many
years before and all through Obi-Wan's apprenticeship. He, like Master Yoda,
was well aware of Obi-Wan's inadequacies and still managed to remain a willing
mentor and friend.
In all reality, telling the Soul Healers would likely be more difficult. He'd
had little need for them in his past, thank the Force, and so their
interactions together had remained the regular yet infrequent testings and
evaluations that every active field operative underwent over the course of
their duties. They'd hoped for more -- expected more once he'd shown his
proclivity in having true visions and had never quite been convinced that he
could normally remain detached from them as he did even the worst of missions.
But then they were more connected to the Living Force just like Qui-Gon, which
made them wonderful healers and listeners, yet allowed them little
understanding in how he saw things through the Force's Unifying nature.
In fact, the only exception in truly needing them before now, had been after
Naboo to deal with his severed link and his master's death, along with Bruck's
and Garen's, and Bant's injury. Which had been quite unpleasant enough for all
involved.
"But you're not alone this time, Master, in going through it or in dealing with
the aftermath. I certainly don't think less of you for finding out you're not
perfect -- or even always smart or right," he added with a wide grin to take
the sting out. Not that there was any since Anakin only spoke the truth.
"And I'm sure Master Qui-Gon feels no differently," his padawan then continued
with a tug on their collective hand clasp.
Obi-Wan didn't have to follow Anakin's gaze to their companion to physically
and mentally feel Qui-Gon's affirmation. To feel that Anakin truly meant what
he was saying beyond the tricks they were taught to offer comfort to the
victims of things they too often found themselves ministering to.
It was odd to think of the three of them as the victims this time, but their
injuries and recovery would extend beyond the collateral damage a Jedi
sometimes endured to carry out their mission. And maybe that was his problem -
- and his solution. Maybe he should give himself the same consideration as they
did those they helped.
"When did you grow up and get so wise, my padawan?"
"I had to, Master," Anakin said with something that suspiciously sounded like a
sob covered by a laugh. "Look at the company I keep."
******
"Two minutes before translation from hyperspace, Masters."
Message sent, Anakin took another careful perusal of the controls. Everything
showed satisfactory and he breathed a small sigh of relief. Although he'd had
confidence in the repairs the Udan Orr had needed, especially since he and his
master had done most of them themselves, it was still a relief to know that
they were finally almost home. Their return trip had proven thankfully
uneventful -- almost boring -- once they'd jettisoned the tube holding the
crystal and the Sith in one of their missile pods.
The commonness of the trip had been a blessing. Even as it had given him too
much time to think about things that had happened, it had also given him time
to start to deal with some of them. Such as that Sithly device.
He'd learned more than enough about it from Master Qui-Gon's thoughts, as well
as the talk he and the older Jedi had had on their first day on the ship while
his master had been resting. Discovering how close he'd come to being
influenced by It had almost been more horrifying than knowing he'd nearly been
taken over by the ghost. At least the Sith had once been alive, had lived and
breathed and desired. The thought of an inanimate object having so many of the
same traits still gave him nightmares even after most of a week had past.
Along with how close his master's visions of a dark future had come to coming
true.
He still wasn't completely clear on what all had happened in the last
encounter, knew only what they'd planned, then seen the evidence all to clearly
himself that the plan had been used. Of course that knowledge was bad enough,
maddening really, for he thought he might be able to deal with it better were
he actually to remember doing it.
No, not it.
He needed to remember raping his master -- well, technically, being allowed to
rape his master. The technicality really didn't make him feel any better
although he understood Master Qui-Gon's point in so directing his thoughts.
Just as he understood his master's inability to talk about it yet, to know he
might never be told everything that had happened. What his body had done while
being possessed by the Sith.
Unfortunately, understanding the reasons or the decision to wait until they
could work with the Soul Healers really wasn't working for him. As evidenced by
his difficulty in just thinking the words. The reality -- the imagined reality
of his actions (and all too easily imagined because of the abortive attack he
could remember) was occupying his mind during more than his sleep.
Nor was he the only one having nightmares, of course. Which was why Master Qui-
Gon was with his master right now instead of up here in the cockpit taking the
co-pilot seat as they were entering Coruscant space. The two of them had not
left his master alone for the entire trip, much to his master's dismay.
Which was just too damn bad, as far as Anakin was concerned.
Except he wasn't sure if the knowledge that his master had acquiesced only to
mollify him made him angry or pleased. Such was his reaction to too many things
in their relationship right now, in between his bouts of worry and guilt.
Master Qui-Gon had been a blessing from the Force during the trip, being
intimately aware of their difficulties, but also more or less outside of them
and Anakin was pretty sure his master had been seeking out the other's level-
headedness just as he was the other master's ear and advice.
Which, of course, was also exacerbating his problem.
A part of him was angry and resentful that he couldn't go to his own master
about this and, if he was being painfully honest, that part of him did see it
as a weakness in his master despite his protestations to the contrary, and
intellectually and emotionally understanding that he couldn't go to his master
about his problem because his relationship with his master was the problem
Fortunately, however, most of the time he was just grateful that Master Qui-Gon
was there, was the type of man he'd turned out to be for them both.
He had more than a couple of nightmares reenacting the mission with it just
being himself and his master, and those had been even more frightening and
disastrous than what had happened.
As was discovering that the little of bit of Anakin that had remained in the
thing he had become had not particularly minded what he had wrought.
He knew that wasn't really him, had already had the talk about how any
subconscious desires or fantasies were fine and even healthy, as long as he
understood them for what they were and kept them under control just as he did
any other emotion. He supposed that would be a great deal of what his work with
the Soul Healers would be about. It had been bad enough to be shown his
potential for Darkness within his master's visions, but to now fantasize about
such a life --
"Normal space now," he interrupted his own thoughts and shifted them out of
hyperspace. And he started to reach over for the headset that would connect him
into Coruscant's comm net, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
"Let me, Ani."
He blushed to be caught so off guard, and to see the reality of so many of his
recent good and disturbing fantasies. At least his master was not looking as
wan and worn out as he'd been at the start of their return trip, although the
beard he'd grown out actually accented the hollowness in his master's cheeks
and the dark circles under his eyes that just didn't seem to go away instead of
hiding the mission's ravages.
Anakin knew he was looking a little gaunt himself; food of recent had been only
a means to an end instead of something to enjoy. Just like sleep.
"Would you prefer to take us in, Master?"
He and Master Qui-Gon had been pretty much trading off piloting duties as
neither would leave Obi-Wan alone even to take piloting duty and so after the
second such occasion, his master had simply turned the responsibilities over to
them and had busied himself in tinkering on the repairs or staying in his cabin
so that he and Master Qui-Gon would at least pretend to get some sleep.
But his master shook his head and reached instead for the headset. "You've
gotten us this far, Padawan, I'd be happy to have you take us home."
Anakin felt a warmth spread through him that had more to do with the feelings
behind those words than his typical pleasure in being able to fly. He was still
getting used to being able to read his master so clearly except when they were
actively shielding against each other. Which was happening too frequently for
Anakin's comfort, but he'd been hiding his own dirty little secrets, so he
supposed it was only fair.
Something else they would need to discuss and adjust too. Like the future
beyond this mission, something he was still trying to figure out since he was
pretty sure it would be involving Master Qui-Gon.
The three of them now shared a bond, something similar to the type of sharing
between partners if not life or love mates. He had no idea what his place would
be within it, didn't quite understand why he was even a part of it.
Or how it had seemed to form spontaneously instead of any of the three of them
consciously initiating it.
Although he could hear his master's voice softly speaking to Coruscant control,
he was more aware of his master's inner thoughts than what flight plan they
were being given to pilot them in.
His master seemed to have finally found his own peace instead of wrapping
himself up in Master Qui-Gon's serenity. Oh, he was still troubled, but was
feeling more like the master Anakin had grown up with, had learned to respect
and come to love. It was weird how on the one hand Anakin had felt rather
empowered to look out for someone instead of always being the one protected,
and how on the other, he'd found himself resentful for having to contemplate a
changing relationship even as he was being given many of the things he'd always
thought he wanted.
He'd have to be very careful not to become too complacent or self-satisfied in
being privy to so many of his master's previously all too well-hidden emotions
and opinions. Unconsciously done or not, the fact that the bond had occurred
showed a humbling amount of trust existed between them. And he was not about to
betray that.
******
No matter how often he'd relocated over his years of service to the Order, or
that almost every move had been a step up either in location or quarters or
responsibility, Qui-Gon detested packing. It didn't help that he'd amassed many
more possessions than did the typical Jedi, or even that many of his artifacts
or research papers were still boxed from his recent arrival on Coruscant. There
would still be wasted days trying to find something he'd improperly catalogued,
the odd broken item, or a forever lost something to deal with.
And that was assuming he'd even find the time to begin to unpack before being
sent on a new mission, or that once he started, he would be able to find room
to place all of his belongings in quarters already shared by two.
"That feels suspiciously like a complaint," came from beyond the open doorway
separating his bedroom from the common room of the quarters he was leaving.
"Which is rather funny considering that due to the sheer volume of stuff, our
own meager treasures will become lost amidst the clutter," chimed in a second
voice.
Qui-Gon grinned and closed the book he was supposed to be adding to the box on
his bed but had been reading through instead. He set his glasses down on top of
it and ran his fingers through the hair he'd not managed to find time to cut
since their return from Erinne. If he continued to let it grow, he'd need to
find some sort of tie to hold it back, he supposed, as it would get in his way
no matter which of his occupations he were to indulge in; researcher or his
newly confirmed status as a field mission specialist.
"You two are just looking for a way out of going back on your promise to help
me move," he responded in kind, marveling not only in finally being able to
exchange more than a few words in passing between mission reports, trips to the
Healers and to the Council, but that the exchange was finally not laden with
emotional preoccupation as a result of their completed mission. He hadn't
actually felt close enough to any one since his own padawan to tease them. And
despite that closeness, Qui-Gon really hadn't expected things to begin
approaching this kind of ease between them for weeks more, if not months.
Not that he hadn't understood master and apprentice's narrowed focus on each
other to his exclusion for the most part. Or, of course, the underlying
difficulties that had been the reason for their focus. Frankly, he'd been
surprised that the three of them had been able to spend any time together not
directly relating to mission debriefings. That he'd been given the invitation
to move in with them before everything had been worked out between Obi-Wan and
Anakin had come as a pleasant, but complete shock.
Moving in might be premature, but it was almost as if they weren't being given
a choice -- in the way they were being treated by their fellow Jedi, and by the
Force. Although things were still very ... volatile between them as a trio or
in any of the three sets of pairings now involved -- for the most part things
seemed much more stable. Well, less daunting, when thinking out a future that
involved them together.
And Obi-Wan and Anakin had both pointed out to him -- separately -- that things
wouldn't be able to be completely worked out until he became involved anyway,
as he had become part of their partnership and the problems due to the
circumstances and their new, three-way bond.
So now he found himself double checking his appearance in the small mirror he'd
never really before concerned himself with. In some ways he felt like a kid
Anakin's age again, not only eager to be starting out on a new adventure, but
also perhaps too concerned with trying to impress those he'd be working and
living with. Which was ridiculous not only given his age and the Jedi habit of
sharing quarters anyway, but also because of the very things the three of them
had already shared and were still recovering from.
To the best of his knowledge, Obi-Wan was still sporting bandages around his
chest and shoulder, while Anakin was still attending sessions with the Soul
Healers with his master, as well as privately. As for himself, he'd spent a
couple of session himself with the healers, although more to assure them that
he'd remained largely unscathed from the mission, other than his concern and
occasional nightmare on the other two's behalf. He'd also learned more than
just the names and visages of the Jedi High Council in the week since their
return, now forming his own opinions on the august personages based on reality
instead of reputation.
He was still adjusting to the reactions by the Council and their fellow Jedi.
To everyone's utter lack of surprise in something so odd as a three-way bond
involving a padawan, and that their new status was no more than the Order had
come to expect coming from an already unnatural and notorious pairing as Kenobi
and Skywalker. Even when Qui-Gon had been in charge of the temple on Solus
Four, he'd not been as well known or even as recognizable as he suddenly now
was on Coruscant with its much larger population of Jedi.
But notoriety was a small price to pay for everything else he had been given.
"If these quarters weren't half a mile away from ours, I would suggest you keep
them as a retreat and just move the essentials." Apparently no longer patient
to wait without, Obi-Wan now leaned against the doorframe to Qui-Gon's bedroom.
"A toothbrush, maybe your primary data pad and, oh, say a robe and a pair of
boots."
Qui-Gon found himself blushing from embarrassment -- and shock. Teasing about
boxes and promises was one thing. Making new promises -- especially of that
nature -- was quite something else. Yet when he looked up, Obi-Wan was finally
sporting the heart-rending grin he'd first fallen in lust with, and there was a
light back in the knight's eyes that Qui-Gon had tried not to despair of ever
seeing again. And failing utterly.
Now, though, all of the possibilities offered in their first meeting, then
reaffirmed in the cockpit on the trip out to Erinne, were back. As was a
healthy, lively glow not only to the knight's skin, but around his inner
spirit.
"You're looking ..."
"Better?" Obi-Wan offered, the grin quirking even more.
"I was going to say well or even stunning, but it is so much more than that."
Qui-Gon moved from the bed, needing to close the distance between them and make
sure he wasn't just projecting his own fantasies and desires. No touching
unless invited had been just one of the unspoken rules between them since the
Sith's assault, at least no touching to provide anything other than comfort.
But he couldn't help from raising his hands to do just that, only managing to
stop himself at the last second.
Only to have Obi-Wan lean into one of his palms before turning to kiss the
other. Only to have Obi-Wan reach up and drag Qui-Gon's head down so that their
lips could meet.
*Much better now,* he heard in his mind, something that should have been just
as shocking as having his own desires matched. But the bond and mind speech,
like the feel of Obi-Wan's lips -- and body now pressed against his -- seemed
completely natural. And horribly missed.
So were the fingers running across his jaw line although the beard they were
caressing still felt odd.
"It's filling in well," Obi-Wan observed as they finally broke away.
Qui-Gon nodded and gave a rueful smile. "I hadn't expected quite so much gray,
however."
"It just makes you look more distinguished."
"While yours being gone again makes you look little older than your padawan,"
he teased back.
"If you would prefer I grow it back --"
Qui-Gon silenced the offer with a kiss that moved from Obi-Wan's lips to the
cleft in his chin now bare again.
*I find you quite attractive either way,* he responded mentally so that he
could keep his mouth and tongue doing more interesting things.
*I only grow the beard out when I'm feeling lazy or want to hide,* came the
admission, along with a push that backed Qui-Gon up against the nearest wall.
Yes, Obi-Wan had hidden much during and after their return. Qui-Gon had to
wonder how much of today's ... exuberance was surface bravado or actual
composure and a true example of the residual traumas finally being dealt with.
While their bonding had been acknowledged by the Order, he still didn't have
full rights to confront the Soul Healers about Obi-Wan's therapy --
*Besides, Anakin thinks he's trying to grow a moustache,* Obi-Wan was
continuing, with both his directed mental conversation and an aggressive
tasting of Qui-Gon's lips, skin, his new beard.
Qui-Gon wasn't sure how many of his private thoughts were staying private, but
Obi-Wan was showing neither distress nor acknowledgement of the tenor of them,
so Qui-Gon decided to join the knight in the moment instead of worrying about
the past or their future.
*I thought padawans were prohibited from facial hair.* Although he knew even
such simple conversation as this would prove difficult to continue were they
planning to progress much farther in their re-exploration of each other, Qui-
Gon found himself enjoying the novelty almost as much as he was the taste of
Obi-Wan's neck and the little moans his ministrations were causing when he
began to return the caresses.
*T-tradition only,* Obi-Wan managed. *And by now I w-would have thought you'd
noticed how unhappy the other masters are if Ani or I aren't doing something
for them t-to object to --*
Qui-Gon lifted his head for a moment although he still didn't speak out loud.
*I would have thought the scandal of our bonding --*
Obi-Wan's eyes had turned an interesting shade of green, the light behind them
playful and amused. "Not scandal, perhaps just a little unorthodoxy," he
grinned. "And par for the course in their expectations of me." He then returned
to exchanging enthusiastic kisses and it was Qui-Gon's turn to groan, then to
suckle on Obi-Wan's tongue.
Although he'd not been in any sort of intimate relationship for several years
before meeting Obi-Wan, he'd found in the week of their return that he was more
than ready despite or perhaps even partially because of what had happened on
Erinne. How he had so hoped that Obi-Wan would not be permanently shattered in
regard to any physical or close relationship, hoping even more to be the one to
help the knight recover that aspect of himself. Such hope added to surprisingly
hormonal desire had made the week more of a trial than he would have expected.
That meditations had proven his feelings had not been a result from his bond
with Anakin had been unexpected, distressing and rather exciting. But he had
done nothing that might have caused Obi-Wan any more stress than the knight had
already been trying to deal with. There was also Anakin to consider --
"Hey you two, not with an impressionable padawan present."
Speaking of which.
"Not unless you plan to invite him to join in."
Qui-Gon was not sure whose shock of surprise flowed through the now opening
three-way link in finding that such an idea was not particularly abhorrent but
had already been considered individually. By all three of them.
The immediately following thought that such a level of intimacy was better
explored after actually discussing it -- and maybe a few more of the things
about the mission so far left unsaid or only bared to one of the Soul Healers,
however, seemed to come from both Anakin and Obi-Wan's direction. Properly
dampening Qui-Gon's ardor.
"Put it back in your pants, Padawan," Obi-Wan laughed although he was looking
pointedly at Qui-Gon before directing his attention to the bed that was almost
completely covered by boxes and a large number of books. "We've packing to do
before we can think of you talking us into anything else, including that
workout I promised you."
Qui-Gon felt his brow rise even as he worked to get over his embarrassment in
getting caught wanting sex as badly as Anakin had been recently experiencing.
"The healers have cleared you?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "For full mission status, once I'm comfortable myself with my
stamina and coordination." And he pulled apart the tunics Qui-Gon had already
nuzzled loose to reveal the lack of bandages and the already fading inch and a
half long scar.
Invitation was as apparent in Obi-Wan's thoughts as was desire in Qui-Gon's,
and he reverently kissed then tongued the length of it before sneaking over to
nip at the exposed and rising nipple. Obi-Wan shivered, but gently pushed Qui-
Gon away before either of them might forget themselves. Or forget Anakin.
He nodded and helped Obi-Wan straighten himself out, but could not help but
brush his fingers across Obi-Wan's neck when he lifted away the knight's hair
from under the edge. "Do you suppose there might be room for a third in that
workout?" he asked mildly, while simultaneously sending the thought also to
Anakin.
They both felt Anakin's enthusiastic affirmation and Obi-Wan simply smiled.
"Now who's looking to get out of packing and moving?"
Qui-Gon smiled back with a shrug. "Actually, I was thinking more about how it
would bring us full circle."
But no, far too much had happened for them to ever go back to the newness of
that time, even if it had only been five -- five! -- weeks. Not full circle,
but the next part of a pattern being woven between the three of them.
And Qui-Gon was finding the thought of living every moment of their new future
to be one he was quite looking forward to.
--finis--
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